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Stray Cats
Created by Millan.net
From: LABLaughsClean
on 8/28/2009
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Strict, Unbending Rules For Dealing With Stray Cats
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1. Stray cats will not be fed.
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2. Stray cats will not be fed
anything except dry cat food.
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3. Stray cats will not be fed
anything except canned cat food.
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4. Stray cats will not be fed anything
except canned cat food, yummy treats
and leftover fish scraps.
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5. Stray cats will not be encouraged
to make this house their permanent residence.
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6. Stray cats will not be petted,
played with or picked up and
cuddled unnecessarily.
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7. Stray cats that are petted,
played with, picked up
and cuddled will absolutely
not be given a name.
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8. Stray cats with or without a name
will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
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9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside
the house except at certain times.
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10. Stray cats will not be allowed
inside the house except on days ending in y.
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11. Stray cats allowed inside will
not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen
their claws on the furniture.
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12. Stray cats will not be permitted
to jump up on, or sharpen claws on
the really good furniture.
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13. Stray cats will be permitted on
all furniture but must sharpen claws on
new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post
with three perches.
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14. Stray cats will answer the
call of nature outdoors in the sand.
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15. Stray cats will answer the
call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact
plastic tray filled with Fresh n Sweet kitty litter.
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16. Stray cats will answer the
call of nature in the hooded litter pan
with a three-panel privacy screen
and plenty of head room.
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17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
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18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
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19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
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20. Stray cats will sleep in a
cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
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21. Stray cats will sleep in the special
Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic
lambs wool pillow.
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22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
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23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep
in our bed, except at the foot.
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24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep
in our bed under the covers.
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25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep
in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
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26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
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27. Stray cats will not play on the desk
near the computer.
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28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the
computer keyboard on the desk when the
human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier puyy
kmm4hbdm9lo9jmdskdm,. USING IT.
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