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Subj:.....How Many Dogs Does It Take
        To Change A Light Bulb? (S291b, S484c) 
          From: smiles on 98-12-29 
      and From: auntiegah on 8/28/2002 and 4/29/2006
 
 
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but
                  I don't see a light bulb!

 
DOBERMAN:  Immediately decides to change the
           brand of light bulb and find a more
           efficient form of lighting -- perhaps
           a fluorescent bulb.

 
 
AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light
                     bulbs in a little circle...

 
JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm
             bouncing off the walls and furniture.
             (how true)! 

 
BULLDOG:  Just one.  But it takes them three years
          to do it.

 
POMERANIANS don't change light bulbs, although
            sometimes their agent will get a German
            Shepherd in to do the job for them while
            they're out. 

 
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee
                on the carpet in the dark.

 
PUG:  Er, two.  Or maybe one.  No -- on
      second thought, make that two.  Is
      that OK with you? 

 
GOLDEN RETRIEVER:  The sun is shining, the day is
                   young, we've got our whole lives
                   ahead of us, and you're inside
                   worrying about a stupid burned-out
                   light bulb? 

 
AFGHAN:  Light bulb?  What light bulb? 

 
SHIBA-INU:  Zero!  Shibas aren't afraid of the dark! 

 
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need
           no stinking light bulb." 

 
SCHIPPERKE:  It's your light bulb -- change it
             yourself.  Unless.....  Is there
             food involved??

 
POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and
        he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring
        the house, my nails will be dry.

 
BEAGLE:  How many cookies do I get?

 
WEIMARANER:  What??  Light bulb?  You want ME
             to change a LIGHT BULB?

 
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the
     light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
     Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

 
BASENJI:  LIGHT BULB? We don't change no
          stinking light bulbs!

 
MALAMUTE:  Let *him* do it.  You can pet me
           while he's busy.

 
BOXER:  If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough
        to quit falling off the chair....... 

 
AMERICAN BULLDOG: One. JUMP, remove bulb, land.
                  JUMP, replace bulb, land.
                  Two:  What light bulb, So?
                  We can play in the dark.

 
GOLDEN RETRIEVER:  "I'll be glad to change the light
     bulb for you, but first can't we play catch with
     the tennis ball, or Frisbee -- and then I want
     to lick your face and rest my head in your lap
     and look up at you with my sad eyes.  What, you
are changing the light bulb yourself -- you didn't have to do that,
but I looooove you so much for being my friend and doing that." 
 
 
DALMATIAN:  Just one, but it will really hate
            the new bulb.

 
ROTTWEILER:  I'll change the light bulb if I can
             eat the old one.

or           Just one.  You want to make
             something of it? 

 
CORGI:  I can't reach the stupid lamp! 

 
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

 
SPRINGER:  Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I
           just ate was a light bulb?

 
STANDARD POODLE:  None.  Go get human, sit under
         it, look up and point it out -- then go
         lie down in disgust that it took so long.

 
BORDER COLLIE:  Just one.  And he'll rewire the house
                while he's at it.

 
WOLFDOG:  Let me see that light bulb, anyway.  What's
   it made of, what's inside of it, what will happen
   if I drop it.  I might change it, but let me think
   about it.  You're not trying to tell me what to
   do, are you?  Hey, I just had a great idea.  I
   think I'll change that light bulb!

 
GERMAN SHEPHERD:  I'll change it as soon as I've led these
                  people from the dark, check to make sure
                  I haven't missed any, and make just one
                  more perimeter patrol to see that no one
                  has tried to take advantage of the
                  situation. 

 
DACHSHUND:  Well, first get me a ladder and a treat...
            no, you took too long.  I want TWO treats
            and I'll do it...  No, not that treat, the
            other kind.  Geez, do I have to do every-
            thing? (of course, followed by "the look".)

 
IRISH SETTER:  It only takes one, but it will put
          in a really dim bulb.

 
PIT BULL TERRIER:  Jump and take hold of old light
         bulb.  Now, let go of old light bulb.  I
         said LET GO OF LIGHT BULB!  Please????
         Let go of the light bulb??????  Let go?

 
GOOD OL' SOUTHERN HOUND DOG: Huh????

 
CAT:  I don't waste my time with these
      childish jokes.  Cats do not change
      light bulbs.  People change light
      bulbs. So, the real question is: 
      "How long will it be before I can
      expect some light, some dinner,
      and a massage?"
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