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Subject: The Sunday Morning Laughs #795
         Date: 4/29/2012
 

"Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what 
 they think laughable." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
 

The best jokes I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh and it cut down the work.  If you don't get
you Sunday Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
 

Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have sent me through the years.

You can also view old "Sunday Morning Laughs" at 
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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 The volume of new material I see in emails and on the web is
 decrease.  The Sunday Morning Laughs will be getting shorter.
 Help keep the Sunday Laughs going by sending me new stuff.
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Subj:     Frasier's Celebrity Callers
          From: Wimp.com on 4/10/2012
Photo from Marcy...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNPrlVXeuEA
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/fakecelebrities/

 After Cheers closed its doors, Dr. Frasier Crane moved to
 Seattle and started a radio show where he provided free
 psychiatric advice to just about anyone who felt like
 calling in.  And, what many people don't know is, many of
 those callers were celebrity cameos and now you can see
 just who was ringing in with what problem thanks to this
 collection. It's actually a little surprising and pretty
 impressive wide variety of stars that NBC managed to get
 over the years.

 Click on either source, or below for my copy, to see
 some of the celebrity cameo performances.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-Frasier.html

 or at

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-Frasier.wmv
 

 Click on http://www.rsmith.org.uk/frasier/castchar.html
 to see the full list of celebrities who have appreared on
 the Frasier TV show.
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Subj:     Travel Alberta's Remember To Breathe Commercial
          From: tom
          on 4/10/2012
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ThFCg0tBDck
 Source2: http://www.buzzbishop.com/blog/
..........2012/03/09/remember-to-breathe/

 Travel Alberta's Remember to Breathe commercial is spectacular.
 It won the Diamond Award as the best entry in the annual Golden
 City Gate international film and media competition at the
 International Tourism Fair in Berlin.

 Click on either source, or below for my copy, to see this fast
 paced, awesome, hi def scenery.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/nationalities/a_to_z/canadian_Alberta.html
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Subj:     Irish Toast Masters' Club
          From: CHRISDADDYG on 2/25/2002 
      and From: kgilmour2000 on 4/8/2012

 John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters' Club. 
 One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a 
 contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast. 
 Well, John O'Riley won the contest with the following verse: 

 "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the legs 
 me wife."  When John O'Riley arrived home, his beautiful 
 wife asked him how the Toast Masters' meeting went and he 
 said, "I won the contest for the best toast of the evening." 

 His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, 
 "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent in Church wi' 
 me wife." 

 His wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to 
 include me in your toast." 

 The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and 
 ran into the local policeman on the beat who was also at 
 the Toast Masters meeting with her husband.  He said, 
 "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your 
 husband John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. 
 He won first prize." 

 "Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't 
 quite honest with the facts: he's only been there twice, 
 the first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had 
 to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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Subj:     Office Hacky Sacy
          From: darrellvip on 8/27/2008
      and From: tom on 4/5/2012
Photo from
Yahoo! Search
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKzHEqnfdfI
 Source2: http://vodpod.com/watch/949176-office-hackysack

 A guy at the office takes a break to play some hacky sack
 and performs a surprising finish.  Click on either source,
 or below for my copy, to see this man's amazing hacky sack
 skills.  Don't skip this video.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs-supp-bored.html

 or at

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs-supp-bored.wmv
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Subj:     Beethoven's Fifth Symphony On Buttocks
          From: darrelldre on 4/4/2012
Drawing from MakingMusicFun.net
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzsHITk6_WU
 Source2: http://www.acecabana.com/
 Source3: http://content.thespco.org/music/compositions/symphony-no-
..........5-ludwig-van-beethoven/?gclid=CLyTrp-Hnq8CFSQZQgoddVWqaQ

 Ludwig van Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 premiered at Vienna's 
 Theater an der Wien on December 22, 1808.  It was the most 
 famously disastrous of Beethoven's concerts.  In a single 
 day, around four hours of music was tackled by the usual 
 Viennese mixture of professionals and talented amateurs, 
 directed by a largely deaf conductor and soloist, in an 
 unheated venue during one of the coldest spells Vienna had 
 experienced in a long while.  No wonder it was a fiasco. 

 In a effort to bring Beethoven to the masses, here is his 
 Fifth Symphony on buttock.  Click on either of the top 
 two sources, or below for my copy, to see this cute, funny 
 European club act.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-buttocks.html

 or at

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-buttocks.wmv
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Subj:     Husband To Die Tonight
          From: darrell94590 on 11/8/2006 
      and From: tom on 4/5/2012 

 A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill.  The doctor 
 says, "You know, you should have come to see me sooner. 
 Unfortunately you have waited too long and you are going 
 to die this evening."  The man is distraught and wonders 
 how he is going to tell his wife. 

 Well, he tells her and she takes it pretty well.  "Honey, 
 this is going to be a night that you will always remember," 
 she says. "I am going to treat you like a king."  She 
 prepares a scrumptious gourmet dinner with wine, candles- 
 the works. 

 After dinner she slips away and returns in the most 
 incredible negligee the man has ever seen.  She leads him 
 into their bedroom.  They make the most passionate love 
 they have ever made.  The man is beside himself.  Once 
 done, the wife rolls over to go to sleep knowing she kept 
 her promise.  Well, the husband is wide-awake watching 
 the clock. 

 He knows that he is doomed.  He taps her..."Honey?" he 
 whispers.  She rolls over and again proceeds to make love. 
 Again when they were done she rolls over and he taps her. 
 She is getting cranky, but under the circumstances she 
 grants her husband's dying wishes.  Finally the wife 
 rolls over and begins to snore. Well, the man decides 
 to tap her again.  "Honey?" he whispers.  She rolls over 
 and yells, "Oh sure! You don't have to get up in the morning!"
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Subj:     Sid Caesar's Argument to Beethoven's 5th
          From: FunnyOrDie.com
          on 4/5/2012
 Source1: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/04b1a48a46/argument-to-beeth
..........ovens-fifth-from-caesar-hour-1954-from-greatest-comedy-sketches
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tS2P8efEko

 With no cue cards, no teleprompters, and no second takes,
 legendary funnyman Sid Caesar pioneered live television
 sketch comedy. "Argument to Beethoven's 5th" was a classic
 routine from the 1954 sitcom show titled Caesar's Hour.  In
 it Sid Caesar and Nanette Fabray play a married couple in
 a argument with pantomimed action.  This amazing sketch is
 choreographed to Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

 Click on either source, or below for my copy, to see this
 wonderful Sid Caesar routine.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-Caesar.html

 or at

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-Caesar.mp4
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Subj:     101 Year Old Woman Driving
.............An 81 Year Old Car!
          From: darrelldre on 4/4/2012
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHwwwJ83oWo
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/3686/
..........101-Year-Old-Woman-Driving-An-81-Year--Old-Car!/

 Margaret Dunning says "I'm a little older than some of you 
 people".  At 101 Margaret is still driving her 1930 straight 
 eight Packard.  She says she can still change the oil and 
 spark plugs.  Someone asked her if she has driven the Packard 
 all her life and she replied "Not Yet!". 

 Click on either source, or below for my copy, to visit 
 Margaret and her 1930 Packard.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/cars-supp2-101.html
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Subj:     Her Story And His Story
          From: allenbergman on 7/29/2008 
      and From: AFine963 on 4/10/2012 

 HER STORY: 

 He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar.  I thought it 
 might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say 
 much about it.  The conversation was  quite slow going so 
 I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we 
 could talk privately. 

 We went to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny. 
 I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's 
 me or something I did or something else.  I ask him, and he 
 says no its not me.  But you know I'm not really sure.  So 
 anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him 
 and he just puts his arm around me. 

 I don't know what the hell that means because you know he 
 doesn't say it back or anything.  We finally get back to his 
 place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me!  So I try 
 to talk about it but he just switches on the TV. 

 Reluctantly I say I'm going to go to sleep. 

 Then, after about 20 minutes, he joins me and we have sex. 
 But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just 
 wanted to leave. 

 I dunno, I just don't know, what he's thinking anymore.  I 
 mean, do you think he's met someone else??? 
 

 HIS STORY: 
 Shitty day at work.  Tired.  Got laid though!
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Subj:     The Born Loser Sunday Comic Strip
          By Art and Chip Sansom on 4/8/2012
Drawing from Wondermark.com...
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/the-born-loser/2012/04/08

 Click on the above source, or below for my copy, to see 
 this great Sunday comic strip about living within our means.
 

 http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/banking_pictures/supp2/born_loser.html
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Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon
..........By Dan Piraro
          From: BizarroBlog on 4/6/2012
 Source: http://bizarrocomic.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html
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  This is a rare example of
a cartoon that I drew for
Bizarro but decided not to
run.  Any time I have an
idea that I know will be
controversial, I explain
it to my editor at King
Features and ask him what
he thinks.  We discuss the
pros and cons and I decide
whether the risk of losing
papers is worth the gag.

It's still a great joke,
though, in my humble opinion,
so I'm sharing it with you
here.

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Calvin and Hobbes dance
is from FreeWebs.com
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