Subject: The
Sunday Morning Laughs #795
Date: 4/29/2012
"Men show
their characters in nothing more clearly than in what
they
think laughable." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
The best jokes
I receive each week are from you folks.
If you get
a good joke please pass it on to me, I enjoy
a good laugh
and it cut down the work. If you don't get
you Sunday
Laughs, or want a back issue, drop me a note.
Go to http://jokelibrary.net/a_joke_library.html
to read the great jokes you have
sent me through the years.
You can also view old "Sunday Morning
Laughs" at
http://jokelibrary.net/archive/index.html
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009 |
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The volume of new material
I see in emails and on the web is
decrease. The Sunday
Morning Laughs will be getting shorter.
Help keep the Sunday Laughs
going by sending me new stuff.
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Subj:
Frasier's Celebrity Callers
From: Wimp.com on 4/10/2012
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Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNPrlVXeuEA
Source2: http://www.wimp.com/fakecelebrities/
After Cheers closed its doors,
Dr. Frasier Crane moved to
Seattle and started a radio
show where he provided free
psychiatric advice to just
about anyone who felt like
calling in. And, what
many people don't know is, many of
those callers were celebrity
cameos and now you can see
just who was ringing in with
what problem thanks to this
collection. It's actually
a little surprising and pretty
impressive wide variety of
stars that NBC managed to get
over the years.
Click on either source, or
below for my copy, to see
some of the celebrity cameo
performances.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-Frasier.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/after_m/psych-supp-Frasier.wmv
Click on http://www.rsmith.org.uk/frasier/castchar.html
to see the full list of celebrities
who have appreared on
the Frasier TV show.
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Subj:
Travel Alberta's Remember To Breathe Commercial
From: tom
on 4/10/2012 |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ThFCg0tBDck
Source2: http://www.buzzbishop.com/blog/
..........2012/03/09/remember-to-breathe/
Travel
Alberta's Remember to Breathe commercial is spectacular.
It
won the Diamond Award as the best entry in the annual Golden
City
Gate international film and media competition at the
International
Tourism Fair in Berlin.
Click
on either source, or below for my copy, to see this fast
paced,
awesome, hi def scenery.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/nationalities/a_to_z/canadian_Alberta.html
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Subj:
Irish Toast Masters' Club
From: CHRISDADDYG on 2/25/2002
and From: kgilmour2000 on 4/8/2012
John
O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters' Club.
One
evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a
contest
was held to see who could deliver the best toast.
Well,
John O'Riley won the contest with the following verse:
"Here's
to the best years o' me life, spent between the legs
me
wife." When John O'Riley arrived home, his beautiful
wife
asked him how the Toast Masters' meeting went and he
said,
"I won the contest for the best toast of the evening."
His
wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said,
"Here's
to the best years o' me life, spent in Church wi'
me
wife."
His
wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to
include
me in your toast."
The
next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and
ran
into the local policeman on the beat who was also at
the
Toast Masters meeting with her husband. He said,
"Hello
Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your
husband
John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening.
He
won first prize."
"Yes,
that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't
quite
honest with the facts: he's only been there twice,
the
first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had
to
pull him by the ears to make him come."
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Subj:
Office Hacky Sacy
From: darrellvip on 8/27/2008
and From: tom on 4/5/2012 |
|
Photo
from
Yahoo!
Search |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKzHEqnfdfI
Source2: http://vodpod.com/watch/949176-office-hackysack
A guy
at the office takes a break to play some hacky sack
and
performs a surprising finish. Click on either source,
or
below for my copy, to see this man's amazing hacky sack
skills.
Don't skip this video.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs-supp-bored.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/occupations/b_to_l/jobs-supp-bored.wmv
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Subj:
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony On Buttocks
From: darrelldre on 4/4/2012
Drawing from MakingMusicFun.net |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzsHITk6_WU
Source2: http://www.acecabana.com/
Source3: http://content.thespco.org/music/compositions/symphony-no-
..........5-ludwig-van-beethoven/?gclid=CLyTrp-Hnq8CFSQZQgoddVWqaQ
Ludwig
van Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 premiered at Vienna's
Theater
an der Wien on December 22, 1808. It was the most
famously
disastrous of Beethoven's concerts. In a single
day,
around four hours of music was tackled by the usual
Viennese
mixture of professionals and talented amateurs,
directed
by a largely deaf conductor and soloist, in an
unheated
venue during one of the coldest spells Vienna had
experienced
in a long while. No wonder it was a fiasco.
In a
effort to bring Beethoven to the masses, here is his
Fifth
Symphony on buttock. Click on either of the top
two
sources, or below for my copy, to see this cute, funny
European
club act.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-buttocks.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-buttocks.wmv
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Subj:
Husband To Die Tonight
From: darrell94590 on 11/8/2006
and From: tom on 4/5/2012
A man
goes to the doctor after feeling ill. The doctor
says,
"You know, you should have come to see me sooner.
Unfortunately
you have waited too long and you are going
to
die this evening." The man is distraught and wonders
how
he is going to tell his wife.
Well,
he tells her and she takes it pretty well. "Honey,
this
is going to be a night that you will always remember,"
she
says. "I am going to treat you like a king." She
prepares
a scrumptious gourmet dinner with wine, candles-
the
works.
After
dinner she slips away and returns in the most
incredible
negligee the man has ever seen. She leads him
into
their bedroom. They make the most passionate love
they
have ever made. The man is beside himself. Once
done,
the wife rolls over to go to sleep knowing she kept
her
promise. Well, the husband is wide-awake watching
the
clock.
He knows
that he is doomed. He taps her..."Honey?" he
whispers.
She rolls over and again proceeds to make love.
Again
when they were done she rolls over and he taps her.
She
is getting cranky, but under the circumstances she
grants
her husband's dying wishes. Finally the wife
rolls
over and begins to snore. Well, the man decides
to
tap her again. "Honey?" he whispers. She rolls over
and
yells, "Oh sure! You don't have to get up in the morning!"
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Subj:
Sid Caesar's Argument to Beethoven's 5th
From: FunnyOrDie.com
on 4/5/2012 |
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Source1: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/04b1a48a46/argument-to-beeth
..........ovens-fifth-from-caesar-hour-1954-from-greatest-comedy-sketches
Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tS2P8efEko
With
no cue cards, no teleprompters, and no second takes,
legendary
funnyman Sid Caesar pioneered live television
sketch
comedy. "Argument to Beethoven's 5th" was a classic
routine
from the 1954 sitcom show titled Caesar's Hour. In
it
Sid Caesar and Nanette Fabray play a married couple in
a argument
with pantomimed action. This amazing sketch is
choreographed
to Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
Click
on either source, or below for my copy, to see this
wonderful
Sid Caesar routine.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-Caesar.html
or at
http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/m_files/music/m2-Caesar.mp4
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Subj:
101 Year Old Woman Driving
.............An
81 Year Old Car!
From: darrelldre on 4/4/2012 |
Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHwwwJ83oWo
Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/3686/
..........101-Year-Old-Woman-Driving-An-81-Year--Old-Car!/
Margaret
Dunning says "I'm a little older than some of you
people".
At 101 Margaret is still driving her 1930 straight
eight
Packard. She says she can still change the oil and
spark
plugs. Someone asked her if she has driven the Packard
all
her life and she replied "Not Yet!".
Click
on either source, or below for my copy, to visit
Margaret
and her 1930 Packard.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/cars/cars-supp2-101.html
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Subj:
Her Story And His Story
From: allenbergman on 7/29/2008
and From: AFine963 on 4/10/2012
HER
STORY:
He was
in an odd mood when I got to the bar. I thought it
might
have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say
much
about it. The conversation was quite slow going so
I thought
we should go off somewhere more intimate so we
could
talk privately.
We went
to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny.
I'm
trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's
me
or something I did or something else. I ask him, and he
says
no its not me. But you know I'm not really sure. So
anyway,
in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him
and
he just puts his arm around me.
I don't
know what the hell that means because you know he
doesn't
say it back or anything. We finally get back to his
place
and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me! So I try
to
talk about it but he just switches on the TV.
Reluctantly
I say I'm going to go to sleep.
Then,
after about 20 minutes, he joins me and we have sex.
But,
he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just
wanted
to leave.
I dunno,
I just don't know, what he's thinking anymore. I
mean,
do you think he's met someone else???
HIS
STORY:
Shitty
day at work. Tired. Got laid though!
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Subj:
The Born Loser Sunday Comic Strip
By Art and Chip Sansom on 4/8/2012
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Source: http://www.gocomics.com/the-born-loser/2012/04/08
Click
on the above source, or below for my copy, to see
this
great Sunday comic strip about living within our means.
http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/banking_pictures/supp2/born_loser.html
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Subj: Bizarro
Cartoon
..........By
Dan Piraro
From: BizarroBlog on 4/6/2012
Source: http://bizarrocomic.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html
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This is a rare example
of
a cartoon that I drew for
Bizarro but decided not to
run. Any time I have an
idea that I know will be
controversial, I explain
it to my editor at King
Features and ask him what
he thinks. We discuss the
pros and cons and I decide
whether the risk of losing
papers is worth the gag.
It's still a great joke,
though, in my humble opinion,
so I'm sharing it with you
here. |
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