(Includes 88 jokes and articles, 17844n,44,cf)
Click "Here" for Music-Supp2
Baby from
AGAG Animation Gallery
| Subj:
Music Supplement
(Includes 88 jokes and articles, 17844n,44,cf) Click "Here" for Music-Supp2 |
|
Baby from AGAG Animation Gallery |
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| Subj:
Piano Balls (S484)
From: igiggle on 5/1/2006 |
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An amazing display of talent.
All I can say is Wow!
You can view this movie at the
source above, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: My Favorite
Things (S480b)
From: vaterbenicia on 4/1/2006
To commemorate her 69th birthday
on October 1, actress/vocalist
Julie Andrews made a special
appearance at Manhattan's Radio
City Music Hall for the benefit
of the AARP. One of the musical
numbers she performed was "My
Favorite Things" from the legendary
movie "Sound Of Music."
However, the lyrics of the song were
deliberately changed for the
entertainment of her "blue hair"
audience. :(Sing the song as
you gooooo....) Here are the
lyrics she recited
Sing along with Julie Andrews
to the tune of "My Favorite
Things" from Sound of Music.
Maalox and nose drops and needles
for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new
dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up
in string,
These are a few of my favorite
things.
Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing
aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false
teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches
with swings,
These are a few of my favorite
things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite
things,
And then I don't feel so bad
Hot tea and crumpets, and corn
pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked
with onions ,
Bathrobes and heat pads and
hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite
things.
Back pains, confused brains,
and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and
hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short
shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite
things.
When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,Then
I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
---------------------------------------
Ms. Andrews received a standing
ovation from the crowd that
lasted over four minutes and
repeated encores.
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Subj:
The Llama Song (S469b in Other_Animals)
by Burton Earny From: igiggle on 1/15/2006 |
This SWF movie is a very catchy
little song with pictures.
You can view it at the source
above, or on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Revised
Hits For Baby Boomers (S463b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 12/6/2005
'60s' artists revised their hits' lyrics for baby boomers.
They include:
Herman's Hermits -
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely
Walker
The Bee Gees -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin -
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin'
a Flash
Ringo Starr -
I Get By With a Little Help
from Depends
Roberta Flack -
The First Time Ever I Forgot
Your Face
Johnny Nash -
I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon -
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
Commodores -
Once, Twice, Three Times to
the Bathroom
Marvin Gaye -
I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
Procol Harem -
A Whiter Shade of Hair
Leo Sayer -
You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations -
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
Abba -
Denture Queen
Tony Orlando -
Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling
if you Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy -
I am Woman, Hear me Snore
Willie Nelson -
On the Throne Again
Leslie Gore -
It's My Procedure and I'll Cry
if I Want To
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| Subj:
Celestial Jukebox S283b)
From: alerts-newsbulletin on 7/2/2002 |
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Picture of Celestial Jukebox
from eBay add |
The original article about the
Celestial Jukebox project in
no longer available on Yahoo.
Two good alternate articles
art the following:
The Celestial Jukebox. Where
is it?
Posted by Bill Evans in Bill's
Corner on May 3, 2002
Source: http://news.dmusic.com/article/4777
The UJukebox Manifesto
By Janelle Brown
Source: http://archive.salon.com/tech/feature/2000/11/13/jukebox/
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Subj: CD Copy
Protection (S277b)
From: jerry on 5/19/2002
The music recording industry
which, in their zeal to prevent
people from copying CDs, has
now, according to MacUser,
created music CDs which, when
played in the iMac, damages
the machine's firmware requiring
that the machine be sent
in for repair. The CD
mentioned is Celine Dion's "A New
Day Has Come" (they ain't joking).
MacUser 10-May-02
From: jerry on 5/20/2002
Yesterday we reported that a
new CD copyright scheme
damages the firmware in iMacs
requiring that the
machine be taken in for service.
Today Reuters reports that this
scheme, this brilliant,
clever, high tech copy protection
scheme can be
completely defeated by merely
investing 99 cents in a
marker pen. They report
that if you scribble around
the rim of the CD with a felt-tip
marker, the protection
scheme disappears!
They tried this with the Celine
Dion CD that damaged the
iMacs and it worked fine after
the scribbling was done.
Reuters via Yahoo News 20-May-02
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Subj: Short
Music Jokes (S205)
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Subj:
Leningrad Cowboys ? Red Army Choir
Singing SWEET HOME ALABAMA (S586b in Russian) From: rfslick on 4/13/2008 |
Now consider the Finnish rock
band called The Leningrad
Cowboys. A little while
ago, they held a concert in
Russia, in which - to the screaming
applause of Russian
teenagers - they got the Red
Army Choir to join them on
stage for a performance of
'Sweet Home Alabama.' In
English! You couldn't
make this up!
You can view this amazing concert
at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking
'HERE'.
Top
Subj: Poem
- Maestro In Rome (S411b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/29/2004
A maestro directing in Rome
Had a quaint way of driving
it home
Whoever he climbed
Had to keep herself timed
To the beat of his old Metronome
| Subj:
Ray Stevens -The Mississippi
.............Squirrel Revival (S585 in Anim-Supp) From: rfslick on 4/5/2008 |
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Top
Subj: The
Music Director And The Bad Drummer (S400b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 8/23/2004
A musical director was having
a lot of trouble with a
drummer. He talked several
times to the drummer, but
his performance just never improved.
One day, before the whole orchestra,
the conductor said,
"When a musician can't play
his instrument properly and
doesn't improve when given help,
they take away the
instrument, and give him two
sticks, and make him a drummer."
A whisper was heard from the
percussion section: "And if
he can't handle even that, they
take away one of his sticks
and make him a conductor."
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Subj:
Song "But I Could Be Wrong" (S583c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/20/2008 Photo from YouTube |
Top
Subj: Horses
Singing Four Part Harmony (S342b)
From: Imogenelumen on 8/14/2003
Wait for the entire screen to
load up with all four horses
and a fence in front of them.
Then click on each horse.
Make sure your sound is on.
Re-click on any horse to
make it turn off or turn it
back on again. Somebody did some
real wizardry of programming
to coordinate this!
Try clicking on the horses from
left to right then
right to left then just one
or two at a time... It's fun
and a good stress reliever.
Have fun!
http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf
| Subj:
I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore!
From: rfslick (S576c in Naked) on 1/24/2008 |
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Top
Subj: The
Oswald Rock Band (S363)
From: Sam H. on 1/7/2004
This is truly sick humor, I
love it. If you are easily
offended I wouldn't look at
this picture on my web site at
http://jokelibrary.150m.com/yyPictures/TwistedHumorP3.html#oswald
or click 'Here'
to see the file version.
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Subj:
Vince Mira Sings Ring Of Fire (S576)
From: rfslick on 1/21/2008 (See 'The Ring Of Fire' in Fart) |
| Subj:
Somewhere Over The Rainbow (S575)
From: darrellvip on 1/9/2008 |
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Subj:
We Wish You A Merry Christmas (S569 in Christmas1)
From: tom on 12/15/2007 (See 'Piano Balls' in Music-Supp) |
| Subj:
Nocturne In B Flat Major (S566c)
From: edapsmas on 11/21/2007 |
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Subj:
Prelude To Fornication (S565c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/29/2007 |
| Subj:
I'm My Own Grandpa (S563)
By Ray Stephens From: rfslick on 11/5/2007 |
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| Subj:
I'm My Own Grandpa II (DU)
From: Wimp.com on 1/4/2010 Source: http://www.wimp.com/owngrampa/ |
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Subj:
Bobby McFerrin Performs Bach (S563)
From: edapsmas on 11/4/2007 |
| Subj: "If
My Nose Was Running Money"
From: rfslick on 10/16/2007 (S561b) Photo from
YouTube...
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Subj:
We Didn't Start The Fire (S560)
From: edapsmas on 10/9/2007 Picture from Yahoo Images |
| Subj:
Hip Hop Violinist (S559)
From: LABLaughsClean on 9/23/2007 |
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Subj:
Kill The Wabbit - What's Opera Doc? (S555b)
From: edapsmas on 9/2/2007 (in Cartoons) Picture from YouTube.com |
| Subj:
Country Weather Band (S554c)
Photos from: paskenta55 on 8/26/2007 |
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Subj:
Rodney Carrington - Show Them To Me (S552 in Breast)
From: cappucinid on 8/14/2007 Photo from Yahoo Images |
| Subj:
Bon Jovi And The Insult Comic Dog (S551)
From: YouTube.com on 8/13/2007 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3wAWWf_m18 |
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Subj:
Paul Potts Sings Opera (S550 in Englishman)
From: samhutkins on 8/5/2007 |
| Subj:
Strangers On My Flight (S549 in Planes-Supp)
From: AFine963 on 7/28/2007 Picture
from Animatronics.org...
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Subj:
On the Street Where You Live (S548b,d)
From: Media @ Large on 7/18/2007 Picture from Damav.com |
| Subj:
Tom Rush - Remember Song (S546b)
From: rfslick on 6/26/2007 Photo from
YouTube...
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Subj:
Press One For English (S546c)
From: rfslick on 6/26/2007 |
| Subj:
Grease Babies (S543 in Kids3)
From: darrell94590 on 6/6/2007 |
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Subj:
The Four Fingered Pianist (S542c)
From: edapsmas on 6/4/2007 (in Handicapped-Supp) |
| Subj:
Clinton Got A Blowjob - Video (S534)
From: sfo_pilot on 4/16/2007 (in Movies) |
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Subj: Joshua Bell
Plays The L'Enfant Plaza Station (S534b)
From: edapsmas on 4/11/2007 From: WashingtonPost.com |
| Subj:
Name That Tune (S533c)
From: darrell94590 on 4/5/2007 |
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Subj:
Jukebox (S526c)
From: drgolfmd on 2/7/2007 Girl from Playa Cofi Jukebox |
| Subj:
Smells like Nirvana (S517b)
From: ThatVideoSite.com on 12/11/06 Source: http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/279.html |
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Nirvana picture
from Tok2.com |
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Subj:
11 Year Old Yodeller (S508)
From: darrell94590 on 10/17/2006 |
| Subj:
Today's The Day (S508 in Cowboy2)
From: edapsmas on 10/16/2006 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMNzF9i8e4k |
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Subj:
Mozart's Opera Banned In Germany (S507)
From: edapsmas on 9/26/2006 Picture from CheapTickets.com |
| Subj:
What A Wonderful World (S496b)
From: darrell94590 on 7/24/2006 |
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Top
Subj: The
Music Teacher (S492b)
From: igiggle on 6/26/2006
Because of professional commitments,
my wife stayed in
Maryland for a year after I
took a teaching job in South
Carolina. Some of my ninth-grade
music-appreciation
students, however, had difficulty
understanding our
separation. One day, while
I was playing a Beethoven
symphony for them, a girl asked,
"Do you listen to that
kind of music at home?"
When I answered that I did, another
student muttered, "No
wonder his wife won't live with
him." ~~Reader's Digest
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Subj:
Beatles Quiz (S480c)
From: Dr. Quiz on 6/15/2006 |
| Subj: Are You Lonesome
Tonight? (Senior Citizen Ver.)
From: darrell94590 on 4/13/2006 (S482c) |
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JUST THINK, ELVIS WOULD BE 70 THIS YEAR!.
If Elvis had lived longer, he
possibly would have re-written,
"Are You Lonesome Tonight,"
here's how it might have turned
out. Turn up speakers
and sing along!
To listen, click on the source
above, or on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj:
16 Century Walkman (S470b)
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 1/18/2006 |
| Subj:
Pavarotti Loves Elephants
by Joel Veitch (S469b in Elephant) From: Giggles and Grins on 1/16/2006 |
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Subj:
Wizards of Winter (S463b in Christmas3)
From: dejuanita on 12/8/2005 |
| Subj:
Piano Duet - Movie (S442b)
From: auntiegah on 7/11/2005 |
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Top
Subj: Violinist
Jokes (S361b)
From Instrument Jokes on 12/29/03
at http://www.mit.edu/people/jcb/jokes/
Q: How do you tell the difference
between a violinist and a dog?
A: The dog knows when to stop
scratching.
Q: How many second violinists
does it take
to change a light
bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that
high!
Top
Subj: CD Settlement
Money (S310)
From: agrief on 1/8/2003
I have NEVER forwarded one of
these things along before.
But I guess there's a first
time for everything, because
according to snopes.com
(http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/cdrefund.asp),
this is true, and I consider
them a reliable source. So
check it out for yourself.
- Abe
How to get your twenty dollars. Read below
Go to
http://www.siliconvalley.com/mld/siliconvalley/4888777.htm
and read the article about the
$20.00 rebate as part of a
settlement with the record companies.
Thanks for the twenty dollars
Abe. I too went to
www.snopes2.com and did a search
for CD Settlement. The
article came up as legitimate,
but you must apply by
March 3 of this year.
Top
Subj: Real
Short Music Jokes
Among the music catalogues that
Michael Jackson owns
the rights to is the South Carolina
State anthem.
Who was John Lennon's first girl
friend?
John Lennon's first girlfriend
was named Thelma Pickles.
What's unique about the Beatle's
song "Eleanor Rigby"?
The Beatles did not play a single
note in the song.
Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar.....
Bach had 22 kids because he had no stops on his organ.
I'm tired of all this sax and violins on public television.
"I'm told that Wagner's music
is not as bad as it sounds."
-- Mark Twain.
For more Twain quotes see 'Twain
on Government' in POLITICAL2.
Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.
Johnny says to his mom: I want
to be a drummer when I grow up!
Mom: But Johnny, you can't do
both.
A band director avoided being
struck by lightning even
though he stayed on his aluminum
ladder in a thunderstorm.
(Seems he wasn't a good conductor.)
We took a collection for our
band director's funeral
asking $50 from community leaders.
We got $100 with
a note to bury two of them.
Told to turn on his amp, the
guitar player
stroked it slowly while saying,
"I love you."
A guitarist was so Baroque, he
robbed a music store and
ran off with the lute.
His percussionist friend took a
drum and beat it.
A guitarist named Alex Opornockity
played a whole concert
with a flat 'B' string.
It seems Opornockity only tunes once.
Three guitarists collaborated
on a book of scales.
Each contributed one he knew.
June the harpist and Sam the
trombonist went out to a
discotheque. Sam's car
wouldn't lock, but Sam knew the
owner, so they locked their
instruments in his office.
Having too much to drink, they
went back to rehearsal
without their instruments. June
told the conductor, "I
left my harp in Sam's
friend's disco." [if you don't
get it, think Tony Bennett]
These jokes are so bad, I can't
Handel them. They make
me Lizstless. They can
be too Mendlesohm. You'd better
go out Bach and stay in Haydn.
Not being on birth control, the
soprano tells the sax player
to pull out, to which he replies,
"Why, am I sharp?"
The airplane Buddy Holly died
in was the "American Pie."
(Thus the name of the Don McLean
song.)
The band Duran Duran got their
name from an astronaut in
the 1968 Jane Fonda movie "Barbarella."
White Out was invented by the
mother of Mike Nesmith
(Formerly of the Monkees)
From: Max's Humor Archive on 07/15/97
A musician calls the symphony
office to talk to conductor --
is told he is dead -- calls
back 25 times -- same message from
receptionist -- receptionist
asks why he keeps calling -- "I
just like to hear you say it."
From: Max's Humor Archive on 07/15/97
A musician is surprised to see
Toscannini in heaven. Peter
tells him it's God, but he thinks
he's Toscannini.
From: Daemonic Funnies Page on 12/1/97
Writing about music is like
dancing about architecture.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #260 - Quickies!
on 98-07-18 (S77)
If Mama Cass had shared her
sandwich with Karen Carpenter
they'd both be alive today.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 1/4/2001
A man left his bagpipes in the
back seat with the window
rolled down. Realizing
his mistake after only a few blocks,
he hurried back - but it was
too late! Someone had ALREADY
left another set of bagpipes
next to the first...
How many lead-singers does it
take to change a light bulb?
Only one - she just holds the
bulb over her head, and
the universe revolves around
her!
What's the difference between
a snake and a trombone player,
both dead in the road?
The snake MIGHT have been on
it's way to a paying gig...
How do you know it's a drummer
who's at your door?
The knocking speeds up, and
slows down, and speeds up, and...
In the Amazon, why should you
only be afraid when the drums
STOP beating?
That means the guitar solo is
gonna start...
Did you hear about the bass-player
who locked himself out
of his convertible, with the
top down?
The drummer had to break a window
to get out...
Why do bagpipers walk as they
play?
To get away from the sound...
And from Trevor:
How does a folk band know when
the stage is level?
Cuz the accordion player is
drooling out of BOTH sides
of his mouth.
From: flovilla on 3/1/2001 (S224)
Most of us go to our grave with
our music still inside of us.
From: KMACINTY on 7/11/2001 (S232)
I don't usually pass on sad
news like this, but sometimes
we need to pause and remember
what life is all about.
There was a great loss recently
in the entertainment
world. Larry LaPrise, the Detroit
native who wrote the
song "Hokey Pokey" died last
week at 83. It was
especially difficult for the
family to keep him in the
casket. They'd put his
left leg in and.....well, you
know the rest.
From: RFSlick on 8/25/2001 (S239)
I discovered that I scream the
same way, whether I'm about
to be devoured by a great white,
or if a piece of seaweed
touches my foot. -- Axl
Rose
From: LABLaughs.com on 7/22/2002 (S286b)
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom
listens.
-- Jimi Hendrix
From: LABLaughs.com on 8/6/2002 (S288b)
Too many pieces of music finish
too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)
From: LABLaughs.com on 9/19/2002 (S294b)
Anything that is too stupid
to be spoken is sung.
-- Voltaire (1694-1778)
From: LABLaughs.com on 10/30/2002 (S300b)
I don't know anything about
music. In my line you
don't have to. -- Elvis
Presley (1935-1977)
From: LABLaughs.com on 11/21/2002 (S303b)
We do not sing because we are
happy,
we are happy because we sing.
-- William James
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 1/14/2003
(S311b)
You may be disappointed if you
fail, but you are doomed
if you don't try! -- Beverly
Sills
From: LABLaughs.com on 3/23/2006 (S379b)
"I do not like country music,
but I do not denigrate anyone
who does. For those people
that do like country music,
denigrate means put down.
-- Bob Newhart
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/1/2003 (S488b)
"I get to go to lots of overseas
places, like Canada."
-- Britney Spears
Two quotes from famed violinist, Jascha
Heifetz (S578b)
From: edapsmas on 2/6/2008
"No matter what side of an argument
you're on,
you always find some people
on your side that
wish you were on the other side."
"I occasionally play works by
contemporary composers
for two reasons. First
to discourage the composer
from writing any more and secondly
to remind myself
how much I appreciate Beethoven."
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Jimmy Hendrix from
Smiley_Central |