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Subj:     School Jokes - Supp3
                 (Includes 25 jokes and articles, 10 10654n,20,cf,wXT4a5b,16)

School Bus  from
Greenville Schools
Includes the following:  Pickles Comic Strip (S765)
.........................Substitute Teacher - Key And Peele - Comedy Sketch (S893)
.........................Unruly Class (S188)
.........................The Phenom Harriett Ball - Video (S944)
.........................Third Grade Gambler (S53)
.........................Thank A Teacher - Video (S876)
.........................How To Escape Education's Death Valley - Video (S857)
.........................Frazz Comic Strip (S1035)
.........................Rita Pierson: Every Kid Needs A Champion - Video (S852)
.........................Wright's Law: A Unique Teacher - Video (S842)
.........................Norman Rockwell's "Teacher's Birthday" (S837)
.........................Kindergartner Suspended From School (S840)
.........................Passing A Note In Class - Video (S741)
.........................Teacher Asks "What Do You Want To Be?" (S822)
.........................Salman Khan: Let's Use Video To Reinvent Education-Vid(S739)
.........................Selling Toothbrushs (S726)
.........................Diana Laufenberg: How To Learn? From Mistakes - Video (S739)
.........................Year 2060: Education Predictions - Video (S871)
.........................High-Stakes Testing (S273b, DU)
.........................Short School Jokes
..............................First Day Of School Cartoon (S867)
..............................Mallard Comic Strip (S682)
..............................Student Texting Sign (S859)
..............................Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S799)
..............................The Modern Schoolteacher By Plante (S782)
..............................Bart Simpson At The Chalkboard (S775)
..............................Herman Cartoon (S744)
..............................School Bus Hits A Bump - Video (S731)
..............................Jeff Parker Cartoons (S761)

============================================================Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S765)
          By Brian Crane on 9/9/2011
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2011/09/09
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Top
Subj:     Substitute Teacher - Key And Peele (S893d)
          Made by ComedyCentral.com
Photo from YouTube.com...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/Dd7FixvoKBw
 Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Key_%26_Peele

 Key and Peele is an American sketch comedy television
 show staring Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele.
 In this episode, a substitute teacher from the inner
 city refuses to be messed with while taking attendance.
 Click 'HERE' to see this silly, cute sketch which has
 been viewed 45,586,285 times on YouTube.com. 

Top
Subj:     Unruly Class (S188)

 While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board
 Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students
 were making in the next room.  Angrily, he opened the door
 and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing
 most of the talking.  He dragged the boy to the next room and
 stood him in the corner.

 A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room
 and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"

Top
Subj:     The Phenom Harriett Ball (S944d)
          Posted by educationforum
          From: Dancing Feathers on Facebook
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/R1UNvj3FJyo
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1562063466334

 Harriett Ball teaches her students the metric system
 through this thoroughly engaging rap song.  Harriett
 is the originator of Knowledge is Power and the
 nationally acclaimed KIPP schools.

 Click 'HERE' to see and listen to Harriett teach the metric system. 

Top
Subj:     Third Grade Gambler (S53)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98

 Miss Jones, an unusually attractive and voluptuous third
 grade teacher, was at her wits end.  She had a seemingly
 insoluble problem. Her student, Tommy Smith, was perpetually
 making bets and winning all the other kids lunch money and
 allowances.  She had tried everything to get him to stop
 betting.  Nothing worked.  Parents were complaining.  Her
 principal demanded results or else.  Tommy just kept making
 bets and winning. She was desperate.

 Finally, one day after she had tried yet another unsuccessful
 tactic, Tommy commented, "Tell you what Teach, if I ever lose
 a bet I'll stop for good."  Miss Jones thought about this and,
 very much not wanting to be defeated by this ten year old,
 saw a chance accomplish the needed behavior modification.

 "OK Tommy," Miss Jones said, "Its a deal.  What do you want to
 bet on?"  Tommy then offered to bet her ten dollars that the
 color of the hair on her head was a different color than the
 hair on her pussy.  Miss Jones spluttered and blushed, but
 knowing she had him beaten because she was a natural redhead
 everywhere, agreed to this unusual wager.

 Tommy refused to take her word that he had lost.  Miss Jones,
 being willing to do almost anything to get him to stop betting,
 took him into to coatroom for verification.  The young lecher
 got an eyefull.  "Now Tommy," Miss Jones said, "a deal is a
 deal and you lost. Are you going to keep your word and stop
 betting forever?"

 Tommy grinned at his teacher and replied, "Naw, I don't think
 so.  You see my daddy bet me $500.00 I'd never get to see
 your pussy."

Top
Subj:     Thank A Teacher (S876d)
          From: Wimp.com on 10/17/2013
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/thankteacher/
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/PaHJRLoCyWc
 Source3: http://www.takepart.com/waiting-for-superman

 In this video, many people describe the great teachers who
 have shape and changed their lives. Click 'HERE' to listen
 to these wonderful tributes to some special educators.

Top
Subj:     Ken Robinson: How To Escape Education's Death Valley
          From: Wimp.com on 6/6/2013 (S857d)
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=wX78iKhInsc?vq=large
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/escapevalley/

 Sir Ken Robinson outlines 3 principles crucial for the human
 mind to flourish -- and how current education culture works
 against them.  In a funny, stirring talk he tells us how to
 get out of the educational 'death valley' we now face, and
 how to nurture our youngest generations with a climate of
 possibility.  Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful witty
  TED Talks Education presentation.

Top
Subj:     Frazz Comic Strip (S1035)
          By Jef Mallett on 10/17/2016
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2016/10/17
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Top
Subj:.....Rita Pierson: Every Kid Needs A Champion
          From: Wimp.com on 5/8/2013 (S852d)
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/SFnMTHhKdkw
 Source2: http://www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_
..........needs_a_champion.html?qsha=1?utm_expid=166907-24

 Rita Pierson, a teacher for 40 years, once heard a colleague
 say, "They don't pay me to like the kids." Her response: "Kids
 don't learn from people they don't like." This video is a
 rousing call to educators to believe in their students and
 actually connect with them on a real, human, personal level.
 Click 'HERE' to hear this wonderful, motivational speaker
 talk about how to teach our children.

Top
Subj:     Wright's Law: A Unique Teacher 
.............Imparts Real Life Lessons (S842d)
          From: Mel's Video of the Day on 2/28/2013
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/9bSu_Snlbsw

 Jeffrey Wright uses wacky experiments to teach children about
 the universe, but it is his own personal story that teaches
 them the true meaning of life.  Click 'HERE' to learn about
 Physics, the Universe, and the real meaning of love, life,
 and family.

Top
Subj:     Norman Rockwell's "Teacher's Birthday"
          From: Saturday Evening Post
          on 1/25/2013 (S837d)
 Source1: http://www.flickriver.com/photos/x-ray_delta_one/4208186520/
 Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Rockwell

 Norman Percevel Rockwell (1894 - 1978) was a 20th-
century American painter and illustrator.
His works enjoy a broad popular appeal
in the United States for their reflection
of American culture.  Rockwell is most
famous for the cover illustrations of
everyday life scenarios he created for
The Saturday Evening Post magazine for
Drawing from All-Yours-Styling.com
 more than four decades.

 Norman Rockwell's "Teacher's Birthday" was the cover
 drawing on The Saturday Evening Post for March 17,1956.
 Click 'HERE' to see Miss Jones' surprise birthday party.

Top
Subj:     Kindergartner Suspended From School (S840)
          From: Bonehead Of The Day Award on 1/19/2013
 Source: http://dailyitem.com/0100_news/
.........x964877896/Bubbles-shooter-5-suspended

 MOUNT CARMEL - A 5-year-old kindergartner who told classmates
 she was going to shoot them, and then herself, with her pink
 bubble gun, was grilled for three hours by Mount Carmel school
 officials without her mother's knowledge, then suspended, a
 family attorney said.

 The alleged incident occurred Jan. 10, while the girl was
 waiting in a school bus line.  According to Robin Ficker, of
 Bethesda, Md., the parents' lawyer, the kindergartner was
 playing with two friends and spoke about her Hello Kitty
 Bubble Gun, which shoots bubbles.  Ficker said the girl
 mentioned that she was going to shoot one of her friends
 and then herself with the bubble gun, so that they could
 all be together. Then, she was going to shoot herself
 again when she got home.

 The girl was initially given a 10-day suspension.  Before
 being allowed to return to school, Ficker said, the girl
 had to undergo psychological testing from an independent
 practitioner.

Top
Subj:     Passing A Note In Class
          From: Wimp.com
          on 3/26/2011 (S741d in Love-Supp)
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/j5qB2O6N9RE
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/kidcaught/

 Kid gets caught passing a love note to a girl next
 to him in the classroom.  The teacher takes the note
 and reads the most beautiful love poem ever.  Click
 'HERE' for my copy, to see this beautiful, short story.

Top
Subj:     Teacher Asks "What Do You Want To Be?" (S822)
          From: jcary on 10/9/2012

 3rd grade teacher Miss Prissy was asking her students what
 they wanted to be when they grow up.

 It was Little Johnny's turn.

 Johnny: I wanna be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs.
 Find a bitch there, buy her a million dollar apartment in
 Vegas.  Get her a Ferrari.  Buy her a beach house in Miami,
 a jet to fly with,  get her expensive jewelry and bang her
 3 times a day.

 The teacher was at a loss for words and didn't know what to
 do.  She just proceeded along and asked Suzy what she wanted
 to be.

 Suzy replied: "Without a doubt ma'am, I'd wanna be Johnny's
 bitch!!"

Top
Subj:     Salman Khan: Let's Use Video
.............To Reinvent Education (S739d)
          From: Wimp.com on 2/3/2011
 Source1: http://www.ted.com/talks/salman_khan_
..........let_s_use_video_to_reinvent_education.html
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/reinventeducation/

 Salman Khan talks about how and why he created the
 remarkable Khan Academy, a carefully structured series
 of educational videos offering complete curricula in
 math and, now, other subjects.  He shows the power of
 interactive exercises, and calls for teachers to consider
 flipping the traditional classroom script -- give
 students video lectures to watch at home, and do "homework"
 in the classroom with the teacher available to help.

 Click 'HERE' to see the wonderful alternative to the
 traditional education presented at the TED conference in 2011.

Top
Subj:     Selling Toothbrushs (S726)
          From: ezines@arcamax.com on 12/11/2010

 The kids filed back into class Monday morning.  They were
 very excited.  Their weekend assignment was to sell some-
 thing, then share with the class how they were successful.

 Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made
 $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal
 to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach
 for my success."

 "Very good," said the teacher.

 Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I
 made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would
 keep them abreast of current events."

 "Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

 Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.  The teacher held
 her breath.  Little Johnny walked to the front of the class-
 room and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.
 "$2,467" he said.

 "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you
 selling?"

 "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

 "Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly
 sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

 "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny,
 "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody
 who walked by a free sample.

 They all said, "This tastes like MUD!"  Then I replied, "It
 is.  Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

Top
Subj:     Diana Laufenberg: How To Learn?
.............From Mistakes (S739d)
          From: Wimp.com on 3/8/2011
 Source1: http://www.ted.com/talks/diana_laufenberg_3_ways_to_teach.html
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/learnmistakes/

 Diana Laufenberg shares 3 surprising things she has
 learned about teaching -- including a key insight
 about learning from mistakes.  Click 'HERE' to see
 this educational TED video.

Top
Subj:     Year 2060: Education Predictions (S871d)
          Speech by Sal Khan
          From: KhanAcademy.org on 8/27/2013
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/CiKrFcgVSIU
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/educationpredictions/
 Source3: http://www.khanacademy.org/talks-and-interviews/our-
..........vision/v/year-2060--education-predictions?v=CiKrFcgVSIU

 In this video, Sal Khan, the inventor of Khan Academy,
 makes some predictions for education by the year 2060.
 Click on 'HERE' to see Sal's vision of the future for
 learning and schools. 

Top
Subj:     High-Stakes Testing (S273b, DU)
          From: morinhome on 4/20/2002

 Long ...but worth reading it anyway.

 My dentist is great!  He sends me reminders so I don't forget
 checkups.  He uses the latest techniques based on research.
 He never hurts me, and I've got all my teeth, so when I ran
 into him the other day, I was eager to see if he'd heard
 about the new state program.  I knew he'd think it was great.

 "Did you hear about the new state program to measure the
 effectiveness of dentists with their young patients?" I said.

 "No," he said.  He didn't seem too thrilled.  "How will they
 do that?"

 "It's quite simple," I said.  "They will just count the
 number of cavities each patient has at age 10, 14, and 18
 and average that to determine a dentist's rating.  Dentists
 will be rated as Excellent, Good, Average, Below Average,
 and unsatisfactory.  That way parents will know which are
 the best dentists.  It will also encourage the less
 effective dentists to get better," I said.  "Poor dentists
 who don't improve could lose their licenses to practice in
 our State."

 "That's terrible," he said.

 "What?  That's not a good attitude," I said.  "Don't you
 think we should try to improve children's dental health
 in this state?"

 "Sure I do," he said, "but that's not a fair way to
 determine who is practicing good dentistry."

 "Why not?" I said. "It makes perfect sense to me."

 "Well, it's so obvious," he said.  "Don't you see that
 dentists don't all work with the same clientele; so much
 depends on things we can't control?  "For example," he
 said, "I work in a rural area with a high percentage of
 patients from deprived homes, while some of my colleagues
 work in upper-middle-class neighborhoods.  Many of the
 parents I work with don't bring their children to see me
 until there is some kind of problem and I don't get to do
 much preventative work.  "Also," he said, "many of the
 parents I serve let their kids eat way too much candy
 from a young age, unlike more educated parents who under-
 stand the relationship between sugar and decay.

 "To top it all off," he added, "so many of my clients
 have well water which is untreated and has no fluoride
 in it.  Do you have any idea how much difference early
 use of fluoride can make?"

 "It sounds like you're making excuses," I said.  I could
 not believe my dentist would be so defensive.  He does a
 great job.

 "I am not!" he said.  "My best patients are as good as
 anyone's, my work is as good as anyone's, but my average
 cavity count is going to be higher than a lot of other
 dentists because I chose to work where I am needed most."

 "Don't get touchy," I said.

 "Touchy?" he said.  His face had turned red, and from the
 way he was clenching and unclenching his jaws, I was
 afraid he was going to damage his teeth.  "Try furious.
 In a system like this, I will end up being rated average,
 below average or worse."

 "My more educated patients who see these ratings may
 believe this so-called rating actually is a measure of my
 ability and proficiency as a dentist.  They may leave me,
 and I'll be left with only the neediest patients.  And my
 cavity average score will get even worse.

 "On top of that, how will I attract good dental hygienists
 and other excellent dentists to my practice if it is
 labeled below average?"

 "I think you're overreacting," I said.  "'Complaining,
 excuse making, and stonewalling won't improve dental
 health.'  I am quoting that from a leading member of the
 DOC," I noted.

 "What's the DOC?" he said.

 "It's the Dental Oversight Committee," I said, "a group
 made up of mostly lay persons to make sure dentistry in
 this state gets  improved."

 "Spare me," he said. "I can't believe this.  Reasonable
 people won't buy it," he said hopefully.

 The program sounded reasonable to me, so I asked, "How
 else would you measure good dentistry?"

 "Come watch me work," he said. "Observe my processes."

 "That's too complicated and time-consuming," I said.
 "Cavities are the bottom line and you can't argue with
 the bottom line.  It's an absolute measure."

 "That's what I'm afraid my patients and prospective
 patients will think.  This can't be happening," he said
 despairingly.

 "Now, now," I said, "don't despair.  The state will help
 you some."

 "How?" he said.

 "If you're rated poorly, they'll send a dentist who is
 rated excellent to help straighten you out," I said
 brightly.

 "You mean," he said, "they will send a dentist with a
 wealthy clientele to show me how to work on severe
 juvenile dental problems with which I have probably had
 much more experience? Big help."

 "There you go again," I said. "You aren't acting
 professionally at all."

 "You don't get it," he said. "Doing this would be like
 grading schools and teachers on an average score on a
 test of children's progress without regard to influences
 outside the school, the home, the community served, and
 stuff like that.  Why would they do something so unfair
 to dentists?  No one would ever think of doing that to
 schools."

 I just shook my head sadly, but he had brightened.

 I'm going to write my representatives and senator," he
 said. "I'll use the school analogy, surely they'll see
 my point."

 He walked off with that look of hope mixed with fear and
 suppressed anger that I see in the mirror so often lately.
 


Subj:     Short School Jokes

Top
Subj:     First Day Of School Cartoon (S867d)
          Editorial Cartoon by Adam Zyglis,
          in The Buffalo News on August 30, 2009
          (in College-Supp)
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Drawing from Cagle.com...
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 Source: http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoon/display.cfm/75005/
 Click 'HERE' to see this all too real cartoon by Adam Zyglis.
 

Top
Subj:     Mallard Comic Strip (S682)
          By Bruce Tinsley on 7/17/2013
 Source: http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Mallard_Fillmore/
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 Click 
 to see another Mallard comic strip about this Maryland school.
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Top
Subj:     Student Texting Sign (S859d)
..........From: virv on 6/24/2013
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Source: http://www.etsy.com/listing/1101297
.98/dear-students-i-know-when-youre-texting
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 Click 'HERE' to see this sign enlarged.
 Or click on the source to buy this Wooden sign for $18.00.
 

Top
Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S799)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 2/19/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2012/02/19
 Click 'HERE' to see Shoe discuss helping your children
 with their homework.
 

Top
Subj:     The Modern Schoolteacher By Plante (S782)
          By Bruce Plante
          From: Jim Farris on 1/5/2012
Drawing from ClipArtPal.com
 Source: http://nieonline.com/cftc/pdfs/eval.pdf
 Click 'HERE' to see cute and very real cartoon by Bruce Plante.
 This drawing is part of Cartoons for the Classroom.
 

Top
Subj:     Bart Simpson At The Chalkboard (S775)
          From: Yuji  Linda Zoo World Promo/Gifting
          On Facebook on 11/19/2011 (in Cartoon-Supp)
 Click 'HERE' to see these nine drawings of cute things
 Bart Simpson has had to write on the chalkboard in school.

 You can read all eighty-seven things Bart has ever had to
 write on the chalkboard as punishment at the following:
 http://evild.blogspot.com/2005/04/bart-simpsons-chalkboard-sentences.html
 

Top
Subj:     Herman Cartoon (S744)
          By Jim Unger on 4/16/2011
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2011/04/16
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Top
Subj:     School Bus Hits A Bump (S731d)
          From: LOLByte on 1/16/2010
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/RhqffnmRgQM
 One of my friends was on the bus... there was a huge
 bump so she sat on the seat and leaned forward hoping
 to fly over a few seats.  Click 'HERE' to see this
 cute, funny, very short video.
 

Top
Subj:     Jeff Parker Cartoons (S761)
          From: Cage.com.com on 8/15/2011
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Drawing from Jeff Parker Toons
 Source: http://www.cagle.com/politicalcartoons/PCcartoons/parker.asp
 Click 'HERE' to view there two great cartoons about school.
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...........................From Gif And Gif
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