(Includes 58 jokes and articles)
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| Subj:
Science2 Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 58 jokes and articles) |
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Radiometer from AGAG Animation Gallery |
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| Subj:
Anti-Helium (S549)
From: tnkr on 7/24/2007 Picture
from ScienceBlogs
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Sulfur hexafluoride (I'm in ur lungs, slowin down ur sounds)
When I first heard of sulfur
hexafluoride I thought it had
to be kind of nasty - it is
a sulfur (VI) compound with a
bunch of halogens attached (it
looks if you added some water,
you'd end up with dangerous
HF and H2SO4!). However, like so
many fluorous compounds, it
is surprisingly lackadaisical;
the stuff is a nontoxic, inert
rock (the related SF5Cl, S2F10,
and SF4 are all nasties and
will totally throw some sulfrous-
fluorous death your way).
What's more important, though,
is that it's really dense.
Plus - not only is it safe,
it's safe enough to breathe! And
if you breathe it you sound
like a kid playing with a voice
changer. Watch Jay Leno
discover anti-helium on his TV
show at the source above, or
on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Dangers
Of Plastics In Microwave Cooking (S286)
From: RFSlick on 7/11/2002
As a seventh grade student, Claire
Nelson learned that
di(ethylhexyl)adepate (DEHA),
considered a carcinogen, is
found in plastic wrap.
She also learned that the FDA had
never studied the effect of
microwave cooking on plastic-
wrapped food. Claire began to
wonder: "Can cancer-causing
particles seep into food covered
with household plastic
wrap while it is being micro
waved?"
Three years later, with encouragement
from her high school
science teacher, Claire set
out to test what the FDA had
not. Although she had
an idea for studying the effect of
microwave radiation on plastic-wrapped
food, she did not
have the equipment. Eventually,
Jon Wilkes at the National
Center for Toxicological Research
in Jefferson, Arkansas,
agreed to help her. The
research center, which is affiliated
with the FDA, let her use its
facilities to perform her
experiments, which involved
micro waving plastic wrap in
virgin olive oil. Claire tested
four different plastic
wraps and "found not just the
carcinogens but also
xenoestrogen was migrating into
the oil". Xenoestrogens
are linked to low sperm counts
in men and to breast
cancer in women.
Throughout her junior and senior
years, Claire made a
couple of trips each week to
the research center, which
was 25 miles from her home,
to work on her experiment.
An article in Options reported
that "her analysis found
that DEHA was migrating into
the oil at between 200 parts
and 500 parts per million.
The FDA standard is 0.05
parts per billion." Her
summarized results have been
published in science journals.
Claire Nelson received
the American Chemical Society's
top science prize for
students during her junior year
and fourth place at the
International Science and Engineering
Fair (Fort Worth,
Texas) as a senior. "Carcinogens
-- At 10,000,000 Times
FDA Limits" Options May 2000.
Published by People Against
Cancer, 515-972-4444.
On Channel 2 (Huntsville, AL)
this morning they had a Dr.
Edward Fujimoto from Castle
Hospital on the program. He
is the manager of the Wellness
Program at the hospital.
He was talking about dioxins
and how bad they are for us.
He said that we should not be
heating our food in the
microwave using plastic containers.
This applies to foods
that contain fat.
He said that the combination
of fat, high heat and plastics
releases dioxins into the food
and ultimately into the
cells of the body. Dioxins
are carcinogens and highly
toxic to the cells of our bodies.
Instead, he recommends
using glass, Corning Ware, or
ceramic containers for
heating food. You get
the same results without the
dioxins. So such things
as TV dinners, instant ramin and
soups, etc., should be removed
from the container and
heated in something else. Paper
isn't bad but you don't
know what is in the paper.
Just safer to use tempered
glass, Corning Ware, etc.
He said we might remember when
some of the fast food restaurants
moved away from the
foam containers to paper. The
dioxin problem is one of the
reasons.
Pass this on to your friends....
To add to this: Saran
wrap placed over foods as they
are nuked, with the high
heat, actually drips poisonous
toxins into the food. Use
paper towel instead.
Subj: Plastics
In Microwave Urban Legend (S287)
Subj: RE:
Dangers Of Plastics In Microwave Cooking
From: Cypriot on 7/28/2002
(See 'The
Ultimate Urban Legend' in STORIES)
If you're going to lead off each
broadcast with an Urban
Legend, could you at least provide
a link to the Snopes
urban legend site?
Check this for more information
on the microwaved plastic:
http://www.snopes.com/toxins/plastic.htm
Mike, thank you for correcting
me. It's always embarrassing
to fall for another Urban Legend.
I appreciate it when the readers
correct my mistakes. If
I pusblish it wrong, I need
correct my errors as soon as
possible.
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Subj: Dating
Dinosaur Bones (S236)
From: www.jokecenter.com on 08/06/01
Some tourists in the Chicago
Museum of Natural History are
marveling at the dinosaur bones.
One of them asks the guard,
"Can you tell me how old the
dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are
3 million, four years, and six
months old."
"That's an awfully exact number,"
says the tourist. "How do
you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the
dinosaur bones were three
million years old when I started
working here, and that was
four and a half years ago."
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Subj: Archeologists
f/Three Countries Dig (S235, DU)
From: drribeiro on 7/31/2001
German scientists dug 50 meters
underground and discovered
small pieces of copper.
After studying these pieces for a
long time, Germany announced
that the ancient Germans 25,000
years ago had a nation-wide
telephone network.
Naturally, the British government
was not that easily
impressed. They ordered
their own scientists to dig even
deeper. 100 meters down,
they found small pieces of glass
and they soon announced that
the ancient Brits 35,000 years
ago already had a nation-wide
fiber network.
Irish scientists were outraged.
They dug 200 meters under-
ground, but found absolutely
nothing. They concluded that
the ancient Irish 55,000 years
ago had cellular telephones.
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Subj: Science
Explained By Children (S146)
From: Anaise on 11/19/1999
(See 'Final Exams
-- From Children' Thoughts-Kids
and '35
Truths Learned From Kids' in Thoughts-Kids)
and 'Baby Quiz' in Kids3
and 'Bible Fun' in Kids3)
Genetics explain why you look
like your father and if you
don't why you should.
Vacuums are nothings. We only
mention them to let them know
we know they're there.
Some oxygen molecules help fires
burn while others help make
water, so sometimes it's brother
against brother.
We say the cause of perfume disappearing
is evaporation.
Evaporation gets blamed for
a lot of things people forget to
put the top on.
To most people solutions mean
finding the answers. But to
chemists solutions are things
that are still all mixed up.
In looking at a drop of water
under a microscope, we find
there are twice as many H's
as O's.
Clouds are high flying fogs.
I am not sure how clouds get
formed. But the clouds know how
to do it, and that is the important
thing.
Clouds just keep circling the
earth around and around. And
around. There is not much
else to do.
Water vapor gets together in
a cloud. When it is big enough
to be called a drop, it does.
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
We keep track of the humidity
in the air so we won't drown
when we breathe.
Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
Question: What is one horsepower?
Answer: One horsepower is the
amount of energy it takes to
drag a horse 500 feet in one-second.
You can listen to thunder after
lightning and tell how close you
came to getting hit. If
you don't hear it you got hit, so never
mind.
A vibration is a motion that
cannot make up its mind which way
it wants to go.
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Subj:
The Planets In Perspective (S494c)
From: drgolfmd on 7/11/2006 . |
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Subj: Science
Quotations And Others
(Also see 'Math Quotes' and 'Einstein
Quotes' in MATH5)
"The must incomprehensible thing
about the universe is
that it is comprehensible."
-- Albert Einstein
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/23/2002 (S282b)
"I do not feel obliged to believe
that the same God who has
endowed us with sense, reason,
and intellect has intended
us to forego their use." --
Galileo Galilei
"Nothing is too wonderful to
be true if it be consistent
with the laws of nature."
-- Michael Faraday
It is through science that we
prove, but through intuition
that we discover. -- Henri
Poincare
In every work of genius we recognize
our own rejected
thoughts; they come back to
us with a certain alienated
majesty. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Accept your genius and say what you think. -- Emerson
Who never walks save where he
sees men's tracks makes no
discoveries. -- J.G. Holland
That is the essence of science:
Ask an impertinent question,
and you are on the way to a
pertinent answer.
-- Bronowski,Jacob (1908-1974),
Ascent of man (1973) ch.4.
A new scientific truth does not
triumph by convincing its
opponents and making them see
the light, but rather because
its opponents eventually die
and a new generation grows up
that is familiar with it.
-- Max Planck
From: LABLaughs.com on 7/25/2002 (S286b)
The opposite of a correct statement
is a false statement.
The opposite of a profound truth
may well be another
profound truth. -- Niels
Bohr (1885-1962)
An important scientific innovation
rarely makes its way by
gradually winning over and converting
its opponents: it
rarely happens that Saul becomes
Paul. What does happen
is that its opponents gradually
die out and that the growing
generation is familiarized with
the idea from the beginning.
-- Max Planck "The Philosophy
of Physics" (1936)
As I look back upon my education
in chemistry and physics,
I see that each year I learned
that the stuff I learned the
previous year was either a special
case of a more general
theory, an approximation, or,
on occasion, an outright lie!
Nonetheless, I needed those
lower order approximations to
be able to make sense of more
general and conceptually more
difficult formulations.
-- Don A. Berkowitz
If scientific reasoning were
limited to the logical
processes of arithmetic, we
should not get very far in our
understanding of the physical
world. One might as well
attempt to grasp the game of
poker entirely by the use of
the mathematics of probability.
-- Vannevar Bush
One could not be a successful
scientist without realizing
that, in contrast to the popular
conception supported by
newspapers and mothers of scientists,
a goodly number of
scientists are not only narrow-minded
and dull, but also
just stupid. -- J. D.
Watson _The Double Helix_
The ability to reduce everything
to simple fundamental
laws does not imply the ability
to start from those laws
and reconstruct the universe.
-- Philip W. Anderson
"More Is Different" Science
magazine (1972)
At each stage [of the hierarchical
structure of reality]
entirely new laws, concepts
and generalizations are
necessary, requiring inspiration
and creativity to just
as great a degree as in the
previous one.... Psychology
is not applied biology, nor
is biology applied chemistry.
-- Philip W. Anderson
"More Is Different"
Science magazine (1972)
'There is no truth beyond magic'
... reality is strange.
Many people think reality is
prosaic. I don't. We don't
explain things away in science.
We get closer to the mystery.
-- Brian Goodwin quoted
by Roger Lewin in "Complexity" (1992)
Science is an integral part of
culture. It's not this
foreign thing, done by an arcane
priesthood. It's one of
the glories of human intellectual
tradition.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
The pop artist Andy Warhol once
approached me at a party
and told me that he collected
scientific journals, but he
couldn't understand them.
He drifted away, then came back
and said, "Do you mind if I
ask you a question?" "Of
course not," I replied.
He asked, "why does science take
so long?" I said, "Mr.
Warhol, when you do a picture of
Marilyn Monroe, does it have
to be exactly like her, as
close to being her as you can
make it?" He said, "Oh no.
And anyhow, I have this place
called the Factory where my
helpers do it." I said,
"Well, in science it has to be
exact, as exact as you can make
it." He looked at me with
limp sympathy and said, "Isn't
that terrible?"
-- Gerald M. Edelman
_Bright Air, Brilliant Fire_ (1992)
We live in a society exquisitely
dependent on science and
technology, in which hardly
anyone knows anything about
science and technology.
-- Carl Sagan
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 5/5/2002 (S275c)
"But the fact that some geniuses
were laughed at does not
imply that all who are laughed
at are geniuses. They
laughed at Columbus, they laughed
at Fulton, they laughed
at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo
the Clown." -- Carl Sagan
"The only possible conclusion
the social sciences can draw
is: some do, some don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford
Everything of importance has
been said before by somebody
who did not discover it.
-- Alfred North Whitehead
Why think? Why not try
the experiment?
-- John Hunter (letter
to Edward Jenner)
The universe is not only queerer
than we imagine,
It's queerer than we *can* imagine.
-- J.B.S. Haldane
"Bodies in motion tend to remain
in motion. Bodies at rest
tend to remain in bed."
-- Dave Tewksbury
NOTEBOOK OF LAZARUS LONG (Robert
A. Heinlein)
Always listen to experts.
They'll tell you what can't be
done and why. Then
do it.
If it can't be expressed in
figures, it is not science; it
is opinion.
Most 'scientists' are bottle washers and
button sorters.
The truth of a proposition has
nothing to do with its
credibility.
And vice versa.
Never underestimate the power
of human stupidity.
The difference between science
and the fuzzy subjects is
that science requires
reasoning, while those other
subjects require
merely scholarship.
Expertise in one field does
not carry over into other
fields. But
experts often think so. The narrower their
field of knowledge
the more likely they are to think so.
Natural laws have no pity.
Climate is what we expect.
Weather is what we get.
A committee is a life form with
six or more legs and no
brain.
"If there is a opinion, facts
will be found to support
it." -- Judy Sproles.
"Rich folks get more strokes." -- Greg Beil.
"If A = B and B = C, then A =
C except where void or
prohibited by law". --
Roy Santoro.
"Anything that happens enough
times to irritate you will
happen at least once more."
-- Tom Parkins
Another time his classmates covered
an entire desktop
with infamous nitrogren tri-iodide,
an unstable compound
made from ammonia and iodine
that explodes when touched,
leaving purple stains.
They detonated it by throwing a
paper airplane, blowing the
top off the desk.
A man with a new idea is a crank until
he succeeds. -- Mark Twain
From: Daemonic Funnies Page on 12/1/97
We should be careful to get
out of an experience only the
wisdom that is in it - and stop
there; lest we be like
the cat that sits down on a
hot stove-lid. She will
never sit down on a hot stove-lid
again, and that is well;
but also she will never sit
down on a cold one anymore.
-- Mark Twain
For more Twain quotes see 'Twain
on Government' in POLITICAL2.
"DeepThoughts" by Jack Handey,
from Saturday Night Live
From: humorlist-digest V2 #18
on 98-01-20
For mad scientists who keep
brains in jars, here's a tip:
why not add a slice of lemon
to each jar, for freshness?
From: RFSlick on 98-04-30
Why do scientists call it research
when looking for
something new?
From: auntieg 98-05-09
The microwave was invented after
a researcher walked
by a radar tube and a chocolate
bar melted in his pocket.
From: FrankRoesc on 7/20/99
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the
scissors.
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/14/2002 (S272c)
"Research is what I'm doing
when I don't know what I'm
doing." -- Wernher Von
Braun (1912-1977)
Subj: Thomas
Edison Quotes
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/17/2002 (S272c)
"I have not failed. I've just
found 10,000 ways that
won't work." -- Thomas
Alva Edison (1847-1931)
From: LABLaughs.com on 8/19/2003 (S344b)
Genius is one per cent inspiration
and ninety-nine percent
perspiration. -- Thomas
Alva Edison
From: the file Quotes1
Anything that won't sell, I
don't want to invent.
Its sale is proof of utility
and utility is success.
-- Thomas Edison
From: igiggle on 1/2/2004 (S363b)
At the site http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features
............/Columns/Default.aspx?Article=accidentalinventions
"Genius? Nothing! Sticking to
it is the genius! ...
I've failed my way to success."
-- Thomas Edison
From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 8/4/2006
(S497b)
"If we did all the things that
we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound
ourselves." -- Thomas Edison
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 4/25/2002
(S273c)
The most exciting phrase to
hear in science, the one that
heralds new discoveries, is
not "Eureka!" (I found it!)
but "That's funny." --
Isaac Asimov
From: LABLaughs.com on 5/5/2002 (S275c)
"Life is pleasant. Death is
peaceful. It's the transition
that's troublesome."
-- Isaac Asimov
From: LABLaughs.com on 7/6/2002 (S284b)
Copy from one, it's plagiarism;
copy from two, it's
research. -- Wilson Mizner
(1876-1933)
From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on
11/2/2005 (S458b)
"Magnetism is one of the Six
Fundamental Forces of the
Universe, with the other five
being Gravity, Duct Tape,
Whining, Remote Control, and
The Force That Pulls Dogs
Toward The Groins Of Strangers."
-- Dave Barry
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/19/2007 (S544b)
A study shows that men are hit
by lightning four times
as often as women, usually after
saying, "I'll call you."
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| Subj:
Fire Rainbow (S544)
From: darrell94590 on 6/18/2007 . |
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Smiley in a jar from
GIFs Rubrik:Neon Smiley |