..........(Includes 30 jokes, 08 1134,7,cf,wT3a8b,3)
Greek flag from
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Aeschylus'
FACTS4 file - 'Cigarette Saboteur'
FOOD-SUPP2 - 'Garfield Comic Strip'
HOOKER file - 'Barmail Does Sex For Money'
ITALIAN file - 'Greek And Italian Brag'
LAWYER2 file - 'Lawyer, Doctor, and Diogenes'
SLOGAN-PROVRB- 'Greek Proverb'
WORD_JOKS-SUP- 'Pearls Before Swine'
Subj: Greek island Of Skiathos' Airport
From: Trending Hot in 2016 (S992d-iFrame)
.....Click 'HERE' to see the Greek island of Skiathos' airport.
Diogenes Of Sinope
in 2010 (S722d-iFrame)
Drawing from Harry's Greece Travel Guide
A short video detailing the life
of the cynic philosopher
Diogenes of Sinope. Click 'HERE' to see this great video.
Subj: Socrates' Triple Filter Test
From: jbcary1 in 2007 (S372, S548c)
Keep this in mind the next time
you either hear or are about
to repeat a rumor!
In ancient Greece (469 - 399
BC), Socrates was well known
for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an
acquaintance who said excitedly, "Socrates, do you know what
I just heard about one of our students?"
Wait a moment," Socrates replied.
"Before telling me anything
I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple
"That's right," Socrates continued
"Before you talk to me
about my student, it might be a good idea to take a moment
and filter what you're going to say.. The first filter is
Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about
to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and ..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So
you don't really know if it's
true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of
Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student
"No, on the contrary ...."
"So," Socrates continued, "you
want to tell me something bad
about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still
pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the
filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my
student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if
what you want to tell me is
neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at
This is the reason Socrates was
a great philosopher and held
in such high esteem.
It also explains why he never
found out that Plato was
banging his wife.
Subj: Frank And Ernest Comic Strip
By Bob Thaves in 2008 (DU)
Subj: Woman In Bar Likes It 'Greek Style'
From: Bawdy.Net in 1999 (S122)
A man goes into a little neighborhood
pub, and when he sits
down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end
of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she
winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on
the stool next to her.
They talk for about fifteen minutes
and then the man says
to the woman, "You're really hot!" "You're pretty cute,
too," she says to him. "I'll tell you what. I live just
around the corner. What do you think about coming up to
"It sounds great!" the man eagerly replies.
"Before we go up there, though,"
the woman says, "I have
to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?"
"Well...uh...I'm not exactly
sure what that is," the man
answers, "but it sure sounds interesting and I'm willing
to learn! Let's go!"
So the two of them walk over
to her apartment. As soon as
they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her
clothes. The man can't believe his eyes. The woman has
an incredibly beautiful body. "Now, you're *sure*," the
woman asks, "that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Definitely!" the man replies.
"All right, then," says the woman.
"Take off all your
clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees."
"Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims.
He leaps out of his
clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees.
The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front
of the man. She kneels down in front of his head. She
asks him again, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek
"Yeah! Yeah!" says the man.
The woman grabs the man with
her arms right under his
armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can't move at all,
and his head is pressing right into her chest.
One more time she says, "Are
you sure that you want to do
it Greek style?"
The man's muffled voice can barely
be heard from between
her breasts. "Yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"
The woman's grip on him tightens
like a vice, and she yells
Subj: The Waterfall And A Heraclitus Quote
From: Caroline Newton in 2012 (S816)
|| "Everything flows
and nothing abides,
everything gives way
nothing stays fixed."
This famous aphorism used to
characterize Heraclitus' thought
comes from Simplicius (490-560) of Cilicia, a disciple of
Ammonius Hermiae and Damascius. Simplicius coined the phrase
"everything flows", to characterize the concept in the philosophy
Subj: Mom Warns Daughter About Marrying Greeks
From: BennoRo in 2001 (S241)
This very young and innocent
country girl fell madly in
love with this Greek guy and was determined to marry him.
Her mother tried hard to stop her, but when she knew she
couldn't stop her daughter, she said to her, "Listen child,
marry him and may you live happily ever after. But the day
or night he asks you in bed to turn over, you come back to
me, for he has lost respect for you."
The daughter agrees to this and
the wedding takes place.
Couple of years go by and they are one happy couple. Then
one night, when they are about to make love, the guy tells
her, "Turn over honey, let's do it the other way."
The girl is very unhappy. She
is crying and begins to pack
The husband doesn't understand and asks, "What's wrong, hon?"
"My mom told me all about you
guys. You have lost respect
for me, so you want me to turn over. I can't live with you
when you have no respect for me."
But honey," replied the Greek,
"I thought you wanted to
have a baby."
Frank And Ernest Comic Strip II
By Bob Thaves (S682)
in 2010 (in Comp-Supp2)
Subj: Irish, Jew And Greek Make A Deal w/St. Peter (S03)
An Irishman, Jew, and a Greek
are standing at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter walks up and says "Guys it's been a real
bad day, I'm beat and just want to take a break. Tell you
what. If you each agree to give up your favorite vise,
I'll send you all back."
The three guys agree. The
Irishman gives up drink, the
Jew money, the Greek sex. In a flash they're back on the
street outside a bar. The Jew and the Greek decide to go
in and have a drink to their good fortune. As usual one
drink leads to another etc. etc. The Irishman decides to
go in and join his friends. As the hours pass poor old
Patty gets thirstier and thirstier. "What the hell " says
Patty, "St Peter is probably asleep by now, one drink
can't hurt". He orders a drink and downs in. In a flash
Patty is gone.
The Jew and the Greek leave the
bar and are walking down
the street both feeling terrible about what happened. As
they're walking the Jew sees a twenty dollar bill on the
sidewalk ahead of them. He steps forward and bends over
to pick up the bill. In a flash the Greek is gone.
Subj: Here's Looking At Euclid - Brevity Cartoons
by Dan Thompson (S1134)
From: Jim Simonsen in 2018
Lucille Ball Greek Dances
From: Greek Gateway
..........in 2017 (S1058d-On Site)
TO: Trojan Army Listserv and Trojans-L@troy.org >
RE: WARNING!! BEWARE GREEKS BEARING GIFTS!
This was forwarded to me by Cassandra--it
Please distribute to Priam, Hecuba, and your 99 siblings.
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE
SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE
DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! It is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and
will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY!
The "gift" is disguised as a
large wooden horse about two
stories tall. It tends to show up outside the city gates
and appears to be abandoned. DO NOT let it through the
gates! It contains hardware that is incompatible with
Trojan programming, including a crowd of heavily armed
Greek warriors that will destroy your army, sack your town,
and kill your women and children. If you have already
received such a gift, DO NOT OPEN IT! Take it back out of
the city unopened and set fire to it by the beach.
FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
RE: Greeks bearing gifts
I hate to break to you, but this
is one of the oldest
hoaxes there is. I've seen variants on this warning
come through on other listservs, one involving some kind
of fruit that was supposed to kill the people who ate it
and one having to do with something called the "Midas
Touch." Here are a few tipoffs that this is a hoax:
1) This "Forward this message
to everyone you know" crap.
If it were really meant as a warning about the Greek army,
why tell anyone to post it to the Phoenicians, Sumerians,
2) Use of exclamation points. Always a giveaway.
3) It's signed "from Poseidon."
Granted he's had his
problems with Odysseus but he's one of their guys, isn't
he? Besides, the lack of a real header with a detailed
address makes me suspicious.
4) Technically speaking, there
is no way for a horse to
overwrite your entire city. A horse is just an animal,
Next time you get a message like
this, just delete it. I
appreciate your concern, but once you've been around the
block a couple times you'll realize how annoying this
kind of stuff is.
Subj: Ancient Greek Tore His Pants (S1121)
From: Lloyd Stiewig in 2018
Subj: Short Greek Jokes
From: igiggle in 2005 (S458b)
Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools
talk because they have to say something. -- Plato
I have hardly ever known a mathematician
of reasoning. -- Plato (in Quotes1)
From: Math5 file
I have hardly ever known a mathematician capable of
reasoning. -- Plato
From: Anonymous Jr. in 2008 (S632b)
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate
in politics is that you end up being governed by
your inferiors." -- Plato
From: Imogenelumen in 2004 (S366)
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
From: LABLaughsClean in 2007 (S556b)
The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the
world is to be in reality what we would appear to be.
From: icohen in 1998
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
From: Ruby Lou on Facebook on 5/30/2010 (S698b)
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it.
From: LABLaughsClean in 2007 (S527b)
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We
do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence,
but rather, we have those because we have acted rightly.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an
act, but a habit. -- Aristotle
From: Math5 file
"The whole is more than the sum of the parts."
-- Aristotle (384-322 BC)
From: rfslick in 2009 (S630, S839)
So what have we learned in two millennia?
"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be
refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance
of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and
the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed
lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn
to work, instead of living on public assistance."
-- Cicero - 55 BC
From: LABLaughsClean in 2008 (S596b)
"Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself."
From: LABLaughsClean in 2008 (S596b)
"Make the best use of what is in your power and
take the rest as it happens." -- Epictetus
From: LABLaughsClean in 2008 (S601b)
"It is a good thing to be rich, it is a good thing to
be strong, but it is a better thing to be beloved of
many friends." -- Euripides
From: LABLaughsClean in 2008 (S670b)
"There is just one life for each of us: our own."
Q: What do you get when you cross
a 6 yr old Japanese girl
with a 6 yr old Greek boy?
A: A Japanese girl with a 2 inch asshole.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #260 - Quickies!
Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neckchains?
A: So they know when to stop shaving.
From: jcary in 1999
Q: How do Greeks separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
From: Tom_Adams in 1999
Q: What do you call a Greek girl who keeps running away from home?
A: A virgin.
From: dogbyte in 2002 (S262)
Q: Why couldn't the Greek boy run away from home?
A: He couldn't leave his brothers behind!
From: Anonymous Junior in 2004 (S403b)
Q: What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets
on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.