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Subj: Native American-Indian Jokes
          (Includes 45 jokes and articles, 16913,13,cf.md4b,10)

Lost Indian
from
Accent on Animation
Includes the following:..Native American Ten Commandments - Movie (S680b)
.........................Navajo Wisdom (S33, S729)
.........................Priest Teaches Indian English (S339, S572)
.........................Old Indian Chief
.........................Where White Man Went Wrong! - Newspaper Article (S759)
.........................Men Interview Wise Old Indian Chief (S323, S545)
.........................Indian Gives Lady A Horseback Ride (S264b)
.........................Indian Girl And Two Toilet Papers (S09)
.........................Grand Canyon Glass Bridge - Web Page (S519)
.........................Predicting The Weather (S229, S822)
.........................Politician Visits Reservation (S315b)
.........................Two Wolves In Each Of Us (S476)
.........................Jay Leno On Skywalk - Movie (S543b)
.........................Senator Clinton Addresses New York State Indians (S431b)
.........................Edison Visits An Indian Reservation (S410)
.........................Two Indians And A Hillbilly (S211, S441)
.........................An Indian Fell Into An Outhouse - Web Page (S622b)
.........................The Story Of Onestone (S404b, S789)
.........................The Wisdom of a Navajo Woman (S297b, S618c)
.........................Making An Indian From A Pile Of Shit (309b)
.........................Paper Art - PPS (S665)
.........................Native American Souveniers (S234)
.........................Why Indians Have Feathers In Headdress (S179)
.........................Two Drunks In A Car And The Indian (S161)
.........................Hopi Rainbow Prophecy - Photo/Web Page (S858)
.........................Grandfather Explains How Names Are Chosen (S561)
.........................Mom Explains How Names Are Chosen (S134, S447b)
.........................Falling Rocks
.........................Two Indians In A Gay Bar
                         Short Indian Jokes
..............................Crazy Horse Quote From 1875 (S861)
..............................America's Original Homeland Security (S700b)
..............................Daylight Saving Time (S669)
..............................Henry Ford Quotation (S834)
..............................Bizarro Comic Strip (S619c)
..............................Indian Eats At Posh Restaurant (S309b)
..............................Native American And Our Flag (S582b)
..............................Indian At Times Square
..............................Captured By Indians - Cartoon (S438b)

Also see BLACKS file  - 'A Cowboy, An Indian And A Black'
.........BIRD file    - 'Getting Rid Of Pigeons'
         CANADIAN file- 'Saskatchewan Has No Daylight Saving Time'
         COWBOY file  - 'Indian Tells Time'
......................- 'Cowboy And His Horse'
         COWBOY2 file - 'The General And The Indian Scout'
......................- 'Two Cowpokes And The Indian Head'
         GENIE file   - 'Tonto, The Indian Genie'
         HUNTING-SUPP - 'Vegetarian Is An Old Indian Word' - Sign
         IRISH1 file  - 'Two Irish And An Indian Head At A Bar'
         JEWISH2 file - 'Old Jew Helps Wagon Train'
         JOBS1 file   - 'Beating A Dead Horse'
         MATH2 file   - 'Pregnant Indian Math'
......................- 'Pythagorean's Theorem'
         NATIVE file  -  (the whole file)
.........PLANE1 file  - 'Man Meets Lady Lecturer On Plane'
         POLIT-BUSH-SU- 'President Bush Visits Reservation'
         SPERM file   - 'Tonto And Lone Ranger Are Lost'
         WAITER-ETC   - 'Indian Carrying Shotgun And Manure Wants Coffee'
         WORDJOKES1   - 'Indian Gets Degree In Electrical Engineering'
         WORDJOKES2   - 'Two Eskimos'
============================================================Top
Subj:     Native American Ten Commandments (S680b,d)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 1/4/2010
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY3ZEvOfD1w

 This beautiful video is a Cherokee Prayer and Blessing shown
 with wonderful drawings and the song "May You Walk In Sunshine"
 from the album Sacred Spirit Vol. 2 (More Chants & Dances of
 the Native Americans).

 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
 the video and learn this beautiful wisdom.

Top
Subj:     Navajo Wisdom (S33, S729)
          From: DoctorDebt on 10/10/2003
      and From: allenbergman on 1/15/2007

 In 1966, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission
 took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the
 Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface.
 Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two
 large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits.

 Nearby a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the
 strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by
 personnel.  The two Navajo people were noticed and approached
 by the NASA personnel.  Since the man did not know English,
 his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the
 NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting
 ready to go to the moon.  The man became very excited and
 asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

 The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they
 rustled up a tape recorder.  After the man gave them his
 message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not.

 Later, they tried a few more people on the reservation to
 translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then
 refuse to translate.  Finally, with cash in hand, someone
 translated the message, "Watch out for these guys, they come
 to take your land."

Top
Subj:     Priest Teaches Indian English (S339, S572)
          From: thebartend on 7/25/2003

 An Indian and a priest are walking through the woods.  The
 priest is teaching the Indian the English language, so he
 can be integrated into the "white man's society".

 As they walk along, the priest sees a tree and says to the
 Indian, "Tree."  They continue walking along and come upon
 a bush, and the priest says to the Indian, "Bush".

 They keep walking and eventually come out into a small
 clearing, where they come upon a man and a woman having
 sex. The priest is so upset that he's not sure what he
 should tell the Indian.  The only thing he can think of
 to say is, "Man riding a bicycle."

 The Indian then pulls out his bow and arrow, aims and
 instantly kills the man.  The priest turns to the Indian
 and says, "What'd you do that for?"

 The Indian replies, "MY bicycle!!"

Top
Subj:     Old Indian Chief

 Talking to a tourist the manager of a exquisite older
 hostelry said "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation
 and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use
 of the premises for the rest of his life.  He is known as
 Big Chief Forget-me-Not because of his phenomenal memory.
 He is 92 and can remember the slightest detail of his life.
 "The travel writer took this in and as he was waiting for
 his cab decided to put the chief's memory to the test.

 "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?"
 said the Aussie.  "Eggs," was the instant reply, and indeed
 the Aussie was impressed.

 He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across
 to the east coast and on his return to the Spokane Hilton
 six months later was surprised to see the Indian chief
 still sitting in the lobby whittling away on a stick.
 "How", said the Aussie.

 "Scrambled," said the chief.

Top
Subj:     Where White Man Went Wrong! (S759)
          From: tom
          on 8/2/2011
 Source: http://maddad0467.newsvine.com/_news/2010/07/24/
.........4743443-chief-two-eagles-where-the-white-man-went-wrong
 (Also see 'Men Interview Wise Old Indian Chief' below)

 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
 this cute article clipped from a newspaper.

Top
Subj:     Men Interview Wise Old Indian Chief (S323, S545)
          From: RFSlick on 4/1/2003
      and From: darrell94590 on 6/20/2007
 (Also see 'Where White Man Went Wrong!' above)

 The old Cherokee chief sat in his hut on the reservation,
 smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the US government
 officials sent to interview him.  "Chief Two Eagles," one
 official began, "you have observed the white man for 90
 years.  You have observed his wars and his material wealth.
 You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."
 The Chief nodded that it was so.  The official continued,
 "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did
 the white man go wrong?"  The Chief stared at the government
 officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied, "When
 white man found the land, Indians were running it.
 No taxes.
 No debt.
 Plenty buffalo.
 Plenty beaver.
 Women did all the work.
 Medicine man free.
 Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night
 screwing women."  The Chief leaned back and smiled, "White
 man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Top
Subj:     Indian Gives Lady A Horseback Ride (S264b)
          From: auntieg on 98-05-05
      and From: mombear1 on 2/16/2002

 An attractive woman from New York was driving through a
 remote part of Texas when her car broke down.  An Indian
 on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby
 town.  She climbed up behind him on the horse and they
 rode off.  The ride was uneventful except that every few
 minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it
 would echo from the surrounding hills.  When they arrived
 in town, he let her off at the local service station,
 yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.

 "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked
 the service station attendant.

 "Nothing.  I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my
 arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so
 I wouldn't fall off.

 "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback"

Top
Subj:    Indian Girl And Two Toilet Papers (S09)
         From: THE GAG ROOM, 03/16/97

 An Indian girl walked into a general store and asked the
 clerk for some toilet paper.  The clerk replies, "Well,
 we have two brands of toilet paper: Toilet Paper Royal
 and the generic kind which doesn't have a name."

 The Indian girl asks, "What's the difference?", to which
 the clerk replies, "The generic brand is cheaper."  So the
 indian girl buys the generic brand and walks home.

 The next day she walks into the store with the roll of
 toilet paper and says, "I have found a name for this toilet
 paper."  Curious the clerk says, "Well what is it?"

 The girl replies, "John Wayne, because it's rough and it's
 tough and it don't take no crap from Indians."

Top
Subj:     Grand Canyon Glass Bridge (S519)
          From: drgolfmd on 1/2/2007 (in Eng3)
Text source: snopes.com

 The $30 million all-glass Skywalk will hover 3,800 feet
 above the Colorado River over a rim of the Grand Canyon,
 allowing tourists to stroll on an 80-yard walk around a
 semicircular platform jutting beyond the canyon rim,
 surrounded by Plexiglas that will provide a spectacular
 view of the canyon floor below.  You can view the pictures
 and story on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Predicting The Weather (S229, S822)
          From: ginafm on 10/15/2008
      and From: virv on 10/12/2012

 It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked
 their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or
 mild.  Since the Chief grew up in a modern society, he had
 never been taught the old secrets.  When he looked at the
 sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
 Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that
 the winter was in deed going to be cold and that the members
 of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

 Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth
 and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this
 winter to be cold?"

 The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to
 be quite cold indeed."

 So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect
 even more wood to be prepared.  A week later he called the
 National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very
 cold winter?"

 "Yes," the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

 So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go
 and find every scrap of wood they can find.  Two weeks later
 he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you
 absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"

 "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more
 like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

 "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

 The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood
 like crazy."

Top
Subj:     Politician Visits Reservation (S315b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 2/12/2003

 It was election time and a politician decided to go out to
 the local reservation and try to get the Native American
 vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear
 the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and
 the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise
 better education opportunities for Native Americans!"

 The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" The politician
 was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by
 their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a
 Casino on the Reservation!"

 "Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.

 "I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for
 Native Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch
 shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"

 After the speech, the Politician was touring the
 Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he
 was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he
 asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at
 the cattle.

 "Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in
 the hoya."

Top
Subj:     Two Wolves In Each Of Us (S476)
          From: jbcary1 on 2/27/2006

 One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
 battle that goes on inside all people.  He said, "My son,
 the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.  One is
 Evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,
 arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
 false pride, superiority, and ego.

 The other is Good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
 humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth,
 compassion and faith."

 The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked
 his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

 The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Top
Subj:      Jay Leno On Skywalk (S543b in Eng3)
           From: edapsmas
           on 6/11/2007

 This cute, 1,800 KB movie shows the completed Skywalk
 bridge.  You can view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Senator Clinton Addresses New York State Indians (S431b)
          From: flovilla on 5/1/2005

 Senator Hilary Clinton was invited to address a major
 gathering of the American Indian Nation in upper New York
 State.  She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans
 for increasing every Native American's present standard of
 living, should she one day become the first female President.

 Hilary referred to her career as a New York Senator, how
 she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that came to
 her desk for approval.  Although the Senator was vague on
 the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic about
 her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers".

 At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the
 Senator with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name -
 Walking Eagle.  The proud Senator then departed in her
 motorcade, waving to the crowds.

 A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of
 how they come to select the new name given to the Senator.
 They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a
 bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

Top
Subj:     Edison Visits An Indian Reservation (S410)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/30/2004

 Not many people know that Edison was a avid fisherman.
 He usually included some trout fishing in his infrequent
 vacations.  During one such trip to the west he was
 befriended by an Indian tribe.  They provided free room
 and board, as well as expert fishing guides for his stay.

 On his first night he discovered that the only sanitary
 facility was an old-fashioned outhouse.  To make things
 worse it had no light even though the village had electricity
 in the homes.

 As a thank-you gift for their kindnesses, Edison purchased
 the necessary materials and personally installed lighting
 in the Indians privvy.  He thus became the first person to
 wire a head for a reservation.

Top
Subj:     Two Indians And A Hillbilly (S211, S441)
          From: KMACINTY on 2/15/2001

 Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all
 of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of
 a small cave.  "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the
 cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an
 answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"  He tore off his clothes
 and ran into the cave.

 The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what
 that was all about.  Was the other Indian crazy or what? "No,"
 said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season when
 Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo!'
 into the opening.  If they get an answer back, it means there
 is a girl in there waiting to mate."

 Just then they saw another cave. the Indian ran up to the
 opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo!
 Wooooo!"  Immediately,there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo!
 Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes
 and ran into the cave.

 The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while,
 and then he came upon a great big cave.  As he looked in
 amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,
 "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!  It is bigger than
 those the Indians found.  There must be some really big, fine
 women in this cave!"

 He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his
 might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He grinned and closed his
 eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call,
 "WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!"

 With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced
 into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.  The
 following day, the headline of the Local Newsaper read.....

 NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN."

Top
Subj:     An Indian Fell Into An Outhouse (S622b)
          From: LABLaughs.com
          on 10/23/2008 
 Source: http://www.buffaloschips.com/41202.htm

 Click 'HERE' to read this cute joke.

Top
Subj:     The Story Of Onestone (S404b, S789)
          From: DoctorDebt on 10/6/2004
      and From: rfslick on 2/24/2012

 This is the story of an Indian called Onestone. This was his
 Indian name given to him because he had only one testicle.
 After years and years of this torment Onestone cracked and
 said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them."

 The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then
 one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
 morning Onestone."  He jumped up, grabbed her and took her
 deep into the forest and there he made love to her all day,
 he made love to her all night, he made love to her all the
 next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

 The word got around that Onestone meant business. Years went
 by until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village
 after many years of being away.  Yellow Bird, who was Blue
 Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone and hugged
 him and said "Good to see you Onestone."

 Onestone grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where
 he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made
 love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next
 night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

 What is the moral of the story? Page down and find out.....
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 You can't kill two Birds with Onestone.

Top
Subj:     The Wisdom of a Navajo Woman (S297b, S618c)
          From: Imogenelumen on 4/27/2004
      and From: gattica30 on 11/12/2008

 Sally was driving  home from one of her business trips in
 Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman
 walking on the side of  the road.  As the trip was a long
 and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo
 woman if she would like a ride.

 With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

 Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of
 small talk with the Navajo woman.  The old woman just sat
 silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying
 every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the
 seat next to Sally.

 'What in bag?'  asked the old woman.

 Sally looked down  at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle
 of wine. I got it for my husband.'

 The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then
 speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
 'Good trade.....'

Top
Subj:     Making An Indian From A Pile Of Shit (309b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 1/3/2003

 Once there was this indian sitting in the middle of
 the road stirring a pile of shit.  Someone called the
 sherrif to report what was happening.  When the sherrif
 arrived he asked the old Indian "What do you think your
 doing?"

 The Indian looked up, not bothering to stop his stirring
 and then looked back down. "I'm making another Indian"
 was his reply.

 The sherrif said, "I suppose you think your pretty
 funny.  Lets see you make a white man."

 The old Indian looked down at the pile then looked back
 up at the sherrif and said, "I can't do that."

 "Why not?" asked the sherrif.

 The Indian answered with a smile on his face "Not enough
 shit.".

Top
Subj:     Paper Art (S665) 
          From: ft.apache on 10/5/2009

 This PowerPoint Show of Paper Cast Sculptures by
 Allen Eckman is excellent.  Click 'HERE' to see it.

Top
Subj:     Native American Souveniers (S234)
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 7/22/01

 Artifacts are a major portion of an Indian reservation's
 economy. Annually, thousands of tourists visit reservations
 and most will not leave without purchasing at least one
 momento of the traditional Indian culture.

 One enterprising Indian was able to outsell his competitors
 in the sale of wooden dolls by selling them at only a
 fraction of the cost others had to charge.

 On examination of his dolls they found that where
 traditionally hard wood was used, this Indian would use
 cheap pine on which he glued thin pieces of fine mahogany,
 thus being able to produce the dolls at only a fraction
 of the cost.

 While he claimed his dolls were still authentic, his
 competitors complained that any doll made by him was
 only a cheap Sioux veneer.

 *groan*

Top
Subj:     Why Indians Have Feathers In Headdress (S179)
          From: ICohen on 7/6/00

 Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of
 American Indians.  While touring a reservation during the
 documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the
 number of feathers in the headdresses.  So she asked a
 brave who only had one feather in his headdress and his
 reply was, "Me have only one squaw, me only have one feather."

 Feeling the first fellow was only joking she asked another
 brave.  This brave had four feathers in his headdress.  And
 he replied, "Ugh, me have four feathers because me sleep
 with four squaw."

 Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of
 squaws involved, she decided to interview the Chief.  Now
 the Chief had a headdress full of feathers.  Which, needless
 to say amused Ms. Walters.  She asked the Chief, "Why do you
 have so many feathers in your headdress?"

 The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief, me
 sleep with em all.  Big, small, fat and tall, me sleep with
 em all."

 Horrified, Ms.Walters stated, "You ought to be hung."

 The Chief replied, "You damn right, me hung, big like buffalo,
 long like snake."

 Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile."

 The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any
 style me sleep with em all."

 With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear"

 The Chief said: "No deer. Ass too high, run too fast."

Top
Subj:     Two Drunks In A Car And The Indian (S161)
          From: thebartend on 2/28/00

 There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there
 was a downpour of thunder and rain.  These two young guys
 ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally
 reaching their car just as the rain let up.  They jumped in
 the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing
 and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.

 All of a sudden an old Indian man's face appeared in the
 passenger window and tapped lightly on the window!  The
 passenger screamed out, "eeeeekkk!  Look at my window!!!
 There's an old Indian guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?)
 This old Indian man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well
 open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"

 So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said,
 scared out of his wits, "What do you want?"  The old
 Indian softly replied, "You have any tobacco?"  The
 passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He
 wants tobacco!"  "Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the
 driver replies.

 So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a
 cigarette and yells, "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window
 in terror.

 Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they
 start laughing again, and the passenger says, "What do you
 think of that?   The driver says, "I don't know?  How could
 that be?  I am going pretty fast?  Then all of a sudden
 AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is the old
 Indian man again. "aaaaaaaaa, there he is again!", the
 passenger yells."

 Well see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.  He
 rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?"
 "Do you have a light?" the old Indian quietly asks.  The
 passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls
 up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!"

 They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still
 guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and
 heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking!
 "Oh my God! HE'S BACK!"  He rolls down the window and
 screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.

 The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out
 of the mud?"

Top
Subj:     Hopi Rainbow Prophecy (S858d)
          From: Laney Huda on Facebook on 6/19/13
Drawing from BeforeItsNews.com...
 Source: http://farm3.staticflickr.com/
.........2586/3726360649_3d7341ed6f_b.jpg

 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to read
 Hopi Rainbow Prophecy from the New Mexico Gathering.

Top
Subj:     Grandfather Explains How Names Are Chosen (S561)
          From: ginafm on 10/22/2007

 "Grandfather " he said, " why do we Indians have such
 funny names - like White Cloud and Running Deer ?"

 "Well, my boy, when a child is born and brought out of the
 teepee to be shown to the tribe, the father, who carries
 the child has the honour of naming the child according to
 the tradition of the Great Spirit.

 This means that the first thing that the father sees when
 he emerges from the teepee is a sign from the Great Spirit
 that the newborn childs spirit is at one with the animal
 or part of the country and so has a brotherhood with these
 things."

 "So, Running Deer's father saw a running deer and his
 spirit entered the child, while White Cloud's father saw a
 white cloud and so on."

 " Yes that's right.  But tell me, *why do you ask about
 these things Two Dogs Fucking?"

Top
Subj:     Mom Explains How Names Are Chosen (S134, S447b)
          From: The Bartenders Joke on 11/21/1997
      and From: RFSlick on 8/11/2005

 An Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled
 look on his face.  "Say, Mom, why is my bigger brother
 named Mighty Storm?"

 She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty
 storm."  Then he asked, "Why is my sister named
 Cornflower?"

 She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield
 when we made her."

 "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"

 The mother said, "We were watching the moon landing while
 she was conceived."

 Pausing, the Mother Indian asked, "Tell me, Torn Rubber,
 why are you so curious?"

Top
Subj:     Falling Rocks

 Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he
 called for Geronimo and Falling Rocks, the two bravest
 warriors in his tribe.  The chief instructed each to go out
 and seek buffalo skins.  Whoever returned with most skins
 would be the new chief.

 About a month later, Geronimo came back with on hundred
 pelts, but Falling Rocks never returned. even today as you
 drive throughout the west, you can see signs saying:
 WATCH OUT FOR FALLING ROCKS!

Top
Subj:     Two Indians In A Gay Bar
          From: sking on 97-08-23

 Two native Indians unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
 down to order a pitcher of beer.  As they're sitting there
 sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
 "How would you boys like a blow job?"

 The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
 unconscious.  He then sits back down and finishes his beer.

 His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
 that for?"

 Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
 a job!"


Subj:     Short Indian Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     Crazy Horse Quote From 1875 (S861)
          From: Diane J Swinehart on Facebook on 7/7/2013
 Source1: Facebook Photos
 Source2: http://www.pbs.org/itvs/alcatrazisnotanisland/background.html
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Top
Subj:     America's Original Homeland Security 
          From: tom
          on 6/8/2010 (S700b)
 Click 'HERE' to see this interesting picture and quote.
 

Top
Subj:     Daylight Saving Time (S669 in Canadian)
          From: LABLaughs
          on 11/6/2009
 Source: http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x055.html
 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful drawing with a great
 Native American quotation.
 

Top
Subj:     Henry Ford Quotation (S834)
          From: tom on 12/29/2012
 "Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by
  letting the Government take care of him; better take
  a closer look at the American Indian." -- Henry Ford
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Since this quote does not appear on any of the
 established 'Henry Ford Quote' sites, it is probably
 an Urban Legend.  It is still a great quotation.
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Top
Subj:     Bizarro Comic Strip (S619c)
          by Dan Piraro
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 11/18/2008
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv
........./artsandliving/comics/king_bizarro.html?name=Bizarro

 Click 'HERE' to enjoy this Bizarro cartoon about Indians.
 

Top
Subj:     Indian Eats At Posh Restaurant (S309b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 1/2/2003
 A Native American walks into a posh restaurant.  The
 maitre'd greets him at the counter and says, "I'm
 terribly sorry sir, but we have no tables available
 at this time."

 "That's okay", replies the Indian, "I have a reservation."
 

Top
Subj:     Native American And Our Flag (S582b)
          From: ft.apache
          on 3/21/2008
 This picture of a native American and the U.S. flag was
 so moving to my soul that I included it on my site.
 Click 'HERE' to view it.
 

Top
Subj:     Indian At Times Square
          From: RFSlick on 98-11-03
 Some years ago in Times Square in NYC, I observed a native
 American, in full Indian regalia, feather head dress, buck-
 skin clothes, etc.  As a pretty woman would walk by he would
 raise his right hand in an Indian greeting, and say "Wanna."

 I watched this ritual for about 20 minutes, and I became
 more curious as he kept making these greetings.  Finally I
 couldn't resist any longer.  I went up to the native
 American and said,  "I have been watching you and I am
 confused.  I thought that Indians say,  how?"

 He turned to me, obviously quite annoyed, and said...
 "ME KNOW HOW...ME TRYING TO FIND WOMAN WHO WANNA!!"
 

Top
Subj:     Captured By Indians (S438b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult
          on 6/14/2005
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20000507
 To view this cartoon, you can go to the source above, or
 my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 
 

 Indian Summer = Native American Post Equinox Phenomina

 "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.

 Man: "Doc you gotta help me, I keep having strange dreams.
 Last night I dreamed I was a wigwam, the night before I
 dreamed I was a teepee."
 Doc: "You're too tense"

From: humorlist-digest V2 #133 on 98-05-28
 "Vegetarian" - Indian word for "lousy hunter"

From: Tom_Adams on 98-05-30
 Sure you can trust the government!  Just ask an Indian!

From: CatScratch on 11/27/2001 (S253)
 Illegal aliens have always been
 a problem in the United States.
 Just ask any Indian.

From: igiggle on 6/6/2003 (S332b)
 "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 6/7/2005 (S437b in Slogans)
 The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.
   -- Native American Proverb

From: darrell94590 on 6/12/2007 (S543b)
 "The American Indians found out what happens when
  you don't control immigration."
 


 Q: Who killed more Indians than General Custer?
 A: Union Carbide

 Q: Why do you not hit an Indian on a bike?
 A: Might be your bike.

 Q: What do you call a gay Indian?
 A: Brave Sucker!

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.............................From Smiley_Central.
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