Subj:     Middle East Jokes (Gz)                  (Includes 58 jokes and articles)

Palestine flag from Animation Factory

Also see ACCIDENT1    - 'Iraq Terrorist Dies' in NonJokes
         ARAB file    - 'Arab And Jewish Tie Salesman'
......................- (see whole file)
         BAR2 file    - 'American, Canadian, And An Australian In A Seedy Bar'
         BREAST file  - 'Ahmed Obsessed By Queen's Breasts'
         CAMEL file   - 'Sex Like A Camel'
         CARS-SUPP    - 'BurnOuts Around The World'
         DARWIN AWRDS1- 'Six Drowned Rescuing A Chicken'
         FACTS3 file  - 'History Test'
         FACTS4 file  - 'Iraqi Terrorist Sends Letter Bomb'
         FRENCH file  - 'Iraq Strengthens Air Force w/French Parts'
         FUNERAL file - 'Sign In A Window'
         GENIE file   - 'Wish For Peace In Middle East'
......................- 'Two Arab Terrorists In A Shower'
         HEAVEN2 file - 'Muslim Goes To Heaven'
         HELL file    - 'Saddam Goes To Hell'
         IRISH2 file  - 'Saddam And Paddy'
         MARRIAGE6    - 'Mother-In-Law Dies In Jerusalem'
         NAT_STATE-SPP- 'Iraq Vs Washington D.C.'
         PLANE1 file  - 'Two Arabs And A Jew On A Plane'
         PLANE2 file  - 'How To Tell If There's A Terrorist At The Airport'
         PLANE-SUPP   - 'Strangers On My Flight' - Radio
         POLIT-BUSH   - 'Movie - Time To Bomb Saddam'
         SEX2 file    - 'Buying An Inflatable Doll'
         SIGNS_N_NAMES- 'Fun With Names'
         SOLDIER1 file- 'Two Reporters And A Marine Captured'
         SOLDIER2 file- 'Two Enemy Soldiers Meet'
......................- 'USMC Bumper Sticker'
         SOLDIER-SUPP - 'New Elite Fighting Force'
         STARTREK file- 'Pres. Bush Explains Star Trek'
         YOU_ARE_FROM - 'Is It Time To Evaluate Our Involvement?'
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Subj:     Achmed The Dead Terrorist (S565)           From: edapsmas on 11/17/2007  (See 'Jeff Dunham And Walter' in Quotes-Comed-Supp)

 This 7,100 KB movie features the comedian, Jeff Dunhan and
 his puppet, Achmed.  Click 'HERE' to view it on my site.

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Subj:     Arab Sickness (S482)
          From: DoctorDebt on 4/19/2006

 Ahkmed the Arab came to Canada from the Middle East, and he
 was only here a few months when he became very ill.  He went
 to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
 Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said: "Take dees bocket,
 go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, Den pee on de poop,
 and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de
 fumes for ten minutes."

 Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in
 the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the
 fumes for ten minutes.  Coming back to the doctor he said,
 "It worked.  Let me be telling you, I feel terrific!

 What was wrong with me?"

 The doctor said .... "You were homesick"

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Subj:     Two Arab Mothers Talk In Cafe (S450)
          From: DoctorDebt on 8/26/2005

 Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting
 over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls
 her bag outand starts flipping through pictures, and they
 start reminiscing.

 "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now."

 "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother
 cheerfully.

 "He's a martyr now though," Mum confides.

 "Oh, so sad, Dear" says the other.

 "And this is my second son, Kalid. He's 21."

 "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily; "he had
 such curly hair when he was born."

 "He's a martyr, too," says Mum quietly.

 "Oh, gracious me," says the other.

 "And this is my third son.  My baby.  My beautiful Ahmed.
 He's 18," she whispers.

 "Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when
 he first started school."

 "He's a martyr, also," says Mum, with tears in her eyes.

 After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother
 looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow
 up so fast, don't they?"

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Subj:     Iraq In The Bible (S442b)
          From: chicababe1978 on 7/10/2005

  1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq.
  2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of
     civilization!
  3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
  4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.
  5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
  6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq.
  7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
  8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
  9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes
     of Israel.
 10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
 11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
 12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!
 13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq
     (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person
     in the fiery furnace!)
 14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing
     on the wall" in Iraq.
 15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews
     captive into Iraq.
 16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
 17. The wise men were from Iraq.
 18. Peter preached in Iraq.
 19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called
     Babylon, which was a city in Iraq!

 And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation
 most often mentioned in the Bible.  But do you know which
 nation is second?  It is Iraq!  However, that is not the
 name that is used in the Bible.  The names used in the Bible
 are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia.  The word
 Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly
 between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.  The name Iraq,
 means country with deep roots.

 Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very
 significant country in the Bible.

 No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy
 associated it than Iraq.

 And also... This is something to think about! Since America
 is typically represented by an eagle.  Saddam should have
 read up on his Muslim passages...

 The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)

 Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a so n of Arabia would
 awaken a fearsome Eagle.  The wrath of the Eagle would be felt
 throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people
 trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the
 Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

 (Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!

 God Bless you all Amen !

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Subj:     US Soldier Talks About Iraq (S379)
          From: Imogenelumen on 5/3/2004

 Subject: The Rest of the Story - Iraq

 This is a letter from Ray Reynolds, a medic in the Iowa
 Army National Guard, serving in Iraq:

 As I head off to Baghdad for the final weeks of my stay
 in Iraq, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who did not
 believe the media.  They have done a very poor job of
 covering everything that has happened.  I am sorry that
 I have not been able to visit all of you during my two
 week leave back home.  And just so you can rest at night
 knowing something is happening in Iraq that is noteworthy,
 I thought I would pass this on to you this is the list of
 things that has happened in Iraq recently: (Please share
 it with your friends and compare it to the version that
 your paper is producing.)

 * Over 400,000 kids have up-to-date immunizations.
 * School attendance is up 80% from levels before the war.
 * Over 1,500 schools have been renovated and rid of the
   weapons stored there so education can occur.
 * The port of Uhm Qasar was renovated so grain can be off-
   loaded from ships faster.
 * The country had its first 2 billion barrel export of oil
   in August.
 * Over 4.5 million people have clean drinking water for the
   first time ever in Iraq.
 * The country now receives 2 times the electrical power it
   did before the war.
 * 100% of the hospitals are open and fully staffed, compared
   to 35% before the war.
 * Elections are taking place in every major city, and city
   councils are in place.
 * Sewer and water lines are installed in every major city.
 * Over 60,000 police are patrolling the streets.
 * Over 100,000 Iraqi civil defense police are securing
   the country.
 * Over 80,000 Iraqi soldiers are patrolling the streets side
   by side with US soldiers.
 * Over 400,000 people have telephones for the first time ever.
 * Students are taught field sanitation and hand washing
   techniques to prevent the spread of germs.
 * An interim constitution has been signed.
 * Girls are allowed to attend school.
 * Textbooks that don't mention Saddam are in the schools for
   the first time in 30 years.

 Don't believe for one second that these people do not want us
 there.  I have met many, many people from Iraq that want us
 there, and in a bad way.  They say they will never see the
 freedoms we talk about but they hope their children will.  We
 are doing a good job in Iraq and I challenge anyone, anywhere
 to dispute me on these facts.  If you are like me and very
 disgusted with how this period of rebuilding has been portrayed,
 email this to a friend and let them know there are good things
 happening.

 (True story is verified at Snopes.com, see
 http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/reynolds.asp)

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Subj:     Shakespeare On Iraq (S319)
          From: tadams96 on 3/5/2003

 Dramatis Personae:

 The Iraqi Theater
 What would the Bard think about the war?

 BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
 Wednesday, March 5, 2003 12:01 a.m. EST

 George W. Bush to Saddam Hussein:

 Check thy contempt; obey our will, which
 Travails in thy good; believe not thy disdain,
 But presently do thine own fortunes that
 Obedient right which both thy duty owes
 And our power claims, or I will throw thee
 From my care forever into the staggers and
 The careless lapse of youth and ignorance,
 Both my revenge and hate loosing upon thee
 In the name of justice without all terms of
 Pity.

 Dick Cheney:

 We have strict statutes and most biting laws,
 The needful bits and curbs to headstrong
 Steeds, which for this fourteen years we
 Have let slip, even like an overgrown lion in
 A cave that goes not out to prey.
 Now, as fond fathers, having bound up the
 Threatening twigs of birch only to
 Stick it in their children's sight for terror,
 Not to use, in time the rod becomes more
 Mocked than feared, so our decrees,
 Dead to infliction, to themselves are dead,
 And liberty plucks justice by the nose;
 The baby beats the nurse,
 And quite athwart goes all decorum.

 Donald Rumsfeld:

 Nothing emboldens sin so much as mercy.
 To kill, I grant, is sin's extremest gust,
 But in defense, by mercy, 'tis most just.
 A speedier course than lingering
 Languishment must we pursue, and I have
 Found the path.

 Colin Powell:

 Leave those remnants of fool and feather
 That they got in France, with all their
 Honorable points of ignorance abusing
 Better men than they can be out of a foreign
 Wisdom, renouncing clean the faith they
 Have in tennis and tall stockings, short
 Blistered breeches.

 Saddam Hussein:

 This tyrant, whose sole name blisters our tongues.

 Osama bin Laden:

 Ungracious wretch, fit for the mountains
 And the barbarous caves, where manners
 Never were preached.

 Kofi Annan:

 Speaks an infinite deal of nothing,
 More than any man in all Venice. His
 Reasons are as two grains of wheat hid in
 Two bushels of chaff; you shall seek all day
 Ere you find them, and when you have them
 They are not worth the search.

 Hans Blix:

 And in his brain, which is as dry as
 The remainder biscuit after a voyage,
 He hath strange places crammed with
 Observation, the which he vents in mangled
 Forms.

 Tony Blair:

 I will keep where there is wit stirring and
 Leave the faction of fools.

 Jacques Chirac:

 What cracker is this same that deafs our ears
 With this abundance of superfluous breath?

 France:
 France, thou shalt rue this hour within this hour.

 Gerhard Schroeder:

 This is a slight unmeritable man,
 Meet to be sent on errands.

 Vladimir Putin:
 Is't possible the spells of France should
 Juggle men into such strange mysteries?

 Bill Clinton:

 This butcher's cur is venom mouthed,
 And I have not the power to muzzle him.
 He's a most notable coward, and infinite
 And endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker,
 The owner of no one good quality worthy
 Your lordship's entertainment.

 Hillary Clinton:
 A callet of boundless tongue, who late hath
 Beat her husband and now baits me.

 John Kerry:

 There can be no kernel in this light nut.
 The soul of this man is his clothes.

 Edward Kennedy:

 Nettled and stung with pismires, when I hear
 Of this politician.

 Sean Penn:
 I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught.

 Martin Sheen:

 For what thou professest, a baboon,
 Could he speak, would own a name too dear.

 Susan Sarandon:

 O gull! O dolt! As ignorant as dirt!
 Come, you are a tedious fool.

 Mike Farrell:

 The portrait of a blinking idiot.
 A lunatic lean-witted fool.

 Sheryl Crow:

 Sir, there she stands. If aught within that
 Little seeming substance . . .

 New York Times:

 Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear.

 Antiwar protesters:

 There are a crew of wretched souls.
 Go hang yourselves all! You are idle
 Shallow things.

 Mothers of antiwar protesters:

 As they were sons of mine, I'd have them
 Whipped, or I would send them to the Turk,
 To make eunuchs of.

 Iraqis on Saddam:

 All the commons hate him perniciously and,
 O' my conscience, wish him ten fathom
 Deep.

 Middle America to Hollywood:

 You blocks, you stones, you worse than
 Senseless things!

 American soldiers to Saddam Hussein:

 You shall have your deliverance with an
 Unpitied whipping, for you have been a
 Notorious bawd.

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Subj:     Middle East Map (S401)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/10/2004
          At: www.ezines4all.com/at200407/013.htm
 

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Subj:     Hussein Calls Bush (S244b)
          From: pns on 10/4/2001

 Saddam Hussein had a dream and called President George W.
 Bush to tell him about it. "I had a dream about the United
 States.  I could see the whole country and over every
 building and home was a banner," said Hussein.

 "What was on the banner?" asked Mr. Bush.

 "LONG LIVE SADDAM HUSSEIN! " answered the Iraqi president.

 "I am so glad that you called", said President Bush,
 "because I too had a dream. In my dream, I saw Baghdad
 and it was more beautiful than ever, totally rebuilt,
 and over every building and home was a big, beautiful
 banner".

 " What did the banner say?", asked Saddam.

 "I don't know", answered President Bush. "I can't
 read Hebrew."

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Subj:     Bush Visits Hussein (S216)
          From: BennoRo on 3/23/2001
 Source: www.Having-a-Giraffe.com

 Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the
 first round of talks in a new peace process.  When George
 sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's
 chair.  They begin talking.  After about five minutes Saddam
 presses the first button.  A boxing glove springs out of a
 box on the desk and punches George W right in the face!
 Confused, he carries on talking as Saddam laughs.

 A few minutes later the second button is pressed.  This time
 a big boot comes out and kicks George in the shin.  Again
 Saddam laughs, and again George W carries on talking, not
 wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two
 countries.  But when the third button is pressed and another
 boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally
 had enough. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi.
 "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"

 A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for
 talks.  As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three
 buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's
 revenge.  They begin talking and George presses the first
 button.  Saddam ducks, but nothing happens.  George snickers.
 A few seconds later he presses the second button.  Saddam
 jumps up, but again nothing happens.  George W  roars with
 laughter.

 When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and
 again nothing happens.  Bush falls on the floor in a fit of
 hysterics.  "Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to
 Baghdad!"  Then George W says through tears of laughter,
 "What Baghdad?"

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Subj:     US Tourist Offered Camels For Wife (S95, S394)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #276 on 98-11-24
      and From: DafterLafter on 8/12/2004

 As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting
 outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow
 tourists.  An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.

 After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked
 where they were from.  "America," the husband replied.
 Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded.
 "She's not from the States."

 "Yes I am." said the wife.  He looked at her and asked.
 "Is he your husband?"  "Yes." she replied.  Turning to the
 husband, he offered,  "I'll give you 100 camels for her."
 The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence.
 Finally he replied, "She's not for sale."

 After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked
 her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the
 husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get
 100 camels back home."

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Subj:     I Had A Dream (S62)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #83 on 98-04-02

 Sadam called President Clinton and said: "Bill, I called
 you because I had this incredible dream last night.  I
 could see all of America, and it was beautiful and all top
 of every building, there was a flag."

 Clinton said: "Sadam, what was on the flag?"

 Sadam said: "Allah is G-d, G-d is Allah."

 Clinton said: "You know, Sadam, I'm really glad you called
 because last night I had a dream too.  I could see all of
 Bagdad, and it was even more beautiful than before the war.
 It had been completely rebuilt.  And on every building there
 was a flag."

 Sadam said: "Bill, what was on the flag?"

 Clinton replied: "I really don't know, I can't read Hebrew!"

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Subj:     The History Of Saddam Hussein (S520c)           From: edapsmas on 1/6/2007 Photo from Yahoo Images

 Source: http://www.bushflash.com/thanks.html

 This 1,100 KB movie gives you the history of Saddam Hussein
 done to Bing Crosby music.  It is quite an eye opener.  You
 can view it at the source above, or on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj:     American, Italian And Iranian Brag
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #29

 An American, an Italian and an Iranian were drinking together
 and began to boast.  The American says, "I have four daughters;
 one more and I have a basketball team."

 The Italian joins in, "I hava eight daughters; onea more and I
 hava baseball team."

 The Iranian quietly acknowledges each, and then says, "I have
 17 wives; one more and I have a golf course!"

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Subj:     An Israeli And two Arabs On A Plane
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #199 on 97-09-29

          This joke has been moved to

      "Two Arabs And A Jew On A Plane" in Plane1

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Subj:     Short Middle East Jokes

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Subj:     Robert DeNiro On Saturday Night Live (S585)           From: edapsmas (in Movies-supp2)           on 4/8/2008

 This 2,400 LB movie is Robert DeNiro's appearance on
 Saturday Night Live.  Click 'HERE' to view it.
 

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Subj:     Saudis And Human Rights (S582c)           From: AFine963           on 3/9/2008

 Source: http://www.dotsub.com/films/moredemands
........./index.php?autostart=true&language_setting=en_1618
 This six-minute lecture on human rights in the Middle
 East is interesting.  You can listen to the talk at the
 source above, or click 'HERE' for the version on my site.
 

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Subj:     Allah Calls One Home (S580)           From: darrellvip           on 2/27/2008

 This video made by the bad guys!  His friends praising
 Allah as this guy, is launching mortar shots at American
 troops.  Read below before watching the movie.

 Mortar tracking technology can track the trajectory of
 a hostile round and fire a retaliatory shot to precisely
 the spot where the hostile shell was fired from.  The
 effects are usually pretty final.

 This only requires the hostile mortar to fire 2 to 3
 rounds.  Count the number of mortar rounds the masked
 insurgent fires in the video.  See how well it works.

 Click 'HERE' to see the movie.  Isn't technology GREAT.
 

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Subj:     U.S. Islamic Holiday Stamp (S559 in Mailman)           From: rfslick           on 10/5/2007

 A U.S. postage stamp commemorates the Islamic holidays of
 Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha.  You can see the stamp and
 read the artilce on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Arab Fall Fashions (S556c)           From: LABLaughsClean            on 9/11/2007

 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20070910
 You can view this cute sketch at the source above,
 or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Virgins Waiting In Heaven (S534c)           From: jbcary1           on 4/11/2007

 Much to their surprise, the Virgins awaiting Muslims in
 Heaven were not quite what they expected.  You can see
 this cute picture on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Arab Family Photo (S505c)           From: LABLaughsClean           on 9/19/2006

 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19941119
 (Also see 'Arab Photo' in Arab)
 You can view this interesting family photo at the source
 above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Islamic Peace March, London (S496b in Englishman)           From: darrell94590           on 7/27/2006

 This web page of mine contains nine pictures of Moslems
 who marched throughout the streets of London during their
 recent Religion of Peace Demonstration.  Please take a
 minute to read the signs.  Click 'HERE' to view.
 

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Subj:     Taliban Warning (S489b)
          From: darrell94590 on 6/5/2006
 This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban
 Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United
 States that if military action against Iraq continues,
 Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of
 convenience store managers.

 And if this action does not yield sufficient results,
 cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell customer
 service reps.
 

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Subj:     Most Feared Man (S473)           From: UComics.com on 2/20/2006           At: http://www.ucomics.com/nonsequitur/

 I've thought a lot about the cartoonist in Copenhagen
 who now has a one million dollar bounty on his head for his
 caricature of the prophet Muhammad published in the Danish
 newspaper Jyllands-Posten.  Here is the first cartoon about
 the subject I have seen in my paper.  You can view it by
 clicking 'HERE'.

 If you wish to see the original drawing and the learn the
 reason for it being publication, go to
 http://blog.newspaperindex.com/2005/12/10/
 un-to-investigate-jyllands-posten-racism/
 

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Subj:     Skiing In United Arab Emirates (S474c)           From: LABLaughsAdult (in Skiing)           on 2/7/2006

 Sources: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19970923
      to: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19970930
 If I hadn't seen these five photos, I wouldn't have believed
 it.  It's best to view these photos on my web site by clicking
 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Human Bomb Training School (S445b)           From: LABLaughsAdult           on 8/11/2005

 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20050811
 To view this animated GIF toy can go to the source above,
 or my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Why They Can't Find Bin Laden (S447b)           From: darrell94590           on 8/10/2005

 This cute animated GIF can be viewed on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Bin Laden Family Photo (S441)           From: Joke Mail           on 7/6/2005

  Source: http://imagehost.bizhat.com/img_gallery.php/925/3681
 You can view the very funny 'Ben Laden Family Photo' at the
 source above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Syrian Protest (S436b)           From: RFSlick           on 6/1/2005

 To view the picture go to my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Arab Wedding - Cartoon (S428b)           From: LABLaughsAdult           on 3/30/2005

 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20050330
 To see this cute cartoon, you can go to the source above,
 or my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     US Arrests Iraqi School Teacher (S324b)
          From: gowest42 on 4/12/2003
          (Also see 'Oakland Teacher Arrested' in MATH6
          and 'The Full Story-Weapons Of Math Instruction' in MATH1))
 Reuters is reporting that US forces have swooped on an
 Iraqi Primary School and detained teacher Mohammed Al-
 Hazar.  Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar
 was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set
 square and a calculator.

 US President George W Bush argued that this was clear
 and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed
 weapons of math instruction.
 

Top
Subj:     Two Iraquis Meet In California (S322)
          From: RFSlick on 4/4/2003
 Two Iraqis meet in California.  One starts to greet the
 other in Arabic, the language of their native country.
 The other Iraqi waves him away contemptuously and says,
 "We're in America now.  Speak Spanish!"
 

Top
Subj:     Kuwait Women (S165, S345)
          From: zeise on 2/18/00
      and From: LABLaughs.com on 7/19/2003
 Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait
 several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that
 women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

 She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men
 now walked several yards behind their wives.

 Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation.

 "This is marvelous," she said. "What enabled women here to
 achieve this reversal of roles?"

 The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."

 ...::...Ann Zeise...::...
 A to Z Home's Cool Homeschooling
 http://www.gomilpitas.com/homeschooling

 From 'International Sex Laws' in LAWS file.

 Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following
 Islamic law:  After having sexual relations with a lamb,
 it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."  (umm ok, I'm sure
 the lamb appreciates that one)

 In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
 animals, but the animals must be female.  Having sexual
 relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
 (OK, like THAT makes sense)

 In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's
 genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them
 during the examination.  He may only see their reflection
 in a mirror.

 Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
 corpse.  This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs
 of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of
 wood at all times.  (...a brick?????)

 The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

From: jerry on 8/28/2002 (S291b)
  PALESTINIAN BUMPER STICKER PROCLAIMS:
 "MY SON BLEW UP YOUR HONOR STUDENT"

From: samhutkins on 7/24/2003 (S338)
 I heard on the radio that Uday and Usay are eaday.

From: igiggle on 8/14/2004 (S394b)
 The Persian poet Saadi outlined the paradox of intelligence:
 "A  stupid person should keep silent.  But if he knew this,
 he would not be a stupid person."
 

From: JBCARY1 on 3/13/2003 (S319b)
 Q: What is the Iraqi air force motto?
 A: I came, I saw, Iran.

 Q: Have you heard about the new Iraqi exercise program?
 A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head
    and leave them there.

 Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
 A: They both have Kurds in their way.
 

Bawdy.Net Collage #86
 Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and
    sex education on the same day in Iran?
 A: They don't want to wear out the camel.

From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
 Q. What's the difference between an Iranian woman and
    the New York Rangers?
 A. The Rangers shower after three periods!!!

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #224 on 98-01-22
 Q: Why can't you circumcise an Iranian?
 A: There's just no end to those pricks.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #84 on 98-04-06
 Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?
 A: Nothing, yet.

 Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
 A: Turkey.

 Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
 A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

 Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
 A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks
    are coming from!

 Q: What is the difference between the Iraqi Special Forces ?
    Senator Edward Kennedy.
 A: The Senator has killed more people

 Q: What is the best Iraqi government job?
 A: Foreign Ambassador

 Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

 Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 A: Only one, but he does it from 200 miles away using laser
    targeting, and at a cost of $800,000.

 Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take
    to screw in a lightbulb?"
 A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers
    at this time."

 Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi
    fighter pilots?
 A: You only have to teach them to take off.

 Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo?
 A: B-52...F-16...B-52

 Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
 A: Duck

 Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot
    and the Scud Missile?
 A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

 Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
 A: So they can see their Air Force.

From: Anon Jr. on 6/1/2004 (S383)
 Q: Why are long distance calls in Persia so expensive?
 A: Why, because they are Persian to Persian.

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Smiley the belly dancer from Smiley_Central

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