Subj:     Other Nationalities (Gz)                  (Includes 17 jokes and articles)

Switzerland flag from Animation Factory

Also see BALLS file   - 'Holland Man Castrated In Hospital' - Movie
......................- 'Cojones'
         BIG_CATS     - 'Shade'
         DIFFERENCES2 - 'Geography Of A Woman/Man'
         FACTS3 file  - 'Silver Bullet:'
         LOVE file    - 'Love In Many Languages'
         QUOTES-CMD-SP- 'Crazy World by Chris Rock'
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Subj:     Illegal's Poem (S319b)
          From: DafterLafter on 3/4/2003

 I cross ocean, poor and broke,
 Take bus, see employment folk.

 Nice man treat me good in there,
 Say I need to see welfare.

 Welfare say, "You come no more,
 we send cash right to your door."

 Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
 Medicaid it keep you healthy!

 By and by, I got plenty money,
 thanks to you, American dummy.

 Write to friends in mother-land;
 tell them come fast as you can.

 They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
 I buy big house with welfare bucks.

 They come here, we live together,
 more welfare checks, it gets better!

 Fourteen families, they moving in,
 but neighbor's patience wearing thin.

 Finally, white guy moves away,
 now I buy his house, and then I say,

 "Find more aliens for house to rent."
 And in the yard I put a tent.

 Send for family they just trash,
 But they, too, draw the welfare cash!

 Everything is very good,
 and soon we own the neighborhood.

 We have hobby -- it's called breeding,
 Welfare pay for baby feeding.

 Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
 We get free! We got no bills!

 American crazy! He pay all year,
 to keep welfare running here.

 We think America darn good place!
 Too darn good for the white man race.

 If they no like us, they can scram,
 Got lots of room in Pakistan.

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Subj:     How Yodeling Was Invented (S315, S587)
          From: JokesUncut on 1/22/2003

 Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
 California? Oregon? Switzerland?  Most believe it
 originated in Switzerland, but here's the real version.

 Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
 Switzerland.  Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had
 nowhere to sleep.  He went up to a farmhouse and asked the
 farmer if he could spend the night.  The farmer told him that
 he could sleep in the barn.

 As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down from
 upstairs and asked her father, "Who is that man going into
 the barn?"

 "That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer.
 "He needs a place to stay for the night, so I said he could
 sleep in the barn."

 The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry."  So she prepared
 him a plate of food and took it out to the barn.

 About an hour later, the daughter returned.  Her clothing
 disheveled and straw in her hair.  Straight up to bed she
 went.

 The farmer's wife was very observant.  She then suggested
 that perhaps the man was thirsty.  So she fetched a bottle
 of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not
 return for an hour.  Her clothing was askew, her blouse
 buttoned incorrectly and her hair all messed up.  She also
 headed straight to bed.

 The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and
 continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
 When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was
 gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without
 even saying goodbye," she cried.  "We made such passionate
 love last night!"

 "What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the
 house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the
 mountain.  The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to
 get you! You had sex with my daughter!"

 The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his
 hand next to his mouth, and yelled out, "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO."

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Subj:     Swiss Meets Two Americans (S274)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 5/3/2002

 A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus
 stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung,
 koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.  The two
 Americans just stare at him.

 "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries.  The two
 continue to stare.

 "Parlare Italiano?" No response.

 "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

 The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.  The first
 American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we
 should learn a foreign language."

 "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and
 it didn't do him any good."

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Subj:     Short Nationality Jokes

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Subj:     "Getting it Done" in the Third World (S580)           From: ginafm           on 3/2/2008

 These fifteen photos are impressive illustrations of creativity,
 and stupidity.  Click 'HERE' to view them.
 

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Subj:     Keukenhof, A Park In Holland (S540c)           From: darrell94590           on 5/20/2007

 This 6,400 KB Power Point Show is of a very beautiful
 park in Holland.  You can view it on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj: Lake Léman, Switzerland, on January 26, 2005 (S476)       From: darrell94590       on 2/21/2006

 If you have ever wondered what cold looks like, or if it
 could be beautiful, view these pictures on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     The Running Of The Bulls (S470b)           From: LABLaughsClean2            on 1/18/2006

 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20040115
 The fact that a photographer even took this picture amazed
 me enough that I had to include it on my site.  You can
 view the picture at the source above, or on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Speaking Many Languages (S325b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 4/21/03
 A person who speaks two languages is bilingual...A person
 who speaks three languages is trilingual...A person who
 speaks four or more languages is multilingual.

 What is a person who speaks one language?

 An American.
 

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Subj:     Language Statistics (S323b)
          From: jerry on 4/7/2003
 Here are the most widely spoken languages in the world:
  1. Mandarin -- 1 billion speakers
  2. English -- 508 million
  3. Hindustani -- 497 million
  4. Spanish -- 293 million
  5. Russian -- 277 million
  6. Arabic -- 246 million
  7. Bengali -- 211 million
  8. Portuguese -- 191 million
  9. Malay-Indonesian - 159 million
 10. French - 129 million

 Scottish Daily Record 19-Mar-03
 

 Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

 Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
 Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

 Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than
 any other nation.

 The only nation who's name begins with an "A", but doesn't
 end in an "A" is Afghanistan.

From: joke-of-the-day.com on 4/2/2003 (S322b)
 If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the
 religion and avoid the people, you should just stay
 home.  -- James Michener
 

From: JBCARY1 on 8/22/2001 (S238)
 Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
 A: Polaroids.

From: igiggle on 1/23/2006 (S471c)
 Q: If a man was born in Australia, worked in America and
    died in Europe, what is he?
 A: Dead

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/27/2007 (S540b)
 Q: What do you call a Korean family with just one dog?
 A: Vegetarians

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3D Smiley flips from Animated Gif Archive

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