Subj: Cab Driver Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 12 jokes and articles)
Sick Car
ftom
Gameznets Big Boys Toys
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Subj: Cab Driver Jokes (Gz) (Includes 12 jokes and articles) |
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Sick Car ftom Gameznets Big Boys Toys |
Also see BIRTHDAYS
- 'Wife
Takes Husband To Strip Club'
CATS2 file - 'Cat
Runs In As Couple Goes Out'
FACTS5 file - 'African's
Thoughts on Condoms And Aids'
HOOKER file - 'Mother,
Daughter, And The Cabbie'
........................'Boy
And Girl Have Sex'
HOSPITAL2 - 'True
Hospital Stories'
MARRIAGE3 - 'Husband
? Cabbie Catch Wife'
STORIES - 'Cab
Driver And The 80 Year Old Lady'
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| Subj:
The Cab And The Coffin (S535c)
From: drgolfmd on 4/20/2007 |
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Subj: The
Famous Cab Driver (S592b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/21/2008
The tourist in London climbed
into a cab and noticed by the
license that his cab driver's
name was Winston Churchill.
Trying to make conversation,
he said, "I see your name is
Winston Churchill."
The driver simply said, "Yep. That's my moniker."
The passenger, not willing to
give up yet on some banter,
said, "That's a pretty famous
name."
The driver responded with, "As
well it should be too.
I've been driving a cab here
for over forty years!"
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Subj: New
York Cabbie (S321)
From: DafterLafter on 3/22/2003
Jill had to grab a cab to get
to a meeting uptown. She
hailed one down, got in, and
told the cabbie the address
she needed. The cabbie turned
out to be a lunatic driver,
and Jill sat in the backseat
clutching the door handle
wondering if she could expect
to survive this trip. The
cabdriver sped through the crowded
NYC streets, weaving
in and out of traffic.
Jill watched as one pedestrian
after another leapt aside to
avoid being run down by her
lunatic driver.
Jill looked ahead and saw a truck
double parked on the
narrow street. Not only
did the driver fail to slow down,
he actually accelerated as he
approached the truck. He
slipped his cab through the
available space with an inch
or two to spare on either side.
"Driver," Jill screamed, "Are
you crazy? Are you trying
to get us both killed?"
"Relax, Lady," he said. "Just
do what I do. Close your
eyes."
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Subj: Taxi
Driver Gets Scared (S224, S437b)
From: KMACINTY on 5/17/2001
and
From: CKButch4Femme on 6/14/2005
A taxi passenger tapped the driver
on the shoulder to ask him
something. The driver
screamed, lost control of the car,
nearly hit a bus, went up on
the footpath, and stopped centi-
meters from a shop window.
For a second everything went
quiet in the cab, then the driver
said, "Look, don't ever do that
again. You scared the day-
lights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and
said he didn't realize that a
little tap could scare him so
much. The driver replied
"Sorry, it's not really your
fault.
Today is my first day as a cab
driver - I've been driving
hearses for the last 25 years."
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Subj: Cab
Driver Asks To Kiss A Nun (S233, S514c)
From: h2oman19 on 5/7/2001
and
From: hellgunner50 on 11/28/2006
(See 'A Nun And A Hippie On A
Bus' in NUNS1)
A cab driver picks up a nun.
She gets into the cab, and the
cab driver won't stop staring
at her. She asks him why he is
staring and he replies, "I have
a question to ask you but I
don't want to offend you."
She answers: "My dear son, you
cannot offend me. When you're
as old as I am and have been
a nun as long as I have, you get
a chance to see and hear just
about everything. I'm sure that
there's nothing you could say
or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see
what we can do about that: #1,
you have to be single and #2
you must be a Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited
and says, "Yes, I am single and
I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says, "OK, pull into
the next alley." He does and the
nun fulfills his fantasy.
But when they get back on the road,
the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child." said the nun,
"Why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have
sinned. I lied, I must confess,
I'm married and a I'm a Baptist."
The nun says, "That's OK, I am
on the way to a Halloween party,
and my name is Kevin."
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Subj: Just
Like Dave Bronson (S177, S426)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 6/23/00
A man walked out into the street
in New York, and managed to
flag down a taxi just driving
by.
He got into the taxi, and the
cabbie said, "Perfect timing.
You're just like Dave."
The passenger said, "Who?"
The cabbie said, "Dave Bronson.
Now there's a guy who did
everything right. Like
my coming along just when you needed
a cab. It would have happened
like that to Dave."
The rider said, "Well, nobody's perfect."
The cabbie said, "Dave was.
He was a terrific athlete. He
could have gone on the pro tour
in golf. He could have played
tennis with the best pros.
He sang like an opera baritone,
and danced like a Broadway star.
He had a memory like a trap.
Could remember everybody's birthday.
He could fix anything,
not like me. If I change
even a fuse, I black out the whole
neighborhood."
The rider said, "No wonder you remember him."
The cabbie said, "Well, no I never actually met Dave."
The rider asked, "Then how do you know so much about him?"
The cabbie exclaimed, " I married his widow!"
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Subj: Nude
Woman Hails Cab (S109)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #288 on 99-03-01
One dismal rainy night, a taxi
driver spotted an arm waving
from the shadows of an alley
halfway down the block. Even
before he rolled to a stop at
the curb, a figure leaped into
the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror
as he pulled away, he was startled
to see a dripping wet,
naked woman sitting in the back
seat. "Where to?" he
stammered.
"Union Station," answered the woman.
"You got it," he said, taking
another long glance in the
mirror.
The woman caught him staring
at her and asked, "Just what
the hell are you looking at,
driver?"
"Well ma'am, I noticed that you're
completely naked, and
I was just wondering how you'll
pay your fare."
The woman spread her legs, put
her feet up on the front
seat, smiled at the driver and
said, "Does this answer
your question?"
Still looking in the mirror,
the cabby asked, "Got
anything smaller?"
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Subj: Minister
And Cabbie Die And Go To Heaven (S458b)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #227 on 98-09-25
and
From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 11/1/2005
A minister dies and is waiting
in line at the Pearly Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy who's
dressed in sunglasses, a loud
shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy,
"Who are you, so that I may
know whether or not to admit
you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen,
taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk
City." Saint Peter consults
his list. He smiles and says
to the taxi-driver, "Take this
silken robe and golden staff
and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi-driver goes into Heaven
with his robe and staff,
and it's the minister's turn.
He stands erect and booms
out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor
of Saint Mary's for the
last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list.
He says to the minister, "Take
this cotton robe and wooden
staff and enter the Kingdom
of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister.
"That man was a taxi-
driver and he gets a silken
robe and golden staff. How
can this be?"
"Up here, we work by results,"
says Saint Peter. "While
you preached, people slept;
while he drove, people
prayed."
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Subj: Revenge
On A Cabdriver (S17, S396b)
From Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97
and
From: JokesUncut on 8/27/2004
A successful businessman flew
to Vegas for the weekend to
gamble. He lost the shirt
off his back, and had nothing
left but a quarter and the second
half of his round trip
ticket. If he could just get
to the airport he could get
himself home.
The businessman went out to the
front of the casino where
there was a cab waiting.
He got in and explained his
situation to the cabbie.
He promised to send the driver
money from home, he offered
him his credit card numbers,
his drivers license number,
his address, etc. but to no
avail.
The cabbie said (adopt appropriate
dialect), "If you don't
have fifteen dollars, get the
hell out of my cab!" The
businessman was forced to hitchhike
to the airport and was
barely in time to catch his
flight.
One year later the businessman,
having worked long and
hard to regain his financial
success, returned to Vegas
and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about
himself, he went out to the
front of the casino to get a
cab ride back to the airport.
Who should he see out
there, at the end of a long
line of cabs, but his old
buddy who had refused to give
him a ride when he was down
on his luck.
The businessman thought for a
moment about how he could
make the guy pay for his lack
of charity, and he hit on
a plan. He got in the
first cab in the line, "How much
for a ride to the airport,"
he asked? "Fifteen bucks,"
came the reply. "And how much
for you to give me a blow-
job on the way?"
"What?! Get the hell out of my
cab." The businessman got
into the back of each cab in
the long line and asked the
same questions, with the same
result. When he got to his
old friend at the back of the
line, he got in and asked
"How much for a ride to the
airport?" The cabbie replied
"fifteen bucks." The businessman
said "ok" and off they
went.
As they drove slowly past the
long line of cabs the
businessman gave a big smile
and thumbs up sign to each
driver.
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Subj: Short
CabDriver Jokes
| Subj:
Frank And Ernest On Cab Drivers (S562c)
From: WashingtonPost on 10/24/2007 |
 |
Ninety percent of New York City
cabbies are recently
arrived immigrants.
From: jerry on 1/15/2002 (S259)
Taxi driver Dick Head, 26, of
Sydney, Australia, fed up with
customers teasing him about
his name, had it legally changed
to Dick Foot.
UK Sunday People 6-Jan-02
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 |
Smiley the Cab Driver from
Smiley_Central |