Subj:     Butler-Maid Jokes
                 (Includes 7 jokes and articles, 20 1050,3,cf,vXT3a5a,1)

Butler Dusts from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  The Carol Burnett Show "The Butler and the Maid" (S1003)
.........................Butler's Night Off (S14, S671b)
.........................Live-In Maid (S769)
.........................The New Maid GIF (S594b)
.........................Maid Argues With The Lady Of The House (S589, S835)
.........................Ziggy Cartoon (S1050)
.........................Short Butler Jokes

Also see LAWYER1 file - 'Lawyer And His Adulterous Wife'

Subj:     The Carol Burnett Show "The Butler and the Maid" (S1003)
          Posted by The Carol Burnett Show Official
          From: Roger Ford on Facebook on 3/30/2016
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMXEKM8w3ZU
........Click 'HERE' to see this cute skit.
Subj:     Butler's Night Off (S14, S671b)
          From: V-lewis on 97-05-03

 (Also see 'Mother Explains The Facts' in KIDS1 file
   and see 'The Widow Farmer And The Gay Ranch Hand' in FARMER2)

 This rich couple was going out for the evening when the
 woman of the house decided to give the butler, Jeeves,
 the rest of the night off.  She told Jeeves that she and
 her husband would be home very late and he should just
 enjoy his night off.

 As it turned out, the wife wasn't having a good time at
 the party and she came home early.  As she walks into the
 house she sees Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room.
 She calls for him to follow her.  She leads him into the
 master bedroom, where she closes and locks the door.  She
 looks at him and smiles.

 "Jeeves, take off my dress."  He does this very carefully.

 "Jeeves, take off my stockings and garter."  He silently
 obeys her.

 "Jeeves, remove my bra and panties."   As he does this the
 tension in the room continues to mount.  She finally looks
 at him and says, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my
 clothes again, you're fired!"

Subj:     Live-In Maid (S769)
          From: ArcaMax Jokes on 10/12/2011

 A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook
 and do the housework. They hired a lovely lass for the job.
 She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept
 the house neat.  One day, after about six months, she came
 in and said she would have to quit.

 "But why?" asked the disappointed wife.

 She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but
 the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well on my day
 off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow
 from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."

 The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you.  My husband
 and I don't have children, and we'll adopt your baby if you
 will stay."

 She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she
 would stay.  The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.

 After several months though, the maid came in again and said
 that she would have to quit.  The wife questioned her, found
 out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and
 offered to adopt the baby if she would stay.  She agreed, had
 the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual.

 In a few months, however, she again said she would have to
 leave.  Same thing.  She was pregnant. They made the same
 offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby.  She
 worked for a week or two, but then said, "I am definitely
 leaving this time."

 "Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of
 the house.

 "No," she said, "there are just too many kids here to pick
 up after."

Subj:     The New Maid (S594b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/27/2008
 Source: (Removed from buffalosjokes.com)
 (Also see 'Lawyer And His Adulterous Wife' in Lawyer1)
Subj.     Maid Argues With The Lady Of The House (S589, S835)
          From: darrellvip on 4/30/2008
      and From: jcary on 1/9/2013

 The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.  The wife was very
 upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
 She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?

 Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna
.........increaze.  The first is that I iron better than you."

 Wife:  "Who said you iron better than me?"

 Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

 Wife:  "Oh yeah?"

 Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

 Wife:  "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

 Maria: "Jor hozban did"

 Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"

 Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex
.........than you in the bed."

 Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks,
........"And did my husband say that as well?"

 Maria: "No Señora, The gardener did."

 Wife:  "So how much do you want?"

Subj:     Ziggy Cartoon (S1050)
          by Tom Wilson & Tom II on 11/29/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ziggy/2009/11/29

Subj:     Short Butler Jokes

 Q: What do you call a butler with no teeth?
 A: An in-dentured servant.

                           -(o o)-
............................From Carin De Bakker on 1/28/13