Subj: Cowboy2 Jokes
..........(Includes 44 jokes, 17 1131n,20,cf,5XT2a7a,14)
Subj: Carol Burnett Show - The Old Sheriff (S982)
From: The Carol Burnett Show (d-iFrame)
.........Click 'HERE' to see this great classic skit.
Subj: The General And The Indian Scout
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005 (S453)
An old Wild West fort is about
to be attacked. The wily
old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout.
"Scout, you must use all your
thirty years of skills for
me and try to estimate the sort of army we are up against
The trusty Indian Scout lays
down and puts his ear to the
"Heap large war party," he says,
"maybe three hundred braves,
four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions.
All have war paint. Many, many guns! Medicine man also with
"Good grief!" exclaims the General,
"you can tell all of
that just by listening to the ground?"
"NO," replied the Indian. . .
"I can see under the gate."
A True Lone Ranger Story (S546, S807)
From: virv in 2012 (d-On Site,FLV)
Photo from Paul and Sue's Hoempage
While Jay Thomas is on the Late
Show with David Letterman,
he tells a true Lone Ranger story. This is very funny
stuff. You can see this video by clicking 'HERE'.
The source video and my copy
are videos of two different
visits by Jay Thomas on the Late Show. The source is a
recent retelling of the original story told on my copy.
Subj: Cowboy Poetry - Women's Underwear (S432b, S778)
From: Dickschu in 2005
I ain't much for shopping,
Nor even goin' into town -
Except at cattle-shipping time,
I ain't too easily found.
But the day came when I had to
And I left the kids with ma.
But before I left she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"
Without thinkin' I said "Sure,"
How tough could that job be?
I bent down and kissed her
And said, "I'll be back by three"
Well, when I done the things
I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing,
I was working up a sweat.
I crossed the street to the ladies
With my hat pulled over my eyes,
I wasn't takin' any chances
On bein' recognized.
I walked up to the sales clerk
I didn't hem or haw -
I told the lady right straight out,
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."
From behind I heard some snickers,
So I turned around to see
At least fifteen women in the store
And they's all a'gawkin' at me!
"What kind would you be looking
"Well," I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before
"Thought bras was bras," I said.
She gives me a disgusted look,
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
"Come with me," I heard her say,
And like a dog, I tagged along.
She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
Well, I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
When I seen that lingerie.
They had all these different
That I'd not seen before
I thought that I'd go crazy
'fore I left that women's store.
They had bras you wear for eighteen
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.
They had bras that made you feel
Like you weren't wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.
Well, I finally make my mind
Picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
And figured I was done
But then she asked me for the
I didn't hesitate.
I knew them measurements by heart,
"Six and seven eighths, well
That really isn't right."
"Oh, yes ma'am! Yeah, I'm positive,
I just measured them last night."
I thought that she'd go into
Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.
"That's what I used to measure
I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.
By now a crowd had gathered
And they's all crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.
When she finally had it figured,
I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
My wife heard the whole story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who'd called her on the phone.
She was still a-laughing
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For no more women's underwear.
Cowboy Vacation In Alberta
From: Mel's Video of the Day
Sierra West is a true southern
Alberta working cattle
ranch. This outstanding ranch vacation welcomes
visitors who seek horseback riding holidays, cozy log
cabins, adventure of the great outdoors, personal
attention and peace and quiet in the breathtaking
landscape of South West Alberta Canada. Click
'HERE' to see the vacation of a lifetime.
Subj: The Cowboy Code (S488)
From: LABLaughsClean in 2006
I grew up in much simpler times.
Television was in its infancy,
and the idea of a hero was exemplified in the white-hatted
cowboy. There was a clarity and simplicity to such a hero's
moral code that left no doubt there is a right and wrong.
As I became more sophisticated,
it was easy to ridicule these
simplistic approaches to ethics and living. Yet the more I
learn, the more I`ve come to think there`s as much danger in
complexifying our choices into endless shades of gray.
Sure, there are extenuating factors
and exceptions that
challenge the validity of every ethical principle, but on
balance we need clear prescriptive guidelines of virtue. Such
guidelines are provided in the quaintly old-fashioned Cowboy
Code promoted by the late Gene Autry:
1. Don't shoot first, hit a
smaller man or take unfair
2. Don't go back on your word or a trust confided
3. Tell the truth.
4. Be gentle with children, the elderly and animals.
5. Don't advocate or possess racially or religiously
6. Help people in distress.
7. Be a good worker.
8. Keep yourself clean in thought, speech, action and
9. Respect women, parents and the law.
10. Be patriotic.
With a little updating, this code still works.
by John Graziano in 2009 (S677b, in College1)
Cowboy rules for:
Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado,
New Mexico, Wyoming,
Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah, Nebraska,
Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight:
it's called a 'gravel road.'
I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter
how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your
Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why
they smell like cattle.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't
like it? I-10 ? I-40 go east and west, I-17 ? I-15
goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car.
We're impressed. We
have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks
6. Every person in the Wild
West waves. It's called
being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings
while a bunch of geese/
pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt,
we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope
you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout,
salmon, deer and elk. You
really want sushi and caviar? It's available at
the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the
first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday
to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women.
That's applied to all
women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian
special' on the menu.
Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and
pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table,
there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three
spices: salt, pepper and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We
don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my
house, it better be brown,
wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane'
into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football
is as important
here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the
Lakers and the Knicks and a dang site more fun
15. Yeah, we have golf courses.
But don't hit the
water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car
stereo! That thumpity-
thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear
it any more than we want to see your boxers!
Refer back to #1!
17. Bring our troops home from
Afghanistan to guard
18. When they catch an illegal
immigrant crossing the
Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo
and ship him to Afghanistan ....
Tell him if
he wants to come to AMERICA then he
must serve a tour in OUR military....
Give him a
soldier's pay while he's there and
tax him on it......
tour, he will be allowed to become a
citizen since he defended this country..... He
will also be registered to be taxed and be a
Jim Lisk, A Cowboy Cartoonist (S766d)
Drawings by Jim Lisk
From: virv in 2011
Jim Lisk, self taught cartoonist/artist
who was raised on
a dairy ranch in eastern Washington state. He broke into
the professional freelance market selling gag cartoons to
SRI Publishing company of Fort Worth, Texas from 1968 to
1972. Click 'HERE' to see five of my favorite Lisk drawings.
Many great Lisk drawings are for sale from $500 to $1,500 at
the first source.
Subj: Old Prospector Comes To Town
From: ginafm in 2008 (S589b, S873)
(See 'Cowboy Kisses Horses Ass' in Cowboy1)
An old prospector walks his tired
old mule into a western
town one day. He'd been out in the desert for about six
months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon
he came to and tied his
old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some
of the dust from his face
and clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon
with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at
the old man and laughed,
saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'
The old man looked up at the
gunslinger and said, 'No, I
never did dance. I just never wanted to.'
A crowd had gathered by then
and the gunslinger said, 'Well,
you old fool, you're gonna dance now,' and started shooting
at the old man's feet. The old prospector was hopping
around and everybody was laughing.
When the gunslinger fired his
last bullet, he holstered his
gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the
mule, drew his shotgun, and
pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound.
The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet.
The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around
looking down both barrels of the shotgun.
The old man asked, 'Did you ever kiss a mule's ass?'
The gunslinger swallowed hard
and said, 'No. But I've
always wanted to.'
The lessons from this story are:
1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old people.
Today's The Day
..........in 2006 (S508d-iFrame)
This music video is Rodney Carrington's
very funny country
western song "Today's The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend."
You can view this video by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Top 17 Country Songs (S517)
..........From: jbcary1 in 2006
17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
16. It's Hard To Kiss the Lips
That Chewed My Ass Out All Day
15. If I Can't Be Number One
In Your Life,
Then Number Two On You
14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better
10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A
I'm Afraid She'd Win
9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I
First Wanted To,
I'd Be Out Of Prison Now
6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best
and I Sure Do Miss Him
5. She Got The Ring and I Got the Finger
4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Were Pure
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
And the Number One Country Song ---
1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed
With an Ugly Woman,
But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
Subj: Bizarro Cartoon (S641b)
By Dan Piraro in 2009
Subj: Cowboy Poetry (S310b)
..........From: truhland in 2003
Jake, the rancher, went one day
to fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty and the clouds rolled gray
As he pounded the last staples
in and gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen, the wind and snow began to blow.
When he finally reached his pickup,
he felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition, he knew it wouldn't start.
So Jake did what most of us would
do if we had been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head and sent aloft a prayer.
As he turned the key for the
last time, he softly cursed
They found him three days later, frozen stiff in that old truck.
Now Jake had been around in life
and done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked, it looked just
Of all the saints in Heaven,
his favorite was St. Peter.
(Now, this line ain't needed but it helps with rhyme and meter)
So they set and talked a minute
or two, or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping' score -- in Heaven time is free.
"I've always heard," Jake said
to Pete, "that God will answer prayer,
But one time I asked for help, well, he just plain wasn't there."
"Does God answer prayers of some,
and ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square -- I know all men are brothers."
"Or does he randomly reply, without
good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day, the weather or the season."
"Now I ain't trying to act smart,
it's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering', could you tell me -- what the heck's
Peter listened very patiently
and when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition, and he said, "So, you're
"That day your truck, it wouldn't
start, and you sent your
prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time, with hundreds of us trying."
"A thousand angels rushed, to
check the status of your file,
But you know, Jake, we hadn't heard from you in quite
a long while."
"And though all prayers are answered,
and God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice, and started a truck in Minnesota."
BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH!. Author Unknown
Great TV Cowboys (S605b)
From: darrellvip in 2008 (d-On Site,SWF)
..........Source: (Removed from greatdanepro.com)
This wonderful, video reviews
all the main cowboys who
appeared on TV and in movies. You can view it at the
by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: A Cowboy Walks Into A Bar... (S1035)
From: AFine963 in 2016
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming
from Texas, walks into
a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of
the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he
finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and
tells the cowboy, "You know, a
mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you
bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you
see, I have two brothers. One
is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left
our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to
remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking
one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this
is a nice custom, and leaves
The cowboy becomes a regular
in the bar, and always drinks
the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only
orders two mugs. All the
regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back
to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I
don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer
my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled
for a moment, then a light
dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine,"
he explains, "It's just
that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
Subj: Two Cowpokes And The Indian Head (S383b)
From: mrx in 2004
Back in the old Wild West, there
were two blond cowpokes,
Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong
sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the
bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and
says, "I hate Indians; last
week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted
my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man
brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand
The two blonds looked at each
other and walked out of the
bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around
for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock
which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off
his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two
nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out
a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take
a look at this." Dave
replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder
and says, "I really think
you should look at this."
Dave said, "Look, you can see
I'm busy. There's a
thousand dollars in my hand."
But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."
So Dave looked up and saw that
standing at the top of the
ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his
head and said, "Oh... my... God... we're going to be
Mostly Rodeo Accidents
From: edapsmas in 2008
You can view this short video
of accidents with animals
by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Top 30 Things A Texan Will Never Say
From: ICohen in 2003 (S359b)
30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fianc??, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college football team.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be
a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A TEXAN SAY:
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving.
Gunslinger Supreme (S600b)
From:LABLaughs in 2008 (d-iFrame)
Photo from YouTube.com
This gunslinger is using a post
Civil War type single-action
revolver... like John Wayne used in all those various Westerns.
The hammer has to be cocked back BEFORE each shot!
Cocked back manually!
That's why he has the glove on
the other hand,
as he is "fanning the hammer"...
I have seen "Cowboy Shooting"
and "Fast Draw"
(both certified shooting sports) experts before,
but never, ever anything like this! He is not only
FAST... but he is accurate.
And since he obviously is strictly
(i.e., not using sights), can you imagine the amount
of practice that he had to have performed to
attain this degree of "instinctive" shooting???
Wow... I must have watched this ten times.
You can see this short video by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Three Men At The Urinals (S326b)
From: LABLaughs.com in 2003
In the men's bathroom, an accountant,
a lawyer and a
cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The accountant finished, zipped
up and started washing
and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his
elbows. He used 20 paper towels before he finished. He
turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated
from the University of Michigan and they taught us to
The lawyer finished, zipped up
and quickly wet the tips
of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented,
"I graduated from the University of California and they
taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The cowboy zipped up and as he
was walking out the door
said, "I graduated from Texas Tech University and they
taught us not to piss on our hands.
Subj: Old West Phrases (S486b)
From: gattica30 in 2006
Top Ten Old West Phrases That
Will Never Sound
The Same After That Damned Gay Cowboy Movie
1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"
2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"
3. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."
4. "Howdy, pardner."
5. You stay here while I sneak around from behind."
6. Two words: "Saddle Sore."
7. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like"
8. "Let's mount up!"
9. "Nice spread ya got there!"
10. "Ride'em cowboy!"
Spur Maker Kevin Johnson
By Texas Country Reporter
..........in 2013 (S879d-iFrame)
Meet Kevin Johnson, an artist
who's known by police all over
the state, but not for breaking the law, for his custom bits,
spurs, badges, and metal engraving. Click 'HERE' to see
this happy metal engraver.
Subj: Blonde Cowboy (S436b)
From: Dickschu in 2005
The Sheriff in a small town walks
out in the street and sees
a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his
cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent
As he is locking him up, he asks
"Why in the world are you
only wearing your gun, hat and boots?"
The Cowboy says "Well it's like
this Sheriff... I was in the
bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to
go out to her motor home with her ... so I did. We go inside
and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt..
so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull
off my pants...so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and
asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did. "Then she gets on
the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to
town cowboy... "
Subj: Cowboy And The Epileptic Bride (S188)
The bronc rider carried his bride
over the threshold into the
honeymoon suite. They had taken off all their clothes and
jumped in bed, when suddenly the girl began to jerk and twitch.
"What's the matter, baby?" the man asked.
She was now shivering all over.
"I'm having an epileptic fit!"
she finally managed to say.
"Oh hell! I gotta do something
about this?" the cowboy said,
thinking quickly. He picked up the hotel phone and called the
bell captain for help. Four bellhops soon came rushing into
the room. "Quick! Grab her arms and hold her down!" the cowboy
shouted to two of them. To the other two, he directed, "Grab
her legs--hold her tight!" Hopping astraddle her, he shouted
to the straining bellhops, "Okay, fellas, cut her loose!"
Song "But I Could Be Wrong"
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2008
..........(S583c,d-iFrame in Music-Supp)
A video about celebrities that
we all can't stand, to the
music of Tim Wilson and his song titled "But I Could Be
Wrong." You can see this funny video by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Texan And His Bride Get A Room (S188)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com in 2000
A Texan and his bride ask the
hotel desk clerk for a room,
telling him they just got married that morning.
"Congratulations!" says the clerk.
Looking at the cowboy, he
asks, "Would you like the bridal then?"
"Naw, thanks," says the cowboy.
"I reckon I'll just hold
her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it.
From: darrellvip in 2007
This video demonstrates how dumb
young males can be.
Click 'HERE' to view it.
Subj: Cowboy And Cowgirl On Their Honeymoon
From: thebartend in 2000 (S191)
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl
decided to get married.
After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While
driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having
sex. The new bride asks with a sly grin, "What are they
doing honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" She
replies, "Oh, I see!" while trying to hide her knowing
After a few more hours of driving
they pass two horses
having sex. Again the bride asks, "What are they doing
honey?" The husband answers, "They're roping!" She replies,
"Oh, I see!"
Finally they arrive at their
hotel. The couple washed up
and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the
bed, they started to explore each others body. The bride
discovers her husbands penis.
"What is that?" she asks.
"That's my rope," he answers.
She slides her hands down further and gasps,
"What are those?" she asks
"They're my knots," he answers.
Finally the couple begins to
make love. After several
minutes the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute!
Her husband asks, "What's the
matter honey, am I hurting
"No," the bride replies, "undo those knots, I need more rope.
Patrick Stewart Cowboy Classics
From: Vickie Lee Smiley
..........in 2018 (S1115d-On Site)
Subj: Boy Sees His First Cowboy (S167)
From: ipkis in 1997
A man and his son recently moved
to Texas. One Saturday
afternoon they decided to take a walk through the park.
During the walk the boy sees 2 cowboys walk by.
"Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!"
The father is surprised by this
and tells his son that that
is not very nice language to use.
A few minutes later, 2 more cowboys
walk by and again the
boy yells, "Dad, look at thoses bow legged bastards!"
The father, quite upset now turns
to his son and says, "I
told you not to say that and I do not want to hear it
again, or else."
just a few minutes go by and
another pair of cowboys
walk by and once again the child yells, "Dad, look at those
"Thats it!" the father yells,
and takes the child home and
locks him in his room with the complete works of Shakespeare.
Two weeks later, he lets his
son out and notices that
he has taken to speaking like Shakespeare wrote. This
impressed the father so he decided to take his son out
for another walk through the park.
As they were walking a pair of cowboys walk past them.
The boy turns to his father and
says, "Father, what strange
men are these, whose balls hang in parenthises?"
Subj: More Short Cowboy Jokes
Rare Pictures Of The Old Wild West - PPS (S799)
From: tom in 2012
Quotation from LegendsOf America.com
A Cowboy's Headstone
From: allenbergman (S658)
in 2009 (in Epitaphs)
Subj: Bull Riding - Cartoon (S444 in Cowboy-pics)
From: darrell94590 in 2005
Subj: Why Cowboys Live So Long (S427b)
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he
wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a
pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously
and lived to the age of
110. He left 4 children, 20 grand-children, 30
great-grandchildren, 10 great-great-grand-children and a
fifty-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
Davy Crockett At The Alamo
From: ginafm in 2007 (S551)
Photo from Mrs. McGowan's First Grade
As the three gazed at the hordes
of Mexicans moving steadily
towards them, Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his
face and asked, "Jim . . .are we landscaping today?"
..........in 2006 (S482)
Second Texas Limo (S436b)
From: darrell94590 in 2005
From: virv in 2012 (S787)
"Life's tough... It's even tougher if you're stupid."
-- John Wayne
Q: How can you tell if a cowboy
A: His horn is in the middle of his saddle.
Q: What's the difference between
a straight rodeo, and
a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo, they shout "RIDE THAT SUCKER !"
Q: What's the true definition
of a REAL TEXAN?
A: A Mexican on his way to Oklahoma.
Q: Why do all Texans have 2"
A: So they can tow each others trailers.
Q: Why do cowboys make poor lovers?
A: Because they think eight seconds is a good ride.
Q: How are a Texas tornado and
a Tennessee divorce the same?
A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #297 - Quickies!
Q: Do you know how West Virginians practice safe sex?
A: They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
From: igiggle in 2004 (S381b)
Q: Who wears a black mask and always smells great?
A: The Cologne Ranger.
............................Cowboy from Smiley_Central.