Subj: Firemen Jokes
......(Inc 38 jokes, 04 1125,20,cf,wXT2a8a,14)
......L5 Update

Fire truck from
Steve Gibbs
Includes the following:  The Los Prietos Crew At Rough Fire - Photo (DU)
.........................Fire on Main St. In Middletown - Video (S972)
.........................Southern California Fire In 2017 - Cell Phone Video (S1091)
.........................Roasting Marshmallows (S721)
.........................Fire Truck Drives Through Flood - Video (S954)
.........................Fire Truck w/Dog Passes Van w/Kids (S147, S645c)
.........................A Life Lesson f/Volunteer Firefighter - Video (S742)
.........................The Little Fireman (S156, S392)
.........................The Kiss ... - Photo (S492)
.........................Fireman Sex (S316, S601c)
.........................The Littlest Fireman (S459)
.........................Kitchen Fire - Video (S607c)
.........................Fireman's Hand In Smoke - Painting (S1125)
.........................Fireman Gets Cancer (S488c)
.........................Fireman's Revenge (S451)
.........................Italian Firefighterst (S323b, S576b)
.........................Mickey's Fire Brigand - Video (S563b)
.........................Short Firefighter (S261, DU)
.........................Mother Dog Rescues Pups (S855)
.........................Fire Horses Being Harnessed In 1903 - Video (S1026)
.........................Eric, A Firefighter In Denmark - Video (S1119)
.........................Short Firemen Jokes
..............................Stoned Fireman - Video (S673)
..............................Why Dalmatians Are Firehouse Mascots (S362b)
..............................The Red Sparrows - Video (S665b)
..............................Blonde Calls Fire Department (S313b)
..............................Fire Angel (S585b)
..............................The Pregnant Fireman (S527c)
..............................Firemen Lift Car - Video (S568)
..............................Firemen Practice On Jaws Of Life (S302b)
..............................The 2010 Naked Fireman Calendar (S682b)
..............................Seasonal Fireman Needs Money (S249)

Also see ACCIDENT1....- 'Its A Bad Day When......'
......................- 'Launched On The Fourth Of July ...'
         ARAB file    - '15 Schoolgirls Die In Blaze'
         CAT file     - 'Fire Dept to the Rescue!'
         COLLEGE1 file- 'UCF Student Set Dorm Fire To Meet Women'
         COMPUTRS-SUP2- 'Siri - 'Why Are Fire Trucks Red?''
         DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Warehouse Burns'
......................- 'Factory Fire'
         ENGLISHMN-SUP- 'Fawlty Towers Fire Drill' - BBC Comedy Video
         FUNERAL file - 'Mortician At His Class Reunion'
         GAY file     - 'Two Firemen Caught Butt-Fucking'
         GOLF3 file   - 'A Series Of Unfortunate Events'
         MUSIC file   - 'Britney Spears And Candles'
         POLICE file  - 'Police Officer Comes Home Early'
         POLISH file  - 'British, American, & Pollack In Burning Building'
         REDNECK3     - 'Redneck Navitity Scene'
         REDNECK-SUPP - 'Redneck Fire Alarm'
         TEAR-JERKER3 - 'Daddy's Pink Rose'

Subj:     The Los Prietos Crew At Rough Fire
          From: Connie L Werth in 2015 (DU)
 Source: www.wildfiretoday.com/photos
Subj:     Fire on Main St. In Middletown (S972)
          From: LC Scanner in 2015 (d-On Site)
 Source: (Removed from youtube.com)
.......Click 'HERE' to watch this sad, 20 sec video.
Subj:     Southern California Fire In 2017
          From: Jane Seaman Hernandez
..........on 12/7/2017 (S1091d-On Site)
..........At: www.youtube.com/embed/LNggxBEesA8
 Click 'HERE' to see this scene in California is straight
 out of a Roland Emmerich film - Fire In California.

Subj:     Roasting Marshmallows (S721)
          From: ezines@arcamax.com in 2010

 As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed
 out marshmallows and long roasting forks.  Just then, two
 fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing.  They
 stopped at a house right down the block.

 All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street,
 where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by
 helplessly.  The firemen glared at us with looks of disgust.

 Suddenly, we realized why.........we were all still holding
 our roasting forks with marshmallows on them...

Subj:     Fire Truck Drives Through Flood (S954)
          From: Meetville's video (d-On Site)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/3h3_IZWhX0g
.......Click 'HERE' to see this fire truck go through
....................eleven feet of water.
Subj:     Fire Truck w/Dog Passes Van w/Kids
          From: PGSP4LIFE in 1999 (S147, S645c)

 A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full
 of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting
 in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.  The
 children fell to discussing the dog's duties.

 "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

 "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

 A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the
 dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Subj:     Mark Bezos: A Life Lesson From
.............A Volunteer Firefighter
          in 2011 (S742d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/sAQfzHBpRsc
 Source2: www.wimp.com/volunteerfirefighter/

 Volunteer firefighter Mark Bezos tells a story of an
 act of heroism that didn't go quite as expected --
 but that taught him a big lesson: Don't wait to be a
 hero.  Click 'HERE' to see this nice TED video.

Subj:     The Little Fireman (S156, S392)
          From: jbcary1 in 2004

 A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a
 little boy playing on the sidewalk.  He had small ladders hung
 on the side of his little red wagon, and a garden hose coiled
 up in it. He was wearing a fireman's hat.

 He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull
 the wagon. The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went
 out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he

 As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his
 testicles.  The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to tell you
 how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you
 would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster."

 "Maybe so," said the little boy, "but then I'd lose my siren!"

Subj:     The Kiss ... (S492)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2006
..........At: (Removed from lablaughs.com)

 He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her
 by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while
 he continued to fight the fire.

 She was pregnant.

 When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to
 catch his breath and rest.

 A photographer from the  "The Observer," noticed her in the
 distance looking at the fireman.

 He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered
 what she was going to do.

 As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had
 saved her life and the lives of her babies, and kissed him,
 just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

 Click 'HERE' to see the photo.  It's worth the click.

Subj:     Fireman Sex (S316, S601c)
          From: darrellvip in 2008

 A fireman came home from work and told his wife, "We have a
 great system at the fire station.  Bell 1 rings and we all
 put on our jackets.  Then Bell 2 rings and we all slide down
 the pole.  Bell 3 rings and we're all set to go on the

 "From now on," he continued, "this house will be run the
 same way.  When I say Bell 1, you're to strip naked.  When I
 say Bell 2, you jump into bed and when I say Bell 3, we're
 going to make love all night."

 When he came home the next night, he yelled Bell 1 and his
 wife took off her clothes.  Then he yelled Bell 2 and his
 wife jumped into bed.  He then yelled Bell 3 and they began
 to make love.

 After a few minutes, his wife shouted, "Bell 4!"

 "What the hell is Bell 4?" he asked.

 "More hose!  You're nowhere near the fire!" she replied.

Subj:     The Littlest Fireman 
          From: rfslick
..........in 2005 (S459)

 The 26-year-old mother stared down at her son who was
 dying of terminal leukemia.  Although her heart was
 filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of
 determination.  Like any parent she wanted her son to
 grow up and fulfill all his dreams.  Now that was no
 longer possible.  The leukemia would see to that.
 But she still wanted her son's dreams to come true.
 She took her son's hand and asked, "Billy, did you
 ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew
 up?  Did you ever dream and wish what you would do
 with your life?"

 "Mommy, I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew
 up."  Mom smiled back and said, "Let's see if we can
 make your wish come true."

 Later that day she went to her local fire department
 in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who
 had a heart as big as Phoenix.  She explained her
 son's final wish and asked if it might be possible
 to give her six year old son a ride around the block
 on a fire engine.  Fireman Bob said, "Look, we can
 do better than that.  If you'll have your son ready
 at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an
 honorary fireman for the whole day.  He can come down
 to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the
 fire calls, the whole nine yards!  "And if you'll
 give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for
 him, with a real fire hat - not a toy one - with the
 emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow
 slicker like we wear and rubber boots.  They are all
 manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get
 them fast."

 Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed
 him in his fire uniform and escorted him from his
 hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck.
 Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help
 steer it back to the fire station.  He was in heaven.
 There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and
 Billy got to go out on all three calls.  He rode in
 the different fire engines, the paramedic's van, and
 even the fire chief's car.  He was also videotaped
 for the local news program.  Having his dream come
 true, with all the love and attention that was
 lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy that he
 lived three months longer than any doctor thought

 One night all of his vital signs began to drop
 dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the
 hospice concept that no one should die alone, began
 to call the family members to the hospital.  Then
 she remembered the day Billy had spent as a fireman,
 so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would
 be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the
 hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.
 The chief replied, "We can do better than that.  We
 will be there in five minutes.  Will you please do
 me a favor?  When you hear the sirens screaming and
 see the lights flashing, will you announce over
 the PA system that there is not a fire?  It's just
 the fire department coming to see one of its finest
 members one more time.  And will you open the window
 to his room?

 About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck
 arrived at the hospital, extended its ladder up to
 Billy's third floor open window and 16 firefighters
 climbed up the ladder into Billy's room.  With his
 mother's permission, they hugged him and held him
 and told him how much they loved him.  With his
 dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and
 said, "Chief, am I really a fireman now?"  "Billy,
 you are," the chief said. With those words, Billy
 smiled and closed his eyes one last time.

 Checked on Snopes.com at

Subj:     Kitchen Fire (S607c,d-iFrame)
          From: tom in 2008
..........At: www.youtube.com/X6ezSxxwM3U

 Read first then watch the video.

 I never realized that a wet dishcloth can be a one size
 fits all lid to cover a fire in a pan!

 This is a dramatic video (30-second, very short) about how
 to deal with a common kitchen fire... oil in a frying pan.
 Read the following Introduction, then watch the show ...
 It's a real eye-opener!!

 At the Fire Fighting Training school they would demonstrate
 this with a deep fat fryer set on the fire field.  An
 instructor would don a fire suit and using an 8 oz cup at
 the end of a 10 foot pole toss water onto the grease fire.

 The results got the attention of the students.  The water,
 being heavier than oil, sinks to the bottom where it
 instantly becomes superheated.  The explosive force of the
 steam blows the burning oil up and out.  On the open field,
 it became a thirty foot high fireball that resembled a
 nuclear blast.  Inside the confines of a kitchen, the fire
 ball hits the ceiling and fills the entire room.

 Also, do not throw sugar or flour on a grease fire.  One
 cup of either creates the explosive force of two sticks of

 Click 'HERE' to see the video.

Subj:     Fireman's Hand In Smoke (S1125)
          From: Roger Ford and Kenneth Wallstrom in 2018
 Source: www.pinterest.com/pin/757097387327964574/
Subj:     Fireman Gets Cancer (S488c)
          BY STEVE WARMBIR Staff Reporter Advertisement
          At Chicago Sun-Times in 2005
 Source: (removed from suntimes.com)

 Ronald Michalowicz, a fire inspector for the village of
 Bedford Park, was given a 27 percent chance to live as he
 battled a rare form of tongue cancer.

 The community rallied around him, raising about $25,000
 to help.

 He fought the cancer into remission.

 But the village where he had worked for 28 years fired him
 for taking the contributions, in alleged violation of the
 Illinois Gift Ban Act and village code prohibiting employees
 from soliciting gifts that could affect their decision-making.

 On Friday, Michalowicz sued Bedford Park, its mayor and
 village board in federal court for allegedly violating his
 rights.  "The emotional stress I'm going through is unbeliev-
 able," Michalowicz said.

 'His crime . . . he recovered'

 His attorney, Michael Ettinger, said he doesn't understand
 why the village fired his client.

 "His crime seems to be that he recovered from cancer," said
 Ettinger, who is representing Michalowicz with attorney
 Richard S. Zachary.

 Michalowicz was diagnosed with cancer in 2003 and continued
 working until March 2004 while undergoing chemotherapy.  He
 left work when brutal radiation treatments began.  He lost
 107 pounds.

 In January 2004, two colleagues at the village decided to
 solicit donations to help Michalowicz pay his mounting bills.

 A building inspector, Steve Edwards, cleared a form letter
 with the mayor at the time, Ronald Robison, to ask for

 "It just seemed like the right thing to do," said Robison,
 who is no longer mayor.  Michalowicz looked so bad the mayor
 figured he was never coming back to work.

 In January 2005, Michalowicz did return.  In July, he got
 a letter from his fire chief stating he was being invest-
 igated for having "accepted gifts of cash and/or property
 from businesses or individuals associated with businesses
 that are subject to fire inspection," among other alleged

 Wants fire inspector job back

 A village attorney did not return a message requesting

 Michalowicz argues he has no conflict.  After he returned
 to work, he notes, he wrote up four businesses that contri-
 buted to his fund.

 Michalowicz wants damages from the village and his job
 back -- a job he loved.

 At 54, he had a year left with the village before he
 could retire.

Subj:     Fireman's Revenge (S451)
          From: darrell94590 in 2005
Subj:     Itailian Firefighters (S323b, S576b)
          From: RFSlick in 2003 and 2008

 One dark night in the small town of Garfield , NJ, a fire
 started inside the local sausage factory.  In a blink the
 building was engulfed in flames.  The alarm went out to
 all the fire departments for miles around.

 When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the
 scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire
 chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in
 the vault in the center of the plant.  They must be saved.
 I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings
 them out and delivers them to me."

 But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.  Soon
 more fire departments had to be called in because the
 situation became desperate.  As the firemen arrived, the
 president shouted out that the offer to extricate the
 secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department
 that could save them.

 Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as
 another fire truck came into sight.  It was the fire
 engine of the nearby Lodi, NJ volunteer fire department
 composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65.

 To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine,
 operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire
 engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into
 the middle of the inferno.  Outside, the other firemen
 watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off
 and began to fight the fire with a performance that was
 as if they were fighting to save their own lives Within a
 short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire
 and saved the secret recipes.

 The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced
 that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping
 the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally
 thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.

 A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film.
 The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief,
 "What are you going to do with all that money?"

 "Wella," said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70-
 year-old fire chief, "de fursta tinga we gonnna do isza
 fixa uppa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!"

Subj:     Mickey's Fire Brigand (S563b,d-iFrame)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2007
..........At: www.youtube.com/kSfyFytXrR8

 This 1935 Disney Cartoon directed by Ben Sharpsteen is funny
 and well done.  Click 'HERE'. to watch Mickey Mouse, Donald
 Duck, and Goofy are a fire department during a house fire.

Subj:     Short Firefighter (S261, DU)
          From: jerry in 2002

 A 5 ft 1 inch firefighter in the UK who, being so short:
 · Cannot reach equipment on the fire truck,
 · Cannot pull the hoses from the fire truck,
 · Cannot lift ladders because they are too long,
 · Cannot clean the fire engine because she cannot reach
   all areas,
 · Cannot use cutting equipment on large commercial
   vehicles and,
 · Cannot reach the emergency keys in an elevator and so
   cannot handle emergencies involving elevators

 She has become embarrassed and depressed and so has
 decided to SUE the fire brigade for:
 · Not making shorter fire trucks so she can reach
   equipment, pull hoses and clean all areas,
 · Not using shorter ladders,
 · Not making smaller cutting equipment and smaller
   commercial vehicles
 · Not making sure all elevators have keys she can reach

 She is claiming sexual discrimination.  Huh???

 UK Telegraph 30-Jan-02

Subj:     Mother Dog Rescues Pups (S855)
          By Victoria Cavaliere
..........of NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
          From: darrelldre in 2013
 Source: hwww.nydailynews.com/news/world/mother-dog-rescues-

  Read before opening pictures.

 NEW YORK DAILY NEWS on Saturday, August 11, 2012

 There's little a mother wouldn't do to save her babies, and
 that includes rescuing them one-by-one from a house fire.

 Photos of a dog in Chile apparently carrying all five of
 her 10-day-old puppies from a burning house then placing
 them in the back of a fire truck made the rounds on social
 media Saturday.

 Chilean newspaper Soy Chile said the mother dog, named
 Amanda, and all but one of her puppies survived the blaze.
 One pup, named Amparo according to the paper, died of severe

 All of the surviving dogs were taken to a local veterinarian
 to recover.

 Click 'HERE' to see photos of this heroic dog and her pups.

Subj:     Fire Horses Being Harnessed In 1903
          From: Claudia Rook
..........in 2016 (S1026d-iFrame)
..........At: www.youtube.com/rJ0FuUBZtUI
 Click 'HERE' to check out this little movie of fire horses
 being harnessed, ca. 1903. Watch how fast a team can harness
 and be out the door--faster than modern fire engines. 

Subj:     Eric, A Firefighter
.............In Denmark
          From: NTD Inspired Life
..........in 2018 (S1119d-On Site)
 Source: www.youtube.com/g-5rDc7M248

 Click 'HERE' to see this amazing, true story of when
 Eric, a 28-year-old firefighter in Denmark, received
 a mysterious call from a stranger begging for help!

Subj:     Short Firemen Jokes

Subj:     Stoned Fireman (S673d-On Site)
          From: Wimp.com in 2009
          At: www.wimp.com/stonedfireman/
 The Jimmy Kimmel Live Talk Show took a news story about a
 fire in San Diego, and made this funny, short skit.  Click
 'HERE' to view this video.

Subj:     Why Dalmatians Are Firehouse Mascots (S362b)
          From: igiggle in 2003
 Bred as coach dogs, Dalmatians would run alongside horse-
 drawn carriages to guard against highwaymen.  Because of
 its inbred love of horses, vivid coloring and ability to
 go long distances, the Dalmatian was a natural choice as
 the animal to accompany the horse-drawn fire engine,
 warning onlookers to clear the way.

Subj:     The Red Sparrows (d-iFrame)
..........(S665b, in Englishman)
          From: rfslick in 2009
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/f_lXqMmevog
 The Red Sparrows is a bunch of English Firemen in little
 planes perform death defying stunts with less than realistic
 props, what a laugh!  Click 'HERE' to see this cute, strange

Subj:     Blonde Calls Fire Department (S313b)
          From: RFSlick in 1998
 A blonde called the fire department.  She screams into the
 phone.  "Hurry, Come Quick! My house is on fire."
 The fire chief replied, "OK, but how do we get to your house?"
 The blonde said, "Duh, use the red truck!"

Subj:     Fire Angel
          From: lauracollins07
..........in 2008 (S585b)
 This "Fire Angel Ice Sculpture" is quite moving.
 Click 'HERE' to see it.

Subj:     The Pregnant Fireman (S527c)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2007
 Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
 said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down
 the ladder pregnant."  The teacher took the lad aside to
 correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
 Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a

Subj:     Firemen Lift Car
          From: darrellvip
..........in 2007 (S568d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/I66rsg2DaHw
 In this video, firemen lift a car using hoses.  This is
 very strange.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Firemen Practice On Jaws Of Life (S302b)
          From: jerry in 2002
 Some firefighters in Framingham, Massachusetts, practiced
 using the Jaws of Life tool to cut up the WRONG CAR.
 Antonio Rocha parked his 1998 Honda behind the fire
 department's headquarters only to return later to find
 his car had been cut up and that it no longer had a roof
 or doors.

 WPVI Channel 6 (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) 10-Nov-02

Subj:     The 2010 Naked Fireman Calendar (S682b)
          From: sam.hutkins in 2010 (d-On Site)
Drawing from MiddleTownSchools.org
 Source: www.timeanddate.com/calendar/
 Click 'HERE' to see "The 2010 Naked Fireman Calendar."

Subj:     Seasonal Fireman Needs Money (S249)
          From: jerry in 2001
 Bonehead award three goes to a Southern California seasonal
 (summertime) firefighter, paid for each fire he fought, who
 was arrested for starting forest fires that his unit would
 need to respond to, according to fellow firefighters who
 noticed he always started warming up the fire engine just
 before the fires were called in. (from KOOI radio)


 One day this guys house was on fire so he decided he
 better call the fire department.  He got on the phone
 with the chief and the man was very frantic.  The man
 said chief you have to get over her my house is on
 fire.  The chief says calm down, how do we get to your
 house, and the man said you don't have those big red
 trucks anymore!  --  Anthony Makoski

 The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from
 the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses.
 The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured
 out how to walk up straight staircases.

 Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted
 people without killing them used to burn their houses down
 - hence the expression "to get fired."

 Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a
 blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short
 in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm
 system.  "This is even worse than last year," said the
 distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my
 new security system..."

 In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt
 down but only 6 people were injured.

 A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex
 with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges,
 the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man
 does not receive any punishment.


From: RFSlick in 1998
 Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

 Q: What word begins with F and ends with UCK?
 A: Firetruck.

From: RFSlick in 1998
 Q: Why do firemen use dogs during a fire?
 A: To find the fire hidrant.

                           -(o o)-
..............................Fireman from Smiley_Central