Subj:     Job Related Stuff-Supp2
                 (Includes 29 jokes and articles, 03 1094n,21,cL2f,vXT5b,19)


Electric Shock
on 1/30/2004
Includes the following:  Best Flow Chart... (S716b)
.........................Coffee Shop Worker Quits Via Song - Video (S821d)
.........................Let's Raise Kids To Be Entrepreneurs - TED Video (S735)
.........................Dilbert Comic Strip (S1048)
.........................Don't Look Away When I'm Talking to You - Video (S787)
.........................Nigel Marsh - Work Life Balance - Video (S729)
.........................Jenny Quits Her Job - Video (S723)
.........................Secrets To Success - Video (S722)
.........................Napoleon Hill - Think And Grow Rich - Video (S722)
.........................Aqua-Thermal Treatment (S1066)
.........................Surprise Party Turns Embarrassing - Video (S715)
.........................BP Spills Coffee - Video (S706)
.........................Companies That Use Acronyms Or Initials (S699b)
.........................The Boss Returned From Lunch (S714b)
.........................RSA Animate - Smile Or Die - Video (S696)
.........................Human Resource Dictionary (S241)
.........................Drive: The Surprising Science Of Motivation - Video (S696)
.........................The New "Family Pack" Hefty Bags (S275)
.........................Making Plastic Eco-Friendly - Video (S834)
.........................Stock Market Terminology (S305b, S610b)
.........................Jason Fried: Why Work Doesn't Happen At Work - Video (S725)
.........................Stock Prices (S314)
.........................How To Find And Do Work You Love - TED Video (S866)
.........................How To Attend A Meeting
.........................Changing Company Names (S222)
.........................Short Job-Stuff Files
..............................Dilbert Cartoons: Dogbert's Consult Video (S887)
..............................The GIF - Office Essentials (S428)
..............................Calvin and Hobbes Sunday Comic Strip (S793)
..............................Moving Furniture (S728)
..............................Best-Known Consumer Brand Logos (S699b)
..............................Successful New Business (S711b)

Subj:     Best Flow Chart... (S716b) 
          From: tom on 9/30/2010
 Source: www.flickr.com/photos/nebraskanag/4326615955/
............When top level guys look down,
...............they see only shitheads.
............When bottom level guys look up,
...............they see only assholes.
Subj:     Coffee Shop Worker Quits Via Song
          From: Wimp.com in 2012 
 Source1: www.wimp.com/quitjob/
 Source2: www.youtube.com/embed/oqtaNPOitlw

 This month on the "Steve Harvey" show, Phil Sipka quit his
 job of three years as a barista at the trendy Robust Coffee
 Lounge in Chicago in October, and delivered his resignation
 via song -- backed up by a quintet of backup singers known
 as The Voices.  Click 'HERE' to see this cute, but probably
 rigged resignation.

Subj:     Cameron Herold: Let's Raise Kids 
             To Be Entrepreneurs
          in 2011 (S735d-iFrame
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/nx3GuO41Jyg

 Bored in school, failing classes, at odds with peers:
 This child might be an entrepreneur, says Cameron Herold.
 At TEDxEdmonton, he makes the case for parenting and
 education that helps would-be entrepreneurs flourish --
 as kids and as adults. Filmed in Edmonton, Canada.

 Click 'HERE' to see this enlightening, twenty-two minute video.

Subj:     Dilbert Comic Strip (S1048)
          By Scott Adams on 2/4/2017
 Source: www.dilbert.com/strip/2017-02-04
Subj:     Don't Look Away When
.............I'm Talking to You
..........From: tom in 12 (S787d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/KAqEBCB9MaQ

 This guy gets distracted while his woman boss is talking to him,
 but she has a trick to teach him a lesson he will not forget.
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, very funny skit.

Subj:     Nigel Marsh - Work Life Balance
          From: Wimp.com in 2011 (S729d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/SXM7MpoVAD0
 Source2: www.wimp.com/worklife/

 Nigel Marsh is the bestselling author of "Fat, Forty and
 Fired" and "Overworked and Underlaid" and the Regional
 Group CEO of Young and Rubicam Brands for Australia and
 New Zealand.  Finding the balance between work and life
 is an ongoing battle.  Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful
 TEDxSydney2010 video.

Subj:     Jenny Quits Her Job
          From: brucejohnsonbaugh
..........in 2010 (S723d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/B9G5_wULwYI
 Source2: www.cbsnews.com/8301-501465_162-20013296-501465.html

 The 33-image pictorial story of an attractive woman quit-
 ting her job (and getting back at her chauvinist boss)
 with messages on a dry-erase board, which went viral to
 the tune of 250,000 Facebook shares, was a hoax.
In truth, "Jenny"
is an aspiring
actress named
Elyse Porterfield
who answered an
ad placed by the
image web site
Chive, which posted
the photos.

But the 33 photos
of a "Girl quits
her job on dry
erase board" are
quite cute.

 You can see a video of the 33 photos by clicking 'HERE'.
 You can see the photos and read about the hoax at Source2.

Subj:     Secrets To Success (S722d-iFrame)
          From: Wimp.com on 11/17/2010
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/5fsm-QbN9r8

 In this video, Eric Thomas, aka the Hip Hop Preacher,
 share his secrets to success with MSU students.  Please
 visit http://etthehiphoppreacher.com/ for Eric's official
 website.  Click 'HERE' to listen to this modern success speaker.

Subj:     Napoleon Hill -
.............Think And Grow Rich
          in 2010 (S722d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/IMf1aeZeboQ

 Think and Grow Rich! (ISBN 1-59330-200-2) is a classic
 motivational book. Written by Napoleon Hill and inspired
 by Andrew Carnegie, it was published in 1937 at the end
 of the Great Depression.  Click 'HERE' to see and listen
 to Napoleon Hill.

Subj:     Aqua-Thermal Treatment (S1066)
          From: AFine963 on 6/15/2017
 Source: www.medium.com/urshadoww/aqua-thermal-treatment-559550eb45bd

 (AKA - The Value of A Good Vocabulary)

 I called an old USC classmate and asked what he was doing.

 He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of
 ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

 I was impressed...

 Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes
 with hot water under his wife's supervision.

Subj:     Surprise Party Turns Embarrassing
          From: FunniestStuff.net
          in 2010 (S715d-On Site, in Birthday)
 Source: www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xagkje

 A guy is blindfolded and led into a room by his office
 girlfriend thinking he's about to get lucky.  Click on
 'HERE' to see this very funny, naughty video.

Subj:     BP Spills Coffee
          Made by UCBComedy.com 
..........in 2010 (S706d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/2AAa0gd7ClM

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute parody of our gulf oil spill.

Subj:     Companies That Use Acronyms Or Initials
          From: tom on 6/6/2010 (S699b)
Drawing from The Digital Skyline

 Click 'HERE' to learn about sixteen companies who use
 acronyms or initials in their title.

Subj:     The Boss Returned From Lunch (S714b)
          From: ezines@arcamax.com on 9/8/2010

 The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the
 whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked
 up.  Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

 "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a
 sense of humor?"

 "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."

Subj:     RSA Animate - Smile Or Die
          By Barbara Ehrenreich
..........in 2010 (S696d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/u5um8QWWRvo

 Acclaimed journalist, author and political activist
 Barbara Ehrenreich explores the darker side of pos-
 itive thinking.  Click 'HERE' to see this very
 revealing video.

Subj:     Human Resource Dictionary (S241)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/10/2001

 We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

 We have no time to train you.

 We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

 You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

 Some time each night and some time each weekend.

 Anyone in the office can boss you around.

 We have no quality control.

 Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

 If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position
 has been filled.

 We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a
 legal formality.

 You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

 You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

 You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without
 the pay or respect.

 Management communicates, you listen, figure out what
 they want and do it.

Subj:     Drive: The Surprising Science Of Motivation
          By Dan Pink and www.theRSA.org
          in 2010 (S696d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/u6XAPnuFjJc
 Source2: www.wimp.com/surprisingmotivation/

 This lively RSA Animate, adapted from Dan Pink's talk at the RSA,
 illustrates the hidden truths behind what really motivates us at
 home and in the workplace. Click 'HERE' to see what really motivate us.

Subj:     The New "Family Pack" Hefty Bags (S275)
          From: jerry on 5/6/2002

 The new "Family Pack" Hefty Lawn and Leaf Bags come 38 bags
 in a box.  They used to come 40 bags in a box.  Yet the
 newer box with 2 fewer bags has a big yellow star proclaiming
 "Now more bags!"

 What the???  How does this add up?

 According to a spokesperson at Pactiv Corporation, the
 maker of Hefty bags, they perform this magic by having
 declared one day that the new "Family Pack" size would
 be 35 bags, instead of 40 bags, and then, quicker than
 you can say, "where's my money?," they bumped the "Family
 Pack" size to 38 bags therefore, they say, permitting
 them to boast that they've added three more bags to the
 "Family Pack."

 No change in price either, by the way, in case you don't
 yet feel completely irritated.

 Consumer Reports - June, 2002

Subj:     Making Plastic Eco-Friendly
          From: Wimp.com 
..........in 2012 (S834d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.wimp.com/plantplastic/
 Source2: www.youtube.com/embed/5wapCKMwAw4

 Cereplast CEO Frederic Scheer talks about his company's
 work on compostable bioplastic.  Click 'HERE' to hear
 about the benefits of compostable bioplastic.

Subj:     Stock Market Terminology (S305b, S610b)
          From: RFSlick on 12/3/2002
      and From: gattica30 on 10/7/2008

 These terms have been updated to fit today's times:

 CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 BULL MARKET -- A random market  movement causing an
 investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month  period when the kids
 get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry

 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
 pants as the market keeps crashing.

 BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 STANDARD and POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
 assets  equally between themselves.

 FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A person whose phone has been disconnected.

 MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 CASH  FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it
 disappears down the toilet.

 YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
 for $240 per share.

 WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker
 who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past week investor
 who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

Subj:     Jason Fried: Why Work Doesn't Happen
             At Work (S725d-iFrame)
          From: Wimp.com in 2010
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/5XD2kNopsUs
 Source2: www.wimp.com/workhappen/

 Jason Fried has a radical theory of working: that the
 office isn't a good place to do it.  At TEDxMidwest he
 lays out the main problems (call them the MandMs) and
 offers three suggestions to make work work.  Click
 'HERE' to see this too true video.

Subj:     Stock Prices (S314)
          From: cappucid on 2/7/2003

 Stock Market Report ---

 Helium was up, feathers were down.
 Paper was stationary.
 Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
 Knives were up sharply.
 Cows steered into a bull market.
 Pencils lost a few points.
 Hiking equipment was trailing.
 Elevators rose, while escalators continued their
    slow decline.
 Weights were up in heavy trading.
 Light switches were off.
 Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
 Diapers remained unchanged.
 Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
 The market for raisins dried up.
 Coca-Cola fizzled.
 Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
 Sun peaked at midday.
 Balloon prices were inflated.
 Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
 And batteries exploded in an attempt
      to recharge the market.

Subj:     How To Find And Do Work You Love
          By Scott Dinsmore
          in 10/10/2013 (S866d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/jpe-LKn-4gM
 Source2: www.wimp.com/findwork/

 Scott Dinsmore's mission is to change the world by helping
 people find what excites them and build a career around
 the work only they are capable of doing.  He is a career
 change strategist whose demoralizing experience at a
 Fortune 500 job launched his quest to understand why 80%
 of adults hate the work they do, and more importantly, to
 identify what the other 20% were doing differently.

 Click 'HERE' to hear this great TEX talk.

Subj:     How To Attend A Meeting

 To really succeed in a business or organization, it is some-
 times helpful to know what your job is, and whether it
 involves any duties.  Ask among your coworkers.  "Hi," you
 should say.  "I'm a new employee.  What is the name of my
 job?"  If they answer "long-range planner" or "lieutenant
 governor," you are pretty much free to lounge around and do
 crossword puzzles until retirement.

 Most jobs, however, will require some work.

 There are two major kinds of work in modern organizations:

 1. Taking phone messages for people who are in meetings, and,
 2. Going to meetings.

 Your ultimate career strategy will be to get a job involving
 primarily #2, going to meetings, as soon as possible, because
 that's where the real prestige is.  It is all very well and
 good to be able to take phone messages, but you are never
 going to get a position of power, a position where you can
 cost thousands of people their jobs with a single bonehead
 decision, unless you learn how to attend meetings.

 The first meeting ever was held back in the Mezzanine Era.
 In those days, Man's job was to slay his prey and bring it
 home for Woman, who had to figure out how to cook it.  The
 problem was, Man was slow and basically naked, whereas the
 prey had warm fur and could run like an antelope.  (In fact
 it was an antelope, only nobody knew this).

 At last someone said, "Maybe if we just sat down and did
 some brainstorming, we could come up with a better way to
 hunt our prey!"  It went extremely well, plus it was much
 warmer sitting in a circle, so they agreed to meet again
 the next day, and the next.

 "But the women pointed out that, prey-wise, the men had
 not produced anything, and the human race was pretty much
 starving.  The men agreed that was serious and said they
 would put it right near the top of their "agenda".  At
 this point, the women, who were primitive but not stupid,
 started eating plants, and thus modern agriculture was
 born.  It never would have happened without meetings.

 The modern business meeting, however, might better be
 compared with a funeral, in the sense that you have a
 gathering of people who are wearing uncomfortable clothing
 and would rather be somewhere else.  The major difference
 is that most funerals have a definite purpose. Also,
 nothing is really ever buried in a meeting.

 An idea may look dead, but it will always reappear at
 another meeting later on. If you have ever seen the movie,
 "Night of the Living Dead," you have a rough idea of how
 modern meetings operate, with projects and proposals that
 everyone thought were killed rising up constantly from
 their graves to stagger back into meetings and eat the
 brains of the living.

 There are two major kinds of meetings:

 1. Meetings that are held for basically the same reason
    that Arbor Day is observed - namely, tradition.  For
    example, a lot of managerial people like to meet on
    Monday, because it's Monday.  You'll get used to it.
    You'd better, because this kind account for 83% of
    all meetings (based on a study in which I wrote down
    numbers until one of them looked about right).  This
    type of meeting operates the way "Show and Tell" does
    in nursery school, with everyone getting to say some-
    thing, the difference being that in nursery school,
    the kids actually have something to say.

    When it's your turn, you should say that you're still
    working on whatever it is you're supposed to be working
    on.  This may seem pretty dumb, since obviously you'd
    be working on whatever you're supposed to be working on,
    and even if you weren't, you'd claim you were, but that
    is the traditional thing for everyone to say.  It would
    be a lot faster if the person running the meeting would
    just say, "Everyone who is still working on what he or
    she is supposed to be working on, raise your hand."  You
    would be out of there in five minutes, even allowing for

    But this is not how we do it in America.  My guess is,
    it's how they do it in Japan.

 2. Meetings where there is some alleged purpose.  These
    are trickier, because what you do depends on what the
    purpose is.  Sometimes the purpose is harmless, like
    someone wants to show slides of pie charts and give
    everyone a big, fat report.  All you have to do in
    this kind of meeting is sit there and have elaborate
    fantasies, then take the report back to your office
    and throw it away, unless, of course, you're a vice
    president, in which case you write the name of a
    subordinate in the upper right hand corner, followed
    be a question mark, like this:

    "Bill?"  Then you send it to Bill and forget all about
    it (although it will plague Bill for the rest of his

    But sometimes you go to meetings where the purpose is
    to get your "input" on something.  This is very serious
    because what it means is, they want to make sure that
    in case whatever it is turns out to be stupid or fatal,
    you'll get some of the blame, so you have to escape
    from the meeting before they get around to asking you

    One way is to set fire to your tie.  Another is to have
    an accomplice interrupt the meeting and announce that
    you have a phone call from someone very important, such
    as the president of the company or the Pope.  It should
    be one or the other.  It would a sound fishy if the
    accomplice said, "You have a call from the president of
    the company, or the Pope."

    You should know how to take notes at a meeting.  Use a
    yellow legal pad.  At the top, write the date and under-
    line it twice.  Now wait until an important person, such
    as your boss, starts talking; when he does, look at him
    with an expression of enraptured interest, as though he
    is revealing the secrets of life itself.  Then write
    interlocking rectangles like this:   (picture of doodled

    If it is an especially lengthy meeting, you can try some-
    thing like this (Picture of more elaborate doodles and a
    caricature of the boss).

    If somebody falls asleep in a meeting, have everyone else
    leave the room.  Then collect a group of total strangers,
    right of the street, and have them sit around the sleeping
    person until he wakes up.  Then have one of them say to
    him, "Bob, your plan is very, very risky.  However, you've
    given us no choice but to try it.  I only hope, for your
    sake, that you know what you're getting yourself into."
    Then they should file quietly out of the room.

Subj:     Changing Company Names (S222)
          From: pns on 4/25/2001

 I changed my name to bilk you better  by Dave Barry

 Several months ago, out of the blue, a company named 'Cingular'
 started sending me bills. I had never heard of Cingular, and
 I honestly did not know what these bills were for, so I put
 them in the pile where I keep documents that I intend to
 scrutinize more carefully later on, after my death.

 I started seeing TV commercials for Cingular, but of course
 they did not make it clear what Cingular is, because the First
 Rule of Modern Advertising is: 'Never reveal what you are
 advertising.'  In the Cingular commercials -- maybe you've
 seen them -- these little characters, which look like mutant
 starfish from space, walk around and make gestures.  It is
 not at all clear why they are doing this.  It crossed my mind
 that maybe they ARE mutant starfish from space, and Cingular
 is the name of their home planet, and they've sent bills to
 all of humanity, and they are gesturing to indicate that if
 we don't pay them, they'll vaporize the earth.

 Eventually, I found out that Cingular is the new name of my
 cellular telephone company.  It used to be named BellSouth
 Mobility.  Before THAT, I think it was just BellSouth, and
 before THAT, it was Southern Bell, and before that, I'm
 sure it was several other things.  If you go far enough
 back, you'd probably find out that at one time, the name
 actually included the words ``telephone company,'' so you
 could tell, from the name, what it did, which today would
 be a serious violation of business ethics.

 I paid my Cingular bills, because I need my cellular phone
 to communicate vital information ('Hello? Hello?  Can you
 hear me? I can't hear you. Hello?').  I apparently have a
 special cellular plan wherein all my calls are routed
 through a Burger King drive-thru intercom in Bolivia.  I
 envy the people whose cell phones always seem to work --
 the people you see in airports, with their phones attached
 to earphone/microphone devices, so they can stride around,
 gesturing and talking really loud into the air, looking
 kind of like Hamlet delivering his soliloquy ('To be, or
 not to be, that is the ... Hello?').

 My question is: Why do companies keep changing their
 names?  And why do they always change them to names that
 don't MEAN anything?  We consumers like names that reflect
 what the company does.  We know, for example, that
 International Business Machines makes business machines;
 and Ford Motor makes Fords; and Sara Lee makes us fat.
 But we don't know, from the name 'Verizon,' what Verizon
 does.  As far as I can tell, Verizon consists of some big
 telephone companies that joined together.  So why couldn't
 they call themselves ``An Even Bigger Telephone Company?''

 What in the world is ``Accenture?''  This is a company
 that buys a LOT of ads, the overall message of which seems
 to be: 'Accenture -- A Company That Buys a LOT of Ads.'  I
 checked the Accenture Internet site, and here's what it
 says about the name: 'Accenture is a coined word that
 connotes putting an accent or emphasis on the future.'
 Swell! I am all for the future!  But what does Accenture
 DO?  What if it sends me a bill?  Should I pay it?  What
 if I don't, and it turns out that 'Accenture'  is the new
 name for the organization formerly known as 'La Cosa
 Nostra?'  My body parts would be found in nine separate
 Hefty bags. The police would shake their heads and say,
 'Looks like he didn't pay his Accenture bill.'

 This brings me to my idea for how you can make big money.
 You start by inventing a new, modern-sounding company
 name, such as 'Paradil' or 'Gerbadigm,' which are coined
 words that connote a combination of 'paradigm' and 'gerbil.'
 Then you print official-looking invoice forms for this
 company, and you send out a mass-mailing of bills for,
 let's say, $20.38 apiece, to several million randomly
 selected people.  You enclose an announcement with a perky
 corporate marketing statement that is clearly a lie, and
 thus appears totally realistic, such as: 'We've changed
 our name to serve you better!'

 Granted, some consumers would throw the bill away.  But a
 LOT of them would pay it, because they're used to companies
 suddenly mutating on them. You'd get rich!  The only flaw
 in this plan is that the postal authorities might question
 its legality.  If they give you any trouble, refer them to
 me, OK? My name is now Enron P. Citigroup.

Subj:     Short Job-Stuff Files

Subj:     Dilbert Cartoons:
.............Dogbert's Consult Video
          By Scott Adams (S887d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/UJfUZxCYcWo
 Created by Scott Adams, Dogbert puts two and two together and
 makes way more than four. Dogbert says, 'I like to con people.
 And I like to insult people. If you combine con and insult,
 you get consult.  Click 'HERE' to see this cute, thirty
 second video.

Subj:     The GIF - Office Essentials (S428)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 4/11/2005
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com/clean_toon)
Subj:     Calvin and Hobbes Sunday Comic Strip
          Created by Bill Watterson
          in 3/26/2012 (S793)
 Source: www.2.bp.blogspot.com/_djgssszshgM/SYXCzpR0MbI/
 Click 'HERE' to watch Calvin explain the free enterprise system.

Subj:     Moving Furniture (S728)
          From: ezines@arcamax.com on 12/15/2010
 Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her
 back was really sore from moving furniture.

 "Why didn't you wait till your husband got home?" someone asked.

 "I could have," my mother told the group," but the couch is
 easier to move if he's not on it."

Subj:     Best-Known Consumer Brand Logos
          From: Newsweek on April 19,2010
          Page 64 (S699b)

 Click 'HERE' to see the evolution of the logos for Betty
 Crocker, Kodak, Pepsi, John Deer, Shell, and 3M over the
 last 125 years.

Subj:     Successful New Business (S711b in Middle_East-Supp)
          From: sfo_pilot on 8/31/2010
 A friend of mine just started his own business, making
 landmines that look like Muslim prayer mats.

 It's doing well.  Prophets are going through the roof.

                           -(o o)-
.............................From: rfslick on 9/20/08