Subj: Waiter/Waitress Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 24 jokes and articles)
Waitress on Skates from
Animation Factory
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Subj: Waiter/Waitress Jokes (Gz) (Includes 24 jokes and articles) |
|
Waitress on Skates from Animation Factory |
Also see BALLS file - 'Cojones'
BLONDE1 file - 'Blonde
Wins Contest'
CAMEL file - 'Man
On Camel Dying Of Thirst'
COMPUTERS2 - 'If
Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft'
DATING3 file - 'Sending A Lady A
Bottle Of Wine'
DOGS1 file - 'A
Doberman, A Chihuahua, And A Restaurant'
DOCTOR3 file - 'Viagra In The
Coffee'
ELDERLY1 file- 'Elderly
Couple Share A Meal'
ELDERLY4 file- 'Elderly
Couple At Restaurant'
FOOD2 file - 'Chicken
At A Chinese Restraurant'
FROG file - 'Man
Goes To Restraunt w/Hamster And Frog'
HANDICAPPED - 'Blind
Man Orders By Smell'
HOOKER2 file - 'Trucker
At Restaurant And Whorehouse'
HOTEL file - 'Guest
Orders Breakfast'
ITALIAN file - 'The
Italian Who Went To Malta'
JEWISH2 file - 'Jewish
Man Goes Out To Lunch Each Day'
MARRIAGE2 - 'A
Couple Eating Dinner'
MATH2 file - 'Two
Math Professors In A Bar'
MEXICAN file - 'Two
Jews In Mexico'
MIDDLE_EAST - 'Two
Arab Mothers Talk In Cafe'
NATINL_ST-SUP- 'How
To Pronounce Wisconsin City'
NATIVE AMERCN- 'Indian
Eats At Posh Restaurant'
SHIT-SUPP - 'Having
An Accident At A Restaurant'
TEAR JERKER1 - 'Attitude
Is Everything'
TEAR-JERKER3 - 'Being
A Waitress At The Big Wheel'
......................-
'Something
For Stevie'
TRUCKS-BUSSES- 'Old
Truck Driver At A Diner'
============================================================Top
Subj: Diner
Slang (S467)
From: LABLaughsClean on 12/27/2005
Diner slang was popular in diners,
luncheonettes and lunch
rooms from the 1920s until the
1970s. Although many of the
terms were created for fun and
to lighten the stress of the
restaurant environment, having
distinct names for menu
items helped the short order
cooks (according to the web
page).
You've probably heard some of
this in old movies. But I
found it so amusing I pulled
some of the best slang to
create a little quiz for you!
I've provided the answers
at the bottom of the page, so
let's see if you'd make a
good Soup jockey.
Identify the following...
Paint it red
Java, Joe or a cup of mud
A blonde with sand
Shake one in the hay
Cackle fruit
Wreck 'em
Adam ? Eve on a raft
On the hoof
Bloodhound in the Hay
Whistleberries
Frog sticks
Paint a bow-wow red
Irish turkey
Zeppelins in a fog
Burn one
Pin a rose on it
Burn one; drag it through the
garden and pin a rose
on it.
And the answers are:
Paint it red
Put ketchup on an item
Java Joe or a cup of mud
Coffee
A blonde with sand
Coffee with cream and sugar
Shake one in the hay
Strawberry milkshake
Cackle fruit
Eggs
Wreck 'em
Scrambled eggs
Adam ? Eve on a raft
Two poached eggs on toast
On the hoof
Any kind of meat cooked rare
Bloodhound in the Hay
Hot dog and Sauerkraut
Whistleberries
Baked beans
Frog sticks
French fries
Paint a bow-wow red
Gimme a hot dog with ketchup
Irish turkey
Corned beef and cabbage
Zeppelins in a fog
Sausages and mashed potatoes
Burn one
Put a hamburger on the grill
Pin a rose on it
Add onion to an order
Burn one; drag it through the
garden and pin a rose on it.
Hamburger with lettuce tomato
and onion
\\\//
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Subj: The
Little Boy And The Bowl Of Ice Cream (S451b)
From: RFSlick 9/4/2005
In the days when an ice cream
sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a
hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put
a glass of water in
front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand
out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting
for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice
cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away. The
boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and
left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry
as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly
beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the
sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave
her a tip.
\\\//
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| Subj:
Senior Breakfeast Special (S586b)
From: darrellvip on 4/11/2008 We went to breakfast at a restaurant
where
'Sounds good,' my wife said.
'But I don't
|
 |
"Then I'll have to charge you
two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering
a la carte," the waitress
warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for
not taking the eggs?" My
wife asked incredulously.
"I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife
replied. She took the
two eggs home. DON'T MESS
WITH SENIORS.
\\\//
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Subj: Using
A Two Dollar Bill At Taco Bell (S422b)
From: DafterLafter on 2/23/2005
On my way home from work, I stopped
at Taco Bell for a quick
bite to eat. In my billfold
are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I
figure that with a $2 bill,
I can get something to eat and
not have to worry about anyone
getting irritated at me for
trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
Me: "No, it's to go."
At this point, I open my billfold
and hand him the $2 bill.
He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager,
who is still within my
earshot. The following
conversation occurs between the
two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else.
There's no such thing
as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says,
"We don't take these.
Do you have anything else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his manager,
who has been watching me
like I'm a shoplifter, and says
to him, "He says I have
to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty.
I'll get it and you can open
the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back
later when he has
real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and
says, "I'm sorry, but
we don't take big bills this
time of night."
Me: "It's only seven o'clock!
Well then, here's a
two dollar bill."
Manager: "We don't take those, either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really ... tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point, he backs away
from me and calls mall
security on the phone around
the corner. I have
two people staring at me from
the dining area, and
I begin laughing out loud, just
for effect. A few
minutes later this 45-year-oldish
guy comes in.
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager (whispering): "This guy
is trying to give
me some ...(pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"
Manager: "Get this ... a two dollar bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would
a guy fake a two
dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know.
He's kinda weird. He
says the only other thing he
has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know!
Can you talk to him, and
get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me and ...
Guard: "Mike here tells me you
have some fake bills
you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
At this point I am ready to say,
"Sure, please!"
but I want to eat, so I say,
"I'm just trying to
buy a burrito and pay for it
with this two dollar
bill."
I put the bill up near his face,
and he flinches
like I'm taking a swing at him.
He takes the bill,
turns it over a few times in
his hands, and says,
"Hey, Mike, what's wrong with
this bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah ... ?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both
look at him like he's
an idiot, and it dawns on the
guy that he has no clue.
So, it turns out that my burrito
was free, and he
threw in a small drink and some
of those cinnamon
thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack
of two dollar bills
just to see what happens when
I try to buy stuff.
If I got the right group of people,
I could probably
end up in jail. You get
free food there, too!
\\\//
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Subj: Lady
Asks Waiter To Hold Her Breast (S407)
From: JokesUncut on 11/4/2004
A lady is feeling a bit down
in the dumps and decides to
treat herself to a meal at the
Ritz Carlton. She manages
to get a table that very night
and enjoys a delicious meal
on her own -- nothing too extravagant,
but nice all the
same.
The head waiter brings the bill
and she's horrified to see
the total: $150! She doesn't
expect this at all and asks
the waiter "Would you mind holding
my breasts while I
write the check please?"
The head waiter is taken aback.
In all his years in the
job he's never been asked that
before, but always eager
to please the customer, he obliges.
She gets up to leave and the
waiter is still perplexed.
His curiosity gets the better
of him and he catches up
with her at the door and asks,
"I'm sorry to bother you
Miss but I'd like to know why
you asked me to do that
just now."
"Oh, it's quite simple really,"
she replies, "I love to
have my breasts held when I'm
being screwed!"
\\\//
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Subj: Shoe
Shop Next To French Restaurant (S406b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/25/2004
There was a poor old Irish cobbler
whose shop was next door
to a very upscale French restaurant.
Every day at lunch
time, Mike, the Irish gent,
would go out the back of his
shop and eat his soda bread
and maybe a kipper or piece of
Irish blue cheese while smelling
the wonderful odors coming
from the restaurant's kitchen.
One morning, the old mick was
surprised to receive an invoice
in the mail from the adjoining
restaurant for "enjoyment of
food". Mystified, he marched
right over to the restaurant to
point out that he had not bought
a thing from them.
The manager said, "You're enjoying
our food, so you should
pay us for it." The old
mick refused to pay and the
restaurant took him to court.
At the hearing, the judge asked
the restaurant to present
their side of the case.
The manager said, "Every day, this
man comes and sits outside our
kitchen and smells our food
while eating his. It is clear
that we are providing added
value to his poor food and we
deserve to be compensated for
it."
The judge turned to Mike and
said, "What do you have to say
to that?" The old Irish
gent didn't say a thing but smiled
and stuck his hand in his pocket
and rattled the few coins
he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"
The old gent replied with a mile
wide grin, - "I'm paying
for the smell of his food with
the sound of my money."
\\\//
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Subj: Waitress
Sued Hooters Restaurant (S402b)
From: agrief on 9/23/2004
Source: http://www.bonitadailynews.com/01/07/florida/d621686a.htm
| Sunday, July 29, 2001
Associated Press PANAMA CITY — Oh, what a feeling. Toy Yoda! A former Hooters waitress has
sued the
Instead, she said, she won a
new toy Yoda
Jodee Berry, 26, won a contest
to see who
She believed she'd won a new car. |
Jodee Berry sits with her toy Yoda at her lawyer's office. Berry, a former Hooters waitress, has sued the restaurant where she worked saying she was promised a new Toyota for winning a beer sales contest. Berry, 26, won the contest in April. She believed she'd won a new car. She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot, but when the blindfold was removed she found she was the winner not of a Toyota, but a toy Yoda, the little green guy from Star Wars. AP photo by Terry Barner/ The Panama City News Herald |
Inside the restaurant, the manager
was laughing, Berry said.
She wasn't.
"A corporation can't lead their
employees on like that,"
Berry said. "It's not good business
ethics. They can't do
that to people."
Berry quit the restaurant a week later.
She sued Gulf Coast Wings, Inc.,
owners of the restaurant,
alleging breach of contract
and fraudulent misrepresentation.
Her lawyer, Stephen West of
Pensacola, said he was also
looking at false advertising
statutes.
She's seeking as compensation the cost of a new Toyota.
Stuart Houston, a spokesman for
the company, said it hadn't
been served with the lawsuit
and he could not comment.
Berry said restaurant manager
Jared Blair told his
waitresses he didn't know what
kind of Toyota it would be
— a car, truck or van — but
told them the winner would be
responsible for the tax on the
vehicle.
Blair, reached at the restaurant
Saturday, said he had no
comment.
\\\//
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Subj: Jewish
Man Has Soup With Bread (S382b, S587b)
From: mrx on 5/26/2004
and
From: LABLaughsClean on 4/16/2008
An old Jewish man goes to a diner
every day for lunch. He
always orders the soup du jour.
One day the manager asks him
how he liked his meal. The old
man replies (with Yiddish
accent) "Wass goot, but you
could give a little more bread."
So the next day the manager tells
the waitress to give him
four slices of bread. "How was
your meal, sir?" the manager
asks. "Wass goot, but you could
give a little more bread,"
comes the reply.
So the next day the manager tells
the waitress to give him
eight slices of bread. "How
was your meal today, sir?" the
manager asks. "Wass goot, but
you could give a little more
bread," comes the reply.
So ... the next day the manager
tells the waitress to give
him a whole loaf of bread with
his soup. "How was your
meal, sir?" the manager asks,
when he comes to pay. "Wass
goot, but you could give just
a little more bread," comes
the reply once again.
The manager is now obsessed with
seeing this customer say
that he is satisfied with his
meal, so he goes to the
bakery, and orders a six-foot-long
loaf of bread. When the
man comes in as usual the next
day, the waitress and the
manager cut the loaf in half,
butter the entire length of
each half, and lay it out along
the counter, right next to
his bowl of soup. The old man
sits down, and devours both
his bowl of soup, and both halves
of the six-foot-long loaf
of bread.
The manager now thinks he will
get the answer he is looking
for, and when the old man comes
up to pay for his meal, the
manager asks in the usual way:
"How was your meal TODAY,
sir?"
The old Jew replies: "It wass
goot as usual, but I see you
are back to giving only two
slices of bread!"
\\\//
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Subj: Man
And Ostrich Enter Restaurant (S362, S533b)
From: thebartend on 1/2/2004
and
From: gordonschuk on 4/2/2007
A man walks into a restaurant
with a full-grown ostrich
behind him. As he sits,
the waitress comes over and asks
for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger,
fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich, "What's
yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress
returns with the order.
"That will be $6.40 please,"
and the man reaches into his
pocket and pulls out the exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the
ostrich come again and the
man says, "I'll have a hamburger,
fries and a coke," and
the ostrich says, "I'll have
the same."
Once again the man reaches into
his pocket and pays with
exact change.
This becomes a routine until
late one evening, the two
enter again. "The usual?"
asks the waitress. "No, this
is Friday night, so I will have
a steak, baked potato and
salad," says the man, "same
for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress
comes with the order and
says, "That will be $12.62."
Once again the man pulls exact
change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do
you manage to always come up with
the exact change out of your
pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several
years ago I was cleaning the
attic and I found an old lamp.
When I rubbed it a Genie
appeared and offered me two
wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever
had to pay for anything, I
would just put my hand in my
pocket and the right amount of
money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the
waitress. "Most people would
wish for a million dollars or
something, but you'll always
be as rich as you want for as
long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether
it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls
Royce, the exact money is always
there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers,
"My second wish was for
a tall chick with long legs
who agrees with everything I say."
\\\//
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Subj: Waitress
w/Thumb In The Food (S337b)
From: BennoRo on 7/14/2003
A waitress gives the customer
a bowl of soup and has her
thumb in the bowl. The
customer ignores it. She comes
with the blue plate special
and has her thumb in the mashed
potatoes. He's about to
grab her but she gets away.
Finally she returns with his
coffee and dessert and her
thumb is in the coffee as well!
The customer stops her and said
"Look miss, I know this
ain't the highest class restaurant,
but what's all this
about? You bring my soup
and your thumb is in it. Then
you bring my entree and your
thumb is in the mash' potatoes.
And now the coffee, what's going
on?"
"Oh sir" she replies, "I'm sorry,
but I have an arthiritic
thumb and my doctor told me
that I should keep it warm"
"Well Holy Cow!" says the customer,
"Why don't you stick it
up your ass?"
"Oh, I do that in the kitchen"
\\\//
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Subj: Indian
Carrying Shotgun And Manure Wants Coffee (S336b, S502b)
From: pns on 7/6/2003
and
From: samhutkins on 9/6/2006
An Indian walks into a cafe with
a shotgun in one hand and
a bucket of buffalo manure in
the other. He says to the
waiter, "Me want coffee".
The waiter says, "Sure chief,
coming right up". He gets
the Indian a tall mug of coffee,
and the Indian drinks it
down in one gulp, picks up the
bucket of manure, throws it
into the air, blasts it with
the shotgun, then just walks
out.
The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun
in one hand and a bucket of
buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and
says to the waiter, "Me
want coffee".
The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto.
We're still cleaning up
your mess from the last time
you were here. What the heck
was that all about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly
says, "Me in training for
upper management/sales position.
Come in, drink coffee,
shoot the shit, and disappear
for the rest of the day.
\\\//
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Subj: Man
Wants To Date Waitress (S323b)
From: joke on 4/2/2003
A customer wanted to ask his
attractive waitress for a
date, but couldn't get her attention.
When he was able
to catch her eye, she quickly
looked away. Finally he
followed her into the kitchen
and blurted out his
invitation. To his amazement,
she readily consented.
He said, "Why have you been avoiding
me all this time?
You wouldn't even make eye contact."
"Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."
\\\//
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Subj: World
Restraurant (S309)
From: LABLaughs.com on 1/3/2003
Waitress: Hawaii, Mister? You must be Hungary.
Gent: Yes, Siam. And I can't
Rumania long, either. Venice
lunch ready?
Waitress: I'll Russia table.
What are you Ghana Havre?
Aix?
Gent: You want Tibet? I prefer
Turkey. Can Jamaica cook
step on the Gaza bit?
Waitress: Odessa laugh! Alaska, but listen for her Wales.
Gent: I'm not Balkan. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.
Waitress: Don't you be Sicily,
big boy. Sweden it yourself.
I'm only here to Serbia.
Gent: Denmark my check and call
the Bosphorus, Egypt me.
There's an Eire. I hope he'll
Kenya. I don't Bolivia know
who I am!
Waitress: Canada noise! I don't Caribbean. You sure Ararat!
Gent: Samoa your wisecracks?
What's got India? D'you think
this arguing Alps business?
Why be so Chile? Be Nice!
Waitress: Don't Kiev me that
Boulogne! Alemain do! Spain in
the neck. Pay your Czech and
don't Kuwait. Ayssinia!
Gent (to himself): I'll come
back with my France and Taiwan
on Zanzibar is open.
\\\//
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Subj: Cold
Chili (S153)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-05-13
and
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 01/06/2000
A man enters a cafe and sits
down. He notices that the special
of the day is cold chili.
When the waitress comes to take his
order, he says, "I'll take the
cold chili."
"I'm sorry, the gentlemen next
to you got the last bowl," says
the waitress.
"Oh. I'll just have coffee,
then." After a while the man notices
that the guy next to him who
got the last bowl of cold chili is
finishing a rather large meal
and the chili bowl is still full.
He asks, "Are you going to eat
that?"
The other man replies, "No."
"Would you sell it to me?"
"You can have it for free if
you want it." So the man takes
the bowl of chili and begins
to eat it. When he gets about
half way through the bowl, he
notices a dead mouse in the bowl
and barfs the chili back into
the bowl.
The other man says sympathetically,
"That's about as far as
I got.
\\\//
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Subj: Man
Leaves Three Penny Tip
From: humorlist-digest V2 #49 on 98-02-20
A New Hampshireman stops by a cafe
for breakfast. After
paying the tab, he checks his pockets
and leaves his tip--three
pennies.
As he strides toward the door, his
waitress muses, only half to
herself: "You know, you can tell a
lot about a man by the tip he
leaves."
The man turns around, curiosity getting
the better of him. "Oh,
really? Tell me, what does my tip
say?"
"Well, this penny tells me you're a
thrifty man." Barely able to
conceal his pride, the man utters
"Hmm, true enough."
"And this penny, it tells me you're
a bachelor." Surprised at her
perception, he says, "Well, that's
true, too."
"And the third penny tells me that your father was one, too."
\\\//
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Subj: Waiter
And The Spoon (S55, S567b)
From: JBCARY1 on 6/27/2003
and
From: SCOTCOB on 12/4/2007
A guy went into a restaurant,
and as he was sitting down at
the table he knocked the spoon
onto the floor. The waiter
immediately produced a clean
spoon from his pocket.
"Wow" said the man. "How
did you know I was gonna' knock
the spoon off the table?"
To which the waiter replied, "We
had an efficiency expert in
here a few months ago, and he
realised that 15% of customers
knock their spoon off the
table as they are sitting down.
He told us it would save
time if we would just carry
a spare spoon with us at all
times so that we would not have
to run back to the kitchen
all the time."
The man was duly impressed, and went on with his order.
Later, during the meal, he said
to the waiter, "I've noticed
that all the male waiters have
a string hanging out of their
fly...What's up with that?"
The waiter went on to say, "Well,
that same efficiency expert
realised we were spending too
much time washing our hands,
and suggested we tie string
to our penises. Having never
actually touched our penises,
we didn't have to wash our
hands...saving a lot of time."
Again the man was duly impressed.
Towards the end of the
meal, the man pulled the waiter
aside and asked, "You know,
I was thinking...how do you
get your penis back into your
pants without touching it?"
The waiter replied, "Well, I
don't know about the other guys,
but I use the spoon."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Waitress
Says Yes (S220b)
From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97
and
From: thebartend on 2/20/2001
After the tourist had been served
in the Las Vegas cocktail
lounge, he beckoned the waitress
back and said, "Miss,
would you give me a piece of
ass?"
"Lord, that's the most direct
proposition I've ever had!"
gasped the girl. After
pausing to think, she smiled and
added, "Sure, why not? It's
pretty slow here right now,
so let's go!"
When the pair returned half an
hour later, the man sat
down at the same table and the
waitress asked, "Will there
be anything else? "
"Yes," replied the tourist. "Where
I come from in Virginia,
we like our bourbon and water
real cold. So I still need
a piece of ass for my drink."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
Subj: Short
Waiter/Waitress Jokes
| Subj:
Dangling Restaurant (S581b in Food-Supp)
From: ginafm on 3/14/2008 |
 |
Top
Subj: Manager
Pick-pocketed (S472c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/28/2006
Our manager at the restaurant
where I worked was a friendly,
jovial man. But there was one
subject you didn't dare discuss
in front of him--his height.
Or, should I say, his lack of it.
One day he stormed through the
door and announced angrily,
"Someone just picked my pocket!"
Most of my fellow waitresses
and I were speechless, except
for one who blurted out, "How
could anyone stoop so low?"
Top
Subj: Little
Old Man Orders Banana Split (S401b)
From: ICohen on 10/5/2004
A little old man shuffled slowly
into an ice cream parlor
and pulled himself slowly, painfully,
up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
No," he replied, "arthritis".
Top
Subj: Treasury
Secretary Has Expired Visa Card (S379b)
From: igiggle on 5/5/2004
In 1979 Treasure Secretary Michael
Blumenthal found himself
in an embarrassing situation
in Beethoven's, an expensive
San Francisco restaurant.
Blumenthal was confronted with a
sizable dinner bill, an expired
Visa card, and a waiter who
wanted proof of signature to
back up an out-of-town check.
Blumenthal solved his predicament
in a way only he could:
He produced a dollar bill and
pointed out his own signature,
W.M. Blumenthal, in the bottom
right-hand corner. The
signatures matched, and Blumenthal's
personal check was accepted.
Top
Subj: In-N-Out
Burger Cult Site (S313)
From: gheckman on 1/31/2003
If you are an In-N-Out Burger
fan go to the following site:
http://www.zenlemur.com/innout.shtml
Top
Subj: Stockholm
Restraunt's Toilet Seats (S302b)
From: jerry on 11/14/2002
A Stockholm restaurant completely
disgusted a customer when,
in response to the customer
asking about the missing toilet
seat in the men's room, in full
view of the man,
removed the missing toilet seat
from the dishwasher where it
was washed alongside the kitchen
utensils.
And what did the restaurant have
to say to the repulsed
customer?
They told him "the freshly washed
toilet seat would be warm
and pleasant to sit on."
They didn't mention anything about
the unique experience one would
have using the kitchen utensils.
Reuters via Yahoo News 14-Nov-02
Top
Subj: Waitress
Says Yes, Vers. II (S166)
From: RFSlick on 04/03/2000
The waitress was tired of this
one patron always hitting
on her, so she came up with
a plan.
"I'll tell ya what, stud. I'll
have sex with ya on two
conditions. First, it'll
cost ya 50 bucks. Second, you
have to guarantee me that bells
will ring and lights will
flash."
He smiled, handed her $50 and
led her over to the pinball
machine.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
 |
Smiley the Waitress from
Smiley_Central |