(Includes 5 jokes and articles)
Santa's problem
from
Barricks Insurance
Services
| Subj:
Santa and Elf Supp (Gz-m4)
(Includes 5 jokes and articles) |
|
Santa's problem from Barricks Insurance Services |
Includes the following: Reindeer
Ensemble - Interactive SWF (S568c)
.........................Letters
to Santa (S567c)
.........................Short
Santa And Elf Jokes
..............................Santa
Goes Hunting - Movie (S620c)
..............................Mike
Luckovich's Political Cartoon (S618c)
..............................A
Christmas Story (S568b)
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| Subj:
Reindeer Ensemble (S568c)
From: darrellvip on 12/20/2007 |
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Santa directs the song "We Wish
You A Merry Chiristmas'.
When you click on a reindeer,
he joins in with a sound.
It's dumb but cute. To
play, click on the source above,
or click 'HERE'
to play it on my web site.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Letters
to Santa (S567c)
From: ginafm on 12/4/2007
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space
ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud
boy all yeer. yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your
way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a friggin'
book so you can learn to
read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space
ranger. At least HE can
spell!
Santa
________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all
year, and the only thing I ask
for is peace and joy in the
world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when
they had you, didn't they?
Santa
________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this,
but for Christmas, I'd
like for my mommy and daddy
to get back together. Please
see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the
babysitter like a screen door
in a hurricane. Do you
think he's gonna give that up to
come back to your frigid mom,
who rides his ass constantly?
It's time to give up that dream.
Let me get you some nice
Legos instead.
Santa
________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation,
a train, some G.I. Joes,
a dog, a drum set, a pony and
a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis"
nowadays? I bet you're gay;
I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for
you under the tree, and I
left carrots for your reindeer
outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots
make the deer fart in
my face when riding in the sleigh.
You want to do me a
favor? Leave me a bottle
of scotch.
Santa
________________________________________
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364
days of the year? Are you
busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China.
I have a condo in
Vegas, where I spend most
of my time making low-budget
porno films. I unwind
by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the asses of cocktail
waitresses while losing
money at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
________________________________________
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping,
do you really know
when we're awake, like in the
song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible
or are you just a blonde?
Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.
Santa
________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy
this year. Please please
please PLEASE PLEASE could I
have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may
work with your over-indulgent
folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting
a sweater again.
Santa
________________________________________
Dearest Santa, We don't have
a chimney in our house, how
do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself
"Marky", that's why you're
getting your ass whipped at
school. Second, you don't
live in a house; you live in
a low-rent apartment complex.
Third, I get inside your pad
just like the boogeyman does,
through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams, Santa
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Subj: Short
Santa And Elf Jokes (S151)
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Subj:
Santa Goes Hunting (S620c)
From: rfslick on 11/25/2008 |
Top
Subj: Mike
Luckovich's Political Cartoon (S618c)
By Mike Luckovich
From: WashingtonPost,com on 11/14/2008
Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_editorial
.........cartoons_mike-luckovich.html
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| Subj:
A Christmas Story (S568b)
From: SCOTCOB on 12/6/2007 This story with pictures is sort of cute and sort |
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Santa's Elf from Badger's Animated GIF Gallery |