>>> Subj:     Dwarf Jokes (Gz)                  (Includes 14 jokes and articles)

Dwarves House from Animation Factory

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Subj:     Having An Auto Accident With A Dwarf (S569b)
          From: danschu63 on 12/17/2007
          Source: http://qdb.us/118151

 This isn't really a joke (was supposedly a true story),
 but I found it funny:

 I rear-ended a car this morning.  So there we are alongside
 the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car... and
 you know how you just get sooo stressed and life seems to
 get funny?  Well, I could NOT believe it.. he was a DWARF!

 He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT
 HAPPY!"

 So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you
 then?"... and THAT'S when the fight started.

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Subj:     Seven Dwarfs Are In A Mining Accident (S559b)
          From: Fischer-J on 10/3/2007

 After making seven lunches, Snow White went to the mine to
 deliver their meals.  She discovered there had been a cave-in.
 Frantically she starts digging to save her seven best friends.

 Finally there is a little air gap at the top of the rubble.
 The princess climes to the top and yells "Dwarves, can you
 hear me."

 A faint voice answers "Hillary in 08, Hillary in 08".

 Snow White yells back "Dopey, you're alive".

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Subj:     Midget Cowboy's Balls Ache (S172)
          From: RFSlick on 5/15/00

 There was a midget cowboy who complained to his buddy that his
 testicles ached all the time.  As he was always going on about
 his problem, his friend suggested that he go to the doctor and
 see what he could do to relieve the problem.

 The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him
 what the problem was.  The doctor told him to drop his pants
 and he would have a look.

 The midget dropped his pants, then the doctor put him up onto
 the examining table and proceeded to look for the trouble.  The
 doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget
 to cough, which he did.  "Ah!" mumbled the doc and putting his
 finger under the right one and asked him to cough again, which
 he did. "Ahhh!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical
 scissors. Snip, snip, snip on the right side and then snip,
 snip, snip on the left side and he told the midget to pull up
 his pants and see if it still ached.

 The midget was delighted as he walked around the doc's office
 and his testicles were not aching. "What did you do Doc?" he
 asked.

 The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy
 boots."

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Subj:     Seven Dwarfs Meet The Pope (S126b, S530c)
          From: JOELFALLON on 7/2/99
      and From: drgolfmd on 3/18/2007

 The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican and because they have
 requested an audience and they are - THE - seven dwarfs,
 they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

 "Dopey, my son." Says the Pope. What can I do for you?"

 Dopey asks, "Excuse me. Your Excellency, but are there any
 dwarf nuns in Rome?"

 The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for
 a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns
 in Rome."  In the background a few of the dwarfs start
 giggling.  Dopey turns around and gives them a glare,
 silencing them.

 Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns
 in all of Europe?"

 The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then
 answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

 This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
 Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an
 angry glare.  Dopey turns back and says, "Mr. Pope!  Are
 there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"

 "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in
 the world."

 The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
 pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they
 begin chanting... "Dopey screwed a penguin!  Dopey screwed
 a penguin!"

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Subj:     Sexual Harassment From A Lawyer...
          From: RFSlick on 98-08-13

 Daughter of a friend of mine, who works as a police dispatcher
 asked me if it was sexual harassment if a co-worker walked by
 her and said, "Your hair smells nice."

 Uh-oh I thought.  Let's see that last case didn't seem to
 require the threat against your job to qualify.  On further
 inquiry, she confirmed that it was that literally passing
 comment and nothing more.

 I told her that at least as a general rule, that probably
 was not actionable.  She asked, "Even if he is a midget?"

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Subj:     Midget admires Man's Dick
          From: RFSlick on 98-04-30

 A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he's
 being watched by a midget.  Although the little fellow is
 staring at him intently, the guy doesn't get uncomfortable
 until the midget drags a small stepladder up next to him,
 climbs it,and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.

 "Wow," comments the midget, "Those are the nicest balls I
 have ever seen!"

 Surprised-and flattered-the man thanks the midget and starts
 to move away.

 "Listen, I know this is a rather strange request," says the
 little fellow, "but I wonder if you would mind if I touched
 them."

 Again the man is rather startled, but seeing no real harm
 in it, he obliges the request. The midget reaches out, gets
 a tight grip on the man's balls, and says, "Okay, hand me
 your wallet or I'll jump off the ladder!"

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Subj:     Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (S17, S578c)
          From Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97

 One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced
 to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed.  After the
 usual lengthy round of "Good Nights" she went upstairs.
 Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began
 standing on each others shoulders beneath Snow White's
 bedroom window.

 Tonight was Grumpy's turn to be on the top and as he was the
 only one who could see in the window it was his duty to
 inform the other dwarfs what she was doing.  After a minute
 or two he hollered down, "She's taking off her blouse!" and
 this was echoed down the stack "taking off her blouse,"
 "she's taking off her blouse," "blouse is coming off,"
 "taking off her blouse," etc.  Next Grumpy yelled, "She's
 taking off her skirt," which was followed by the echoes
 "taking off her skirt," "she's taking off her skirt,"
 "skirt's coming off," "taking off her skirt," etc.

 Of course the next line from Grumpy was, "She's taking off
 her bra!" and the echo chorus went down the line.  Then,
 "She's taking off her panties!", which again cascaded down
 the dwarf tower.

 Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height
 saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, "Someone's
 coming!" and from the next dwarf to the bottom dwarf was
 heard, "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too."
 "Me too."

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Subj:     Two Dwarfs In Las Vegas

 Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las
 Vegas.  At the hotel bar, they're dazzled by two women,
 and wind up taking them to their separate rooms.  The
 first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he's unable
 to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to
 join with his date.  His depression is enhanced by the fact
 that, from the next room he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO,
 THREE...HUH!" all night long.

 In the morning, the second dwarf asked the first, "How did
 it go?"  The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing.
 I simply couldn't get an erection."

 (Scroll down for punchline.....)

 The second dwarf shook his head.  "You think that's
 embarrassing?" he asked, "I couldn't even get on the bed!"

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Subj:     Dwarf Buys A Horse
          From: ipkis on 97-07-24

 A dwarf with a lisp goes to buy a horse.

 After walking around the animal a few times he says to the
 farmer, "Da eyeth, I want to thee the eyeth!"

 So the farmer lifts him up to the horses head.  He walks
 around some more and says, "Da eerth, I want to see the eerth."

 So, a bit annoyed, the farmer lifts him up once more.  After
 circling the animal several more times the dwarf says, "Da
 twat, I want to see the twat."

 Totally frustrated by now the irate farmer lifts him up and
 plunges him head long into the animals behind.

 After a few minutes the farmer removes him and sets him down
 on the ground.

 When the dwarf regained his composure he said, "I'm sorry.
 Maybe I should have said his gallop!"

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Subj:     Caught Having Sex With A Midget
          From: humorlist-digest V1 #227 on 97-10-19

 Sam arrived home from work early one afternoon only to
 surprise his wife busily engaged with a midget in bed.

 After chasing the rogue away, Sam liberally expressed his
 dismay to his wayward spouse.  "I just don't know what to
 do with you!" he said, shaking his head.  "We've talked
 about this over and over.  We've spent hours with the
 marriage counselor.  I was really starting to believe that
 I could trust you again."

 "I know, I know..." acknowledged the wife contritely.  "But
 at least I'm cutting down!"

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Subj:     Short Dwarf (etc) Jokes

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Subj:     Snow White Takes Pictures Of Dwarfs
          From: ipkis on 97-08-22
 Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took
 pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings.  When she
 finished her first batch she took the film to be developed.

 After a week or so she went to get the finished photos.
 The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.
 Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry.
 The clerk, trying  to console her, said, "Don't worry,
 someday your prints will come".
 

 Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from
 jail?  Yeah the headlines in the newspaper read "SMALL
 MEDIUM AT LARGE".

From: humorlist-digest V1 #256 on 97-11-25
 A dwarf comes into this bar in NYC, he sits next to a
 gorgious blond woman, he orders a drink and start looking
 at the woman, after a while he says to her "What do you
 say to a little fuck".  She looks down at him and says;
 "Hello little fuck".

From: homeschooling.guide on 99-01-10
 And which dwarf are you?

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A mighty Dwarf from http://www.BlueMind.dk

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