Subj: Redneck-Supp Jokes
(Includes 68 jokes and articles, 07 1121n,42,cL2f,vYT4a,28)
Click "Here" for Redneck-Supp2
Subj: Hillbilly Dream Catcher (S931)
Kevin Skinner On A.G.T.
From: Jessibel Gonzales
in 2010 (S704b,d-iFrame)
This video is Kevin Skinner's
audition on America's Got
Talent on June 30th, 2009. Kevin Sings Garth Brooks'
"If Tomorrow Never Comes". Click 'HERE' to hear this
great, country singer.
Subj: Bubba's 21st Birthday (S608c)
From: allenbergman in 2008
Bubba had long heard the stories
of an amazing family
tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and
great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on
their 21st birthday. On that special day, they'd each
walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for
their first legal drink.
So when Bubba's 21st birthday
came around, he and his
pal Jim Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake,
Bubba stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Jim
Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious
and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma, he asked, 'it's my
21st birthday, so why can't
I walk 'cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and
his father before him?
Granny looked deeply into Bubba's
troubled eyes and said,
'Because your father, your grandfather and your great
grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen,
and you were born in July, you dumbass'.
God I'm A Country Boy
..........in 2009 (S656b,d-iFrame)
A bunch of clips of country boys
and hicks doing stupid
things. Click 'HERE' to see this silly video.
Subj: Jethro Learns About Sex (S628)
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2009
One day, Jethro asked, "Paw,
what is Sex?" Paw says, "Since
you are a big boy I will show you." Paw hollers, "Maw get
yourself in here!"
Paw then says,"Maw, take your
clothes off and get on the
bed. Now spread your legs. "Paw says,"Jethro see that thar
little hole? Now watch this!" In the midst of Paw's
demonstration Little Sally comes in and exclaims, "What
is going on? "Jethro answers, "Paw is teaching me about
sex. "Little Sally asks, "What is Sex? "Jethro replies,
"See that little hole on Paw? Now watch this!"
The Slingshot Man
..........on 2009 (S626d-iFrame)
Click 'HERE' to learn about this amazing slingshot shooter.
Subj: Sears Catalog Order (S608b)
From: tom in 2008
Two rednecks were looking at
a Sears catalog and admiring
the models. One says to the other, 'Have you seen the
beautiful girls in this here catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yep,
they are very beautiful,
and look at the price, ooowweee!!
The first one says, with wide
eyes, 'Wow, they aren't
very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats
him on the back. 'Good idea
Jed'. Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in
the catalog, I'll get one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest
redneck asks his friend,
'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears
The second redneck replies, 'No,
but she shouldn't be long
now, cuz she mailed me all her underwear yesterday.
..........in 2008 (in Art-Supp)
This redneck artist does a beautiful
picture while he is
eating barbacued ribs. To see this video, click 'HERE'.
Subj: Two Rednecks Win At Wal-Mart (S443, S617c)
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005
(Also see 'Ole, Sven and Lars Win Prizes' in Swedish_Etc)
While Bubba and Billy Bob, two
rednecks from Lenoir,N.C.
were in the local Wal-Mart they decided to get in on the
weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each
at a dollar a pop. The
following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a
Billy Bob won 1st place; a years
supply of gourmet
spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.
Bubba won 6th prize; a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed
when the men met back at
Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to
which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"
Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout
you, how's the toilet
brush? "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna
go back to paper."
White Trash Christmas (S464b)
From: darrell94590 (d-On Site, SWF)
..........in 2005 (in Christmas1)
This SWF, cartoon is very cute.
You can view itd-On Site, SWF
by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Uncle And Nephew Say Prayers Before Bed (S422b)
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005
The boy's father was a dirt farmer
in a very poor, hard
scrabble,district of the back hills country. One day his
Uncle Arnie came to visit. Since there were limited
accommodations, the uncle was required to sleep in with
the boy, his young nephew.
When Uncle Arnie came into the
bedroom, he saw the little
boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. - -
Admiring the boy's apparent religious upbringing, he decided
to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of
the bed with his head bowed too.
The boy looked up, startled,
and asked his uncle, "Whatcha
"Why, the same thing you're doing boy", replied the Uncle.
"Ma's gonna be awful mad", exclaimed the boy.
"Why will she be mad?" asked a puzzled Uncle Arnie.
The boy responded,
"Because the bed pan's on this side!"
Redneck Bungee-Jumping (S525c)
From: gordonschuk in 2007
..........(d-iFrame, in Other-Sports)
This video looks like a lot of
scary fun. You can
view it by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Two Rednecks Discuss Infidelity (S392b, S646b)
From: Imogenelumen in 2004
(See 'Guys Discuss Premarital Sex' in Marriage6)
Two good ole boys down in Alabama
were sitting around
talking one afternoon over a cold beer . . .
After a while the first guy says
to the second, "If'n I
was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love
to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got
pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The second guy crooked his head
sideways for a minute,
scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real
hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I
don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even."
Are You A Redneck Quiz (S398, S604b)
From: Quizsarama in 2004
Source: (Removed from quizarama.com)
1. How many Vienna Sausages
are in a can?
2. What was the number
of Richard Petty's car?
3. Bill Dance is good
C. Line Dancin'
4. Where did Herschel
Walker play football (college)?
A. University of Alabama
B. University of Georgia
C. University of Tennessee
5. In cubic inches, how
big is the smallest 1966 GM
6. A Cajun is likely to
speak what furrin language?
7. What is a chigger?
A. A Texan Cigar
B. A Redbug
C. A Tool
8. What is scrapple?
A. A Medical Tool
B. A Sausage-like Loaf
C. A Musical Instrument
9. Where is "The Redneck
A. Jackson, MS
B. Baton Rouge, LA
C. Panama City, FL
10. What's that fuzzy stuff
hanging off the oak tree?
A. Spanish Moss
C. Aligator Hides
11. If you mated a heifer
and a steer, what would you get?
A. A Cow
B. A Bull
C. Nothing. A steer has been castrated.
12. Who sang "Your Cheatin'
A. Willie Nelson
B. George Strait
C. Hank Williams
13. What are grits made
14. What is a scuppernong?
A. A Wild Pig
B. A Wild Grape
C. A Wild Goat
15. What color is your
1. A. Seven Vienna Sausages are in a can.
2. C. The number of Richard Petty's car was 43.
3. A. Bill Dance is good at Fishin'.
4. B. Herschel Walker play football for University of Georgia.
5. A. The smallest 1966 GM small-block V8 is 283 cubic inches.
6. C. A Cajun is likely to speak French.
7. B. A chigger is a redbug.
8. B. A scrapple is a sausage-like loaf.
9. C. The 'Redneck Riviera' is Panama City, FL.
10. A. That fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak tree is Spanish Moss.
11. C. If you mated a heifer and a steer, you would get
nothing. A steer has been castrated.
12. C. Hank Williams sang "Your Cheatin' Heart."
13. A. Grits made out of corn.
14. B. A scuppernong A wild grape.
15. C. Green is the color of your John Deere.
Your 'Redneck' Rating
If you got 0 to 4 right.
"It turns out a monkey is more of a redneck
that you are. Feel safe in the knowledge that
your family tree is probably very far reaching."
If you got 5 to 8 right.
"You did ok but your not a redneck. You probably
visited the south a few times but obviously managed
to escape without the words y'all and fixin' ta
being added perminantly to your vocabulary."
If you got 9 to 11 right.
"You scored well this means you are one of 3 things.
1) You are exceptionally bright.
2) You used to be a redneck but have moved out
out of the south and are in remission.
3) You are a redneck but trying ot hide it."
If you got 12 to 15 right.
"You are a redneck. Be proud, Stand straight. Stand
tall, but stand over there because the wind is blowing
the smell of your skoal in my direction."
Jeff Foxworthy Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas
From: gattica30 (d-iFrame)
in 2009 (S672 in Christmas2)
The original song was written
by Rodney Carrington.
Jeff Foxworthy rewrote the song and improved it greatly.
Click 'HERE' to see the video from his CD.
Subj: Three Nationalities In A Sauna (S317b, S658)
From: christyhenning in 2003
(Also see 'European
Fake Cell Phone Commercial' in Phone-Supp
.......and 'Bill Gates And Farting' in Famous-Gates
.......and 'Man with Hand Phone Goes Into A Bar' in BAR2)
Three men, one German, one Japanese
and a Cajun were
sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping
sound. The German pressed his fore arm and the beep
stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under
the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese fellow
lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained,
"That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Cajun felt decidedly low
tech, but not to be outdone
he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He
stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He
returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his
behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at
him. The Cajun finally said------- "Well, will you look
at that, I'm getting a fax."
Subj: Redneck Etiquette (S57)
From: mbucher in 1998
Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a
While ears need to be cleaned
regularly, this is a job that
should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
Proper use of toiletries can
forestall bathing for several
days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of
Dirt and grease under the fingernails
is a social no-no,
as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter
the tastes of finger foods.
Plucking unwanted nose hair is
time-consuming work. A
cigarette lighter and a small tolerance for pain can
accomplish the same goal and save hours. Its a good idea
to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.
When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper
cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of
the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always
hold it with your fingers covering the label.
Remember to leave a generous
tip for good service. After
all, their mobile home costs just as much as yours.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything
prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at
the table... no matter
how good his manners are.
Be considerate of your guests.
Point out in advance
where the injury-threatening springs are located on
If your dog falls in love with
a guest's leg, have the
decency to leave them alone for a few minutes.
DATING (Outside the Family)
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on
the first date.
No matter how broke you are,
never take your date
flowers that were stolen from a cemetery.
Be aggressive. Let her
know you are interested: "I've
been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff
on the men's bathroom wall two years ago."
Establish with her parents what
time she is expected
back. Some will say 10:00. Others might say "Monday."
If the latter is the answer, it's the boy's responsib-
ility to get her to school on time.
If a girl's name does not appear
regularly on a bathroom
wall, water tower, or an overpass, odds are good that
the date will end in frustration.
Even if you can't get a date,
avoid kidnapping. It's
bad for your reputation.
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up
immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters
on the screen. Tests
have proven they can't hear you.
Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Is it okay to bring a date to
a wedding? Not if you are
When dancing, never remove undergarments,
no matter how
hot it is.
Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you cut.
A bridal veil made of window
screen is not only cost
effective but also a proven fly deterrent.
For the groom, at least rent
a tux. A leisure suit with
a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty
appearance. Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and
shoes for this special occasion.
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the
gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop,
the vehicle with the
largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the
road with a gas can, it
is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Never relieve yourself from a
moving vehicle, especially
Do not remove the seats from
the car so that all your
kids can fit in.
Do not lay rubber while traveling
in a funeral procession.
TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they
Always identify people in your
yard before shooting
Always say "Excuse me" after
getting sick in someone
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
Even if you're certain that you
are included in the
will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the
The socially refined never fish
coins out of public
toilets, especially if other people are around.
If you have to vacuum the bed,
it's time to change
Always provide an alibi to the
police for family members.
Subj: Short Redneck Jokes
Redneck Medical Dictionary
From: virv in 2012 (S790)
Drawing from Comedy Central Stand-Up
Redneck College Exam
..........in 7/16/2012 (S810)
Close Encounters Of The Redneck Kind
From: GILBERT.HENDERSON.JR (d-iFrame)
in 2010 (S682, in Aliens)
Sex Test For Rednecks
..........in 2009 (S641c, S806)
Redneck Word For Today
in 2009 (S637c)
Texas Ditch Surfing
..........in 2008 (S575d-iFrame)
Redneck Fire Alarm (S612b)
Subj: Georgia Safe Cracker
in 2007 (S523b)
A "Safe Cracker" in New York is a person who opens a
victim's safe without knowing the combination;......
in Georgia it's an AIDS-free white girl on the pill.
Redneck 911 Call (S608)
From: darrellvip (d-iFrame)
in 2008 (in Phone-Supp)
Subj: Earl And Bubba Discuss Wives (S604b)
From: gordonschuk in 2007
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says,
'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife she ain't spoke to
me in over 2 months.'
Earl spits, sips his beer and
says, 'Better think it
over, women like that are hard to find.'
Red State Update (S593d-iFrame)
..........in 2008 (in Political-Supp)
Subj: Solving Redneck Murders (S364)
From: Imogenelumen in 2004
Two reasons why it is nearly impossible to solve a
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
..........in 2008 (S580c)
Subj: Jim-Bob Wants To Get Married (S345)
From: LABLaughs.com in 2003
Jim-Bob decided he wanted to get married and brought up the
subject with his Ma and Pa over supper.
"Jim-Bob," Ma said, "yous the
baby of the family. You can't
be gettin' married yet."
"But ma," he protested, "I just had me my 40th birthday."
"That's right, Jim-Bob," Pa said,
"but me and Ma thinks you
best be puttin' off gettin' married till after you finish
Home Depot Hot Dogs (S579b)
From: cappucinid (d-iFrame)
..........in 2008 (in Food-Supp)
Redneck Lawnmower Beer Run
..........in 2008 (S576b,d-iFrame)
Steve's Second Lawnmower DUI
From: tom (d-iFrame)
..........in 2009 (S633c)
In 2005 Steve got arrested for
drunk lawnmower driving.
You can watch this video by clicking on the above story.
Redneck Power Windows
..........in 2008 (S574d-iFrame)
..........in 2007 (S565b)
My Nose Was Running Money"
..........By Aaron Wilburn (S561b)
..........From: rfslick in 2007
Subj: Redneck Waterskiing - GIF (S886)
Made by: Bert The Conqueror
GIF from: GagReport.com
Redneck Harley (S559c)
..........in 2007 (in Harley)
Redneck Gingerbread House
..........in 2007 (S559b)
Redneck Theme Park Ride
..........in 2007 (S544b)
..........in 2011 (S745)
Subj: Hillbillies New Names (S528c)
From: AFine963 in 2007
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading
America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will
no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES. You must now
refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICAN.
Redneck Christmas Lights
..........in 2007 (S522c)
Redneck Coffee Table
..........in 2007 (S522c)
..........in 2007 (S522)
Redneck Rockwell Christmas
..........in 2006 (S517b)
..........in 2006 (S505)
Alcohol And Ammo (S503)
Fm: catlynnbray (d-On Site,SWF)
..........in 2006 (din Games2)
Redneck Wedding Cake
..........in 2006 (S487c)
..........in 2006 (S483b)
Redneck Hot Tub
..........in 2006 (S472c)
Redneck Wedding (S472)
..........in 2006 (in Wedding)
..........in 2005 (S444)
..........in 2005 (S439b)
Hillbilly Fishing (S569b)
..........in 2007 (d-iFrame, in Fishing2)
Subj: Lousiana Quarter (S424b)
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2005
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2004 (S404b)
Q: What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?
A: A family reunion.
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2005 (S437b)
Q: How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
A: There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his