(Includes 10 jokes and articles)
Elderly dancing from
JokesUncut
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Elderly1 Supp, 'old couples'(Gz-m3)
(Includes 10 jokes and articles) |
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Elderly dancing from JokesUncut |
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Subj:
Lays Potato Chip Commercial (S608 in Food_Etc-Supp)
From: ginafm on 9/1/2008 |
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The Wishing Well (S605b)
From: darrellvip on 8/7/2008 |
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This short Benny Hill movie is
cute. You can view
it on my web site by clicking
'HERE'.
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Subj:
Baby Boomers Gone Wild (S577b)
Made by: Walt Handelsman From: aldavito on 1/29/2008 |
This SWF, cartoon movie takes
the song "Born to be Wild"
and rewrites it for the baby
boomers in retirement. Click
on the source above to play
it, or 'HERE' for the version
on my site.
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Subj: How
To Handle A Husband (S563)
From: redcatt on 11/7/2007
A couple was celebrating their
golden wedding anniversary
on the beaches in Montego Bay,
Jamaica. Their domestic
tranquility had long been the
talk of the town. People
would say, "What a peaceful
and loving couple". The local
newspaper reporter was inquiring
as to the secret of their
long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: "Well, it
dates back to our honeymoon
in America," explained the man.
"We visited the Grand Canyon,
in Arizona , and took a trip,
down to the bottom of the
canyon, by horse. We hadn't
gone too far when my wife's horse
stumbled and she almost fell
off.
My wife looked down at the horse
and quietly said, "That's
once." "We proceeded a
little further and horse stumbled
again. Once more my wife quietly
said, "That's twice." "We
hadn't gone a half-mile when
the horse stumbled for the
third time. My wife quietly
removed a revolver from her
purse and shot the horse dead.
*I SHOUTED* at her, "What's wrong
with you, Woman! Why did
you shoot the poor animal like
that! Are you crazy?"
She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."
"And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."
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Subj: Couples
50th Anniversary (S609b)
From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008
There was this couple who had
been married for 50 years. They
were sitting at the breakfast
table that morning when the old
gentleman said to his wife,
"Just think, honey, we've been
married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Fifty years
ago this very day, we were
sitting here at this breakfast
table together."
"Hmmm," the old man said, "We
were probably sitting here naked
as jaybirds fifty years ago
this morning."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What
do you say...should we?" Where-
upon the two stripped to the
buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little
old lady breathlessly replied,
"My nipples are as hot for you
as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied
Gramps. "One's in your
coffee and the other one's in
you oatmeal!"
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Subj: 50th
Anniversary w/Cheap, Late Kids (S322)
From: JBCARY1 on 6/2/2003
Goldberg and his wife were about
to celebrate 50 years
together. The 3 kids were
all very successful careerists,
but not as attentive as the
parents would like. They
agreed to a family dinner at
the old folks home. Of course,
they were late, and had their
excuses.
"Happy anniversary, dad, gushed
no 1 son. I'm sorry I am
running late. Had an emergency
at the hospital, you know
how it is. I didn't have
time to stop and get a present.
Not to worry said the old man.
The important thing is we
are together.
Son #2 cam rushing in, "Pops,
you looking good. And MOM
you're still beautiful, love.
I just got in from L.A. and
didn't have time to get a gift.
I'm so sorry.
Its nothing, said Goldberg, we're
together, thats the main
thing.
Daughter: Mom, Dad, the firm
is sending me to Europe for a
conference. I gotta run
as soon as din din is over. I
didn't have time for a shopping
trip.
Goldberg sighed, I don't care, we just like being together.
Halfway through the meal, Goldberg,
in a reflective mood
said, "listen you 3, some things
been on my mind and I
want to tell you about it.
Your Momma and I came to the
country during the war, penniless,
desperate and in the
struggle to survive. I'm
afraid we never got around to
getting married. We just
knew we loved each other, and
after a few years, it didn't
seem so important, so.."
The 3 offspring with a collective
gasp, said, "Dad! you
mean..you mean to say...we're
BASTARDS?"
"YEAH, AND CHEAP ONES TOO," retorted the old man.
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Senior Prenuptial Agreement (S605)
From: rfslick on 8/8/2008 |
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You can view this cute animated GIF by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Rancher's
50th Anniversary (S291b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/28/2002
While enjoying an Early morning
breakfast in a northern
Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers
were discussing everything
from cattle, horses, and weather
to how things used to be in
the "good old days."
Eventually the conversation moved
on to their spouses.
One gentleman turned to the
fellow on his right and asked,
"Roy, aren't you and your bride
celebrating your 50th wedding
anniversary soon?" "Yup, we
sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are
you gonna do anything special
to celebrate?" another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this
for a moment, then replied,
"For our 25th anniversary, I
took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our
50th, I'll go down there and
get her."
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Subj: Hillbilly's
60 Anniversary (S320b)
From: cohen#il on 98-02-05
and
From: lljknt on 3/20/2003
There is an old hillbilly couple
a sittin' on their porch,
just a rockin'. It's their
anniversary, and they've been
married 60 years. There're
just a sittin' and a rockin'.
Suddenly, the old lady looks
over at the old man and hits
him so hard she knocks him clean
out of his rocker, and he
falls on the porch. He
pulls himself up and clambers back
into the rocker and asks, "What
the heck was THAT for?!"
"That's for 60 years of lousy sex!" she replies.
So they sit there for a time
longer, not sayin' anything,
just a rockin', and suddenly
the old man looks over at his
old wife, and gives her a shove
so hard it knocks her right
out of her rocker. She
shakes herself off, and scrambles
into her rocker again, and says,
" What the heck was THAT
for?"
"That's for knowin' the difference!"
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Subj: 75th
Wedding Anniversary
From: humorlist-digest V1 #280 on 97-12-28
A very elderly couple is having
an elegant dinner to celebrate
their 75th wedding anniversary.
The old man leans forward and
says softly to his wife "Dear,
there is something that I must
ask you. It has always
bothered me that our tenth child never
quite looked like the rest of
our children. Now I want to
assure you that these 75 years
have been the most wonderful
experience I could have ever
hoped for, and your answer can not
take that all that away.
But,.. I must know, did he have a
different father?"
The wife drops her head, unable
to look her husband in the eye,
she paused for moment and then
confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."
The old man is very shaken, the
reality of what his wife was
admitting hit him harder than
he had expected. With a tear in
his eye he asks "Who?.. Who
was he? Who was the father?"
Again the old woman drops her
head, saying nothing at first as
she tried to muster the courage
to tell the truth to her husband.
Then, finally, she says "You."
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Subj:
"Close Your Eyes" (S592)
From: rfslick on 5/25/2008 |
This PowerPoint Show 'Down Memory
Lane' is wonderful. It
flashed text at you while playing
the songs "Close Your Eyes,"
and "In the Still of the Night."
Click 'HERE' to play it.
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Smiley couple from
jtgalvan on 3/7/2007 |