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Subj:    Elderly1 Supp, 'old couples'
               (Includes 31 jokes and articles, 04 1025n,18,cf,vXT4,13)

Elderly dancing  from
JokesUncut
Includes the following:  Pickles Comic Strip (S669)
.........................Boo - 2012 Tropfest Finalist - Video (S880)
.........................Elderly Couple At Gas Station (S251)
.........................Lays Potato Chip Commercial - Video (S608)
.........................How To Handle A Husband (S563)
.........................The Wishing Well - Video (S605b, S776)
.........................Couples 50th Anniversary (S609b)
.........................Baby Boomers Gone Wild - Video (S577b)
.........................50th Anniversary w/Cheap, Late Kids (S322)
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip II (S679b)
.........................Rancher's 50th Anniversary (S291b)
.........................Ballard Street Cartoon (S631b)
.........................Hillbilly's 60 Anniversary (S320b)
.........................Senior Prenuptial Agreement -  GIF (S605, S839)
.........................75th Wedding Anniversery (S668)
........................."Close Your Eyes" - PPS (S592)
.........................Wife Stays With Husband Through Bad Times
.........................Flight Deck (S670)
.........................Ma And Pa Weber
.........................Herman Cartoon (S671)
.........................83 Year Old Lady Has Physical
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip III (S714)
.........................Elderly Couple Has Sex In Front Of Doctor (S99, S373b)
.........................Pickles Comic Strip IV (S719)
.........................Florida Couple Goes Out For Dinner (S304)
.........................Herman Sunday Comic Strip (S737)
.........................Elderly Couple Wants A Divorce (S296)
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip V (S725)
.........................Elderly Couple Plan To Get Married (S276, S826)
.........................Drawing And Quote From Richard Bach (S797)
.........................Very Elderly Couple Plan To Get Married (S292, S631b)
.........................Pickles Comic Strip VI (S742)
.........................Three Pickles Comic Strips VII (S850)

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Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S669)
          By Brian Crane on 11/2/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2009/11/02
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Top
Subj:     Boo - 2012 Tropfest Finalist (S880d)
          From: Tropfest on 11/14/2013
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/1r62vBY9jvM

 Ma and Pa have been married forever and they keep the magic
 alive by staying one step ahead of each other but how many
 steps are too many?  Click 'HERE' to see this award winning
 short film.

Top
Subj:     Elderly Couple At Gas Station (S251)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #191
      and From: dogbyte on 11/21/2001

 An elderly retired couple were driving down the East coast,
 when they stopped in Georgia for a fuel stop.  The elderly
 woman was very hard of hearing, and usually asked her
 husband to repeat everything.

 An elderly station attendant came to the car and started
 filling the fuel tank.  Making idle talk, he asked if the
 man liked the weather, to which the man replied, "Very much."

 "What'd he say?", asked the woman.  "He asked if I like the
 weather, and I told him yes.", replied her husband.

 "Where are you all headed?" asked the attendant. "Oh, we're
 going to Jacksonville." he replied.

 "What'd he say?" asked the woman. "He asked where we're
 going, and I told him to Jacksonville." the husband replied.

 "Where are you-all from?" inquired the attendant a few
 moments later. "Oh, we're from Maine," the man replied.

 "Ah, I was in Maine for two years while I was in the Air
 Force." replied the attendant. "In fact, I dated a girl
 from Maine while I was there. It didn't last long though.
 I have to tell you, this girl was the worst in bed of any
 girl I ever knew."

 "What'd he say?" inquired the woman.

 "He said he thinks he knows you." replied her husband.

Top
Subj:     Lays Potato Chip Commercial (S608d)
          From: ginafm on 9/1/2008 (in Food_Etc-Supp)
..........At: (Removed from youtube.com)

 This short commercial about Lays potato chips and false teeth
 is quite cute.  Click 'HERE' to see this 2004 US commercial
 for Lay's.

Top
Subj:     How To Handle A Husband (S563)
          From: redcatt on 11/7/2007

 A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary
 on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica.  Their domestic
 tranquility had long been the talk of the town.  People
 would say, "What a peaceful and loving couple".  The local
 newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their
 long and happy marriage.

 The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon
 in America," explained the man.  "We visited the Grand Canyon,
 in Arizona , and took a trip, down to the bottom of the
 canyon, by horse.  We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse
 stumbled and she almost fell off.

 My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's
 once."  "We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled
 again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."  "We
 hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the
 third time.  My wife quietly removed a revolver from her
 purse and shot the horse dead.

 *I SHOUTED* at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman!  Why did
 you shoot the poor animal like that!  Are you crazy?"

 She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."

 "And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."

Top
Subj:     The Wishing Well (S605b, S776d)
          From: darrellvip on 8/7/2008
      and From: tom on 11/26/2011
 Source: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4bg4m_benny-hill-wishing-well_fun
 (See "The Wishgranter Short Film" in Love)

 In this short Benny Hill skit, Benny finds a wishing well
 that really works.  You can view this cute video clip by
 clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Couples 50th Anniversary (S609b)
          From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008

 There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.  They
 were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old
 gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been
 married for 50 years."

 "Yeah," she replied, "Fifty years ago this very day, we were
 sitting here at this breakfast table together."

 "Hmmm," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked
 as jaybirds fifty years ago this morning."

 "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we?"  Where-
 upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

 "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,
 "My nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago."

 "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.  "One's in your
 coffee and the other one's in you oatmeal!"

Top
Subj:     Baby Boomers Gone Wild (S577b,d)
          Made by: Walt Handelsman 
          From: aldavito on 1/29/2008
 Source: The source has been removed.

 This SWF, cartoon video takes the song "Born to be Wild"
 and rewrites it for the baby boomers in retirement.  Click
 'HERE' to see this silly, animated cartoon.

Top
Subj:     50th Anniversary w/Cheap, Late Kids (S322)
          From: JBCARY1 on 6/2/2003

 Goldberg and his wife were about to celebrate 50 years
 together.  The 3 kids were all very successful careerists,
 but not as attentive as the parents would like.  They
 agreed to a family dinner at the old folks home.  Of course,
 they were late, and had their excuses.

 "Happy anniversary, dad, gushed no 1 son.  I'm sorry I am
 running late.  Had an emergency at the hospital, you know
 how it is.  I didn't have time to stop and get a present.

 Not to worry said the old man.  The important thing is we
 are together.

 Son #2 cam rushing in, "Pops, you looking good.  And MOM
 you're still beautiful, love.  I just got in from L.A. and
 didn't have time to get a gift.  I'm so sorry.

 Its nothing, said Goldberg, we're together, thats the main
 thing.

 Daughter: Mom, Dad, the firm is sending me to Europe for a
 conference.  I gotta run as soon as din din is over.  I
 didn't have time for a shopping trip.

 Goldberg sighed, I don't care, we just like being together.

 Halfway through the meal, Goldberg, in a reflective mood
 said, "listen you 3, some things been on my mind and I
 want to tell you about it.  Your Momma and I came to the
 country during the war, penniless, desperate and in the
 struggle to survive.  I'm afraid we never got around to
 getting married.  We just knew we loved each other, and
 after a few years, it didn't seem so important, so.."

 The 3 offspring with a collective gasp, said, "Dad! you
 mean..you mean to say...we're BASTARDS?"

 "YEAH, AND CHEAP ONES TOO,"  retorted the old man.

Top
Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip II (S679)
          By Brian Crane on 1/17/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2010/01/17

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute Sunday comic strip.

Top
Subj:     Rancher's 50th Anniversary (S291b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/28/2002

 While enjoying an Early morning breakfast in a northern
 Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything
 from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in
 the "good old days."

 Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses.
 One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked,
 "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding
 anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are
 you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked.
 The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied,
 "For our 25th anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our
 50th, I'll go down there and get her."

Top
Subj:     Ballard Street Cartoon (S631b)
          by Jerry Van Amerongen on 2/07/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ballardstreet/2009/02/07
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Subj:     Hillbilly's 60 Anniversary (S320b)
          From: cohen#il on 98-02-05
      and From: lljknt on 3/20/2003

 There is an old hillbilly couple a sittin' on their porch,
 just a rockin'.  It's their anniversary, and they've been
 married 60 years.  There're just a sittin' and a rockin'.

 Suddenly, the old lady looks over at the old man and hits
 him so hard she knocks him clean out of his rocker, and he
 falls on the porch.  He pulls himself up and clambers back
 into the rocker and asks, "What the heck was THAT for?!"

 "That's for 60 years of lousy sex!" she replies.

 So they sit there for a time longer, not sayin' anything,
 just a rockin', and suddenly the old man looks over at his
 old wife, and gives her a shove so hard it knocks her right
 out of her rocker.  She shakes herself off, and scrambles
 into her rocker again, and says, " What the heck was THAT
 for?"

 "That's for knowin' the difference!"

Top
Subj:     Senior Prenuptial Agreement - GIF
          From: rfslick on 8/8/2008
      and From: tom on 1/31/2013 (S605, S839)

  You can view this cute animated GIF by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     75th Wedding Anniversary (S668)
          From: humorlist-digest V1 #280 on 97-12-28

 A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate
 their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and
 says softly to his wife "Dear, there is something that I must
 ask you.  It has always bothered me that our tenth child never
 quite looked like the rest of our children.  Now I want to
 assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful
 experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer can not
 take that all that away.  But,.. I must know, did he have a
 different father?"

 The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye,
 she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes.  Yes he did."

 The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was
 admitting hit him harder than he had expected.  With a tear in
 his eye he asks "Who?.. Who was he?  Who was the father?"

 Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as
 she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.
 Then, finally, she says "You."

Top
Subj:     "Close Your Eyes" - PPS (S592)
          From: rfslick on 5/25/2008

 This PowerPoint Show 'Down Memory Lane' is wonderful.  It
 flashed text at you while playing the songs "Close Your Eyes,"
 and "In the Still of the Night."  Click 'HERE' to play it.

Top
Subj:     Wife Stays With Husband Through Bad Times
..........From: Max's Humor Archive on 07/15/97

 An 80 year old man was lying in bed dying.  The doctor said
 he had minutes to live.  His first and only wife was by his
 bedside to hear his last words:

 "Honey, do you remember how when we got married, I was a
 cheerful, handsome, wealthy man?  But soon after we were
 married, I lost all my money on bad investments.  Never-
 theless, you stayed with me the whole time.

 Then my first business went bankrupt, and we lost every-
 thing we had.  You didn't leave me.  You were right by my
 side the whole time.

 And now I've had a long sickness, which has used up all
 our savings.  I'm a wrinkled, grouchy, old, poverty-
 stricken, dying man.  You're still by my side!

 So with my dying breath, I just want to say three little
 words to you: YOU'RE BAD LUCK!

Top
Subj:     Flight Deck (S670)
          by Peter Waldner on 11/13/2009
 Source: https://www.creators.com/features/flight-deck
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Top
Subj:     Ma And Pa Weber

 Ma and Pa are sittin' on their rockin chairs out on the front
 porch.  Pa suddenly honks Ma's breasts and says, "If these
 things could still give milk, we wouldn't need them cows."
 Well, Ma is furious, but then again, Pa is gettin' older and
 his mind is startin' to go, so she gives him a dirty look,
 and continues her sewin'.  A couple of minutes later, Pa
 touches her privates and says, "You know Ma, if this thing
 could still lay eggs, we wouldn't need them hens."  Ma's
 veins are poppin' out of her neck by now and she grabs Pa's
 noodle and says, "Pa, if this thing still worked we wouldn't
 need your brother George!"

Top
Subj:     Herman Cartoon (S671)
..........By Jim Unger on 11/18/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2009/11/18

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon.

Top
Subj:     83 Year Old Lady Has Physical (S308)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 12/25/2002

 An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical
 examination whereupon the doctor said "You are in fine shape
 for your age....But tell me...Do you still have
 intercourse?"

 "Just a minute .. I'll have to ask my husband," she said.
 She went out to the reception room and said: "Jake do we
 still have intercourse?"

 Jake answered impatiently........"If I told you once I told
 you a thousand times..." We have blue cross"!!

Top
Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip III (S714)
          By Brian Crane on 9/19/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2010/09/19

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute Sunday comic strip.

Top
Subj:     Elderly Couple Has Sex In Front Of Doctor (S99, S373b)
          From: JOELFALLON on 98-12-16
      and From: Grampsboyd on 3/20/2004

                           Sex Therapy

 A couple, both age 67 went to a sex therapists office.
 The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

 The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
 The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

 When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing
 wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them
 $50.  This happened several weeks in a row.  The couple
 would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems,
 pay the doctor, and then leave.

 Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying
 to find out?"

 The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything.
 She's married and we can't go to her house:  I'm married
 and we can't go to my house.  The Holiday Inn charges $98.
 The Hilton charges $139.  We do it here for $50, and I get
 $43 back from Medicare.

Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip IV (S719)
          By Brian Crane on 10/25/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2010/10/25

 Click 'HERE' to see this three cute comic strips about
 learning to deal with constant change.

Top
Subj:     Florida Couple Goes Out For Dinner (S304)
          From: pns on 11/26/2002

 A retired couple from New York City, Abie and Zelda now
 living in Boca Raton, Florida, were getting ready to go
 out to dinner.  Zelda came out of the bedroom and said
 Abie, "Darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel
 suit or the Gucci one?"

 "Do I care?" he replied.

 A few minutes later Zelda, again, came out of the bedroom
 and said to her husband, "Abie, shall I wear my Cartier
 watch or my Rolex?"

 "Who cares?" said Abie.

 A few more minutes passed and, again, Zelda came out of
 the bedroom and said to her husband, "Abie darling, shall
 I wear my five carat pear diamond ring or my six carat
 round diamond ring with the baguettes?"

 To which Abie responded, "Hey, I really don't care, but
 if you don't get your ass in gear, we're going to miss
 the earlybird special.

Top
Subj:     Herman Sunday Comic Strip (S737)
          By Jim Unger (in Waiter-Waitress)
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/13/2011
 Source: http://comics.com/herman/2011-02-13/

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute Sunday comic strip about
 celebrating your 35th anniversary.

Top
Subj:     Elderly Couple Wants A Divorce (S296)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 4/22/99

 Sam and Molly went for a divorce. The judge looked down at
 them.  "How old are you?" he asked.

 "Ninety-six," replied Sam, "and I'm in the pink, the pink!"

 "Ninety-two," said Molly, "and I feel like sixty, judge!"

 "And you want a divorce?" asked the judge.

 "Yep, that's it, a divorce!" chirped Sam.

 "A complete divorce," echoed Molly, wiping the air clean
 with her hand.

 "Complete.  I never liked her.  Never." said Sam.

 "He made me nervous from the beginning," Molly said,
 "from the first day, I couldn't watch him eat those
 sunflower seeds."

 "How long are you married?" asked the judge, more and
 more incredulous.

 "Seventy-two years!" they said in unison.

 "Seventy-two?"  The judge took a deep breath.
 "But why did you wait so long?"

 They looked at him like he was crazy, and Sam said,
 "We wanted to wait until the children died."

Top
Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip V (S725)
          By Brian Crane on 12/5/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2010/12/05

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute Sunday comic strip about
 TV remote controls.

Top
Subj:     Elderly Couple Plan To Get Married (S276, S826)
          From: pns on 5/13/2002
      and From: tom on 11/6/2012

 A aged couple (mid to late 60"s) decide to get married
 after losing their respective spouses to death, and
 then move to Florida.  They talked through sharing
 household expenses and other miscellaneous things.
 They were both relatively well off with each one
 having a retirement income.

 Jane asks Harold what they should do about their own
 houses. "Well, we ought to each sell our homes and
 then we can each put half the purchase price into our
 new home."

 Harold then asks Jane what she'd like to do about the
 grocery bills and she says "Neither one of us eats
 very much, so maybe we ought to split that bill on a
 monthly basis." to which she agrees.  What about the
 utility bill?  Same sharing response.

 Jane asks Harold what he wants to do about the sex
 thing, and he replies "Oh, infrequently".  Jane sat
 quietly for a moment. Then, looking over her glasses,
 she looked Harold in the eye and casually asking, "Was
 that one word or two?"

Top
Subj:   Drawing And Quote From Richard Bach (S797)
        in The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story 
        From: Stacy Switzer on Facebook on 4/28/2012.
 Source: http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/
.........172963-the-bridge-across-forever-a-true-love-story

 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful drawing and great quote
 from Richard Bach in his book
 The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story.

Top
Subj:     Very Elderly Couple Plan To Get Married (S292, S631b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/3/2002
      and From: tom on 2/9/2009

 George, age 92, and Edith, age 89, had been seeing each
 other for 2 years when they decided that life was too
 short and they might as well be together for the rest of
 their lives.

 Excited about their decision to become newlyweds, they
 went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and what plans
 need to be made.  Along the way, they found themselves
 in front of a drugstore.  George said to his bride-to-be,
 "Let's go in.  I have an idea."

 They walked to the rear of the store and addressed the
 man behind the counter:  "Are you the owner? " asked George.

 The pharmacist answered,  "Yes, sir. How can I help you?"

 George:  "Do you sell heart medications?"

 Pharmacist:  "Of course we do."

 George:   "How about support hose for circulation?"

 Pharmacist:  "Definitely."

 George:   "What about medications for rheumatism,
 osteoporosis,  and arthritis?"

 Pharmacist:  "All kinds."

 George:   "How about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?"

 Pharmacist:   "Yes sir."

 George:   "Hearing aids, denture supplies
 and reading glasses?"

 Pharmacist:  "Yes."

 George:   "What about eye drops, sleeping pills, Geritol,
 Preparation- H and ExLax?"

 Pharmacist:   "Absolutely."

 George:   "You sell wheelchairs, walkers and canes?"

 Pharmacist:  "All kinds and sizes.  May I ask...why
 all these  questions?"

 George smiled, glanced shyly at Edith and replied to
 the pharmacist, "we've decided to get married, and
 we'd like to use your store as our Bridal Registry!"

Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip VI (S742)
          By Brian Crane on 4/2/2011
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2011/04/02
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Subj:     Three Pickles Comic Strips VII (S850)
          By Brian Crane on 5/3/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2012/05/03

 In these three comic strips, Opal and Earl discuss who
 will die first.  Grandson, Nelson and their dog Roscoe
 add their opinions.  Click 'HERE' to read these cute
 comics.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
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...........................From jtgalvan on 3/7/07
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