Subj: Women Supp Jokes
(Includes 20 jokes and articles, 21801,14,cf,md,14)
Woman Mops from
Accent on Animation
| >>>
Subj: Women Supp Jokes (Includes 20 jokes and articles, 21801,14,cf,md,14) |
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Woman Mops from Accent on Animation |
| Subj:
There Are No Ugly Women (S801)
From: virv on 5/16/2012 |
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This photo was made from a competition
in June, 2006 on
the FOX TV show, "The Swan".
Nine women had complete
makeovers, and every possible
beauty treatment available
to them over a period of 12
hours before the contest.
Look at the before and after
photos. It really is
shocking! Conclusion,
there are no ugly women, only
poor women. If only they
had the money, every woman
could be beautiful.
Click on the top source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to see
this amazing photo.
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Subj: Woman
Has A Facelift (S775)
From: allenbergman on 11/19/2011
A woman decides to have a facelift
for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels
pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at
a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the
clerk, "I hope you don't mind
my asking, but how old do you
think I am."
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes
into McDonald's and asks the
counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good
about herself. She stops in
at a drug store on her way down
the street.
She goes up to the counter to
get some mints and asks the
clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to
go home, she asks an old man
waiting next to her the same
question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and
my eyesight is going. Although,
when I was young there was a
sure-fire way to tell how old a
woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let
me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I
tell you EXACTLY how old you
are."
They wait in silence on the empty
street until her curiosity
gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the hell,
go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under
her blouse and begins to feel
around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each
breast and he gently pinches
each nipple. He pushes her breasts
together and rubs them against
each other.
After a couple of minutes of
this, she asks, "Okay, okay....
How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze
of her breasts, removes his hands,
and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman
says, "That was incredible, how
could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you at McDonalds..."
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Subj: Woman
Takes A Jamaican Vacation (S642b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/23/2009
Upon arriving in Jamaica for
a well-deserved vacation, a
woman meets a black man, and
after a night of passionate
love-making she asks him "What
is your name?" "I can't
tell you," the black man says.
Every night they meet,make mad
passionate love and every
night she asks him again what
his name is and he always
responds the same, he can't
tell her.
On her last night there after
extreme love making she
asks again, "Can you please
tell me your name?"
"I can't tell you my name because
you will laugh at me,"
says the black man.
"There is no reason for me to
laugh at you," the woman
says.
"Fine, my name is Snow!" the black man replies.
The woman bursts into laughter.
The black man gets mad
and says, "I knew you would
make fun of it." The woman
replies, "I'm not making fun
of your name. I'm thinking
of my husband who won't believe
me when I tell him that
I had 10 inches of snow every
day in Jamaica."
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Subj:
Understanding Women -- The 9 Phrases (S594)
From: ginafm on 6/8/2008 (Also see 'Secrets Of Women's Language' in DIFFERENCES3) |
This movie shows how little men
understand women. You can
view it at the above source,
or on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Why
It's Better To Be A Woman (S596c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/15/2008
(See '110 Reasons It's Great Being
A Guy' in MEN3)
This is why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems
support men who always
return our
calls, and are nice to us when we blow up
our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make
us look elfin & gorgeous.
Guys look
like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after
a cartoon character or
the central
female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get
to cash in on the life
insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners,
Free movies ... (you get
the point).
11. We can hug our friends without
wondering if
she thinks
we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our
whole lives without ever
taking a
group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate
without ever
touching
her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down
every so often to
make sure
our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize
Caddyshack or Fletch
to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of
the opposite sex without
having to
picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years
younger, we're aware
that we look
like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're
weird if we ask whether
there's spinach
in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate
really can solve all
your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person
just by looking at their
shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize
that the easiest way
to get out
of being lost is to ask for directions.
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| Subj:
Menopausal Woman (S491c)
From: darrell94590 on 6/16/2006 |
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You can view this silly, cute
movie on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: The
Hormone Hostage (S492)
From: darrell94590 on 7/3/2006
The Hormone Hostage knows that
there are days in the month
when all a man has to do is
open his mouth and he takes his
very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that
should be a s common as a driver's
license in the wallet of
every husband, boyfriend, or
significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like
to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in
brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked
up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating
that?
SAFER: You know, there are a
lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass
of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all
day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo
it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you
in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more
chocolate.
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Subj: Short
Jokes And One-liners About Women
| Subj:
Men, Coffee, And Chocolate (S658b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/20/2009 |
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Top
Subj: A Woman
From Latch, Poem (S630c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/4/2009
There once was a woman from
Latch,
Who jacked herself off with
a match.
She got so excited,
The damn thing ignited,
And burnt all the hair off her
snatch.
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Subj:
Why Women Stay Single (S602)
From: darrellvip on 7/24/2008 (See 'Redneck Women' in Redneck2) |
Top
Subj: A Special
Attribute of Women (S609b)
From: ginafm on 9/11/2008
"Whatever you give a woman,
she's going to multiply it.
If you give her a house, she'll
give you a home. If
you give her groceries, she'll
give you a meal. If you
give her a smile, she'll give
you her heart. She
multiplies and enlarges what
is given to her. So . . .
if you give her any crap, you
will receive a ton of shit."
Love and appreciate all the women
in your life.
| Subj:
Life Cycle (S592c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/22/2008 |
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Subj:
The Four Needs Of A Woman (S591)
From: ginafm on 5/14/2008 |
| Subj:
OB-Gyn Phone Answering Message (S570)
By Jolene Roxbury From: gordonschuk on 12/23/2007 |
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Subj:
Women Can't Drive (S541b,d)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/21/2007 |
| Subj:
My Boyfriend (S533c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 4/9/2007 |
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Subj:
If Women Ruled The World (S522b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/18/2007 |
| Subj:
Women's Thought On Men (S512b)
From: darrell94590 on 11/8/2006 |
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Subj: Single Women Sign
(S489c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/1/2006 |
| Subj:
Guaranteed To Be Trouble (S481b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/6/2006 |
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From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 6/23/2007
(S545b)
A woman is like a teabag.
You never know how strong she
is until she gets into hot water.
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...........................
..Smiley
Loves Candy from CKButch4Femme.
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