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Subj: Famous People1 (Gz) (Includes 140 jokes and articles) |
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Elvis ? Me from Millanimations |
.........................Sonny
Bono-Michael Kennedy Jokes (S50)
..............................Short
But Sweet (S51)
..............................Song:
Pine Trees Hurt Babe
..............................Another
Sonny And Michael Song
..............................Short
Sonny Bono/Michael Kennedy Jokes
...................................Kennedy,
Bono And Politicians (S51)
..............................Short
Sonny Bono Jokes
..............................Short
Michael Kennedy Jokes
.........................Diana's
Death Being A Hoax (32)
.........................Definition
Of Globalization (S366b)
.........................Short
Princess Diana Jokes
.........................Beauty Tips From Audrey Hepburn (S119)
.........................Short Pee Wee Herman Jokes
.........................Short
Kennedy Jokes
..............................New
Game (S48)
.........................Boy
Asks Mom About God (S152, S398b)
.........................Michael
Jackson And His Wife Have Baby (S312b)
.........................Michael
Jackson's Neverland Game (S362b)
.........................Short
Michael Jackson Jokes
..............................Voice
Activated Car Stereos (S388)
..............................Joan
Crawford's Daughter (S363b)
.........................The
Traffic Jam (S76)
.........................Short
O. J. Simpson Jokes
Also see COLLEGE2 file- 'Speech
By Charlton Heston At Harvard'
ENGLISH file - 'The Tilde'
FACTS4 file - 'How
Lincoln And John F. Kennedy Were Alike'
MUSIC-SUPP - 'The
Oswald Rock Band'
POLITICAL2 - 'Quotations
From Various Politicians'
......................-
'Dan
Quayle Quotations'
......................-
'Winston
Churchill quotes And Facts'
SPEECHES file- 'Five
Lessons Life Has Taught Oprah Winfrey'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Celebrity Mansions (S557)
From: AFine963 on 9/19/2007 . |
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Subj: Marv
Albert Theme Song
From: auntieg on 97-11-29
Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear
(to be sung to "Walkin' in a
Winter Wonderland")
Lacy things - the wife is missin,
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.
In the store - there's a teddy,
Little straps - like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy
named Marvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy
Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives
are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress - like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' round in women's underwear
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Subj: Short
Marv Albert Jokes
From: humorlist-digest Vol. 01 : Number
212 on September 30 1997
Marv Albert was given a pink
slip by NBC ---
He immediately put it on.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #200 on 97-10-03
Q: Why doesn't Marv like crotchless
panties?
A: His balls fall through.
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Subj: Sonny
Bono-Michael Kennedy Jokes (S50)
From: auntieg on 98-01-11
Top
Subj: Short
But Sweet (S51)
From: RFSlick on 98-01-22
NEWS FLASH from API newswire:
For immediate release
Tahoe
The following was delivered
to our offices less than one hour ago...
FROM: THE TREES
STop tHE LogGINg oR wE WiLl coNtInUE To KIll oNe CeleBrITY EacH WeEK.
theRe ARe nO SkIinG "aCciDenTS."
Top
Subj: Song:
Pine Trees Hurt Babe
Duet sung together by Michael
Kennedy ? Sonny Bono
(to the tune of: "I got you
Babe")
I don't know, but I been told,
that skiing's not a good idea
when you're old....
Well, I don't know if all that's
true,
but I believe that wood's not
all that good for you...
Pine trees hurt babe....
On my face babe....
They don't move babe....
Top
Subj: Another
Sonny And Michael Song
From: humorlist-digest V2 #8 on 98-01-09
Last sung by Michael Kennedy
? Sonny Bono
(TO BE SUNG TO THE TUNE, "I
GOT YOU, BABE")
Mike: They say that we
can't go down the hill,
Before we go we really should write a will.
Sonny: Well I don't know if all
that's true,
Watch out for that bush, 'cause I think it really grew.
Sonny: Tree
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Mike: They say football
on skis is really dumb,
Before we know it we'll both be very numb.
Sonny: I guess that's so, the
wind's in our hair,
You did the sitter, but baby I did Cher.
Sonny: Tree
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Mike: I got flowers on
my grave.
It was stupid, but baby, we seemed brave.
Sonny: And we weren't drunk,
just acting like clowns.
We didn't see the tree, but we sure found the ground.
Mike: Don't let them say
that we can't ski,
We were doin' pretty good 'til we hit that goddamn tree.
Sonny: So I put my little hand
on the branch,
Thought I'd break my fall, but wound up buying the ranch.
Sonny: Tree.
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Sonny: I had Cher to hold my
hand.
Mike: She had you then
found a real man.
Sonny: I had Newt to think with
me.
Mike: I had Ted to drink
with me.
I went and kissed that tree goodnight.
Split my skull from left to right.
I hit the tree, I can't let go.
My blood is dripping on the snow.
Both: I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
I hit you, tree.
Top
Subj: Short
Sonny Bono/Michael Kennedy Jokes
Top
Subj: Kennedy,
Bono ? Politicians (S51)
From: mbucher on 98-01-18
Heard they were going to put
a check box on your tax return so
you could donate to a fund to
buy season ski passes for politicians.
Q: What was a common factor
in the deaths of Chris Farley,
Sonny Bono
and Michael Kennedy ?
A: A white powdery substance.
Q: And why did Sonny Bono
ski into the tree??...
A: It's always been a
good political move to keep up with the Kennedys.
Q: Why did Sonny die in
a ski accident?
A: After being a mayor
and a congressman, he wanted to be a Kennedy.
Q: What's the difference
between Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy?
A: About five days.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #225
on 98-01-24
New England scientists have
been stumped. These are the only two
occurances they can document
of the sap running into the tree.
Top
Subj: Short
Sonny Bono Jokes
Police reported Sonny's passing
was a quick death.
Just like his solo career....
We are all mortal. And in the end, Sonny was just ski and bones.
Q: What did the tree say
after Sonny hit it?
A: I got you, babe.
Q: How was the body found?
A: Sonny side up.
Q: What's the title of
Sonny Bono's new hit single?
A: "I Got Yew, Babe...."
Q: What preceded Sonny
Bono's senseless death?
A: Sonny Bono's senseless
life.
Q: What kind of tribute
should Cher perform at Sonny's funeral?
A: A moment of silence.
Q: How do we know Sonny
was a politician at heart?
A: At the very end, he
was stumping.
From: FrankRoesc on 99-02-19 (S108)
Q: What's the weather like in
Tahoe?
A: Gloomy all over and Sonny
around one tree.
Top
Subj: Short
Michael Kennedy Jokes
A simple accident? Some witnesses
insist there was
a second tree at the snow-covered
knoll...
New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."
John F. Kennedy: Profiles in
Courage.
Michael Kennedy: Profiles in
Wood.
People say Michael Kennedy was
a rich playboy who did nothing.
But in his final moments he
made a big impression.
Yes, Michael Kennedy cheated
on his wife and had sex with an
underage babysitter.
But in the end, he never tried to save face.
There is no doubt that Michael
was R.F.K.'s son.
He was a chip off the old block.
Michael's estranged wife Vicki
was a bit unhappy. She had to
wait an extra week to get her
present under the tree.
Was Michael Kennedy a liberal?
No, he joined
a splinter group of the Birch
society.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #226
on 98-01-28
Too bad Michael Kennedy's kids
were with him at the time...
but he had trouble getting
a baby-sitter.
"They've finally determined
the type of tree Michael Kennedy ran into.
Apparently it was a 14 year
old Virgin Fir."
Some witnesses insist there was another tree at a grassy knoll...
Q: What's the difference
between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
A: John Denver made it
alive out of Aspen.
Q: Has Elton John re-written
any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
A: Not yet, but he's done
one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
Q: How can you be sure
that Michael was really a Kennedy?
A: Check the family tree.
Q: How will the priest
begin Michael Kennedy's eulogy?
A: "We are gathered here
together on this slalom occasion...."
Q: What do Michael and
JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
A: Wood pulp.
Q: What's an event you
don't want to be at?
A: A Michael Kennedy New
Year's Bash
Q: What will it take to
reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
A1: One more bullet.
A2: A season lift pass.
Q: What's the difference
between a dog and Michael Kennedy?
A: A dog barks a lot and
bites. Michael Kennedy bites a lot of bark.
From: Bawdy.Net
Collage #225 on 98-01-24
Q: Why did Michael Kennedy
run into a tree while skiing?
A: He mistook a Dogwood
for a 14 year old bush.
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Subj: Diana's
Death Being A Hoax (32)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #194 on 97-09-06
The rumours are still flying
about Di's death being a hoax to get
her out of the limelight. I
heard that a very reputable source
said that immediately following
the crash, Di was on the radio.
Of course she was also on the windshield, dashboard, seats, etc.
"Actually, this is an *old* joke
that I first heard in reference to
Princess Grace of Monaco, after
she smashed her car in the French Riviera."
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Subj: Definition
Of Globalization (S366b)
From: SCHULACES3 on 1/26/2004
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes
in a French tunnel, riding in
a German car with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was
drunk on Scottish whisky, followed
closely by Italian Paparazzi
on Japanese motorcycles; she was
treated by an American doctor,
who used Brazilian medicines.
This email is sent to you by
an American, using Bill Gates'
technology, and you're probably
reading this on a computer that
uses Taiwanese chips, with a
Korean monitor, assembled by
Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore
plant, transported by Indian
truck drivers, hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian
longshoremen, and trucked to
you by Mexican illegals.
That, my friends, is Globalization!
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Subj: Short
Princess Diana jokes
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #195
Well, I checked out my Yahoo
news page today. At the top
of the list of headlines from
Reuters was the following:
"Monarchy Urged to Follow Diana's
Example"
Good idea - we could even televise
it, rather like
stock-car racing...
Subj: Diana Collage
From: sking on 97-09-19
The following jokes were sent out as a set of Diana jokes.
When the people at the Ritz asked
Princess Di if she wanted
a room for the night she said,
"No, I'm gonna crash with
my boyfriend."
Did Dodi do Di before Di and Dodi died?
"This was in USA Today -- a CNN
poll with an amazing
statistic...58% of women in
this country think there was
too *little* coverage of the
Lady Di events. Too little!
And they wonder why we don't
give them the remote control!"
Did you hear about the new fairy
tale for kids that's
replacing the Cinderella and
carraige story? It's about
Diana.....at midnight, she turns
into a pillar.
From: ipkis on 97-10-11
In the You Knew It had to Happen
Dept: A Volvo dealer
in Macau lost his franchise
after running an ad with a
picture of Prince Diana and
the tagline, "She'd still be
alive if she was in a Volvo."
Diana's heart was in the right
place, if you consider
the glove compartment to be
the right place.
Elton John is rewriting the Princess
Diana song,
the new title will be, "Goodbye
New England's hose"
From: humorlist-digest V2 #60 on 98-03-10
You know, I'm real sad about
the Princess being killed,
but I guess that's the way the
Mercedes bends...
From: humorlist-digest V2 #60 on 98-03-10
Pink Floyd is expected to contribute
to the upcoming
benefit album by singing "All
in all, it's just another
Brit on the wall"
From: BawdyNet Collage #whatever on
98-04-20 (S64)
Microsoft today announced that
they are to rename Windows
98 "Windows Diana". They
expect that it too will be
superficially attractive, consume
lots of resources and
crash horribly.
From: agrief on 12/13/2001 (S254)
PRINCESS DIANA; When you rearrange
the letters:
ENDS IN A CAR SPIN
Q: Why was Lady Di's death a
tragedy?
A: The rest of the Royal Family
wasn't in the back
of the car with
her.
Q: What is the difference between
a Mercedes and a Skoda?
A: Princess Di wouldn't be seen
dead in a Skoda.
Q: What's the difference between
Diana and Tiger Woods?
A: Tiger has a good driver.
Q: What's the similarity between
Neighbours ? Prince Charles?
A: Neighbours have Mrs Mangle,
Charles has mangled Mrs.
From: ipkis on 97-10-11
Q: What would Diana be doing
if she were alive today?
A: Trying to claw her way out
of her coffin.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #212 on 97-11-27
(S43)
Q: What's the difference between
Princess Di
and Michael Hutchence?
A: Michael didn't forget to
wear his belt..........
From: humorlist-digest V1 #272 on 97-12-10
Q: What was the last thing that
went through Diana's mind?
A: The radiator.
Q: What does DIANA stand for....???
A: Died In A Nasty Accident
Q: Did you hear that Di has something
in common
with George Burns?
A: They both died when they
hit a hundred.
Q: Did you hear about the princess
who stayed out
after midnight?
A: She turned into a pillar
of concrete.
Q: Did you hear Pizza Hut is
announcing a "Princess Di
Meatlover's Pizza"?
A: It's made with two kinds
of meat: Egyptian sausage
and Welsh beaver.
Q: What were Di's last words
to her lover ?
A: "Take me up the tunnel ?
make me scream".
Q: When is Diana Princess of
Wales not Diana Princess
of Wales?
A: When shes Di-in-a car crash!!
Q: Why was the pillar red?
A: Because it had Di on it.
Q: Did you hear about Diana on
the radio?
.... on the dashboard?
.... on the steering
wheel?
Q: Why was Diana so thin?
A: Because she was on a crash
diet.
Q: Heard about the new film?
A: Crash 2 The Royal Sequel.
Q: Why did Diana die?
A: So she could be the first
person in the Versace
'98 collection.
Q: What is Diana's favourite
band?
A: Crash Test Dummies.
Q: What is the Queen giving Fergie
for Christmas?
A: A black Mercedes and a trip
to Paris.
Q: What were Di and Dodi's last
drinks at the hotel?
A: A Harvey Wallbanger and a
couple of chasers.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #60 on 98-03-10
Q: What is the difference between
Diana and Tiger Woods?
A: Tiger has a more accurate
driver
Q: What's the one thing that
attracts Diana more
than a wealthy
Egyptian?
A: A brick wall
Q: Did you hear about the new
drink?
A: The Diana Wallbanger
Q: What's the difference between
the NFL and Diana?
A: The NFL players come out
of the tunnel on Sunday.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #107 on 98-05-02
Q: What does Princess Diana
turn into at midnight?
A: A wall.
Q: What do Cellular telephones
and Princess Diana have
in common?
A: Both die in tunnels !
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Subj: Beauty
Tips From Audrey Hepburn (S119)
From: smiles on 5/13/99
Something from Audrey Hepburn,
an actress and much more...
I was watching an old movie,
and remembered that not only
was she an actress, but a woman
that worked to make things
better for children and other
human beings...
BEAUTY TIPS from Audrey Hepburn:
The following poem is quoted from
"Audrey Hepburn" by Barry Paris, (c)1996 Putnam
She read it to children for inspiration
For attractive lips,
speak words of
kindness.
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good
in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food
with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run
his fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge
you'll never walk alone...
People, even more than things,
have to be restored,
renewed, revived,
reclaimed and redeemed
and redeemed ...
Never throw out anybody.
Remember, if you ever need a
helping hand, you'll find one
at the end of your arm.
As you grow older you will discover
that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the
other for helping others".
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Subj: Short
Pee Wee Herman Jokes
There were two historical figures
that got shot in the back
of the head as they sat in the
theater. One was President
Abraham Lincoln. Who was the
other?
The guy sitting in front of
Pee Wee herman.
Q: How do we know Pee Wee Herman
was guilty?
A: He got caught red handed.
Q: What are Pee Wee's favorite
songs?
A: "Easy to be Hard", and "Momma
Told Me not to Come."
Q: What's worse than sitting
in front of Pee Wee in a theater?
A: Surviving a plane crash with
Jeffrey Dahmer.
Q: What did Pee Wee say about
"Saturday Night Fever?"
A: "It's got a good dance and
you can beat to it."
From: dscott on 97-07-24
Q: What's the difference between
Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It only took 12 jerks to
get O.J. off.
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Subj: Short
Kennedy Jokes
Top
Subj: New
Game (S48)
By AJSwitzer
Did you hear about the new game,
Dead Kennedys? They give
you some hints and you name
the dead Kennedy. To prevent
the need for future revisions
the game gives hints about
alive Kennedys too.
eg. Name the dead
Kennedy that liked to combine
football, trees and skiing?
Name the Kennedy that died in World War II?
Name the dead Kennedy that made his millions bootlegging?
God it's tough when you are a modern, witty, sensitive, 90s guy.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #221 on 98-01-07
I understand that there is no
truth to the rumor that Elton
John is going to release, yet,
another version of "Candle
in the Wind." The false
rumor indicated that the newest
version was subtitled:
"Goodbye Aspen's Drunk."
J.F.K and Bobby Kennedy walk
into a bar and the the bartender
says, "What'll it be?" J.F.K
says, "Give us a couple of
shooters."
Only President to win a Pulitzer:
John F. Kennedy for
Profiles in Courage
Used in Bawdy.Net Collage #234 on 98-03-04
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger
marry Maria Shriver?
A: They were trying to create
a bulletproof Kennedy.
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Subj: Boy
Asks Mom About God (S152, S398b)
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and
From: PGSP4LIFE on 12/29/1999
A confused nine year old boy
asks his mother, "Is God male
or female?" After thinking
for a moment, his mother responds,
"God is both male and female"
This confuses the little boy,
so he asks, "Is God black or
white?" She responds along
the same line, "God is both black
and white."
This further confuses the boy
so he asks, "Is God gay or
straight?" The mother
becomes concerned, but answers none the
less, "Honey, God is both gay
and straight."
The son thinks about it, and
his face lights up when he thinks
he finally has answered his
question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"
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Subj: Michael
Jackson And His Wife Have Baby (S312b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 1/6/2003
Michael Jackson and his wife
are in the recovery room with
their new baby son.
The doctor walks in and Michael asks:
"Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"
The doctor replies, "I'd wait
until he's at least 14."
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| Subj:
Michael Jackson's Neverland Game (S390b)
From: Steve G. on 1/4/2004 At: http://www.zooass.com/games/neverland/neverland.shtml |
INSTRUCTIONS:
Help Michael Jackson keep the
kids at Neverland. Use your
mouse to net the escapees.
You can play at the source above
or on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Short
Michael Jackson Jokes
Top
Subj: Voice
Activated Car Stereos (S388)
From: mrx on 7/13/2004
I just bought a new state-of-the-art
Sony car stereo! When
you shout out "Soul", it plays
soul music. When you shout
out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of
my car this morning and I shouted
"Fucking Kids"... and it
played Michael Jackson.
Top
Subj: Joan
Crawford's Daughter (S363b)
From: Imogenelumen on 1/16/2004
The picture "Joan Crawford's
Daughter" can be see on my
web site at http://jokelibrary.150m.com/yyPictures/men3.html
or chick 'Here'
to see the file version.
Michael Jackson was in bed with
his girl friend, and she
asked him: "Michael, what's
a pedophile?"
He replied: "Hmmm... that's
a pretty big word for an
eight-year-old!"
Did you hear that Michael Jackson
and Tonya Harding are
starting up in the horseracing
business?
She's taking care of handicapping,
he's riding the
three-year-olds.
Did you hear that MacDonalds
is coming out with the
MacJackson sandwich? It's a
4 inch weiner between 12 year
old buns.
Michael Jackson's mother yelled
at him the other day,
"Michael, has the paper boy
come yet?"
To which Michael replied, "No,
but he's squirming."
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
Michael Jackson is on a plane
w/a bunch of orphans. The
plane starts to go down.
The pilot hands Michael a
parachute, takes one for himself,
and begins to get ready
to jump. Michael sez,
"But what about the kids?" Pilot
goes, "Fuck the kids!"
To which Michael replies, "Do we
have time?"
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick
his nose ?
A: Through a catalog
Q: What is the difference between
Michael Jackson
and a Shopping
Bag?
A: One is White, Plastic and
unsafe for your children to
play with and the
other you put your groceries in.
Q: What's brown, soft, warm,
and can be found in little
boys' underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand (er,
allegedly).
Q: What have Michael Jackson
and the State of Israel got
in common?
A: They've both pulled out of
Jordan.
Q: How does acne differ from
Michael Jackson?
A: Acne comes on your face AFTER
puberty.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like
J.C. Penny's?
A: Because he heard boys Levi's
are half off.
From: jcary on 99-01-18 (S104)
Q: What's brown and often found
in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.
From: ksnook on 1/21/2002 (S263)
Q: When is it time to go to
bed in Michael Jackson's house?
A: When the big hand touches
the little hand.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Traffic Jam (S76)
From: RFSlick on 98-07-15
A guy is driving along the freeway
in Los Angeles, and as
he reaches downtown, he finds
himself in the middle of a
massive traffic jam that is
blocking up five different
freeways and sending lines of
cars back for miles in all
directions. After a while,
he notices a guy walking
from car to car down the freeway,
stopping and talking to
people through their car windows.
When the guy reaches him, he
rolls down his window and
says, "Hey! What's causing all
this delay?" The guy on
the freeways says, "Well, you're
not going to believe this,
but OJ Simpson has sat down
in the middle of the freeway
intersection up there, and he's
totally distraught, and he
says there's no way he can ever
pay the $35 million he owes
the Goldmans and the Browns;
so he's threatened to douse
himself in gasoline and light
himself on fire if people
don't give enough money sufficient
to cover the cost of
the judgment. So I've
taken up a collection to try to end
the traffic jam."
"How much have you gotten so far."
"About ten gallons."
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Subj: Short
O. J. Simpson Jokes
You heard that Hertz dropped
O.J.'s commercial contract, but
did you hear that Taco Bell
hired him? Yeah, for their Run
for the Border commercials!
Did you hear O.J. was getting
married again?
Yeah, he wants to take another
stab at it.
Did you hear that John Elway
was arrested in the OJ case?
The police heard that OJ was
seen with a "slow white Bronco".
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #89
O.J.'s contribution to a new
family abuse shelter called
Tempura House, it's for lightly
battered women.
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
More evidence that O.J. didn't
kill his ex-wife:
Any man who can sit beside Howard
Cosell on Monday Night
Football without killing him
would never kill anyone.
Q: What is the difference between
O.J. Simpson ? PeeWee Herman?
A: It took 12 jerks for O.J.
to get off.
Q: What is the difference between
OJ Simpson
and Christopher
Reeve?
A: OJ walked, and and Christopher
got the electric chair.
Q: Do you know why they acquitted
O.J. when they did?
A: Thanksgiving was just around
the corner and he was the
only one in the
family who knew how to cut up the white meat.
Q: Why was John Elway being questioned
in the O.J Simpson trial?
A: Because they were talking
about a Slow, White, Bronco.
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
Q: What's the difference between
O.J. Simpson and the king of the jungle?
A: One is an African lion and
the other is a lying African.
From: dscott on 97-07-24
Q: What's the difference between
Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It only took 12 jerks to
get O.J. off.
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