| Subj:
Nudist Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 26 jokes and articles) |
AGAG Animation Gallery |
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Also see AMAZING file - 'Twenty
seven body painting photo's
BAR1 file - 'Angry
Man Comes Into Bar'
BIRTHDAY file- 'Wife
Takes Husband To Strip Club'
CARS2 file - 'Stripping
To Speed Up The Car'
COMPUTERS-SUP- 'Nude Surfer'
ELDERLY2 file- 'Grandpa
Sits Without His Pants'
......................-
'Three
Old Ladies Parade Nude'
FAT file - 'Dirty
Picture In The Refrigerator'
GAMES file - 'Nude
Craps'
HALLOWEEN - 'Snail
Costume'
HOOKER2 file - 'Work For Pay'
JOBS file - 'Top
10 Reasons To Go To Work Naked'
MAILMAM-ETC - 'Playing
"Who Am I"'
NATIONAL file- 'Root
Out Terrorists!'
OTHER-ANIMALS- 'A Great
White'
PENIS2 file - 'Nudist
Sends Photo To Grandma'
PLANE2 file - 'DC-9
Window Frame Crack'
......................-
'Getting
A Ticket From A Flasher'
PRIEST2 file - 'Three
Priests Go Skinny Dipping'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Naked News (S487b)
From: darrell94590 on 5/22/2006 |
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No matter how hard I tried to
focus on the news items, it
didn't work. I can't focus
on the news while a girl strips.
You can view this movie on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: The
Flower Show (S487b)
From: darrell94590 on 5/22/2006
Two little old ladies were sitting
on a park bench outside
the local town hall where a
flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and
said, "Life is so darned boring.
We never have any fun anymore.
For $5.00, I'd take my clothes
off and streak through that
stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly
fumbled her way out of her
clothes and, completely naked,
streaked (as fast as an old lady
can) through the front door
of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon
heard a huge commotion inside
the hall, followed by loud applause
and shrill whistling.
The smiling and naked old lady
came through the exit door
surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement!"
\\\//
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Subj: Two
Boys See Nude Woman (S347, DU)
From: LABLaughs.com on 9/18/2003
One day there were two boys playing
by a stream. One of
the young boys saw a bush and
went over to it and the
other boy couldn't figure out
why his friend was at the
bush so long. The other
boy went over to the bush and
looked. The two boys were
looking at a women bathing
naked in the stream.
All of a sudden the second boy
took off running. The
first boy couldn't understand
why he ran away so he took
off after his friend.
Finally he caught up to him and
asked why he ran away.
The boy said to his friend, "My
mom told me if I ever saw a
naked lady I would turn to
stone, and I felt something
get hard, so I ran."
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Subj: Drivers
Kill Farmer's Chickens (S343b, S583)
From: Imogenelumen on 8/27/2003
Farmer John lived on a quiet
rural highway. But, as time
went by, the traffic slowly
built up at an alarming rate.
The traffic was so heavy and
so fast that his chickens were
being run over at a rate of
three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called
the sheriff's office and said,
"You've got to do something
about all of these people driving
so fast and killing all of my
chickens."
What do you want me to do?" asked
the sheriff.
I don't care, just do something
about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the county
workers go out and erected
a sign that said:
SLOW SCHOOL CROSSING
Three days later Farmer John
called the sheriff and said,
"You've got to do something
about these drivers. The 'school
crossing' sign seems to make
them go even faster." So, again,
the sheriff sends out the county
workers and they put up a
new sign
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
That really sped them up. So
Farmer John called and called and
called every day for three weeks.
Finally, he asked the
sheriff, "Your signs are doing
no good. Can I put up my own
sign?" The sheriff told
him, "Sure thing, put up your own
sign." He was going to
let the Farmer John do just about
anything in order to get him
to stop calling everyday to
complain.
The sheriff got no more calls
from Farmer John. Three weeks
later, curiosity got the best
of the sheriff and he decided
to give Farmer John a call.
"How's the problem with those
drivers. Did you put up
your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And
not one chicken has been killed
since then. I've got to go.
I'm very busy." He hung up the
phone.
The sheriff was really curious
now and he thought to himself,
"I'd better go out there and
take a look at that sign... it
might be something that WE could
use to slow down drivers..."
So the sheriff drove out to
Farmer John's house, and his jaw
dropped the moment he saw the
sign. It was spray-painted on
a sheet of wood:
NUDIST COLONY
GO SLOW AND WATCH OUT FOR THE CHICKS
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Subj: Man
Swims Nude In Lake (S316b, S583)
From: LABLaughs.com on 2/14/2003
The weather was very hot and
this man wanted desperately to
take a dive in a nearby lake.
He didn't bring his swimming
outfit, but who cared?
He was all alone. So he undressed
and got into the water.
After some delightful minutes
of cool swimming, a pair of
old ladies walked onto the shore
in his direction. He
panicked, got out of the water
and grabbed a bucket lying
in the sand nearby. He
held the bucket in front of his
private area and sighed with
relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked
at him. He felt awkward
and wanted to move. Then one
of the ladies said: 'You know,
I have a special gift, I can
read minds.'
'Impossible', said the embarrassed
man, 'You really know
what I think?'
'Yes', the lady replied, 'Right
now, I bet you think that
the bucket you're holding has
a bottom.'
\\\//
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Subj: Photography
Lesson #1 (S419b)
From: Buffalo's Jokes
At: http://www.buffalosjokes.com/12230404.htm
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Subj: Love
Dress... (S298)
From: RFSlick on 10/14/2002
(See 'Three Old
Ladies Parade Nude' in ELDERLY2)
A woman stopped by unannounced
at her recently married
son's house. She rang
the doorbell and walked in. She
was shocked to see her daughter-in-law
lying on the couch,
totally naked. Soft music was
playing; the aroma of
perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to
come home from work," the
daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear
this dress," she explained.
"It excites him to no end.
Every time he sees me in this
dress, he instantly becomes
romantic and ravages me for
hours on end. He can't get enough
of me."
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed,
showered, put on her best perfume,
dimmed the lights, put
on a romantic CD and laid on
the couch waiting for her
husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her
laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress" she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," "What's for Dinner?"
\\\//
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Subj: 30 Harsh
Things To Say To A Naked Guy (S259)
From: gheckman on 1/10/2002
See '30 Harsh Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man' in LIST-SUPP
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Subj: Women
Grows Red Tomatoes (S214, S499b)
From: KMACINTY on 3/9/2001
and
From: darrell94590 on 8/13/2006
A beautiful woman loved growing
tomatoes, but couldn't seem
to get her tomatoes to turn
red. One day while taking a
stroll she came upon a gentlemen
neighbor who had the most
beautiful garden full of huge
red tomatoes. The woman
asked the gentlemen, "What do
you do to get your tomatoes
so red?" The gentlemen
responded, "Well, twice a day I
stand in front of my tomato
garden and expose myself, and
my tomatoes turn red from blushing
so much."
Well, the woman was so impressed,
she decided to try doing
the same thing to her tomato
garden to see if it would work.
So twice a day for two weeks
she exposed herself to her
garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentlemen was passing
by and asked the woman,
"By the way, how did you make
out? Did your tomatoes turn
red?"
"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
\\\//
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Subj: Couple
Takes Son To Nude Beach (S54, S395b)
From: The Bartenders Joke of the Day on 09 Feb 98
and
From: Imogenelumen on 8/21/2004
Two parents take their son on
a vacation and go to a nude
beach. The father goes
for a walk on the beach and the
son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his
mom and says..."Mommy, I
saw ladies with boobies a lot
bigger than yours!" The mom
says..."the bigger they are,
the dumber they are." So he
goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes
running back and says...
"Mommy, I saw men with dingers
a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says..."the bigger they
are, the dumber they are."
The son goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes
running back and says..."Mommy,
I just saw Daddy talking
to the dumbest lady I ever saw
and the more and more he
talked, the dumber and dumber
he got !"
\\\//
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Subj: New
Nudist At Colony (S206, S349b)
From: ipkis on 97-07-13
and
From: Imogenelumen on 10/6/2003
A man joins a nudist colony,
takes off his clothes and starts
wandering around. A 6
foot blond walks by him; the man gets
a hard-on.
Blond: "Sir, did you call for
me?"
New Man: "No, I just got here."
Blond: "You must be new here,
it's a rule when I give
you a hard-on, it implies you called for me."
The blond lays down and lets
the man have his way with her.
The man gets up happy, enters
the sauna, sits down, and farts.
A huge man comes toward him.
Huge Man: "Sir, did you call
for me?"
New Man: "No, I just got here."
Huge Man: "You must be new here,
it is a rule when you
fart, it implies you called for me."
The huge man turns him around
and sodomizes him. The new man
rushes back to the receptionist...
New Man: "Here is your card and
key back. You can keep the
$500."
Receptionist: "But Sir, you only saw 1% of our facilities...."
New Man: (Rudely interrupting)
"Listen lady, I am 45 years
old, I get a hard-on once a month, but I fart 15
times a day. No thanks."
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Nude Jokes
| Subj:
Stripped (S595)
From: tom on 6/15/2008 |
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Subj:
I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore! (S576c)
From: rfslick on 1/24/2008 |
| Subj:
Brazilian Bed Advertisements (S554b)
From: SCOTCOB (in Latin America) on 8/24/2007 |
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Subj:
GoalPoker Penalty Strip (S474 in Other-Sports)
From: darrell94590 on 2/13/2006 |
| Subj:
Flasher Caught (S471c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/20/2006 |
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Subj:
Do No Evil (S467)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/26/2005 |
| Subj:
A Herd Of Sheep (S456)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/14/2005 |
 |
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Subj: Guess
Who Came Home Early (S436)
From: auntiegah on 5/27/2005 |
| Subj:
Nudist Billboard (S427b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/1/2005 |
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Subj:
Nudist Camp Danger (S521c in Hospital2)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/29/2006 |
Top
Subj: Nude
Pictures Of The Wife (S413b)
From: JokesUncut on 12/28/2004
A man wearing a dirty raincoat
sidled up to a
businessman on the street corner
and asked, "Got any
pictures of your wife naked?"
"Certainly not!" huffed the businessman.
The other man inquired, "Wanna
buy some?"
Top
Subj: Policeman
Breaks Up Women's Party in Israel (S328b)
From: jerry on 5/5/2003
A rowdy group of women at a
women-only party in Israel
began to strip and fondle a
police officer who had
came in response to neighbor's
complaints about the
noise believing him to be the
stripper they had ordered
who was to come dressed as a
police officer.
The officer was unsuccessful
convincing the women that
he was the real deal [but how
hard did he try?] until
his partner, the party pooper,
arrived.
Reuters 5-May-03
Top
Subj: Three
Amazing Photos Of A Woman (S303b)
From: gheckman on 11/18/2002
Click 'Here'
to see the three photos. Below the three photos
it explains why they are amazing
Top
Subj: India
Women Plough Fields In Nude (S287)
From: jerry on 7/29/2002
Tribal women in India ploughed
their fields naked to end
the longest dry spell in Madhya
Pradesh history. It is a
tribal belief that it always
rains when women plough the
fields in the buff. The
rain did fall a few hours later.
Here in the U.S. we just wash the car (but not in the nude).
Siffy News (India) 19-Jul-02
Only 14% of Americans say they've
done this with the
opposite sex. What is it?
Skinny dipping.
America's first nudist organization
was founded in 1929,
by 3 men.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal
for a woman to strip off her
clothing while standing in front
of a man's picture.
From: dogbyte on 10/27/2001
Tip of the Day:
Never fry bacon in the nude!
From: mrx on 5/25/2004 (S383b)
You know sometimes I get the
sudden urge to run around
naked. But then I just drink
some Windex. It keeps me from
streaking.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on
9/26/2006 (S505b)
"Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no
influence
on society." -- Mark Twain
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Smiley exposed from
Smiley_Central |