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Subj:     Hospital-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 22 jokes and articles, 17 1053n,16,cf,vXT4a5,13)

Nurse from
Badger's Animated GIF Gallery
Includes the following:  Whyatt Cartoons (S867)
.........................It's Payback Time - Video(S923)
.........................The Effects Of DBS On Parkinson's Disease - Video (S859)
.........................Organ Donor Fired (S275c, DU)
.........................The Blue Shield Song - Musical Video (S884)
.........................Archie Bunker And The Doctor - Video (S849)
.........................Rare Blood Type (S1032)
.........................3D-Printed "Magic Arms" - Video (S813)
.........................The Skin Gun - Movie (S783)
.........................Yoav Medan: Ultrasound Surgery - Video (S782)
.........................Robin Williams Discusses Michael Jackson/Propofol Vid(S776)
.........................The Will (S1043)
.........................Can We Eat To Starve Cancer? - Video (S696b)
.........................Cold Vs H1N1 Flu Symptoms (S665)
.........................Nurses Aren't Supposed To Laugh II (S813)
.........................Nurses Aren't Supposed To Laugh (S640b)
.........................Ann Telnaes Cartoons - GIF (S654)
.........................Gettin' It Checked - Poem (S596c)
                         Short Hospital Jokes
..............................Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S812)
..............................Stool Sample (S772)
..............................Woman Goes To Emergency Room w/Mother (S728)
..............................Ripley's Believe It Or Not (S618b)

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Subj:     Whyatt Cartoons (S867d)
          By Australian cartoonist, Tim Whyatt
 Source: (Removed from facebook.com/photo)
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 This large framed print proudly hangs in the office of my
 wife's obstetrician.  He's the man who brought both of our
 children in to the world so we thought a baby-themed cartoon
 would make a nice gift.  It hardly compares to the 'gifts'
 he has given us, but he still seemed to appreciate the thought.

Top
Subj:     It's Payback Time (S923d)
          Published by: Channel 4
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/xZ0aksbiiXw

 Their world is in the grip of a lethal outbreak. A mysterious
 blue substance is leading to catastrophic destruction. Who is
 behind it all?  Click 'HERE' to learn about The C-Word.

Top
Subj:     The Effects Of DBS On Parkinson's Disease
          From: Wimp.com on 6/22/2013(S859d)
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/uBh2LxTW0s0
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/offneurostimulator/

 Andrew Johnson was diagnosed with Early Onset Parkinson's
 Disease in 2009 when he was 35 years old.  He lives with
 his wife and two children in Auckland, New Zealand.  In
 November 2012 and February 2013 he underwent a surgical
 procedure, Deep Brain Stimulation surgery, to help control
 his motor symptoms. Deep Brain Stimulation is also used to
 control Alzheimer's disease and other neurological problems.

 Click 'HERE' to see this amazing breakthrough in medicine.

Top
Subj:     Organ Donor Fired (S275c, DU)
          From: jerry on 11/26/2001

 Nancy Bevilacqua of Seattle, Washington was fired last
 month by Christopher And Banks, the 352-store clothing store
 chain, because she donated a kidney to her dying mother in
 an emergency procedure, and did so just before the start
 of the holiday gift-buying season.  The company felt that
 allowing her to take leave under these circumstances would
 establish a bad precedent.

 And what says Bavilacqua when she was told, six days before
 the surgery, that she was fired?  "I was aghast and shaken
 up," she said. "To go from one extreme to another."

 And what says John Prange, vice president of human resources
 for Christopher And Banks?  "Allowing the leave could have
 created a precedent whereby other leaves not covered by the
 Family and Medical Leave Act, which were denied, could have
 resulted in a perception of discrimination."

 And what says the doctor, Dr. William Marks?  "All of us
 were just shocked when we realized the implications.  This
 sends an unbelievably negative message.  Giving a kidney
 is a tremendous gift to society as well as a gift to the
 individual."

 Seattle Post-Intelligencer 22-Nov-01
 http://seattlep-i.nwsource.com/local/47757_kidney22.shtml

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Subj:     The Blue Shield Song (S884d)
          Written and performed by ChuckRedden
          From: AFine963 on 12/14/2013
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/h--EsdCJ9AU

 The Blue Shield Song, 'You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me
 Blue Shield' is about the errors of Obamacare.  It is very
 funny and cute.  Click 'HERE' to hear and see this all too
 real song.
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Top
Subj:     Archie Bunker And The Doctor (S849d)
          From: kgilmour2000 on 4/14/2013
..........At: (Removed from youtube.com in the USA)

 In this episode, Archie gets prepared for his surgery by an
 old, black, female, doctor from the West Indies.  The doctor
 puts up with Archie's prejudices, while cracking a whole set
 of very funny jokes.  This may be part of Season 7, Episode 6
 of All in the Family.

 Click 'HERE' to watch these witty barbs by Archie's doctor.

Top
Subj:     Rare Blood Type (S1032)
          From tll3757
 Source: http://tonyjokes.blogspot.com/2014/01/rare-blood-type.html

 An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery,
 but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have
 some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.

 As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood
 that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around
 the world.

 Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare 
 blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his
 blood for the Arab.

 After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW,
 a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars
 in appreciation for the blood donation.

 A few months later,the Arab had to undergo
 a corrective  surgery procedure.

 Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who this
 time was more than happy to donate his blood.

 After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a
 thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
 The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not
 reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.

 He then phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you
 would be more generous than that - last time you sent
 me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only
 sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of
 chocolates?"

 To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have
 Scottish blood in me veins".

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Subj:     3D-Printed "Magic Arms" (S813d)
          From: Wimp.com on 8/4/2012
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/WoZ2BgPVtA0
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/printedexoskeleton/

 Two-year-old Emma wanted to play with blocks, but a condition
 called arthrogryposis meant she couldn't move her arms.  So
 researchers at a Delaware hospital 3D printed a durable custom
 exoskeleton with the tiny, lightweight parts she needed.

 Click 'HERE' to learn how 3D-printing helped this little girl.

Top
Subj:     The Skin Gun (S783d)
          By National Geographic Videos
Photo from PCWorld.com
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/eXO_ApjKPaI
 Source2: https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Y5H9Sasq5U
 Source3: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin_cell_gun
 Source4: http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/934581--skin
..........-gun-that-sprays-stem-cells-being-used-on-burn-victims

 A sci-fi-like skin gun sprays stem cells onto burned skin
 is the latest treatment in helping burn victims.  Dr. Jorg
 Gerlach of the McGowan Institute for Regenerative Medicine
 at the University of Pittsburgh developed the gun, which
 sprays a solution of cells and water onto the damaged skin.

 For Matthew Uram, a Pennsylvania state police officer, the
 skin gun was life-changing.  The 44-year-old was one of the
 first U.S. patients to be treated by the procedure after
 sustaining first- and second-degree burns to the right side
 of his face and body after someone poured gasoline onto a
 bonfire in July 2009 while Uram was standing nearby.

 When Uram went for treatment at UPMC Mercy Hospital's burn
 centre, doctors directed him to Gerlach.  Less than a week
 after the accident, Uram was treated with the gun.

 The gun sprays stem cells that have been collected from a
 small, thin layer of skin that has been grafted from
 patient's own healthy skin, Gerlach explained.

 The process takes about 90 minutes.  Among the handful of
 patients tested, the initial healing of the wound occurred
 within two weeks compared to traditional treatments, which
 take months and pose a risk for patients dying of infection.

 Click 'HERE' to see this amazing National Geographic Video.
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Photo from The Star.com
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 Fearing that this video was too good to be true, I went
 to wikipedia, Source3, and Snopes.com, Source4.  The video
 is a reenactment by National Geographic, but it is all true.

Top
Subj:     Yoav Medan: Ultrasound Surgery
.............-- Healing Without Cuts (S782d)
          From: Wimp.com on 1/9/2012
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/x4lA-M3zbdU
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/ultrasoundsurgery/

 Imagine having a surgery with no knives involved. At
 TEDMED, surgeon Yoav Medan shares a technique that
 uses MRI to find trouble spots and focused ultrasound
 to treat such issues as brain lesions, uterine fibroids
 and several kinds of cancerous growths.
.
 Click 'HERE' to see this amazing
 surgery done without a knife.
Photo from StanfordHospital.org...
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Top
Subj:     Robin Williams Discusses 
.............Michael Jackson On Propofol (S776d)
         From: Wimp.com on 11/27/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOIBBE3ObRY
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/williamsdiscussing/

 This is from episode 5 of series 10 of the Graham Norton Show.
 Guest Robin Williams was questioned about his recent heart
 surgery and his use of the same drug that killed Michael
 Jackson.  He also talks about his daughter Zelda.

 Click 'HERE' to see this funny and interesting talk by
 Robin Williams.

Top
Subj:     The Will (S1043) 
          From: brucejohnsonbaugh and AFine963 on 1/5/2017
 Source: http://www.texasbbqforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=27141

 Doug is in the hospital and knows the end is near.  His
 nurse, wife, daughter and two sons are with him -  hanging
 on his every word. He asks for two witnesses and a
 camcorder in place to record his last wishes.

 And when all is ready he begins to speak:
 "My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
 "My daughter, Sybil, gets the apartments over in the east end."
 "My son, Jamie, will take the offices over in the City Centre."
 "To Sarah, my dear wife, go all the residential
  buildings on the banks of the river."

 The nurse and witnesses are blown away - having no idea
 of his extensive holdings. So as Doug slips away, the
 nurse says to his wife: "It's wonderful that your husband,
 who from all appearances had very little in the way of
 material possessions, accumulated all this property".

 "Property!," the wife scoffs. "The schmuck had a paper route!"

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Subj:     Can We Eat To Starve Cancer? (S696b,d)
          From: Wimp.com on 5/19/2010
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/B9bDZ5-zPtY
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/starvecancer/

 At TED on May 17, 2010, William Li presents a new way to think
 about cancer treatment: angiogenesis, targeting the blood
 vessels that feed a tumor.  The crucial first (and best) step:
 Eating cancer-fighting foods that beat cance at its own game.
 Click 'HERE' to this great break-through in cancer and obesity.

Top
Subj:     Cold Vs H1N1 Flu Symptoms (S665)
          From: RDOBRY on 10/29/2009
..........At: (Removed from blogs.keuka.edu)

 Click 'HERE' to see a chart that compares the symptoms of
 the common cold and the H1N1 Flu.

Top
Subj:     Nurses Aren't Supposed To Laugh II (S813)
          From: Stacy Switzer and rfslick on 8/5/12
 Source: (Removed from Facebook Photos)

 Click 'HERE' to see this sign about a nurse being too
 professional to laugh at a patient.

Top
Subj:     Nurses Aren't Supposed To Laugh (S640b)
          From: allenbergman on 4/18/2009

 'Of course I won't laugh, said the nurse. I'm a professional.
 In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

 'Okay then,' said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers,
 revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen.
 Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than the a AAA
 battery.

 Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then
 fell to the floor laughing.  Ten minutes later she was able
 to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. 'I am so
 sorry,' she said. 'I don't know what came over me.  On my
 honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again.
 Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'

 'It's swollen,' Fred replied.  She ran out of the room.

Top
Subj:     Ann Telnaes Cartoons (S654d)
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 7/21/2009
Drawing from WashingtonPost.com
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions
........./cartoonsandvideos/telnaes/telnaes_main.html

 This animated cartoon discusses the RNC's health
 care reform plan.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

Top
Subj:     Gettin' It Checked - Poem (S596c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/20/2008

 I decided to let the doc check me out,
 'cause I didn't feel really quite right.
 All these aches and pains annoyed me
 Especially when I can't sleep at night.

 He could find nothing out of order,
 But then he sure wouldn't let it rest.
 Said, "You have Medicare ? Blue Cross,
 So I'll just run a 'few' more little tests."

 So, to the hospital I was swiftly sent,
 Though I didn't really feel that bad.
 They tried every way I could be bent
 And did "every" test that could be had.

 I was flouroscoped ? cystoscoped,
 My poor agin' bod's frame displayed.
 Stripped naked, on a cold steel table,
 While every inch internal was xrayed.

 They checked for worms and parasites,
 Even for fungus and some foreign crud.
 And pierced me with big long needles
 While taking whole gallons of my blood.

 Strange people came checking me over,
 They probed, pushed ? poked all around.
 And just to make sure I was really living,
 They completely wired my ass for sound.

 At great expense it was finally concluded
 All the results not even filling one page.
 That what I have may one day kill me;
 Some silly damn thing called OLD AGE!


Subj:     Short Hospital Jokes

Top
Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S812)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins
          on 5/6/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2012/05/06
 Click 'HERE' to see this funny comic strip discuss the
 increasing cost of medical coverage and the alternatives.
 

Top
Subj:     Stool Sample (S772 in Facebook)
          From: Dinah S. Davis-Johnson on 10/26/11
..........At: http://jammer5spolyrant.files.word
.........................press.com/2011/04/stool-sample.jpg
 Click 'HERE' to see this photo of a stool sample.
 

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Subj:     Woman Goes To Emergency Room w/Mother (S728)
          From: ezines@arcamax.com on 12/26/2010
 I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump.
 Recently, after I had a minor accident, my mother
 accompanied me to the emergency room.

 The ER nurse asked for my height and weight, and I
 responded in a serious tone, "Five-foot-eight, 125
 pounds."

 While the nurse pondered this information, my mother
 leaned over to me "Sweetheart," she gently chided,
 "this is not the Internet."
 

Top
(S618b)
     by John Graziano on 9/30/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2008/09/30
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From: LABLaughs.com on 4/3/2002 (S638b)
 "Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak,
 men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is
 strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for
 magic."  -- Thomas Szasz

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..............................From darrell94590
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