Subj:     Pope Jokes
                 (Includes 32 jokes and articles, 24976,4,cf,vXT2,2)

Pope  from
Animation Library
Includes the following:  Bishop Joey - HBO Skit (S976)
.........................The Pope Drives A Car (S24, S648b)
.........................Colonel Sanders Visits The Pope (S132, S458b)
.........................The Pope Buys A Camera (S279b, DU)
.........................The Pope Is Challenged To A Golf Match
.........................Darcy Cartoon (DU)
.........................The Pope And Two Beggars (S925)
.........................Pope's Blessing (S846)
.........................The Pope's Alaskan Vacation (S647)
.........................Cardinal Hans Grapje (S437b, DU)
.........................Cole Cartoon (DU)
.........................Man Wants To Talk To The Pope (S205, DU)
.........................Pope And The Lords Prayer
.........................The Pope And A Call From God (DU)
.........................The Pope And A Lawyer Enter Heaven (DU)
.........................Pope Visits A Construction Site (DU)
.........................Pope At Los Vegas (DU)
.........................The Pope In A Contest With A Jew (S56)
.........................Pope Talks From Balcony
.........................Pope Calls His Mom
.........................The Pope Does A Crossword Puzzle (S641c)
.........................American Has Audience With Pope
.........................Short Pope Jokes
..............................German Pope Makes Changes (S450b)

Also see BAR1 file    - 'Colin's Friends'
         BARBER file  - 'A Vacation In Rome'
         CATHOLIC     - 'Clinton And The Pope Die On The Same Day'
         CLINTONSCNDL2- 'Clinton Meets the Pope'
         DWARFS file  - 'Seven Dwarfs Meet The Pope'
         ENGLISHMAN   - 'The Pope And The Queen On A Balcony'
         HEAVEN2 file - 'Pope Reads Scriptures In Heaven'
         HELL file    - 'Pope, Graham And Roberts Die'
         LAWYER2 file - 'Lawyer Goes To Heaven'
         PHONE file   - 'The Pope And Chief Rabbi Phone The Lord'
         PRIEST1 file - 'Priest Goes Fishing'
......................- 'A Priest And A Drunk Reading The Paper'

Subj:     Bishop Joey (S976d)
          Created by Real Time with Bill Maher
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/Maher/videos/103453326341570/
.......Click 'HERE' to see Bill Maher plays Bishop Joey
..............in Real Time with Bill Maher Episode 275.
Subj:     The Pope Drives A Car (S24, S648b)
          From: darrell94590 on 2/7/2006
      and From: tom on 5/22/2009

 After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the
 limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that
 the Pope is still standing on the curb.

 "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver," Would you please
 take your seat so we can leave?"

 "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let
 me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really
 like to drive today."

 "I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I can't let you do that. I'd
 lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests
 the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

 "Who's going to tell?  Besides, there might be something
 extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.

 Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs
 in behind the wheel.  The driver quickly regrets his decision
 when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accel-
 erating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German Pope.)

 "Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver,
 but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

 "Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans
 the driver.

 The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop
 approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to
 his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

 "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

 The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's
 stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

 "So bust him," says the Chief.

 "I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,"
 said the cop.

 The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

 "No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of

 The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

 Cop: "Bigger."

 Chief: " Governor?"

 Cop: "Bigger."

 "Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

 Cop: "I think it's God!"

 The Chief is even more puzzled and curious: "What makes you
 think it's God?"

 Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!

Subj:     Colonel Sanders Visits The Pope (S132, S458b)
          From: thebartend in 8/6/99

 After watching sales falling off for three straight months
 at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope
 and asks for a favor.

 The Pope says, "What can I do?"

 The Colonel says. "I need you to change the daily prayer
 from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this
 day our daily chicken.' If you do it, I'll donate 10
 million dollars to the Vatican.

 "The Pope replies, "I am sorry That is the Lord's Prayer
 and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.

 After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics,
 and calls again. "Listen, Your Excellency. I really need
 your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change
 the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our
 daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'

 "And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel
 Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much
 money. It would help us to support many charities. But again,
 I must decline. It is the Lord's Prayer, and I can't change
 the words." So the Colonel gives up again.

 After two more months of terrible sales, the Colonel gets
 desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you
 change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day
 our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.' I
 will donate $100 million to the Vatican.

 The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you. "So the next day,
 the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I
 have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news
 is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican.

 The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the
 bad news.

 The pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder
 Bread account."

Subj:     The Pope Buys A Camera (S279b, DU)
          From: twistedhumor.com on 11/1/2000

 A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated
 from his tour group.  After wandering for awhile, he
 needed to relieve himself.  He finally found a bathroom
 and wandered in.  You can imagine his surprise to
 discover the Pope sitting on the toilet masturbating.
 Figuring that this was an attraction few tourists ever
 saw, he snapped a couple of pictures.  The Pope managed
 to recover his composure and offered the fellow $10,000
 for the camera.  The fellow decide to take him up on
 the offer and an exchange was arranged.

 The camera was a pretty nice unit, so after disposing
 of the film, the Pope decided he would use it on his
 world travels.  One day while visiting a foreign
 country, a faithful follower noticed the Pope's camera
 and remarked that it was quite a unit. He then asked,

 "How much did you pay for it?"

 "Ten thousand dollars."

 "Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!"

Subj:     The Pope Is Challenged To A Golf Match
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #212 on 97-11-27

 The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a
 proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel.
 "Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres
 wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior,
 by challenging you to a golf match."

 The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf
 club in his life.

 "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and
 talk to Jack Nicklaus.  We'll make him a Cardinal, he can
 play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!"

 Everyone agreed it was a good idea.  The call was made.  Of
 course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play.  The day
 after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform
 the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad
 news, Your Holiness," said the golfer.

 Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the

 "Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though
 I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life,
 this was the best I have ever played, by far.  I must have
 been inspired from above.  My drives were long and true, my
 irons were accurate and purposeful and my putting was
 perfect.  With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."

 "There's bad news?" the Pope asked. "Yes", Nicklaus sighed.
 "I lost to Rabbi Woods by three strokes."

Subj:     Darcy Cartoon (DU)
          By Jeff Darcy on March 14, 2013
          In Northeast Ohio Media Group
 Source: http://www.cleveland.com/darcy/index.ssf/
Subj:     The Pope And Two Beggars (S925)
          From: tom on 10/6/2014

 Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome,
 Italy.  One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is
 holding the Star of David.  Many people go by, look at
 both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the
 beggar sitting behind the Cross.

 The Pope comes by.  He stops to watch the throngs of people
 giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none
 give to the beggar holding the Star of David.

 Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of
 David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand?
 This is a Catholic Country; this city is the seat of
 Catholicism.  People aren't going to give you money if
 you sit there with a Star of David in front of you,
 especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is
 holding a Cross.  In fact, they would probably give more
 money to him just out of spite."

 The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope,
 smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said,
 "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers
 about marketing!"

Subj:     Pope's Blessing (S846)
          From: tom on 3/31/2013

 Pope Francis finished his first sermon with the Latin phrase
 "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.

 So, after the service, a women's rights group approached him
 and said they noticed he had blessed all Mankind, but hadn't
 blessed all Womankind.

 So, the next day he concluded the service by saying, "Tuti
 Homini, et Tuti Femini"... Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.

 Well!!, the next day, a gay-rights group approached him,
 noting that he had blessed mankind and womankind, but hadn't
 blessed gays, lesbians, transvestites, etc., etc.

 So, the next day, he concluded his Sermon with, "Tuti Homini,
 et Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti."

Subj:     The Pope's Alaskan Vacation (S647)
          From: allenbergman on 5/28/2009

 The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the
 rugged mountains of Alaska.  He was cruising along the
 campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic
 commotion just at the edge of the woods.

 He found a helpless Democrat wearing wearing shorts,
 sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a Save the Trees shirt.
 The man was screaming and struggling frantically,
 thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the
 grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.  As the Pope watched in
 horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah
 shirts came racing up.  One quickly fired a 44 magnum
 slug right into the bear's chest.  The two other men
 pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.
 Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off
 the bear.  Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto
 the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly
 placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. As they
 began to leave, the Pope summoned al of them men over
 to him.

 "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he
 proudly proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred
 between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental
 activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this
 is not true."  As the Pope drove off, one logger asked
 his buddies, "Who the heck was that guy?"

 "Dude, that was the Pope," another replied.  "He's in
 direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

 "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all
 wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting!
 By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go
 back to Massachusetts and get another one?"

Subj:     Cardinal Hans Grapje (S437b, DU)
          From: DoctorDebt on 6/16/2005

 As I understand it, Cardinal Ratzinger was not the Cardinals'
 first choice.  The first choice  was, interestingly, Cardinal
 Hans Grapje.

 Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a
 young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into
 the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s
 until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left
 arm.  Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain,
 giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.

 After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in
 Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to
 villages across the continent.

 In 1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion
 in a silver mine caused a cave-in.  Archbishop Grapje went down
 into the mine to administer last rites to those too severely
 injured to move.

 Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days,
 suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right
 eye.  The high silver content in the mine's air gave him
 purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin

 Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of
 God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders felt
 that he should never ascend to the Papacy.

 However, he was bypassed for the Papacy because they felt that
 the Church would never accept a one-eyed, one-armed, flying
 purple Papal leader.

Subj:     Cole Cartoon (DU)
          By John Cole in Denver Post
 Source: http://blogs.denverpost.com/opinion/2013/02/12/cartoons-of-the-
Subj:     Man Wants To Talk To The Pope (S205, DU)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 11/05/2000

 This guy goes to see the Pope as he was visiting in Europe.
 There is a  huge crowd of people there but he manages to get

 He watches as the Pope stops every once in a while to whisper
 something in a their ear.  He was dressed in his best suit
 because he really wanted the Pope to talk to him but, as the
 Pope came up to him, he walked right by and stopped by a guy
 near him who was homeless and dressed in rags.

 So, the man says to himself, "I know why he stopped at him,
 he's homeless!"  So the man pays the homeless guy 50 dollars
 to use his clothes and he goes back the next day.

 Well, this time the Pope stopped at him, leaned over, and
 whispered, "I thought I told you to get out of here yesterday!

Subj:     Pope And The Lords Prayer
          From: RFSlick on 98-04-30

 Moved to 'Colonel Sanders Visits The Pope' above.

Subj:     The Pope And A Call From God (DU)

 One day,  the phone rings in the Vatican.  "It is for you,
 your Holiness", says the secretary.  The Pope picks up the
 phone, and is absolutely stunned to hear the voice of God,
 calling him.

 God says,  "Hello, my son.  I've been doing a great deal
 of thinking lately.  I've come to the conclusion that I am
 sick and tired of all this fighting and bickering and
 pettiness, in my name, which has afflicted Christianity
 for so long..."

 The Pope, after recovering from his shock and joy, says,
 "Oh, yes, Father.  It has been terrible.  Some days, I
 simply do not know where to turn, or what to say."

 "Well, yes..."  says  God,  "and that is why I've decided
 to do something about it I've got some good news and some
 bad news.  From this day forward, I've decided to proclaim
 one church, one denomination, as supreme and absolute.  No
 more of this dickering over allegience will be tolerated."

 The Pope exclaims, "Oh, Heavenly Father, this is GOOD NEWS
 indeed!  I am so relieved and so excited.  What could
 possibly be bad news about this?"

 "Well.......",  says God, clearing his throat, "the bad
 news is that I'm calling from Salt Lake City."

Sub:     The Pope And A Lawyer Enter Heaven (DU)

 The Pope and a lawyer find themselves together before the
 Pearly Gates.  After a small quantum of time which was spent
 discussing their respective professions, ol' St. Peter shows
 up to usher them to their new Heavenly station.  After
 passing out wings, harps, halos and such, St. Pete decides
 to show them to their new lodgings.  Only a brief flight
 from the welcome, Pete brings them down on the front lawn
 of a huge palatial estate with all sorts of lavish trappings.
 This, Pete announces, is where the lawyer will be spending
 eternity, (at least until the end of time..)

 "Hot Dang", the Pope says to His-self, "If he's getting a
 place like this, I can hardly wait to see my digs!".

 They take flight once again, and as Pete leads on, the
 landscape below begins to appear more and more mundane until
 they finally land on a street lined with Brownstone houses.
 Pete indicates the third walkup on the left as the Popes
 new domicile and turns to leave, wishing the pontiff all his

 The Pope, in a mild state of astonishment, cries out, "Hey
 Pete!  What's the deal here?  You put that lawyer in a
 beautiful estate home and I, spiritual leader of terra-firma,
 end up with this dive?"

 Pete looks at the pontiff amusedly and replies, "Look here
 old fellow, this street is practically encrusted with
 spiritual leaders from many times and religions.  We're
 putting you here with them so you guys can get your dogma
 together.  That other guy gets an estate, because he's the
 first lawyer to make it up here!!"

Sub:     Pope Visits A Construction Site

 When the pope was in Australia at the end of last year (or
 whenever it was), he visited a construction site (perhaps
 he was looking to upgrade the vatican).  Anyway, at the
 site, he walked up to a man who was using a hammer.  Just
 as the pope arrived, the man hit his thumb with the hammer
 and screamed "FUCK ME".  The pope, shocked by what he heard,
 told the injured man to say "JESUS CHRIST" and the good lord
 would come down and take all of his pain away.  So the pope
 made his way along to the next man who was also using hammer
 and also hit himself on the thumb and also screamed "FUCK
 ME".  So the pope told the poor fellow to say "JESUS CHRIST"
 and the good lord would come down and take all of his pain
 away.  The pope kept wandering and came to a third man who
 was cutting some wood with a bansaw.  Just as the pope
 arrived (all three of these men had great timing), the man
 cut his thumb off with the bansaw.  He screamed out loud
 "JESUS CHRIST" and his thumb jumped off the floor from where
 it had fallen and reconnected itself to the man's hand.  The
 pope responded by screaming out "FUCK ME" !!

Subj:     Pope At Los Vegas (DU)

 The Pope walked into this hotel in Las Vegas and walked up
 to the desk to check in.  The clerk said" I don't believe
 it, it's Elvis Presley!"

 The Pope replied," No, No it's me the pope.  See my white

 The clerk said," Oh yes I see, sorry." and gave him his
 keys.  The bellboy came over to get the Popes bags and
 said "Oh my God it's Elvis Presley, I don't believe it.
 I knew you were alive!"

 The Pope chuckled and said, "No, no my son.  I'm the Pope,
 God's representative on earth.  See my pointed hat and
 white robes."

 "Oh yes, I see," said the bellboy and took his bags up to
 the Popes room.  When the Pope got to his room and opened
 his door he saw a naked lady lying on his bed.  The naked
 lady looked at the Pope and shouted, "Elvis Presley, it's
 Elvis Presley!"

 The Pope said, "A one for the money, two for the show..."

Subj:     The Pope In A Contest With A Jew (S56)
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-06-18

 One day, a very long time ago, the pope was looking out
 over his balcony and couldn't help but notice a bunch of
 the Jews walking around on the street.  He could tell
 because they were Hassidic Jews with the black hats and
 the dreadlocks.  Well, this disturbed the pope.  The next
 day he made a proclamation that all of the Jews had to
 leave Rome.  He figured that Rome was the center of the
 Roman Catholic Church and it shouldn't be a home for the

 A bunch of Jews went to the pope and said, "Your holiness!
 Your holiness!  That's not fair, you can't just kick us
 out, we've lived here over 800 years.  You're the pope
 you're supposed to be a fair guy!"

 The pope thinks about this for a moment and says, "You're
 right, I am the pope and I have to be a fair guy, we'll
 have a contest...a contest of symbolism.  If I win, you
 have to leave, if you win, you can stay."  The pope thinks
 to himself that he has this contest all locked up.

 The Jews figure this is the best chance they are going to
 get so they agree.  They set a day to meet at the colosseum.

 The big day comes and the colosseum is packed.  The pope
 walks out to thunderous applause and the crowd cheering,
 "Pope! Pope! Pope!"  He looks great, he's wearing the robes
 and the hat and looks just totally decked out for the
 occasion.  He points to a small group of Jews and says,
 "All right, who do you have?"

 The Jews didn't even know if this contest was a team sport
 or an individual competition.  So they push out Moshe,
 Moshe the puppet maker.

 Just when they push Moshe out the crowd starts to offer a
 little polite applause and Moshe figures to himself, "What
 do I have to lose?"

 The pope says, "I will make the first symbol."  And then
 with a mighty gesture he raises both arms to the sky.
 Moshe looks at him and points to the ground.

 The pope furls his brow and holds up one hand with one
 finger raises so that all can see.  Moshe shrugs and holds
 up three fingers to the pope.

 The pope starts to sweat a little.  He reaches into his
 robes and pulls out some wine and a holy wafer.  Moshe
 reaches in his pocket and pulls out an apple.

 The pope throws up his arms and shouts, "That's it the Jews
 win, they can stay!"  and storms off.

 All of the cardinals and the bishops chase after the pope
 and ask, "What happened?"

 The pope says, "I can't believe it!  First I said, God is
 everywhere, and he reminds me, the pope, that God is here.
 Then I said there is only one god, and he, a Jew, reminds
 me, the pope, of the trinity.  But the last straw was when
 I pulled out the wine and the wafer reminding us of Jesus'
 sacrifice to man, and he pulled out the apple reminding us
 of original sin."  All of the cardinals and the bishops
 sighed and mumbled, "Whoa, those Jews are one clever bunch."


 All the Jews gathered around Moshe and said, "Moshe, Moshe,
 what happened?"

 "Ah, it was nothing.  First he said, Get out of town!  and
 I said, were staying.  Then he said, to hell with you, and
 I said, to hell with you three times....."

 "Then he pulled out his lunch, and I pulled out mine."

Subj:     Pope Talks From Balcony

 The Pope was on his balcony, addressing the assembled
 throng in St. Peter's Square.  "You must love each other
 like brothers!", he proclaimed.  The crowd listened.  "You
 must respect the holy sanctity of marriage!", he cautioned.
 Still they listened.  "You must not have sex outside of
 marriage!", he commanded.

 Suddenly a young woman in the crowd shouted "Hey!  You no
 play-a da game, you no make-a da rules!!!"

Subj:     Pope Calls His Mom

 The Pope calls his mother right after being elected Pope.
 Pope:  Hi mom, I've got some good news and some bad news.
 Mother:  What's the good news?
 Pope:  I've just been elected Pope.
 Mother:  What's the bad news?
 Pope:  I have to move into a Italian neighborhood.

Subj:     The Pope Does A Crossword Puzzle (S641c)
          From: ipkis on 97-08-22

 A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he
 heard that the Pope was on the same flight.  "This is
 exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big
 fan of the Pope.  Perhaps I'll be able to see him in
 person."  Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in
 the seat next to him for the flight.  Still, the gentleman
 was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.

 Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle.
 "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really
 good at crosswords.  Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll
 ask me for assistance."  Almost immediately, the Pope turned
 to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a
 four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'?"

 Only one word leapt to mind... "My goodness," thought the
 gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that.  There must be
 another." The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it
 hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said,

 "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'."

 "Of course," said the Pope.  "Do you have an eraser?"

Subj:     American Has Audience With Pope
          From: RBishop707 on 97-12-07

 An American businessman spent a lot of time in Rome.  A
 devout Catholic, he tried for years to get an audience
 with the Pope.  When his request was finally granted, he
 reverently approached his Holiness and kissed his toe.
 After the Pope had blessed him, the businessman said,
 ``Your Holiness, I want you to know this has been the
 most inspirational experience of my life.  I am deeply
 grateful. While I'm aware of the solemnity of the moment,
 I want to share a story with you.  There were these two

 "Excuse me, my son," the Pope interruptrd, "but are
 you aware that I am Polish?"

 "Yes, your Holiness," the man continued. "But don't
 worry--- I'II go real slow."

Subj:     Short Pope Jokes

Subj:     German Pope Makes Changes (S450b)
          From: Dickschu on 8/29/2005
 To see the changes made by the new Pope, click 'HERE'.

 What does the Pope say when he makes the sign of the
 cross from the balcony?
 On the down stroke "All you dagos"
 On the cross stroke "Get off the grass"

 The youngest pope was 11 years old.

 Q: Why have dogs been banned from the vatican?
 A: Because they pee on Poles.

 Q: What do the Pope And 7-Up have in common?
 A: "Never had it, never will."

 Q: Do you know how the Pope keeps his papers together?
 A: With papal clips.

 Q: What language do the Vatican police speak?
 A: Pig Latin!

 Q: What Kind Of Meat Does The Pope Eat On Fridays?
 A: Nun.

 Q: What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
 A: Popeye almost killed him!

                           -(o o)-
.............................Mass from ClickSmilies.com