Subj: Religion1 Jokes (Gz-m2)
(Includes 13 jokes and articles)
Uplifter Hands from
Animation Factory
| >>>
Subj: Religion1 Jokes (Gz-m2) (Includes 13 jokes and articles) |
|
Uplifter Hands from Animation Factory |
Also see ARAB file
- '15
Schoolgirls Die In Blaze'
ASCII ART I - 'Angle'
ASCII ART III- 'An Angel'
ASIA file - 'Buddhist
Monk Buys A Hot-Dog'
......................-
'Hindu
Women's Red Spot'
ARTIST file - 'Painting
The Last Supper'
......................-
'Man
And His Son Collected Art'
BEAR file - 'The
Atheist And The Bear'
BIRD-PARROT - 'Parrot
Named Moses And The Burglar'
BLACK2 file - 'Jesse
Jackson Turns White'
BODY PARTS - 'Senility
Prayer'
BREAST file - 'Husband
Buys Bra For Wife'
BROTHERS file- 'Two
Brothers Fight'
BUMPER STCKRS- 'Christian
Bumper Stickers'
CARS2 file - 'An Auto
Mechanic And His Dog Mace'
CARS3 file - 'Woman
w/Sick Kid Locks Keys In Car'
CARS-SUPP - 'Boy
Wants To Drive The Family Car'
CATHOLIC file- 'Mother
Teresa's Favorites'
CHRISTMAS1 - 'Christmas
Mistake'
CHURCH file - 'How to
Get Into Heaven'
......................-
'The
Bible According To Kids'
......................-
'Learned
From Noah And The Arc'
COLLEGE2 - 'If
College Students Wrote The Bible...:'
COMPUTER4 - 'Computer
Prayer'
......................-
'The
Computer Prayer II'
DATING3 file - 'Bringing
Home The Fiance'
DIFFERENCES2 - 'Girl's/Boy's
Prayers'
DOG2 file - 'Fundamentalist
Couple Buy A Dog'
ELDERLY3 - 'The
Senility Prayer And Discoveries'
FARNER1 file - 'Rabbi,
Hindu, And Lawyer At Farm House'
FOOD_ETC2 - 'Who
Should Brew The Coffee?'
GOD1 file - 'God Quotation'
HANDICAPPED - 'Blind
Kid Prays For Sight'
HEAVEN1 file - 'Three
Religious Couples Go To Heaven'
HELL file - 'Heaven
is Hotter than Hell'
HUNTING-CMPNG- 'Three
Hunters Caught In A Snowstorm'
......................-
'Hunter
And Bear Pray'
JESUS file - 'Honk
If You Love Jesus'
JEWISH-RABBI - 'Sex...Work
Or Play?'
......................-
'Priest,
Vicar And Rabbi Discuss The Offering'
JOBS3 file - 'Office
Prayer:'
.........KIDS3
file - 'Bible Fun'
MIDDLE_EAST - 'Iraq
In The Bible'
OTHER-OCCUP - 'Photographer's
Test In Florida'
PLANE file - 'Nervous
Passenger Carries A Bible'
.........POLIT-BUSH
- 'President
Bush Meets Moses'
PREACHER file- 'Invocation
In The Kansas Senate'
......................-
'Elderly
Man Looses His Hat'
PRIEST1 file - 'Bob
Hope's Wife And The Priests'
REDNECK-SUPP - 'Uncle
And Nephew Say Prayers Before Bed'
RIDDLE-SUPP - 'Who
Am I Riddle #4'
SCHOOL3 file - 'New
School Prayer'
SCHOOL-SUPP - 'Neighbor
Follows Tim To School'
SHIPS file - 'If
Noah Built The Ark Today....'
TAXES file - 'Man
Goes To Priest With Business Problems'
THANKSGV-SUPP- 'A
Thanksgiving Prayer'
THOUGHTS-KIDS- 'Ice
Cream-Good For The Soul'
THOUGHTS-LRN2- 'Deep
Thoughts'
THO-TIME-SUPP- 'Thousands
Expect Apocalypse in 2012'
============================================================Top
Subj: Cell
Phone Vs. The Bible (S531c)
From: RDOBRY on 3/21/2007
I wonder what would happen, if
we treated our Bible, like
we treat our cell phone?
* What if we carried it around
in our purses or pockets?
* What if we flipped through
it several time a day?
* What if we turned back to
go get it, if we forgot it?
* What if we used it to receive
messages from the text?
* What if we treated it like
we couldn't live without it?
* What if we gave it to kids
as gifts?
* What if we used it when we
traveled?
* What if we used it in case
of emergency?
This is something to make you go "hmmm...where is my Bible?"
Oh, and one more thing.
Unlike our cell phone, we don't
have to worry about our Bible
being disconnected...because
Jesus already paid the bill!
Makes you stop and think "where
are my priorities?"
And, NO dropped calls!
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Having
Faith In The Lottery (DU)
From: kate289 on 5/25/99
Every year at the state fair
Paul entered the lottery for the
brand-new truck and lost.
This year, he told his friend David,
he wasn't going to bother and
enter.
"What kind of attitude is that?"
David asked. He leaned closer
and whispered, "What you need,
pal, is FAITH. Look around and see
if the good Lord sends you a
message."
Strolling around the fair, Paul
grew more and more despondent as
the drawing neared.
Nothing struck him, no divine inspiration,
no sign from God. Finally,
while he was passing old Mrs. Kelleher's
pie stand, he glanced over and
saw the woman bending down. She
wasn't wearing any panties,
and suddenly her ass began to glow.
Suddenly a finger of flame came
from the skies and - without
her even knowing it - used her
ass as a tablet. The fiery finger
etched a seven on each cheek.
Thanking God, Paul rushed to
the raffle booth and played the number
77. A few minutes later,
the drawing was held. And once again,
Paul lost: the winning number
was 707.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: The
Church At Pierce Creed (S81, DU)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-08-14
The following article is NOT
A JOKE. It is interesting
and disturbing.
The only church in history to
have its federal tax-exempt
status revoked is a small country
church in Vestal, New
York called The Church at Pierce
Creek. Their crime that
resulted in that revocation
was simply mentioning the name
of then Arkansas Governor Bill
Clinton in an advertisement
the church placed in USA Today
and The Washington Times.
Colby May, the ACLJ attorney
representing the church, told
The WINDS that the church "ran
into trouble with the
government...soon after the
1992 election" because of the
"rhetorical question they ask
at the very end of the
newspaper piece...'how can we
then vote for Bill Clinton?'
"Therein lies the thread the
government used as reason to
begin an inquiry into how much
money did the church spend
and how did it come to a decision
to run this ad and who
are the members and who is contributing
money to the church
and to the ad, etc."
This action seemed amazing to
the ACLJ attorneys because of
a long history in this country
of such activity on the part
of churches. "Does anybody
in America really believe,"
Colby May asks rhetorically,
"that churches are NOT
entitled to take moral stances
on the issues of the day--
even though it may cross swords
with somebody's politically
correct agenda? Churches
were used to actually raise money
for Jesse Jackson's campaign--but
nothing has ever been done
to those churches, so you have
to ask how come."
"The IRS claims that we were
involved in political activities,"
says Daniel J. Little, Pastor
of The Church at Pierce Creek.
"Our question is; what is political
about condoms to high
schools? What is political
about abortion? What is political
about homosexuality? These
are moral matters and the church
has always exercised itself
in warning people about
participation in sin and immoralities."
In order to institute such action,
May says, "The government
must go through a two-step process."
To ask a church the
kind of questions the IRS is
asking, they must first notify
the church of examination. "Then
if they think it is
warranted, they proceed to the
inquiry stage."
The IRS, May said, then asked
for all of the church's
records on "membership files,
contributors' lists and many
other things which I think they
knew all along that they
were not entitled to--the law
is very clear on that." Does
it sometimes seem as if the
KGB is alive and well--that
perhaps they have just changed
real estate?
Pastor Little adamantly refused
to provide the IRS with the
requested information--with
the exception of how much the
ads cost and when they were
placed. After their initial
request and the church's refusal,
the IRS, for a long time,
was very quiet about the matter.
However, just before
midnight on the day in which
the two-year legal deadline
would have expired permitting
the IRS to pursue such an
inquiry, they initiated final
proceedings. It was then
that the IRS told the ACLJ attorneys
that they really
didn't need all that information
they had requested and
then summarily "informed the
church," May said, "that
their tax-exempt status was
hereby revoked."
After all of the convoluted legal
trails had been trod and
the endless motions and cross
motions were filed, the ACLJ
then asked for "discovery" -
a process whereby the government
is required to present the evidence
of their case against
the accused in the form of documents,
witnesses, etc.,--
whatever the IRS considers substantial
cause for its actions.
"The government vehemently opposed
this, claiming that 'you
don't have any right to get
any information from us.' [Big
Brother is accountable to no
one--especially a small
country church].
"We have filed for relief under
the Religious Freedom
Restoration Act [RFRA]," Mr.
May said, "demanding that the
government must show compelling
interest in taking whatever
action it was taking and that
there was no other way to
accomplish that interest and
that there was substantial
evidence to support their position."
One may recall that piece of
legislation--RFRA--as the
Constitutional Trojan Horse
that Congress passed which many
predict is one of the gravest
threats to the First Amendment
ever enacted."
Is it not indeed ominous that
the religious institutions of
this nation now find it necessary
to appeal to an act of
legislation for redress of grievance
rather than to that
founding document that so clearly
delineates the "guaranteed"
freedoms of its First Amendment?
Is this not their intention?
--that the nation shall, more
and more, look to its present
leadership rather than the principles
upon which it was
instituted, thus obviating the
Bill of Rights?
When a federal court, according
to May, finally ruled that
the IRS must submit to discovery,
"we found out, as we had
thought, that the government
had never before revoked the
exemption of a church--we're
talking about a bona fide,
brick-and-mortar church--a 501(c)(3)
organization. Not just
an exempt organization such
as an educational group or
animal protection society, or
whatever. We're talking about
a real church that marries and
buries and has worship
services and Bible studies and
so on.
"Along with this we found that
the government had engaged
in some very disturbing activity.
They were doing drive-
bys where surveillance was conducted
by the IRS of the
Church at Pierce Creek to photograph
the church building
and Pastor Little's residence
at various times.
"The excuse the government used
was 'Well, we had to know
exactly where the church was."
Will someone please send
the IRS a telephone directory
and a road map? It certainly
must be cheaper than dispatching
agents with cameras. "This
was ironic," May added, "because
discovery also showed that
they had the tax records of
the property" (which, of all
documents, contains the most
precise legal description and
location of any piece of land),
"and a phone listing along
with the exemption the church
had filed almost fifteen years
ago."
"It also turns out that according
to IRS investigator notes
taken during the inquiry, that
they had actually begun this
action due to an editorial in
the New York Times questioning
as to whether running such an
ad violates the church's
political speech restriction
clause in their tax-exempt
agreement.
"As a result of the Times editorial
the IRS included
pejorative language in their
reports, such as 'militant
right' or 'radical Christian
right' to describe the church--
terms that were never used in
the actual New York Times
editorial.
"To us this revealed that the
government really had an ill
motive in picking on this church."
The actions that embroiled The
Church at Pierce Creek in its
battle with the government,
the ACLJ claims, could just as
easily have come from the pulpit
or the appearance of some
politician presenting a "guest
sermon."
The most self-damning statements
made by IRS officials, May
said, were those in which the
government lawyers suggested
that "'if you just had not used
the words 'Bill Clinton,'
if you had just said, 'How can
you vote for candidates that
don't believe like this,' well,
maybe, we wouldn't have had
this problem'"
If they ever had a valid justification
for their action,
May explained, it certainly
could not have been predicated
on the "mere use of the President's
name--especially in the
context of the history of his
moral activities." [ibid.]
Ironically, the IRS tax code
Section 508(c)(1)(A) entitled,
"Special rules with respect
to section 501(c)(3)
organizations" specifically
exempts churches from the
restrictions enumerated under
501(c)(3). "Since only in
501(c)(3) do you have the restrictions
about political
activity," May elaborated, "churches
are exempt
organizations, and don't even
have to abide by the
restrictions of 501(c)(3)."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
 |
Subj:
Mother Goose Comic Strip (S605b)
By Mike Peters From: Grimmy.com on 8/7/2008 |
This comic strip deals with the
Ten Commandments.
You can view it on my web site
by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Religious
Man And The Atheist Neighbor (DU)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #258 on 98-07-02
A very religious man lived right
next door to an atheist.
While the religious one prayed
day in, day out, and was
constantly on his knees in communion
with his Lord, the
atheist never even looked twice
at a church.
However, the atheist's life was
good, he had a well-paying
job and a beautiful wife, and
his children were healthy and
good-natured, whereas the pious
man's job was strenuous and
his wages were low, his wife
was getting fatter every day
and his kids wouldn't give him
the time of the day.
So one day, deep in prayer as
usual, he raised his eyes
towards heaven and asked:
"Oh God, I honour you every day,
I ask your advice for
every problem and confess to
you my every sin. Yet my
neighbour, who doesn't even
believe in you and certainly
never prays, seems blessed with
every happiness, while I
go poor and suffer many an indignity.
Why is this?"
And a great voice was heard from above:
"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Rich
Kid Buys A Ferrari (DU)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 5/14/98
The classic spoiled rich kid
(prodigal son) at 17 tells
his Dad he's leaving, he never
wants to communicate with
them again, and could he please
have his inheritance now.
Reluctantly, the father complies.
The son immediately goes out and buys a Ferrari F-40.
Perhaps feeling a little bad
karma coming on, the son decides
to swing by he church and have
his family's Baptist preacher
bless the car before departing.
He explains to the preacher his
request, and the preacher
looks a little puzzled and asks
"You say its an Italian what?
What's a turbocharger?"
Annoyed, the son zooms away and
pulls into a Catholic church,
hoping the priest might say
a blessing or sprinkle a little
holy water on the radiator.
Puzzled, the priest says "What
is a Ferrari my son?"
Annoyed again, the son zooms
over to the Unitarian church.
The minister comes out and greets
the son, and says "Fucking
Awesome! Ferrari F-40, with
digital fuel injection, 12
cylinder quad turbocharged motor
and a Getrag 6 speed
gearbox. What's a blessing?
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Top
15 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife (DU)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 5/14/98
1. Find an attractive prisoner
of war, bring her home,
shave her
head, trim her nails, and give her new
clothes.
She's yours. --(Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters,
and impress him by
watering
his flock. -- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property,
and get a woman as part
of the deal.
-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When
the women come out to
dance, grab
one and carry her off to be your wife.
-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for
you while you sleep. Note:
this will
cost you. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years
in exchange for a woman's
hand in marriage.
Get tricked into marrying the
wrong woman.
Then work another seven years for the
woman you
wanted to marry in the first place. That's
right, fourteen
years of toil for a wife.
-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off of
your future father-in-law's
enemies and
get his daughter for a wife.
-- David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there,
just wander around a bit?
you'll definitely
find someone. (It's all relative, of
course.)
-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge
nation and hold a beauty
contest.
-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you
like, go home and tell your
parents,
"I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me."
If your parents
question your decision, simply say,
"Get her
for me. She's the one for me."
-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
12. Kill any husband and take
HIS wife (Prepare to lose
four sons,
though). -- David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to
die. Take his widow. (It's
not just
a good idea; it's the law.) -- Onana and Boaz
(Deuteronomy
or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
14. Don't be so picky. Make up
for quality with quantity.
-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife?...NOT! -- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Man
Wants To Jump Off The Bridge (DU)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 5/14/98
I was walking across a bridge
one day, and I saw a man
standing on the
edge, about to jump off. So I ran
over and said "Stop!
Don't do it!"
He said "Why shouldn't I?".
I said, "Well, there's so much
to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well, are you religious
or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian
or Buddhist?"
He said, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you catholic
or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian
or Baptist?"
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you
Baptist church of god
or Baptist church
of the lord?"
He said, "Baptist church of god!"
I said, "Me too! Are you original
Baptist church of god,
or are you reformed
Baptist church of god?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist church
of god!"
I said, "Me too! Are you reformed
Baptist church of god,
reformation of
1879, or reformed Baptist church of god,
reformation of
1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist church
of god, reformation
of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum",
and pushed him off
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
| Subj:
And We Pray (S498c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 8/7/2006 |
 |
This very cute picture can be
viewer at the source above,
or on my web site by clicking
'HERE'.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Wauism
- The Religion For You (DU)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 5/11/98
Dear Friendly Friend:
How many times have you wanted
to fill that yawning
spiritual void in your life
but just weren't able to
find the time or the energy?
How often have you wanted
to form a more personal relationship
with a Higher
Authority but just couldn't
get turned on by that same
old tired selection of Supreme
Beings? Haven't you ever
wished there was just one religion
out there that
understood you, Friendly Friend,
that indulged you, one
that fit in with your creative,
dynamic lifestyle? Well,
at last, thanks to the Creators
of Wauism, there is.
Finally, there's a faith that
works for you, Friendly
Friend, instead of the other
way around. After all these
years, and following an in-depth
market research study,
Wauists Worldwide (A full-service
non-profit agency not
affiliated with CBS International)
has come up with a
religion that draws upon the
best features of some of the
world's most popular denominations,
but goes them all far
better!
Yes, Friend, that's right! Wauism
is everything some
religions are and much, much
more. It's not just a job,
it's an adventure; it's a breath
mint, and a candy mint;
it's everything you always wanted
in a God and less.
Designed using the latest in
CAR (Computer-Aided Religion)
technology, here's just a few
of the features Wauism
offers:
1. Guaranteed Salvation. Guaranteed.
Other religions
require you to
behave a certain way in the here-and-now
in order to make
out in the hereafter; with Wauism, you
can do whatever
you want, because your salvation is
guaranteed!
Wauism realizes you've got enough to worry
about in life without
having to be nervous about where
you're headed after
you die, so relax! As a Wauist,
death means never
having to have said you're sorry.
Whatever Heaven
you want is yours; or if you'd rather
just be dead, that's
fine, too.
2. Your Choice of Supreme Being.
No more arguing about
who's more all-powerful,
Jesus or Mohammed, Buddha or
Joseph Smith.
Stop fighting about whether Allah could
take The
Holy Ghost in a wrestling match. End the
endless bickering
over whether the Supreme Deity is a
He or a She.
With Wauism, you can choose. Using the
patented Godolyzer,
you make God in your image. Combine
Jesuss' hairdo
with Mother Nature's eyes. Add the musical
flair of Krishna
to the sexual swagger of Zoroaster. You
want a Lord who's
vengeful but also knows how to rock?
No problem.
Using the Godolyzer, with or without the
templates provided,
you make the call.
3. Eat Whatever You Want. Remember
fish sticks on Friday?
Or how about unleavened
bread? And who--try as they
might--can forget
"bitter herbs?" Well, now, thanks to
Wauism, you can.
As a Wauist, you'll never have to
tongue another
Eucharist wafer off of your palate or
nurse another hangover
brought on from sacramental wine
again. Glut
your maw however you'd like, whenever you'd
like. Eat all you
want, just want all you take.
4. More Efficient Commandments.
Some religions take as many
as Ten Commandments
to lay down their laws. Wauism, using
the latest in data-compression
techniques, has significantly
reduced the number
of Commandments and has also managed to
dramatically decrease
their stringency. Think of them
simply as a Couple
of Suggestions, and if you'd rather
not, hey, Friend,
that's quite all right, too.
5. No Sexual Taboos. Has anything
turned more people away
from the power
above the heavens than the power below
their waists?
Wauism doesn't have the problem, because
as a Wauist, you
Friendly Friend, can stick or get
stuck however you
want with whom or whatever you want
whenever or wherever
you want. As long as no one gets
hurt--or just if
they want to--Wauism says have fun.
And be safe.
6. More and Better Holidays.
Even the most fun-loving
religions usually
have only half a dozen or so major
holidays a year.
And often several of these are days
of atonement or
fasting. Wauism, on the other hand,
features a full
complement of 365 full-scale religious
holidays a year!
366 for leap year. And all include
presents and feasting.
7. No Hazing Rituals. No hitting
with sticks. No
drenchings in water.
No knives aimed at your privates.
Need we say more?
8. No Annual Fee. Because of
low overhead (no Gothic
cathedrals to keep
up, no sacred texts to maintain, no
Crusades to mount)
Wauism is offered to you entirely
free! A letter
now and again would be nice, but hey,
don't sweat it.
9. 100% Compatibility. Wauism
does not require you to
change or upgrade
any of your existing religious or
sectarian beliefs.
It is in no way mutually exclusive.
You can be a Wauist
and anything else you want, too--
even Republican.
10. Quit at Any Time. No forms to fill
out, no messy dyes
to spill, no one
will call you. You can be a Wauist
one day and something
else the next. Change hourly if
you'd like.
By the second if you'd prefer. Or, be a
Wauist forever.
It's entirely up to you. So, there you
have it, Friend,
in a nutshell--a pistachio to be exact.
With Wauism, you
get all the plusses of other religions
with none of the
minuses. It's like having your cake and
eating it, too.
Heck, it's like owning the whole bakery!
And because you,
Friendly Friend, are who you are, and
only sometimes
somebody else, you have been selected to
participate in
this charter membership offer. As a Wauist,
you'll enjoy the
benefits of the world's only computer-
designed faith
as well as the peace of mind of knowing if
the Armageddon
does come, it's not your fault!
So, join today and start receiving
the benefits immediately.
All you have to do is whatever
you want. Make no phone
calls unless you feel so inclined.
Write no letters unless
it strikes your fancy. Send
no money, unless you want to.
Be a Wauist or don't be.
You are still surrounded in a
cone of love.
Sincerely,
D.A. LeTang Wauist
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Bible
Study Group (S568c)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 5/8/98
A Bible study group was discussing
the unforeseen
possibility of their sudden
death. The leader of the
discussion said, " We will all
die some day, and none
of us really know when, but
if we did we would all do
a better job of preparing ourselves
for that inevitable
event."
"Everybody shook their heads
in agreement with this
comment."
Then the leader said to the group,
"What would you do if
you knew you only had 4 weeks
of life remaining before
your death, and then the Great
Judgment Day?"
A gentleman said, " I would go
out into my community and
minister the Gospel to those
that have not yet accepted
the Lord into their lives."
"Very good!", said the group
leader, and all the group
members agreed, that would be
a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically,
"I would
dedicate all of my remaining
time to serving God, my
family, my church, and my fellow
man with a greater
conviction."
"That's wonderful!" the group
leader commented, and all
the group members agreed, that
would be a very good thing
to do.
One gentleman in the back finally
spoke up loudly and
said, "I would go to my mother-in-laws
house for the
4 weeks."
Everyone was puzzled by this
answer, and the group leader
ask, "Why you mother-in-laws
home?"
The gentleman smiled sarcastically
and replied, "Because,
that would be the longest 4
weeks of my life!"
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Religious
Shit
(Also see 'Religious View
Of Shit' in SHIT)
Hare
Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama ding dong
Hinduism: Shit happened before
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
Confucianism:
Confucius say, "shit happens"
7th day adventist: Shit happens
on Saturday
Protestanism:
Shit won't happen if I work harder
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it
Jehova's witness: Knock, knock,
shit happens
Unitarian: What is this shit?
Mormon: Shit happens, again and again and again
Judaism: Why do this shit happen to me?
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: PMS
In The Bible (S187)
From: Bawdy.Net Bah! Humbug! Collage on Date: 97-12-25
and
From: gheckman@ on 08/29/2000
During his sermon on Sunday,
the local preacher told his
congregation that the entire
range of human existence
could be found in the Bible.
If anything can happen to
humans, it is described somewhere
in the Bible.
After the service, a woman came
up to the preacher and said,
"Reverend, I don't think the
Bible mentions anything about
PMS anywhere."
The preacher told the woman he
was certain he could find
a reference to PMS somewhere
in the Bible. During the
following week, he searched
diligently, book-by-book,
chapter-by-chapter, and verse-by-verse.
On the following
Sunday, the woman came up to
him and asked, "Did you find
PMS mentioned in the Bible?"
The preacher smiled, opened his
Bible, and began to read:
"......and Mary rode Joseph's
ass all the way to Bethlehem."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
 |
Subj:
A Prayer For Our Soldiers (S548c in Sold-Supp)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/10/2007 |
This web page is a prayer and
five photos of our troops.
It's best to view them on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
 |
Studying the bible from
Wonderin Bout Genealogy II |