Subj: Female Breast Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 54 jokes and articles)
Click "Here" for Breast-Supp
Peeking Tom
from
Buckmaester's Index
| >>>
Subj: Female Breast Jokes (Gz) (Includes 54 jokes and articles) Click "Here" for Breast-Supp |
|
Peeking Tom from Buckmaester's Index |
Also see AMAZING file - 'Twenty
Seven Body Painting Photos'
ASIAN file - 'Tongue
Twister'
BARBER file - 'Little
Girl Goes To The Barber'
BARBIE file - 'Playboy
Sells Dolls'
BODY PARTS - 'Two
Women Discuss Cosmetic Surgery'
CAMEL file - 'A
Nun, A Priest And A Dead Camel'
CARS3 file - 'Airbag
For Men'
Catholic - 'Woman
Tries To Attend Mass Without Head Cover'
COLLEGE1 file- 'School
Letters'
COMPUTER-SUPP- 'Mouse Pad For
Men'
COWBOY2 file - 'Cowboy
Poetry - Women's Underwear'
DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Flashing
Your Breasts'
......................-
'Eating
A Pastie'
DOCTOR1 file - 'Doctor
And The Voluptuous Woman'
......................-
'Doctor,
Buxom Lass And The Baby'
DOCTOR2 file - 'Woman
Has Face Lift'
DRINKINGBEER1- 'Beer
Temperature Tester'
EDEN file - 'If
God Made Eve First'
ELDERLY2 file- 'A Phone
Call To Grandpa - Movie'
HOSPITAL2 - 'True
Hospital Stories'
IRISH1 file - 'Kelly
And Riley Get In A Fight'
JOBS3 file - 'Woman
Returns Toaster'
KIDS5 file - 'Losing
Your Grand Kids In The Mall'
KNIGHT file - 'Obsessed
w/Queen's Breasts'
MARRIAGE1 - 'Tits
And Toilet Paper'
MARRIAGE3 - 'Picking
A Wife'
MARRIAGE5 - 'Doctor
Examines Wifes Breasts'
MARRIAGE6 - 'Husband
And Wife Complain'
MEN3 file - 'Ten
Things Men Know For Sure About WOMEN'
MEN4 file - 'Men's
Life Cycle'
MOTHERS file - 'Why Mom's Can't
Do Yoga - Movie'
PENIS2 file - 'Self-Examination'
......................-
'Magic
Mirror And The Penis'
.........PRIEST3
file - 'Three
Priests Buy Train Tickets'
SHIP file - 'John's
Boat'
TESTS-SUPP - 'Concentration
Test For Men'
.........WAITER
file - 'Lady
Asks Waiter To Hold Her Breast'
.........WOMEN1
file - 'Sunbathing'
============================================================Top
Subj: Mamomogram
Nightmare (S434)
From: DoctorDebt on 5/23/2005
"It was like this, Your Honor...I
actually kept my mammogram
appointment. I was met with,
'Hi, I'm Belinda!'
"This perky clipboard carrier
smiled from ear to ear, tilted
her head to one side and crooned,
'All I need you to do is
step into this room here, strip
to the waist, then slip on
this gown. Everything
clear?'
"I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
"Belinda skipped away to prepare
the chamber of horrors. Call
me crazy, but I suspect a man
invented this machine. It takes
a perfectly healthy cup size
of 36-B and converts it to a size
38-LONG. Also, girls aren't
made of sugar and spice and every-
thing nice...that's Spandex.
We can't be stretched, pulled and
twisted over a cold 4-inch piece
of square glass and still pop
back into shape.
"Belinda flipped me (literally)
to the left and said, 'Can you
stand on your tippy-toes and
lean in a tad so we can get every-
thing?'
"'Fine', I answered. I was freezing,
bruised and out of air, so
why not use the remaining circulation
in my legs and neck and
finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern
that defied gravity (with my
other boob wedged between those
two 4" pieces of square glass)
when we heard, then felt, a
zap!
"Complete darkness and the power
went off! 'What?' I yelled.
'Oh, maintenance is working.
Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda
headed for the door.
'Excuse me! You're not leaving
me in this vice alone, are you?'
I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said,
'Oh, you fussy puppy... the door's
wide open so you'll have the
emergency hall lights. I'll be
right back.'
"Before I could shout, 'NOOOO!'
she disappeared. And that's
exactly how Bubba and Earl,
maintenance men extraordinaire,
found me, half-naked with part
of me dangling from the Jaws
of Life and the other part smashed
between glass!
"After exchanging polite 'Hi,
how's it going' type greetings,
Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked,
to my utter disbelief, if I
knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria I
replied with as much calmness
as possible, 'Uh, yes...yes I
did, thanks.'
"'You bet, take care,' Bubba
replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in
the line at the grocery store.
"Two hours later, Belinda breezes
in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress
her amusement, she said, 'Oh I
am soooo sorry! The power
came back on and I totally forgot
about you! And silly me,
I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
"And that, Your Honor, is exactly
how her head ended up
between the clamps.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Seven
Advantages Of Breast Milk (S129b, S542c)
From: KMACINTY on 7/10/2003
and
From: aldavito on 6/3/2007
Mother's Milk......
Students in an advanced biology
class were taking a mid term.
The last question was "Name
seven advantages of mothers milk,"
worth 70 points or none at all.
One student who had also
partied the night before, was
hard put to think of seven
advantages.
He finally wrote:
1. It is a perfect formula for
the child.
2. It provides immunity against
several diseases.
3. It is always available as
needed.
4. It is always at the right
temperature
5. It is inexpensive
6. It bonds the child to the
mother, and vice versa.
And then, the student was stuck.
Finally, just before the
bell indicating the end of the
test rang, he wrote.......
7. It comes in such cute containers.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Kinds
Of Breasts And Penises (S333, S521)
From: auntiegah on 6/16/2003
and
From: gattica30 on 1/10/2007
A young man asks his father,
"Dad, how many kinds of
breasts are there?
The father, surprised, answers,
"Well, son, there are
three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's
breasts are like melons, round
and firm. In her thirties
to forties, they are like pears,
still nice but hanging a
bit. After fifty, they are like
onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
A young woman asks her mother,
"Mom, how many kind of
penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers,
"Well, daughter, a man
goes through three phases.
In a man's twenties, a man's
penis is like an oak, mighty
and hard. In his thirties
and forties, it is like a birch,
flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like
a Christmas tree in January."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Hardening
Of The Nipples (S321b)
From: JokesUncut on 3/21/2003
WATER DEPARTMENT
RING!
Southeast Treatment Plant, this is Dave...
"Is this the water department?"
Yes Ma'am, for most of this area...
"Good. I have some very technical
questions to ask you
about the water"
I'll try and help...
"Why are my nipples getting so hard?"
You're not really serious...
"I AM SO!! My nipples...
they're hard and they have this
white coating on them!"
Uhhhh, huh... hard, uhhh, nipples with white, uhh... stuff...
"Not only that, they're getting warped!"
I see...
"They used to be soft, pink and round!"
I'm sure they were...
"Now they really look disgusting!"
I'm sure they do...
"So I want to know what you're going to do about this!"
I really don't think I can help
you. Have you discussed
this with your personal physician?
"Yes I have! He said I
should call you because he thought
it was from the water!"
I see... uhhhh, just why and
how does he think the water
is causing this?
"He said cleaning them in boiling water sometimes does that."
Sounds painful... can't you just sponge them off?
"Painful?! THE BABY BOTTLE
NIPPLES ARE THE ONES I'M
TALKING ABOUT!"
Now I understand...
"Are you going to buy me new ones?"
Why would we do that?
"Because your water ruined these.
My baby won't suck them
anymore. He's been sick
and I think it's from the white
stuff... he used to really suck..."
May I ask how old your baby is?
"He's six, going on seven"
Six... and he refuses the bottle?
Maybe he's getting a
little old for the bottle...
"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!"
I wasn't. How long have you been using these nipples?
"Since he was born"
Hmmmmm. My guess is the
white film is from the calcium
carbonate in the water... kind
of like bathtub ring of
the nipple... and they are hard
and warped because of
being boiled and bitten for
six years...
"So! You are refusing to pay!"
Well, that's not for me to decide.
I was only trying to
suggest they might just be plain
worn out.
"THEY WOULDN'T BE WORN OUT IF YOUR WATER WAS ANY GOOD!"
There is really nothing more I can do for you...
"JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MONEY?"
Well, why don't you just run
down to our main office.
There you can file an insurance
claim...
"What good would that do? Will they give me the money?"
They will investigate and make
a judgement whether to
settle or not...
"Well, you sure haven't been
any help! How do I get
them to pay more attention than
you have?"
Just show them your nipples!!
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Old
Man And Girl On Beach (S311)
From: thebartend on 1/17/2003
An old man was on the beach and
walked up to a beautiful
girl in a bikini -
"I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts,
I will give you twenty
dollars," he says.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts,
I will give you ONE
HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated "NO!
Get away from me!"
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.
She paused to think about it,
but then comes to her
senses and said, "I said NO!"
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you
let me feel your breasts,"
he claimed.
She thought, well he is old,
and he seems harmless
enough...and $500 IS a lot of
money.... "Well, OK...
but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and
while both are standing
there on the beach, he slid
his hands underneath and
began to feel... then he started
saying, OH MY GOD...
OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD..." while
he was caressing them.
Out of curiosity, she asked him,
"Why do you keep saying,
'Oh my god, oh my god'?"
While continuing to feel her
breasts he answered, "OH MY
GOD...OH MY GOD.. OH MY GOD...
OH MY GOD, where am I ever
going to get five hundred dollars?
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: The
Boob Poem About Mammograms (S228)
From: KMACINTY on 2/26/2001
For years and years they told
me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise
them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she
said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts,"
she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's
fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming
down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within its vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said
to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard
her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the
other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and
down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this
done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do
this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came
in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in
there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a
man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls
in there,
And see how THEY come out.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Ahmed
Obsessed By Queen's Breasts (S220b)
From: ICohen on 4/17/2001
Ahmed, a high ranking official
in King Akbar's court, had
one longstanding obsession -
to suck the queen's voluptuous
breasts to his heart's desire.
Every time he passed the
queen he would get frustrated
in his lust. He revealed his
desire to Birbal one day and,
knowing Birbal's legendary
resourcefulness, begged him
to help. Birbal, after much
thought, agreed to help Ahmad
achieve his desire on the
condition that Ahmed later pay
him a 1000 gold coins. Ahmed
agreed.
The next day Birbal prepared
a lotion which would cause
severe itching for several hours.
With the help of a
conspiring maid, it was poured
into the queen's bra while
she took her bath. Soon the
itching began. By the afternoon
it was unbearable.
Birbal was summoned for help.
After consultations with
doctors, Birbal advised the
Emperor that a special saliva,
if applied for several hours,
could cure the condition.
Birbal also added, of course,
that such a saliva could
only be found in Ahmed's mouth.
Akbar summoned Ahmed. For
the next 4 hours Ahmed sucked
the queen's breasts. Licking,
biting, pressing, playing,
he got what he had always pined
for. By evening the itch
was gone. The king and
the queen were most grateful for
Birbal's advice.
But Ahmed now refused to pay
Birbal the 1000 gold coins,
secure in the knowledge Birbal
would never report the
matter to the emperor since
he himself was involved. So
the next day Birbal put a larger
dose of the same lotion
into the Emperor's underwear
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Milk
Of Kindness (S164)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 03/23/2000
Learning that he had a rare disease
whose only cure was mother's
milk, Mr. Shipman took out a
personal ad looking for a nursing
mother. To his delight,
he found a woman almost at once and,
after agreeing on a price, he
went up to her apartment.
As it happened, Mr. Shipman had
incredibly soft lips, and an
active tongue, and after five
minutes of nursing, the woman was
almost beside herself with passion.
"Is there anything else I can offer you?" she panted.
Smiling impishly, Mr. Shipman
responded, "If it's not too much
trouble, do you happen to have
any Oreos?"
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Man
Admires Neighbor's Wife's Breasts (S158)
From: icohen on 02/07/2000
One day this fellow noticed that
a new couple had moved into
the house next door. He
was also quick to notice that the woman
liked to sunbathe in the backyard,
usually in a skimpy bikini
that showed off a magnificent
pair of breasts. He made it a
point to water and trim his
lawn as much as possible, hoping
for yet another look.
Finally, he could stand it no
more. Walking to the front door
of the new neighbor's house,
he knocked and waited. The husband,
a large, burly man, opened the
door. "Excuse me", our man
stammered, "but I couldn't help
noticing how beautiful your wife
is."
"Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied.
"Well, in particular, I am really
struck by how beautiful her
breasts are. I would gladly
pay you ten thousand dollars if I
could kiss those breasts."
The burly gorilla is about to
deck our poor guy when his wife
appears and stops him.
She pulls him inside and they discuss
the offer for a few moments.
Finally, they return and ask our
friend to step inside.
"OK," the husband says gruffly,
"for ten thousand dollars you
can kiss my wife's breasts."
At this the wife unbuttons her
blouse, and the twin objects of
his desire are freed at last.
Our man takes one in each hand,
and proceeds to rub his face
against them in total ecstasy.
This goes on for several minutes,
until the husband gets annoyed.
"Well, come on, kiss 'em!" he
growls.
"I can't," replies our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling.
"Why not?" demands the husband, getting really angry by now.
"I don't have ten thousand dollars..."
\\\//
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Subj: Chris
Pays $100 To See Nora's Breasts (S07, S368)
From: collins2 on 4/18/00
(See 'Sees
Something Under The Card Table' in GAMES
and see 'Work For Pay' in HOOKER2)
A guy goes over to his buddy's
house, rings the bell,
but his buddy's wife answers.
"Hi is Tony home?"
"No he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No come in."
They sit down and the friend
says "You know Nora, you have
the greatest breasts I have
ever seen. I'd give you a
hundred bucks if I could just
see one."
Nora thinks about this for a
second and figures what the
hell,.... It's worth one
hundred bucks.
She opens her robe and shows
one. He promptly thanks her
and throws 100 bucks on the
table. They sit there a while
longer and Chris says "They
are so beautiful. I must see
the both of them. I'll
give you another 100 bucks if I
could just see the both of them
together."
Nora thinks about this and says
what the hell, opens her
robe and gives Chris a nice
long look. She feels bad for
him, so she pushes her breasts
into his face for a moment
and she let's him have a few
squeezes.
Chris thanks her and throws another
100 bucks on the table
then says he can't wait any
longer for Tony and he leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home
and his wife says "You know
your weird friend Chris came
over."
Tony thinks about this for a
second and asks,
"Well,... did he drop off the
200 bucks he owes me?"
\\\//
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Subj: Got
Milk? (S129b)
From: thebartend on 6/8/99
Moved to 'Four Advantages Of Breast Milk' in this file.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Women
With Big Tits... (S402)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #283 on 99-02-01
..can get a taxi on the worst
days
..have a neat place to carry
spare change
..have always been the center
of the arts (art)
..make jogging a spectator sport
..can keep a magazine dry while
laying in the tub
..have more negotiating power
(with men shorter than them)
..usually can find leftover
popcorn after a movie
..can always carry a little
extra
..always float better
..know where to look first for
lost earrings
..rarely lack for a slow dance
partner
..have a place to set their
glasses when sitting
in an armless recliner
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Women
With Little Tits... (S402)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #263 on 98-08-01
..don't cause a traffic accident
every time
they bend over in public
..always look younger
..find that dribbled food makes
it to the napkin on their lap
..can always see their toes
and shoes
..can sleep on their stomachs
..have no trouble sliding behind
the wheel of small cars
..know that people can read
the entire message on their t-shirts
..know that everything more
than a handful is wasted
..can come late to a theater
and not disrupt an entire aisle
..can take aerobic class without
running the risk
of
knocking themselves out
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: :-)
(?>)(?>) (-: (S77, S367)
From: auntieg on 98-07-18
and
From: Imogenelumen on 2/5/2004
First, there were :) smiley emoticons.
Then there were (_)(_) butt
emoticons.
Now, there are (.)(.) emoti-boobies!
(.)(.) Boobies
( . )( . ) Bigger Boobies
( O )( O ) Pamela Anderson-Lee boobies
(,)(,) Boobies with pierced nipples
. . Very Little Boobies
( * )( * ) Implanted Boobies (very pert)
(
) ( )
Nursing Mom boobies
(.) (.)
/\ /\ Madonna Boobies
-?.>?.>- Teeny Bikini Boobies
--(.)(.)-- Regular Bikini Boobies
---( . )-( . )--- Mondo Bikini Boobies
x x No boobies
(/)(/) Feminist Boobies
( + )( + ) Fake Silicone Breasts
(@)(@) Big Nipple Breasts
o o A Cups
(oYo) Wonder Bra Breasts
( ^ )( ^ ) Cold Breasts
(o)(O) Lopsided Breasts
(Q)(O) Pierced Nipple Breasts
(p)(p) Hanging Tassels Breasts
\ o /\ o / Grandma's Breasts
( )( ) Against The Shower Door Breasts
| o | | o | Android Breasts
___ ___ Mammogram Breasts
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Four
Types of Bras (S154, S354)
From: Anaise on 98-06-02
and
From: collins2 on 01/13/2000
A man walked into the ladies
department of a Macy's and
shyly walked up to the woman
behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my
wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquired the man. "There is more than one type?"
"Look Around," said the saleslady,
as she showed a sea of
bras in every shape, size color
and material. "Actually,
even with all of this variety,
there are really only four
types of bras," replied the
sales clerk.
Confused, the man asked what
were the types. The saleslady
replied "The Catholic type,
the Salvation Army type, the
Presbyterian type, and the Baptist
type. Which one do you
need?"
Still confused the man asked,
"What is the difference between
them?"
The lady responded, "It is all
really quite simple:
The Catholic type supports the
masses,
the Salvation Army type lifts
up the fallen,
the Presbyterian type keeps
them staunch and upright,
and the Baptist type makes mountains
out of mole hills."
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Subj: Finding
the Right Girl (S233)
From: Octagon999 on 98-03-28
and
From: ICohen on 7/17/2001
When I was in junior high school,
all I wanted was a girl
with large breasts.
In high school, I dated a girl
with large breasts, but
there was no passion. So I decided
I needed a passionate
girl.
In college, I dated a passionate
girl, but she was too
emotional. Everything
was an emergency, she cried all
the time. So I decided
I needed a girl with some stability.
I found a very stable girl, but
she was boring. She never
got excited about anything.
So I decided I needed a girl
with some excitement.
I found an exciting girl, but
I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to
another, never settling on
anything. She was without
direction. So I decided to
find a girl with some ambition.
After college, I found an ambitious
girl and married her.
She was so ambitious, she divorced
me and took everything
I owned.
Now all I want is a girl with large breasts.
\\\//
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Subj: Mammogram
(S216)
From: KMACINTY on 3/16/2001
As a physician, I thought I would
pass this helpful hint to
all my women friends.
If this ends up in a guy's mailbox,
please give to your wife.
Many women are afraid of their
first mammogram, but there
is no need to worry. By
taking
a few minutes each day for
a week preceding the exam and
doing the following practice
exercises, you will be totally
prepared for the test, and
best of all, you can do these
simple practice exercises in
your home.
EXERCISE 1:
Open your refrigerator door and
insert one breast between
the door and the main box.
Have one of your strongest
friends slam the door shut as
hard as possible and lean on
the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat again in case
the first time wasn't effective
enough.
EXERCISE 2:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when
the temperature of the cement
floor is just perfect. Take
off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor with
one breast wedged under the
rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car
up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the
other breast.
EXERCISE 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against
one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as
hard as you can. Set an
appointment with the stranger
to meet next year and do it
again. You are now properly
prepared.
For those dear men out there
who would like to empathize,
but have no foundational knowledge
to base that empathy on.
Squeeze both testicles in to
ONE ice cube receptacle in an
ice cube tray. Women everywhere
will thank you. Of course,
you will need to see a physician
immediately there after.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
Subj: Short
Breast Jokes
| Subj:
Cute T-Shirt (S469b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/12/2006 |
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Subj:
Show Me Your Tits (S468b)
From: jbcary1 on 1/6/2006 |
| Subj:
Getting A Tan On The Beach (S435b)
From: darrell94590 on 5/27/2005 |
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Subj:
Staring At Breasts Is Healthy (S435)
From: darrell94590 on 5/25/2005 |
| Subj:
The Vissor Slut Machine (S432)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/6/2005 |
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Subj:
Guess What Cup Size???? (S431)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/29/2005 |
Top
Subj: Three
Babies Poem (S431b)
From: LABLaughsAdult20050426
on 4/26/2005
There once was a young girl
who begat
Three small babies named Ned,
Pat and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
When she found there was no
Tit for Tat.
| Subj:
Bra Size Explained (S428b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/8/2005 |
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Top
Subj: Male
Hypnotic Tools (S392)
From: JokesUncut on 7/29/2004
at http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/mht.htm
.
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Subj: Male Hypnotic
Tools - Close-Ups (S457)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/26/2005 Source: http://pages.globetrotter.net/mcordeau/2004/exercice1.swf to http://pages.globetrotter.net/mcordeau/2004/exercice5.swf |
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Click 'HERE' for close-up | |||
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Click 'HERE' for close-up | |||
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Click 'HERE' for close-up | |||
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Click 'HERE' for close-up | |||
| .
Click 'HERE' for NEW close-up |
Top
Subj: Bra
Sizes: (S384b)
From: Imogenelumen on 6/6 7:01
"Have you ever wondered why
A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and
H are the letters used to define
bra sizes? If you have
wondered why, but couldn't figure
out what the letters
stood for, it is about time
you became informed!"
{A}........Almost Boobs...
{B}........Barely there.
{C}........Can't Complain!
{D}........Dang!
{DD}.......Double Dang!
{E}........Enormous!
{F}........Fake.
{G}........Get a Reduction.
{H}........Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up
Top
Subj: Boob
Cursor... (S383)
From: mrx on 5/15/2004
Cute at - http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/boobcursor.htm
Top
Subj: Janet
Jackson's Wardrobe Malfunction (S366)
From: CKButch4Femme on 2/3/2004
The incident occurred at half
time of Super Bowl XXXVIII
on February 1, 2004. If
you wish to view it go to my
web site at
http://jokelibrary.150m.com/yyPictures/breast2.html
or click 'Here'
to see my file version
Top
Subj: New
Bra Invented In Texas (S349b)
From: RFSlick on 10/5/2003
A scientist from Texas A?M University
has invented a bra
that keeps women's breasts from
jiggling and prevents the
nipples from pushing through
the fabric when cold weather
sets in.
At a news conference announcing
the invention, the scientist
was taken outside by a large
group of cowboys who kicked the
shit out of him.
Top
Subj: Curing
Infertility In India (S323b)
From: jerry on 4/8/2003
Bonehead award one goes to hundreds
of women in Parkal in
Andhra Pradesh, India, who made
regular visits to a man,
a self-proclaimed swami, who
told them that because he is
blessed by the Hindu god Lord
Shiva that he can cure their
infertility by visiting him
twice weekly and letting him
massage their breasts.
From a purely male perspective,
you understand, he may
have indeed been blessed.
At least until his arrest for
cheating and outraging the modesty
of women.
Ananova (UK) 8-Apr-03
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Subj: Metal-Free
Bras (S259b)
From: jerry on 10/22/2001
Triumph International, a Japanese
bra manufacturer,
announced the launching of metal-free
bras, dubbed by
some news sources as the "frequent
flyer bra,' meant
for women who often fly and
whose conventional bra
with metal fasteners set off
airport metal detectors
under today's tightened airport
security.
Kyodo News (Japan) 19-Oct-01
Top
Subj: Speech
By Candidate (S251b)
From: jerry on 11/19/2001
Claire Sargent, a failed Arizona
senatorial candidate:
"I think it's about time we
voted for senators with breasts.
After all, we've been voting
for boobs long enough."
Top
Subj: Survey
(S247)
From: mombear1 on 10/23/2001
WARNING!!!!
Please send this to everyone you know!!
If a man comes to your front
door and says he is
conducting a survey and he asks
you to show him
your boobs...
DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS!
This is a scam, and he is only
trying to SEE YOUR
BOOBS. I wish I had heard
about this before yesterday.
I feel so stupid.
Top
Subj: Husband
Buys Bra For Wife (S116)
From: scott_pryor on 4/18/99
A man walks into the woman's
section of a department store
and tells the sales clerk he
wants to buy a bra for his wife.
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "there's more than one type?"
"There are three types." replies
the clerk, "The Catholic
type, the Salvation Army type,
and the Baptist type. Which
one do you need?"
Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference in them?"
The clerk responds, "It is really
very easy. The Catholic type
supports the masses, the Salvation
Army type lifts up the fallen
and the Baptist type makes
mountains out of mole hills."
From: humorlist-digest V2 #218 on 98-09-15
When I see something as tender
as a mother holding a baby to
her breast, I think to myself,
"Man, I wish that damn baby
would get out of the way."
From: collins2 on 99-02-13
*You know it's going to be a
bad day when:
You put your bra on backwards
and it fits better*
From: RFSlick on 8/25/2001 (S239)
In the last couple of weeks
I have seen the ads for the
Wonder Bra. Is that really
a problem in this country -
men not paying enough attention
to women's breasts?
-- Hugh Grant
From: a jpg by Deb Lein on 01/25/02
(S260)
and From: vaterbenicia@sbcglobal.net
on 5/21/2006 (S487b)
A good friend is like a good
bra... Hard to find,
supportive, comfortable, and
always close to your heart.
Click 'HERE'
to see this as a JPG picture.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #224 on 98-01-22
Q: Why do men like big tits
and tight pussy?
A: Because they've got big mouths
and little dicks.
From: BREWONETO on 98-02-16
Q: How do you make 5 pounds
of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.
From: BawdyNet Test Message on 98-02-28
Q: What are the small bumps
around a woman's' nipples for?
A: They are Braille for "suck
here".
Q: Why do women have tits ?
A: So men will talk to them.
From: RFSlick on 98-04-10
Q: What do you call bees that
make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
From: Tom_Adams on 98-05-08
Q: Why are women's breasts like
a train set a kid gets
for Christmas?
A: Because they were originally
made for children
but the father
always wants to play with them.
From: Tom_Adams on (S68)
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip the flat ones.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #267 on 98-08-21
Q: What's the shortest distance
between two points?
A: A tight blouse.
From: auntieg on 98-10-10
Q: What is a zebra?
A: 26 sizes larger than an "A"
bra.
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/24/2004 (S399b)
Q: What do you call the space
between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
A: Silicon Valley.
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/28/2005 (S425b)
Q: What do you call boobs on
a girl scout?
A: Brownie points
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