Subj: Condom Jokes (Gz-m4)
(Includes 50 jokes and articles)
Condom Man
from
Bulldog Sexy Animated Gifs
| >>>
Subj: Condom Jokes (Gz-m4) (Includes 50 jokes and articles) |
|
Condom Man from Bulldog Sexy Animated Gifs |
Also see BAR1 file
- 'Angry Man
Comes Into Bar'
BIRDS-DUCKS - 'A
Duck Walks Into A Drugstore 1st Vers.'
......................-
'Two
Ducks At A Restaurant'
CANADIAN file- 'Canadian
And American Discuss Breakfast'
CARTOON file - 'Donald
Duck and Minnie Mouse'
COWBOY file - 'New
York Sorority Girl Visits Texas'
DENTIST file - 'How
To Make Surgical Gloves'
DOCTOR-SUPP - 'Mother
Consults Doctor About Daughter Dating'
FACTS5 file - 'African's
Thoughts on Condoms And Aids'
FRENCH file - 'French
And American Meet At Breakfast'
IRISH1 file - 'Irish,
English, And Scotsman Discussing Their Wives'
JOBS file - 'Job
Candidate Has A Facial Tick'
MANNERS file - 'Dear
Abby - Wedding Preparations'
POLITICAL2 - 'New
Republican Emblem'
.........PREACHER
file- 'The
Preacher's Wife Was Pregnant'
SEX3 file - 'Trojan
Games'
SPERM file - 'News
- Hormones in Semen'
TRACK file - 'Wife's
Lover Runs Nude In Race'
......................-
'Olympic
Condoms'
WEDDING-HNYMN- 'Retiree
Goes On Honeymoon w/Showgirl'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Italian Chewing Gum (S460)
From: darrell94590 on 11/14/2005 |
 |
You can view this cute movie on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Standing
In Line At The Drug Store (S537b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/4/2007
True story.
I work at a company whose logo
is the Spartan man head...
when my daughter was 8 she went
to a doctor's appointment
and needed a prescription filled.
We went to the local
CVS drug store and went to the
pharmacy counter. They
were quite busy. While
standing in line my 8 yr old was
directly in front of the waist
to floor rack of condoms.
She saw the Trojan brand with
the same Spartan guy head
and yelled, "Hey mom don't you
need these for work?"
Needless to say I turned a shade
of red there is no color
name for.
\\\//
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Subj: Condom
Factory Tour (S507c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/5/2006
A guy is on a tour of a factory
that produces latex products.
At the first stop, he's shown
the machine that manufactures
baby-bottle nipples. The
machine makes a loud hiss-pop
noise. "The hiss is the
rubber being injected into the
mould," explains the guide.
"The popping sound is a needle
poking a hole in the end of
the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part
of the factory where
condoms are manufactured.
The machine makes a noise: 'Hiss.
Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!'
"Wait a minute!" says the man
taking the tour. "I understand
what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but
what's that 'pop!' every so
often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in
the baby-bottle nipple machine,"
says the guide. "It pokes a
hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"True, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
\\\//
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Subj: Being
Propositioned By Your Fianc?e’s Sister (S499b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/8/2006
I was a very happy person. My
girlfriend and I had been dating
for over a year, and we decided
to get married. There was only
one little thing bothering me...
it was her beautiful younger
sister. She was twenty-two,
tight miniskirts, generally bra-
less. She would bend down
when near me, and I always got
more than a pleasant view. She
never did it when she was near
anyone else.
One day "little" sister phoned
and asked me to come over. She
was alone when I arrived, and
she whispered to me that she
wanted to make love to me just
once before I committed my life
to her sister. I was in
total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs
to my bedroom, and if you want
one last wild fling, just come
up and get me." When she
reached the top she pulled off
her panties and threw them down
the stairs.
I stood there for a moment, then
turned and made a beeline
straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed
straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future
family was standing outside,
all clapping! With tears in
his eyes, my father-in-law hugged
me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our
little test... we couldn't
ask for better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family!!!"
And the moral of this story is: . . . . . . . .
(READY???)
.
.
.
.
.
.
Always keep your condoms in
your car!
\\\//
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Subj: Young
Man's First Time (S419b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/01/2005
I recall my first time with a
condom, I was 16 or so. I went
in to buy a package of condoms.
There was a beautiful woman
behind the counter, and she
could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and
asked, if I knew how to wear
one. I honestly answered, "No."
So she unwrapped the package,
took one out and slipped over
her thumb.
She cautioned me to make sure
it was on tight and secure. I
apparently still looked confused.
So she looked all around
the store. It was empty. She
said," "Just a minute." And
walked to the door, and locked
it.
Taking my hand, she led me into
the back room, unbuttoned
her blouse and removed it .
She unhooked her bra and laid it
aside. She asked, "Do these
excite you?" Well, I was so
dumb-struck that all I could
do was nod my head.
She then said, it was time to
slip the condom on. As I was
slipping it on, she dropped
her skirt, removed her panties
and laid down on a desk. "Well,
come on", she said, "We
don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so
wonderful, that unfortunately,
I could no longer hold back
and POW, I was done within a few
minutes.
She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
I said, "I sure did."
And held up my thumb to show her.
\\\//
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Subj: Three
Guys In Line Buy Condoms (S125b, S500)
From: WSelwa on 6/18/99
and
From: auntiegah on 8/16/2006
This man was in a long line at
the grocery store. As he got
to the register he realized
he had forgotten to get condoms.
So he asked the checkout girl
if she could have some condoms
brought up to the register.
She asked, "What size condoms?"
The customer replied that he
didn't know. She asked him to
drop his pants. He did,
she reached over the counter,
grabbed hold of him, then picked
up the store intercom and
said, "One box of large condoms
to register 5."
The next man in line thought
this was interesting and, like
MOST MEN, up for a cheap thrill.
When he got to the register,
he told the checker that he
too had forgotten to get condoms,
and asked if she would have
some brought up to the register.
She asked him what size and
he stated that he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants.
He did, she gave him a quick
feel, picked up the store intercom
and said, "One box of
medium-sized condoms to register
5."
A few customers back was this
teenage boy. He thought what
he had witnessed was way too
cool. He had never had any type
of sexual contact with a live
female, so he thought this was
his chance. When he got
up to the register, he told the
checker he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size, and
he said he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants and
he did. She reached over
the counter, gave him one quick
squeeze, then picked up the
intercom and said, "Clean up at
register 5!"
\\\//
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Subj: Bowl
With A Condom Floating In It (S86, S571)
From: JOELFALLON on 98-09-20
and
From: SCOTCOB on 12/31/2007
Ms. Bee, the church organist,
was in her eighties and had
never been married. She
was much admired for her sweetness
and kindness to all. The
pastor came to call on her one
afternoon early in the spring
and she welcomed him into her
Victorian parlor. She
invited him to have a seat while she
prepared a little tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ,
the minister noticed a cut glass
bowl setting on top of it,
filled with water. In
the water floated, of all things, a
condom.
Imagine his shock and surprise.
Imagine his curiosity;
surely Miss Bea had flipped!
He certainly couldn't mention
the strange sight in her parlor.
When she returned with
tea and cookies they began to
chat. The pastor tried to
stifle his curiosity about the
bowl and its strange floater,
but soon it got the best of
him, and he could resist no
longer. "Miss Bea," he
said, "I wonder if you would tell
me about this." Pointing to
the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't
it wonderful! I was walking
down town last fall and I found
this little package. It
said to put it on your organ
and keep it wet, and it would
prevent disease. You know,
I think it is working, I haven't
had a cold all winter!
\\\//
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Subj: Widow's
First Time (S244, S473c)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #195 on 98-08-23
and
From: darrell94590 on 2/7/2006
Sadie lost her husband almost
four years ago and still has
not gotten out of her depression,
mourning as if it were
only yesterday. Her daughter
constantly is calling her
and urging her to get back into
the world.
Finally, Sadie says she'd go
out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replies,
"Mama! I have someone
for you to meet." Well,
it was an immediate hit. They
took to one another and after
dating for six weeks he asks
her to join him for a weekend
in the Catskills. And we
know what that meant.
One room and the normal follow
up to that. Their first
night there she undresses as
he does. There she stood
nude except for a pair of black
lacy panties. He in his
birthday suit. Looking
at her he asks "Why the panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you
can fondle, my body is yours
to explore, but down there I
am still in mourning." He
knows he's not getting lucky
that night. The following
night the same scenario.
She standing there with the
black panties on and he in his
birthday suit; except that
he has an erection on which
he has a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "What's
with this... a black
condom?"
He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
Condom Commercial (S562)
From: darrellvip on 11/1/2007 . |
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Subj: Nipples
And Condoms (S80)
From: RFSlick on 98-08-03
A guy is going on a tour of a
factory that produces various
latex products. At the
first stop, he is shown the machine
that manufactures baby-bottle
nipples. The machine makes a
loud "hiss-pop" noise.
"The hiss is the rubber being injected
into the mold," explains the
guide. "The popping sound is the
needle poking a hole in the
end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part
of the factory where condoms
are manufactured. The
machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss.
Hiss-pop" noise. "Wait
a minute!" says the man taking the
tour. "I understand what
the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's
that 'pop' every so often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in
the baby-bottle nipple machine,"
says the guide. It pokes
a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
\\\//
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Subj: Truck
Driver Picks Up Two Hitchhickers
From: RFSlick on 98-04-30
A truck driver was driving along
when he notices this female
hitch-hicker so he slams on
the brakes and picks her up.
They go through the pleasantries
of meeting one another and
then the truck driver asks if
she would give up a little
something for the ride.
She says, "Okay, but what are we
going to name the baby?" This
scares the trucker so he
lets her off and goes on his
way.
A few days later he sees another
female hitchhicker and picks
her up also. He gets to
know her and again he asks if she
would give up a little something
for the ride. She says,
"Okay, but what are we going
to name the baby?" He thinks
for a little while and then
says, "Will think of something
when we are done."
They have sex a couple of times
and then sit back to enjoy
a cigarette when the girl asks,
"So what are we going to
name the baby?" He says,
"Oh! Thanks for reminding me!"
He reaches down and removes
a condom, ties a knot in it,
and throws it out of the window.
He looks over at her and
says, " If it gets out of that
we'll name it Houdini!"
\\\//
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Subj: Which
Condom Would You Use? (S54)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got
the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop,
you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins Condom Pack:
Ten million strong
and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough
for a man, but ph balanced
for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more,
it costs less,
it's that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never
rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a Rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad
you use it? Don't you
wish everybody
did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause
hey -- you never know.
Avis Condoms: Trying harder
than ever.
EverReady Condoms: Keeps going
and going ...
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking
Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the
Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have
just one.
Microsoft Condoms: Where do
you want to go today?
Sun MicroCondoms: The Network
is the Condom
Oracle Condoms: Not just databases
anymore.
Netscape Condoms: Introducing
the new SuiteSpot Silicondom
Graphics Inc.: The leader in
3D Condoms
Intel CPUs (Condom Processing
Units): Intel Inside
AT?T Condoms: Reach out and
TOUCH someone.
\\\//
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Subj: New
Condom Brands
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/22/2003
Nike condoms - Just do it.
Toyota condoms - Oh what a feeling.
Pringles condoms - Once you
pop, you can't stop.
KFC condoms - Finger-lickin'
good.
J Ford condoms - The best never
rest.
Bounty condoms - The quicker
picker-upper.
Energizer condoms -It keeps
going and going and going.
M ? Ms condoms -It melts in
your mouth, not in your hands.
Star Trek condoms - To boldly
go where no man has gone before.
Why are condoms like cameras? - they both capture the moment.
\\\//
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| Subj:
Glow In The Dark Condom Commercial
From: www.funmansion.com on 7/1/2008 (S598) |
 |
You can view this cute Four Seasons
Condom commercial at
the above source, or on my web
site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: Slogans
To Promote National Condom Week... (S117)
From: RFSlick on 4/30/99
1. Cover your stump before
you hump
2. Before you attack
her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly.
Protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud
your spout
5. Don't be a loner,
cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong
if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going
to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's
spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between
her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter
if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick
if your wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat,
package your meat
13. While you're undressing
venus, dress up that penis
14. When you take off
her pants and blouse,
suit
up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December,
gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck
her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize
your tool
18. The right selection!
Protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before
checking her oil
20. A crank with armor
will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!
\\\//
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Subj: Young
Man Buys Some Condoms (S13, S328b)
From: SSHutch on Friday, April 04, 1997
and
From: LABLaughs.com on 5/15/2003
A girl asks her boyfriend to
come over Friday night and
have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big
event, the girl announces to
her boyfriend that after
dinner, she would like to go
out and have sex for the
first time. Well, the
boy is ecstatic, but he has never
had sex before, so he takes
a trip to the pharmacist to
get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about
an hour. He tells the
boy everything there is to know
about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist
asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack,
10-pack or family pack.
The boy insists on the family
pack because he thinks he will
be rather busy, it being
his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up
at the girls parents house
and meets his girlfriend at
the door. "Oh I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents,
come on in!" The boy goes
inside and is taken to the dinner
table where the girl's
parents are seated. The
boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head. A minute
passes, and the boy is still
deep in prayer, with his head
down. 5 minutes pass, and
still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 10 minutes with
his head down, the girl-
friend finally leans over and
whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this
religious."
The boy turns, and whispers
back, I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."
\\\//
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Subj: Young
Man Buys Some Condoms - Ver. 2 (S399b)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #239 on 98-04-11
and
From: JokesUncut on 9/10/2004
A man walked into the drugstore
and shyly asked the pretty
girl working there if he could
buy some condoms. Seeing his
discomfort, the girl decided
to have some fun.
She asked what size he needed.
He said he didn't really know.
So the girl said they come in
three sizes, and that there were
three holes in the fence outside
that they used for sizing
tests. He should go outside
and put his tool to the test.
When he went outside, the girl
snuck around the fence, when he
put his tool through the first
hole, she caught him and gave
him a handjob.
When he put his tool in the second hole, she gave him oral sex.
When he put his tool in the third
hole, she had her pants down
and she took him inside herself.
When he was finished, the girl
ran around the front. He walked
up and she asked, "So, what
size do you need?"
He answered, "I've decided not
to buy any condoms; but I do
want 8 feet of that fence!"
\\\//
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Subj: A boy
And His Father See Condoms In A Store (S118, S353b)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #168
and
From: LABLaughs.com on 11/3/2003
A father and his son go into
the grocery store where they happen
upon the condom aisle. The son
asks his father why there are so
many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, "Well, you
see that 3 pack? That's for when
you're in high school.
You have 2 for Friday night and one for
Saturday night."
The son then asks his father, "Well what's the 6 pack for?"
The father replies, "Well that's
for when you're in college. You
have 2 for Friday night, 2 for
Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday
morning."
Then the son asks his father
what the 12 pack is for. The father
replies, "Well that's for when
you're married. You have one for
January, one for February, one
for March......"
\\\//
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Subj: US Sends
Russia Condoms (S27, S463)
From: TNKRTEACH on 97-07-21
and
From: DoctorDebt on 12/1/2005
George Bush received a call from
Russian President Putin.
He says to Bush, "Our largest
condom factory has exploded.
They are my people's favorite
form of birth control. This
is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people
would be happy to do anything
within their power to help you,"
replied President Bush.
"I do need your help," said Putin.
"Could you send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to hold us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin.
"Yes?" said Bush.
"Could the condoms be red in
color and at least 10" long and
2" in diameter?" said Putin.
"No problem," replied the President.
Mr. Putin hung up and started
laughing with his aides about
how those stupid Americans will
fall for anything.
George Bush hung up and called
the CEO of the Trogan Company
"I need a favor. Can you
send 1,000,000 condoms right away
over to Russia?"
"Consider it done," replied the CEO of Trogen.
"Good! Now listen, they have
to be red in color, 10" long and
2" in diameter."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print
'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE
MEDIUM' on each one."
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Condom Jokes
 |
Subj:
United States Government Seal (S492b)
From: darrell94590 on 6/23/2006 |
Top
Subj: Census
Takers Issued Condoms (S245b)
From: jerry on 10/11/2001
News Item: More than 10,000
census takers heading out to
visit South African households
this week will be given
condoms in case they are ''led
into temptation'' during
the week, says the South African
Health Department.
Some census taker's jobs are
more interesting than other
census taker's jobs.
UK Telegraph 10-Aug-01
| Subj:
The Best Commercial Ever (S474b)
From: darrell94590 on 2/10/2006 |
 |
Top
Subj: Woman
Askes About Condoms At Drugstore (S125)
From: WSelwa on 6/18/99
A woman walked into a drugstore
and asked the pharmacist if he
sold extra large condoms.
He replied, "Yes we do. Would you
like to buy some?"
She responded, "No sir, but do
you mind if I wait around here
until someone does?"
 |
Subj:
How To Use A Condom After 50 (S462b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/28/2005 |
| Subj:
Little Johnny And Dad's Condom (S280)
From: http://www.twistedhumor.com on 10/6/2000 |
 |
Little
Johnny
from Yahoo! Images |
Little Johnny asked curiously, "What ya doin', Dad?"
His father quickly replied, "I
thought I saw a rat go
underneath the bed."
Johnny replied, "What ya gonna
do, fuck him?"
Top
Subj: Two
Old Ladies And A Condom (S125, S558b)
From: drgolfmd on 5/11/2004
and
From: gordonschuk on 9/25/2007
Two old ladies (Rachel and Alicia),were
waiting for a bus
and Alicia was smoking a cigarette.
It started to rain,
so the old lady reached into
her purse and pulled out a
condom, cut off the tip and
slipped it over her cigarette
and continued to smoke.
Her friend, Rachel, saw this
and said, "Hey, now that's a
good idea! What is that
you're putting over your cigarette?"
The other old lady, Alicia,
said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
Alicia told her that she could
purchase them at a pharmacy.
When the two old ladies arrived
downtown, Rachel went into
the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist
if he sold condoms.
The pharmacist said yes, but
looked a little surprised that
this little old lady was interested
in condoms. He asked
her, "what size do you want?"
Rachel thought for a moment and
said, "one that will fit
a Camel."
Top
Subj: Buying
A Condom From A Young Woman
The first time I went to a drug
store to buy condoms, I was
waited on by a beautiful young
woman. She asked what size
I wanted and I said I wasn't
sure. So she asked now big I
was and I said, "Compared to
what?" She held up one finger
and asked if I was that big.
I said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up two fingers
and asked if I was that big. I
said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up three
fingers and asked if I was that
big. I said, "I'm about
that big." She put the
three fingers in her mouth and said,
"You're a medium."
Top
Subj: Buying
A Condom From a Young Woman (Vers. 2)
From: ipkis on 97-09-08
A man walked into a drugstore
and asked for some condoms.
The pretty young woman behind
the counter asked, "What size?"
"I didn't know they came in different sizes," the guy answered.
She said, "Okay, come with me."
She led him into a back room,
lifted her skirt and directed
him to stick it in, which he did.
She said, "You're a size seven."
The guy made his purchase, went
home and told his roommate
about the experience.
The roommate rushed to the store, where
he got the same treatment.
"You're a size eight," the salesgirl
said. "How many condoms
do you want?"
He replied, "None. I just
came in for a fitting."
The condom - made originally
of linen - was invented in the
early 1500s.
The first-known contraceptive
was crocodile dung,
used by Egyptians
in 2000 B.C.
From 'Strange Sex Laws' in LAWS
In Maryland, it is illegal to
sell condoms from vending
machines with one exception:
prophylactics may be
dispensed from a vending machine
in places where alcoholic
beverages are sold for consump-
tion on the premises."
(Is this a great country or
what?)
In Nevada sex without a condom
is considered illegal.
From: DR SWITZER on 98-04-04
A duck walks into a drug store.
He goes to the counter and
asks for a box of condoms.
The pharmacist says, "OK, that
will be $5.95. Would you
like me to just
put them on your bill?"
The duck says "Hey listen pal,
I'm not that kind of duck!"
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #26
A duck walks (OK, waddles) into
a drug store and buys a
package of condoms.
The Pharmacist says, "Cash or
would you like them on your
bill?"
The duck says, "My bill? I'm
going to put them on my dick!"
The Pharmacist then says, "That
will be $9.99 plus tax".
To which the duck responds,
"Tacks? I though they stayed
on by themselves!"
From: humorlist-digest V1 #185 on 97-08-28
A guy walks into a drugstore
operated by a prudish woman.
He asks, "Can I have a dozen
condoms, miss?"
"Don't miss me, mister."
"Well then, you better make
it 13."
From: auntieg on 98-05-09
The Ramses brand condom is named
after the great
pharaoh Ramses II who fathered
over 160 children.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #118 on 98-05-13
(S273c)
and From: CatScratch@MightyCool.com
on 4/20/2002
A woman participating in a survey
was asked how she felt
about condoms. She said,
"Depends on what's in it for me."
From: RFSlick on 8/25/2001 (S239)
There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic
reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?
-- Dustin Hoffman
From: edapsmas on 4/24/2007 (S536b)
A women asks man who is traveling
with six children, "Are
all these kids yours??"
The man replies, " No, I work in
a condom factory and these are
customer complaints".
From: FrankRoesch on 2/10/2002 (S263)
Condoms should be used on every
conceivable occasion.
Q: Did you hear about the two
condoms outside a gay bar
A: One said to the other "Want
to go inside and get shit-faced"
Q: Why is a diploma like a condom?
A: It's rolled up when you get
it, it represents a lot of effort,
it's worthless
the next day.
Q: How do you recycle a condom?
A: Shake the fuck out of it.
Q: What do women and condoms
have in common?
A: 10% of the time, they are
on your pecker,
and the other 90% they
are in your wallet.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #178
Q: What do Kodak and condoms
have in common?
A: They both capture the moment.
From: BREWONETO on 98-02-16
Q: What do women ? condoms have
in common?
A: They're either all over your
dick, or in our wallet.
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
Q: What do you do with 365 used
rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire,
and call it a Goodyear.
From: LABLaughs.com 12/24/2002 (S308b)
Q: Have you heard about the
new super-sensitive condoms?
A: They hang around after the
man leaves and
talks to the woman.
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2003 (S333b)
Q: What do they call condoms
in Germany?
A: Weinerhosen
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