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Subj:     Pregnant-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 23 jokes and articles, 18 1114,8,cL2f,vXT4a5a,6)

Pregnant Lady from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Superman's Baby - Comic Book (DU)
.........................Coca Cola Life - Ser Padres - HD Video (S890)
.........................Grandma's Pills (S937)
.........................Pam's Story (S783)
.........................Lena Is Pregnant With Ole's Child (S820)
.........................Bill Cosby - Where Babies Come From - Video (S756)
.........................Pregnancy Class For Couples (S734)
.........................Truth is Stranger Than Fiction (S828)
.........................A Very Pregnant Secretary (S566)
.........................Don't Go To The Doctor In June/July - Video (S704b)
.........................Changes Now That The Baby Has Arrived (S250, DU)
.........................Three Pregnant Ladies Knitting Baby Cloths (DU)
.........................Rhymes With Orange - Cartoon (S1062)
.........................Italian Girl Pregnant (S554)
.........................Baby Sues Over Pregnancy (S258b)
.........................Short Pregnant Jokes
..............................Married and Pregnant (S683)
..............................Octomom 8 Days Before the Births (S632b)

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Subj:     Superman's Baby - Comic Book (DU)
          From: ComicVine in 2016
 Source: www.static.comicvine.com/uploads/
.........original/0/40/4554972-convsupe.jpg
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Subj:     Coca Cola Life - Ser Padres HD
          By santobuenosaires (S890d-iFrame)
          From: Mary Jones in 2014
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/4sNlcwAh83Y
 Source2: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola_Life

 Coca-Cola Life is a product of The Coca-Cola Company
 launched in Argentina and Chile in 2013. 
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Coca Cola Life - Ser Padres, shows the joys
and difficulties of having children and
becoming pregnant.

Notice that the mid-calorie version of Coca-Cola
Life in Argentina comes in a green bottle and can.
Photo from FoodBev.com

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 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful ad.
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Top
Subj:     Grandma's Pills (S937)
          From: tom in 2014

 After working most of her life, Grandma finally retired.

 At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a
 list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

 As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes
 grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth
 control pills.  "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are
 BIRTH CONTROL pills?"

 "Yes,they help me sleep at night."

 "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in
 these pills that could possibly help you sleep!"

 She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes,
 dear, I know that, but every morning, I grind one up and
 mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old
 granddaughter drinks...and believe me, it helps me sleep
 at night."

Top
Subj:     Pam's Story
          From: tom in 2012
..........(S783d-On Site Web Page)
 Source1: www.icontact-archive.com/BLFgm
..........hzNAinjEDvhgKWsUpHBx7CzSfwe?w=1
 Source2: www.snopes.com/glurge/timtebow.asp

 Click 'HERE' to read about Pam Tebow's pregnancy problems
 with her fifth child, Tim.

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Subj:     Lena Is Pregnant With Ole's Child (S820)
          From: virv in 2012

 Late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, 'I tink it's time!'
 So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor and took her to the
 hospital to have their first baby.

 She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Ole and
 said, 'A son! Ain't dat Great!'  Well, Ole got excited by
 dis, but yust den the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on!
 We ain't finished yet!'  The doctor den held up a little
 girl..  He said, 'Hey, Ole! You got you a daughter!'  She's
 a pretty little ting, too.'

 Ole got kind of puzzled by this, an then the doctor said,
 'Holey Moley, Ole we still ain't done yet!'  The doctor
 then delivered another boy and said, Ole, you yust had
 yourself another boy!'

 Ole was flabbergasted by this news!

 A couple days later, Ole brought Lena and their three
 children home in the self-propelled combine.  He was real
 serious and he asked Lena, 'How come we got tree on the
 first try?'

 Lena said, 'You remember dat night we ran out of Vaseline
 and you vent out in the garage and got dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?'

 Ole said, 'Yeah, I do.  Uffda!  It's a dam good ting I
 didn't get the WD-40!!.

Top
Subj:     Bill Cosby - Where Babies Come From
          From: tom in 2011 (S756d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/Dggt7PuoG00

 On the Bill Cosby Show during Season 6, Raven Symone explains
 how mothers deliver a baby from a little girl's point of view.
 Click 'HERE' to see and hear this wonderful explanation.

Top
Subj:     Pregnancy Class For Couples (S734)
          From: darrellvip in 2011

 The  room was full of pregnant women with their partners.
 The class was in full swing.  The instructor was teaching
 the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men
 how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at
 this stage of the pregnancy.

 She said  "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
 Walking is especially beneficial.  It strengthens the pelvic
 muscles and will make delivery that much easier.  Just take
 several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

 She looked at the men in  the room, "and Gentlemen, remember --
 You're in this together  --  It wouldn't hurt you to go walking
 with her."

 The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this
 information.  Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised
 his hand.

 "Yes,"  answered  the Instructor.

 "I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries
 a golf bag while we walk??"

 This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.

Top
Subj:     Truth is Stranger Than Fiction
          From: tom in 2012
..........(S828d-On Site Web Page)
 Source: (Removed from trcbnews.com)

 In Stuttgart, Germany, a court judge must decide on a case
 of honorable intentions in a situation where a man hired
 his neighbor to get his wife pregnant.  Click 'HERE' to
 read this cute, unsubstantiated story.

Top
Subj:     A Very Pregnant Secretary (S566)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2007

 Years ago, when I was in business, I had a secretary named
 Donna, who was very, very pregnant.  Although she was going
 to have a single baby girl, it looked as if she were going
 to have triplets.

 A little girl, about four years old standing on tiptoe on
 the other side of the counter, was just staring at Donna in
 wonderment.  Finally the little girl dramatically pointed
 at Donna's abdomen and exclaimed loudly, "What's that?"

 Donna, somewhat embarrassed, explained politely to the
 little girl, "I'm pregnant.  That means that I am going to
 have a baby, a girl, and it will grow up to be just like
 you."

 The little girl asked, "Do you love the baby?"

 Donna replied. "Of course I love the baby."

 The little girl then exclaimed, "If you love the baby, why
 did you eat it?"

Top
Subj:     Don't Go To The Doctor In June/July
          From: darrellvip in 2010
..........(S704b,d-iFrame)
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/M7BCqtdxsXg

 This ad, which ran in June and July of 2010, is very cute.
 Click 'HERE' to see this funny, EuroSport video from France.

Top
Subj:     Changes Now That The Baby Has Arrived (S250, DU)
          From: WSelwa in 2011

 Hubby drops to No.2 on the list of people drooling at the
 sight of your breasts.

 Finally, someone you can beat at "Got Your Nose," at least
 for a year or so.

 You develop a liking for minivans, sensible shoes, and a
 deep-seated contempt for Michael Jackson.

 You're not so tolerant of strangers asking to touch your
 round little belly anymore now that you're just FAT.

 Goodbye, Happy Hour ... Hello, Happy Meal!

 Can't leave the AK-47s under the couch anymore.

 No longer get arrested for whipping out your breast on the
 subway.

 The realization that caca comes in a rainbow of lovely colors.

 Well, there goes the pet dingo.

 Cases of Bud Light quickly replaced by cases of Butt Wipes.

 Junior looks adorable in his little "sandbox," but the cat
 is seriously torqued about it.

 For efficiency, your paycheck now direct-deposited to Disney.

 The closest you come to orgasm is when you think of sleep.
 

Top
Subj:     Three Pregnant Ladies Knitting Baby Cloths (DU)

 Three pregnant ladies are knitting cloths for their unborn
 babies.  The first woman looks at her watch, "oh" she says,
 stops knitting and reaches into her purse and pulls out a
 little black box, and out from the little black box pulls
 a pill, and then swallows the pill.  She turns and smiles
 to the other ladies and says "Iron, good for mother
 (pointing at her chest) good for baby" (then rubs her
 stomach).  The other ladies smile and all continue knitting.

 15 minutes later, the second woman looks at her watch, "oh"
 she says, stops knitting and reaches into her purse and
 pulls out a little black box, and out from the little black
 box pulls a pill, and then swallows the pill.  She turns
 and smiles to the other ladies and says "Calcium, good for
 mother (pointing at her chest) good for baby" (then rubs
 her stomach).  The other ladies smile and all continue
 knitting.

 15 minutes later, the third woman looks at her watch, "oh"
 she says, stops knitting and reaches into her purse and
 pulls out a little black box, and out from the little
 black box pulls a pill, and then swallows the pill.  She
 then continues to knit. The other two are curious and
 ask her what the pill was.  "Thalidomide, I can't knit
 sleeves.

Top
Subj:     Rhymes With Orange (S1062)
          Written by Hilary B.Price in 2017
 Source: www.comicskingdom.com/rhymes-with-orange/2017-05-09
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Top
Subj:     Italian Girl Pregnant (S554)
          From: allenbergman in 2007

 An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed
 her period for 2 months.  Very worried, the mother goes to
 the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.  The test result
 shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying,
 the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you?  I
 want to know!"  The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

 Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
 A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably
 dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari
 and enters the house.  He sits in the living room with the
 father, mother,and the girl and tells them: "Good morning,
 your daughter has informed me of the problem.  I can't marry
 her because of my personal family situation but I'll take
 charge.  I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter
 for the rest of her life.  Additionally, if a girl is born,
 I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
 beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.  If a boy
 is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
 $4,000,000 bank account.   If twins, they will receive a
 factory and $2,000,000 each.  However, if there is a
 miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

 At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places
 a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,   "You
 try again."

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Subj:     Baby Sues Over Pregnancy (S258b)
          From: jerry in 2002

 A state appeals court in Miami, Florida, ruled that children
 have the right to sue their mothers for injuries caused by
 bad driving during pregnancy.  The lawsuit was initiated by
 a MOTHER on behalf of her 7-year-old daughter who sustained
 severe permanent injuries in a traffic accident the day
 before she was born and whose mother was deemed to be
 partially responsible for the accident.

 Why does the mother want her daughter to sue her?

 Because it's the insurance company who gets to pay the award.

 Meanwhile, although winning the suit against her mother, as
 her mother wishes, bears evidence that the mother was
 responsible for the injuries, no criminal charges can be
 brought against the mother for endangering her child because
 Florida has a law against such criminal actions.

 The insurance company will appeal the decision to the Florida
 Supreme Court hoping that the concept will be rejected as it
 was by the Illinois Supreme Court which contended that if
 such lawsuits were permitted, then the moment of conception
 would create a relationship between mother and fetus as that
 of legal adversaries.

 Miami Herald 20-Dec-01


Subj:     Short Pregnant Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     Married and Pregnant (S683)
          From: LABLaughsCLean in 2010
 I was in my ninth month of pregnancy and feeling
 very uncomfortable. On top of everything, my pleas
 for sympathy seemed to go unnoticed by my husband.

 One day, I told him, "I hope in your next life,
 you get to be pregnant!"

 He replied, "I hope in your next life, you get to
 be married to someone who's pregnant!"
 

Top
Subj:     Octomom 8 Days Before the Births
          From: CKButch4Femme
..........in 2009 (S632b)
 Source: www.tmz.com/2009/02/12/octomom-it-was-a-very-goodyear/
 Since the birth of the octuplets, many of us have been
 wondering what a human being pregnant with eight babies
 would look like.  Well, the photos above of Nadya Suleman
 and her bulging belly can now satisfy any and all morbid
 craving you may have had to visually witness such an jaw
 dropping feat.  The photos, an exclusive posted on celebrity
 site TMZ, were taken eight days before Suleman gave birth
 to her octuplets.   Click 'HERE' to see the large photo.
 
 

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From: ginafm in 2009 (S659b)
 It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

 What first went on sale to the public in pharmacies on May 9, 1960?
 Birth control pills

 A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
 contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
 doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

From: BawdyNet Collage in 1998
 New studies show that women who drink tea are twice as likely to get
 pregnant.  Related studies have revealed that women who drink Long
 Island Ice Tea are twice as likely to wake up in the back seat of a
 Camaro with sticky hair.

 Q: Did you hear about the woman with a piece of glass for a belly button?
 A: She was said to have a womb with a view !!!

 Q: Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
 A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper!!
 

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..............................From Smiley_Central.
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