Subj: Sex-Supp Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 14 jokes & articles)
Shadow sex from
Free Animated Pics
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Subj: Sex-Supp Jokes (Gz) (Includes 14 jokes & articles) |
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Shadow sex from Free Animated Pics |
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| Subj:
Sex Track Race (S564c)
From: edapsmas on 11/14/2007 |
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Subj: A Dirty
Riddle (S596)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/15/2008
To make it stand,
You wet it !
To make it wet,
You suck it !
To make it stiff,
You lick it !
To get it in,
You push it!
Damn !
Threading a needle when you're
older is a BITCH!
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Subj: Sex
With A Nymphomaniac (S594)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/11/2008
Jon was looking for a little
"action." He picked up a sweet
young thing at the bar and took
her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know that she was
darn near a nymphomaniac.
After six times having sex,
she was screaming for more.
After the eighth time, Jon told
her that he needed to slip
out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped into
the men's room. He stood
in front of the urinal, unzipped
his pants, and felt a
moment of panic when he couldn't
find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing
around, he finally said,
"Look, it's okay. She's not
here!"
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Subj: Sex
Bar Tab (S553b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/21/2007
This is fun to do. The
only catch is that you can't ask
the person who posted it anything
about it! :) Just read
the "offense" and if you've
done it, you owe that fine.
Keep going until you've read
each "offense" and added up
your total fine. Title
your bulletin "My Bar Tab is$..."
You don't have to confess your
answers, just the amount
of your fine.
Smoked pot -- $20
Did acid -- $10
Ever had sex at church -- $10
Woke up in the morning and did
not know the person
who was next to you-- $50
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $30
Had sex for money -- $200
Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican -- $25
Vandalized something -- $27
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $40
Beat up someone -- $100
Been jumped -- $20
Crossed dressed -- $11
Given money to stripper -- $30
Been in love with a stripper -- $25
Kissed some one who's name you
didn't
know --$16
Hit on some one of the same sex
while
at work-- $22
Ever drive drunk -- $21
Ever got drunk at work, or went
to work
while still drunk -- $59
Used toys while having sex -- $40
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $30
Had sex in a pool -- $10
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $5
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $10
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other
with their
relative or close friend --$20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25
Tally it up and Title it..."My Bar Tab Is
--------------------------
Lorraine's Bar Tab is $333
Al's Bar Tab is $489
Now I know I've lived a sheltered
life, so you can surely
get a score above $600.
What are your scores Sam, Roger,
Darrell, Mary, and Gina?
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Subj: George
Burns And Oprah Have Sex (S504c)
From: darrell94590 on 9/20/2006
When George Burns was 97 years
old he was interviewed by
Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah asked, George, how do you
carry so much energy with
you? You are always working
and at your age I think that
is remarkable. George
said, I just take good care of my-
self and enjoy what I do when
I do it.
Oprah said, I understand you
still do the sex thing too,
even at your age. George
said, of course I still do the
sex thing and I am quite good
at it. Oprah said, I have
never been with an older man,
would you do it with me?
So they had sex and when they
finished, Oprah said, I just
don't believe I have ever been
so satisfied, you are truly
a remarkable man.
George told her that the second
time is even better than
the first. Oprah said,
You mean you can really do it again,
even at your age?
George said, Just let me sleep
for 1/2 hour. You hold my
testicles in your left hand
and my penis in your right hand
and wake me up in thirty minutes.
When she woke him up, they again
had great sex and Oprah
was beside herself with joy.
She said, Oh George, I am
astounded that you could do
a repeat performance and have
it be better than the first
time. At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!
George, said that the third time
would be even better. You
just hold my testicles in your
left hand and my penis in your
right hand and call me in thirty
minutes. Oprah asked, does
my holding and touching you
kind of recharge your batteries?
George said, hell no, but the
last time I had sex with a black
woman she stole my wallet!
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Subj: Short
Sex Jokes
| Subj:
Are You Lonely (S555c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 9/7/2007 |
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Subj:
Sexy Calendar (S554b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/29/2007 |
| Subj:
New Sex Study (S530c in Marriage2)
From: darrell94590 on 3/14/2007 |
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Subj:
Sex Flow Chart (S526b)
From: edbabcock on 2/16/2007 |
| Subj:
There's More To Life Than Sex (S523b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/24/07 |
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Subj:
The Sex Alphabet (S502b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/31/2006 |
| Subj:
Fantastic Adult Toy (S502b)
From: darrell94590 on 9/6/2006 |
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Subj:
Lost Piece (S493)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/9/2007 |
| Subj:
Nursing Home Orgy (S584c in Eld3-Supp)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/13/2008 |
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A group of nine love-hungry codgers
were kicked out of an old
folks home in London for having
an orgy. You can read the
newspaper article at the above
source, or on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.
From: http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html
on 10/17/2007
An intellectual is a person
who has discovered something
more interesting than sex.
-- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
From: darrellvip on 2/20/2008 (S579b)
When I was born , God gave me
2 choices ..
1: I could
have a great memory ...
2: or....I could
be great in bed ...
SHIT !
Now I forgot what I was going
to tell you ..
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Smiley sex
From: RFSlick on 6/11/2005 |