..........(No ads)
Subj:     Sperm Joke
                 (Includes 41 jokes, 05 1116n,4,cf,vXT5a,1)

..........L5 Update

Popeye Cartoon
Animated Gifs Maniac
Includes the following:  Sperm Bank Cartoon (DU)
.........................Harold And Sperm Specimen (S158, S709)
.........................Donating At The Sperm Bank (S54)
.........................The Vanilla Pudding Robbery (S616c)
.........................News -Hormones in Semen (S282, DU)
.........................Couple Want Artificial Insemination (S313, DU)
.........................Mother Calls Sex 'Making Cakes (S101, DU)
.........................Fish Fry (DU)
.........................Two Sperm Talking
.........................Wasted Sex
.........................Sperm Bank Complaint - cartoon (S401b)
.........................Sperm Donor (S35)
.........................Sperm Bank Robber (S44)
                         Short Sperm Jokes
..............................Embarrassing - Web Page w/GIF (S434)
..............................New York State County Worker Fired (S261b)
..............................New Hand Cream - Web Page w/Cartoon (S418)
..............................Taking Your Dress To the Cleaners (S260, S697)
..............................Three Guys Discuss Early Memories (S232)
..............................Tonto And Lone Ranger Are Lost (S17)
..............................Mayonnaise And The Adult Movies (S36)

Also see BAR2 file    - 'Two Triple Martinis At A Bar'
         BROTHERS file- 'Bunk Bed Brothers'
         COLLEGE1 file- 'Masterbation In Showers At Durham'
......................- 'Professor Discusses Sperm'
......................- 'Cheek Cells Under A Microscope'
         CONDOM file  - 'Truck Driver Picks Up Two Hitchhickers'
         DATING1 file - 'Guy Meets Girl At Mailbox'
......................- 'A Guy And Girl On Their First Date'
         DATING3 file - 'Three Roommates Discuss Dates'
         HOOKER file  - 'Three Hookers Talk'
         HOSPITAL1    - 'Wife Dying In Hospital'
         INDIAN file  - 'Indian Gives Lady A Horseback Ride'
         IRISH file   - 'Irish Gang Robs A Bank'
         PLANE1 file  - 'Man On Plane Sneezes'
         POPE file    - 'The Pope Buys A Camera'
Subj:     Sperm Bank Cartoon (DU)
          From: jokideo.com in 2017
 Source: www.s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/be/
Subj:     Harold And Sperm Specimen (S158, S709)
          From: KMacinty in 2000

 Harold was 82 and having some prostate problems.  After
 examining him the doctor gave him a specimen jar, saying
 "Take this home with you and try to produce a semen specimen.
 Stop by tomorrow and drop it off so I can run a few tests."
 Harold took the jar and headed home.

 The next day Harold came in and asked to speak to the doctor.
 When he was taken into the office, the doctor asked how he
 made out. "Not good,  Doc," said Harold. "I went home and
 tried to do what you said.

 Tried with my right hand 'til it was cramped from the arthritis
 -- no luck.  I tried with my left hand until I had blisters --
 no luck.  "I asked my  wife to help me out, so she tried with
 her left hand and with her right  hand -- no luck.

 "She even tried with her mouth.  She tried with her teeth in
 and she tried with her teeth out  -- no luck.

 Then we called Edna next door to see if she could help."

 "Good grief, Man!" exclaimed the doctor, "you asked your
 neighbor to help you?"

 "Yep," said Harold, "couldn't none of us get the lid off that

Subj:     Donating At The Sperm Bank (S54, S1065)
          From: Ossama's Laugh in 1998

 A girl got in line to donate blood at the local blood bank.
 She got to talking to the man in line in front of her and
 asked how often he donated blood.

 He corrected her, stating that he was there to donate
 sperm. Really, she said, how much do they pay for sperm

 $50.00 the man stated. The girl replied that she only made
 $10.00 each time she donated blood.

 After the donations, each went their own way.

 The following week, the same girl and guy got in line again.
 The man turned to the girl and asked "Are you here to donate
 blood again?"

 Girl, with cheeks puffed out, mumbled Nooumm, Dunnnafdsf

Subj:     The Vanilla Pudding Robbery (S616c)
          From: hellgunner50 in 2008

 This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an
 article which appeared in The Dublin Times about a bank
 robbery on March 2.

 Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts
 at disabling the security system got underway immediately.
 The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes
 filled with cash, valuables, were surprised to see hundreds
 of smaller safes throughout the bank.

 The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and
 inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

 As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber
 said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat.'

 The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained
 nothing but vanilla pudding.  The process continued until
 all safes were opened.

 They did not find one euro, a diamond, or an ounce of gold.
 Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

 Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving
 with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
 The newspaper headline read:


 This is an Urban Legend as confirmed by Snopes.com at

Subj:     News - Hormones in Semen (S282, DU)
          From: Yahoo! News in 2002

 Hormones in Semen Shown to Make Women Feel Good

 LONDON (Reuters) - Hormones in semen may help to ease
 female depression because women whose partners don't
 use condoms are less likely to feel down.

 Scientists at the State University of New York suspect
 the mood-altering hormones are absorbed through the
 vagina and make women feel good but they stressed that
 their results are not an excuse for unprotected sex.

 "I want to make it clear that we are not advocating that
 people abstain from using condoms," Gordon Gallup, who
 led the study, told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday.

 "Clearly an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted
 disease would more than offset any advantageous psychological
 effects of semen," he added.

 The researchers assessed the moods of 300 female students
 using a standard questionnaire.  A score of more than 17
 was considered moderately depressed.

 Women whose partners never used condoms scored about eight
 on the test while those who never had sex without condoms
 scored 11.3.  Women who weren't having sex at all scored
 about 13.5.

 Depression in the students who sometimes or never used
 condoms was more severe the longer they went without sex.

 The scientists said they looked at other factors, such as
 the use of oral contraceptives, frequency of sex and
 personality type, but found that none could account for
 the findings.

 The magazine said the results are not a complete surprise
 because scientists know that semen contains several mood-
 altering hormones including testosterone.

 "Some of these have been detected in a woman's blood within
 hours of exposure to semen," the magazine said.

 The scientists suspect semen will have the same effect on
 women regardless of how they are exposed to it.

Subj:     Couple Want Artificial Insemination (S313, DU)
          From: LABLaughs.com in 2003

 After much soul searching and having determined the husband
 was infertile, the childless couple decided to try
 artificial insemination. When the woman showed up at the
 clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on
 the table and place her feet in the stirrups.

 She was feeling rather awkward about the entire procedure
 when the doctor came in.  Her anxiety was not diminished by
 the sight of him pulling down his pants! "Wait a minute!
 What the hell is going on here?" yelped the woman, pulling
 herself into a sitting position.

 "Don't you want to get pregnant?" asked the doctor. "Well,
 yes, I do," answered the woman.

 "Then lie back and spread 'em," replied the doctor. "We're
 all out of the bottled stuff.  You'll just have to settle
 for what's on tap."

Subj:     Mother Calls Sex 'Making Cakes (S101, DU)
          From: scott_pryor in 1999

 A little girl and her mother walking through the park one
 day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

 The little girl says, "Mummy what are they doing?"

 The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm they are
 making cakes."

 The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees
 two monkeys having sex.  Again she asks her mother what
 they are doing and her mother replies with the same
 response, making cakes.

 The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and
 daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night."

 The mother says, "How do you know?"

 She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Subj:     Fish Fry (DU)
          From: ipkis in 1997

 A mother and her son were at the zoo and at the monkey
 exibit the two monkeys were having sex.  The little boy
 asked his mom, "Mommy what are they doing?".

 The mother replied, "Fishfry dear".

 They continued on to the next exibit and saw that the two
 zebras were also having sex.  The little boy asked, "What
 are they doing mommy?"

 The mother replied once again, "Fishfry dear".

 Later that night the mother and father were in the bedroom
 while the little boy sat outside the door.  When the mother
 opened the door the little boy asked, "Mommy, were you and
 daddy doin fishfry?"

 The mother said, "Why do you ask that?".

 The boy answered, "Because you have tartar sauce on your

Subj:     Two Sperm Talking

 Two sperms are swimming. The young one says:
 "Hey, how long is it to get to the ovaries?"
 To which the other replies:
 "Ovaries? We haven't passed the tonsils yet!"

Subj:     Wasted Sex
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #177

 Wasted Resources/Missed Opportunities
    by A. Kohn and F. Fish
    Orgenics, Yavne, Israel

 In the July 6, 1992, issue of Time International we are
 informed that the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates
 that 100 million acts of human sexual intercourse occur
 each day but that only 910,000 of them result in conception.
 The rest are simply wasted.  Thus more than 99 million acts
 of intercourse are squandered and have no practical results
 except momentary pleasure for the participants.

 If one takes into account the volume of the lost sperm,
 assuming at least 5 mL per act of intercourse, we may
 calculate that about 5 x 10E-3 x 99 x 10E6 or 500 cubic
 meters of fertil fluid are wasted per day. This brings
 the number to 15,000 cubic meters per month!

 Assuming that the need for irrigation of an acre of
 agricultural land in arid areas is about 40 cubic meters
 per acre per month, we find that the available volume of
 sperm would be sufficient to irrigate, as wall as fertilize,
 about 350 acres of land.

 In addition, the squandered acts of intercourse require
 energy that may be calculated to be equivalent to about
 300 kcal per act of intercourse.  Thus the redundant energy,
 if properly harnessed, would be sufficient to operate a
 power station and to supply 1500 mW/day, enough for a city
 the size of New York.

 These energy calculations can be made more accessible to
 the layperson.  Let us say that the starter motor in your
 car has a power requirement of 500W.  Thus the energy
 wasted on nonproductive acts of intercourse would be
 sufficient to start three million cars.  If you cannot
 start your car on a cold morning in winter, think of your
 neighbors having wasted all that energy the night before,
 enjoying themselves with their partners.
 This from the Journal of Irreproducible Results, which,
 for those who've never heard of it, is a hilarious send-up
 of scientific inquiry and scientific journals.

 US subscriptions are $21. Contact Blackwell Scientific
 Publications at 1-800-759-6102. Contributions of articles
 are also welcome: contact J.I.R. at POB 380853, Cambridge,
 MA 02238

Subj:     Sperm Bank Complaint (S401b)
          From: JokesUncut in 2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
Subj:     Sperm Donor (S35)
          From: Daemonic Funnies Page

 Unless his father is rich, a graduate student in computer
 science will most likely end up supporting himself by
 working on university research projects or, if he doesn't
 speak English, by teaching undergraduates.  These students
 make less than a freelance can recycler.  A few students
 work part-time at a useful craft or trade that supports
 them in comfort.  I decided that I would practice such a
 trade: Professional sperm donation, the jack of all trades.

 During my first visit to the sperm bank, I was taken to the
 office of the doctor in charge.  His walls were covered by
 medical degrees and citations for his achievements in sperm
 preservation.  One of the citations said "Honorable
 Discharge", which I thought was a bit grandiose.

 "It is of the utmost importance that semen samples remain
 sterile," the doctor explained.

 "Sterile semen?"  I oxymoroned.

 "Thus, samples must be produced by unassisted direct manual
 stimulation of the genital protuberance."


 "Choke the purple-helmeted love nazi."


 "Furthermore, before the production of each sample, there
 must be three days of abstinence."

 "Three days?  4320 minutes!  Is that really a good idea?"
 I had visions of being rushed to the emergency room to have
 my scrotum lanced and drained as it expanded like a Jiffy
 Pop bag.  "I'm no doctor, but I think an hour of abstinence
 is enough.  I mean, we're not aging a fine wine, are we?..."

 I was scheduled for a donor room, where I would have to
 deliver samples, piping hot, in 30 minutes or less.  I
 didn't know if I could become aroused under such conditions.
 I was of an impressionable age when I first saw Racquel
 Welch in "Fantastic Voyage", and afterward I could only be
 aroused by women who wore rubber diving suits and were
 covered by foot-long antibodies.  (These days, having your
 partner in a rubber suit covered with large antibodies is
 not a bad idea.)  I've since grown out of this habit.

 Although now I can only become aroused by a woman if she
 turns the letters on my "Wheel of Fortune" board game.  I
 decided to get some men's magazines for immoral support.

 As a teenager I found Penthouse to be highly stimulating.
 (As a teenager I found everything to be highly stimulating.
 I had to take up tennis just to explain my tennis elbow.)
 However, Penthouse photographs are often rendered in a
 diffused soft focus, which is why you go blind.  Eyestrain
 is the reason you often see men crying when they read the

 Once, when I was fourteen, my father wondered if he should
 get a subscription to Penthouse.  "Great idea!" I panted.
 "It offers an insightful editorial posture and interviews
 with personalities of topical interest."

 He shrugged indifferently.

 "You have to get it!  You absolutely have to!  It offers
 guides to fashion and accessories, goddammit!"  I shrieked
 before passing out.  Now I've started to actually read
 those articles.  I used to put magazines under my
 mattresss so they wouldn't be found; now they're there for
 lower back support.

 I thought that, if I'm going to be a professional in a
 medical facility, I should forget the over-the-counter
 products like Penthouse and look for more potent
 prescription remedies in the shops of the red light

 These magazines did not have interviews with personalities
 of topical interest.  Their titles generally were the
 names of female body parts.  One was called "Female Body
 Parts".  The magazines might serve a medical professional
 as references of female anatomy and its many diseases, but
 they were too much for me.  I settled for this month's
 issue of "NBC Anchorwomen in Chains".

 As it turned out, I was able to wield Excalibur without
 anxiety in the clinic's donor room, and I looked forward
 to returning there on my twice-weekly visits.  I didn't
 appreciate it at first, but I eventually realized what a
 terrific room it was.  It had a wicked, shameless chair,
 a voluptuous, come-hither lamp and a coy, pouting paper
 towel dispenser.  However, the room was small, or perhaps
 it only seemed so because when there I was usually homo
 erectus, so I was constantly upsetting lamps and clearing
 shelves.  Okay, maybe not.

 I produced so many test specimens that the doctor could
 have built an infant from scratch and avoided conception
 altogether.  But after several weeks, the testing was over
 and I was sent back to the doctor's office.

 He said that I had been accepted into the program: my sperm
 count was five times higher than average.

 There it was.  In seconds, I had become an awesome engine
 of fertility, a sexual force to be feared.  Condoms and
 diaphragms could be shredded by my Zulu sperm cells as
 their superior numbers overwhelmed the British outpost of
 the ovum.  My minions could overcome any female
 contraceptive resistance and commit countless acts of
 microscopic date rape.

 My ego was further engorged by the fact I'd finally met
 someone who wanted me just for my body.  I was a sex object,
 meat on the hoof.  The doctor obliged by talking about me
 in the cold quantities of sperm counts and motilities,
 reciting my "tale of the tape" as us pro athletes call it.
 He also referred to donor candidates by number instead of
 name to preserve anonymity.  To the doctor I was The Man
 With No Name, a hired gun.

 "A hun'rd and ten million!  That's pretty good shootin',
 stranger. What'd you say your name was again?"

 "I didn't say...."

 From now on, I would be paid.  My one-armed bandit had
 consistently hit the jackpot, and now I was going to cash
 in.  Some guys think their penis has a mind of its own.
 Mine had a career of its own.

 It was during my next visit, as I approached the main desk,
 that I first saw her:  Candy the candystriper.

 I had never been particular about my women.  Two X
 chromosomes sufficed.  But Candy was different.  Perhaps it
 was the three days of fluid backing up into my brain that
 made her look like an angel floating toward me.  Perhaps it
 was her helium breast implants.  All I knew was that I
 wanted to suckle that bosom till I talked like Donald Duck.

 She noticed my groin, which bulged handsomely due to the
 bag of ice I put in my pants to keep down the swelling.

 She gave me a specimen cup and I went into the donor room,
 where I was great.  A minute later I returned.

 My headache was gone.  I sauntered over to Candy's desk and
 turned on the charm, which I can do pretty much at will.

 "Sorry, but my cup runneth over with love."

 She smiled the dazzling smile that is the gift of a woman
 with braces.  She said, "You might want to zip up your fly."

 "Why, you eagle-eyed minx," I teased.  "You've been watching
 my fly, haven't you, like a photographer waiting for a
 glimpse of the Loch Ness monster."

 She giggled.  "So, what do you do?"

 "Here?  Um, I do what all the other guys do.  But better."

 "I mean, what do you do for a living?"

 I hung my head.  "I'm a computer science graduate student."

 "Really?  Can you say something in computerese?"

 "Awk grep sed lex yacc?"

 She squealed with delight, and her sudden increase in body
 heat caused her implants to expand.  I had it made.

 On our first date, I learned all about her.  A woman of
 compassion, she had bought a water bed because it made the
 fleet feel more at home.  She had also bought a high-tech,
 no-mess vibrator, only to learn it was an electric orange

 I thought it would be responsible of me to inquire about
 her medical history.  Her gynecologist had said that,
 though she needed retreads, she didn't have any social
 diseases.  This was a relief because it meant the
 president wouldn't have to order a stand down of all naval
 operations.  Her neurologist had said that her brain was
 still a virgin, its fragile tissues untouched by knowledge.

 Her favorite literary work was Kafka's "Metamorphosis".
 She hadn't read it, but she had seen an ad for the promo of
 the music video.  She could emphathize with a human mind
 that finds itself trapped inside the body of an insect,
 because she suffered the opposite problem.

 She was my girl of my dreams.

 Toward the end of the evening, I made my move.  "Pound
 bang slash bin slash cush semi ell ess minus ell splat."

 She fell against me, nearly swooning.  Should I strike
 while the iron is hot?  The sperm bank had already
 scheduled to within 4 minutes every ejaculation I would
 have in the next year.  But how often does a man find true
 love?  I decided I would service both Candy and the sperm
 bank, spreading myself thin, so to speak.

 "Candy, would you like to go to my place and view my
 itchings?  We could practice CPR.  I'll check you for
 tumors.  Maybe a lower GI series?"

 We got to my apartment and with a flourish I opened the
 door to my my lair of lust.  "Welcome to my Altar of
 Ecstasy, my Boudoir of Bliss."

 "Gee, it looks just like a sperm donor room."

 We wasted no time.  She was so hot her bust deployed like
 a Chrysler air bag.  All night it was twiddle twiddle
 twiddle pipe mount socket pound bang pound bang splat
 return.  Consummate, consummate, consummate.

 In the morning I staggered to the sperm bank.  The vigor
 of youth had abondoned me.  I needed a heavy styling mousse
 to achieve the hardness needed to raise my flag over Iwo
 Jima and produce a specimen.  The cup would've held more
 microbes if it was filled with Jersey tapwater.

 Unfortunately, the doctor chose that day for a spot check
 of my handiwork.  He looked at my specimen under a micro-
 scope, but couldn't find anything.  He continued hunting
 for Red October and finally found a sperm.  It tried to
 swim, but then it grabbed its chest and rolled over.

 So, my career ended as soon as it started.  But my romance
 has flourished.  Candy has proven to be a challenging
 libidinal dynamo, but nothing me and some new vacuum
 cleaner attachments can't handle.

Subj:     Sperm Bank Robber (S44)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #212 in 1997

 A masked man walks into a sperm bank, points a gun at the
 woman behind the counter and shouts, "open the safe!"

 "But this is not a real bank!" the woman replies "it's a
 *sperm* bank."

 "Open the safe or I'll shoot!" the man shouts.

 The woman, now terrified, opens the safe.

 "Now take one of the bottles and drink it.", he says.

 "But sir, these are sperm samples!" the woman replies.

 "Just drink it or I'll shoot!"

 The woman opens the bottle and drinks the lot. "Now take
 another bottle and drink it."

 "But sir, I just drank one!"

 "Drink another one or I'll shoot you!"

 The woman has no alternative and drinks a second bottle.

 When she has emptied it the man now takes off his mask and
 the woman is surprised to see the robber is her husband.

 "Now you see, Honey", he says, "it isn't so difficult now
 is it!"

Subj:     Short Sperm Jokes

Subj:     Embarrassing - GIF
          in 2005 (S434)
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs)
 The animated GIF 'Embarrassing' can be view by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     New York State County Worker Fired (S261b)
          From: jerry in 2002
 A New York State man, a supervisor with the Onondaga County
 Department of Social Services, who has been arrested and
 suspended without pay.  For more than 30 years, he has been
 masturbating into the coffee cups of coworkers.  His
 targets were six women.

 He and all coworkers will be tested for diseases and
 counseling is being provided.

 Post-Standard (Syracuse, NY) 24-Jan-02

Subj:     New Hand Cream - Cartoon
          in 2005 (S418)
..........Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 You can view this cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Taking Your Dress To the Cleaners (S260, S697)
          From: thebartend in 2002
 Monica went to the dry cleaners and said, "Excuse me, I
 would like to get my dress cleaned."

 And the little old man was barely able to hear her and
 said," What did you say?"

 She replied, "I would like to get my dress cleaned sir."

 And the old man still could not hear her and said, "Come

 She replied. "No, Mustard."

Subj:     Three Guys Discuss Early Memories (S232)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day in 2001
 Three guys are debating who has the best memory.  First guy
 says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade class."

 Second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery
 School!"  Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell,
 that's nothing.  I can remember going to the senior prom
 with my father, and coming home with my mother."

Subj:     Tonto And Lone Ranger Are Lost (S17)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #80
 Tonto and the Lone Ranger were lost on the prairie one day.
 The Lone Ranger, says to Tonto, "Use your Indian instincts
 and get us out of this mess."

 Tonto bends down and puts his ear to the ground.  He turns
 and says to the Lone Ranger, "Buffalo come."

 The Lone Ranger says to Tonto, "How do you know?"

 Tonto says, "Ear sticky."

Subj:     Mayonnaise And The Adult Movies (S36)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #198 in 1997
 In college, my best friend told me that he would visit an
 adult movie when he was bored.  (They used to have 'em in
 theatres; this was before VCRs.)  He would take a spoon
 and a jar of mayonnaise, sit in the back row, and every
 so often flick a glob forward.


 My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor
 needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen
 specimen.  I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

From: KMACINTY in 2002 (S301b)
 The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm
 when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it
 into his mate.  So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean
 every time one unloads.  And you wonder why the ocean is
 so salty?


From: The Sequel Collage Beta #2 in 1998
 Q: Why do men make millions of sperm cells when only
    one is needed to fertilize the egg?
 A: Have you ever known a man to ask for directions?

 Q: Why is semen white and urine yellow?
 A: So you can tell if you are coming or going.

 Q: Using nautical terminology, define the word 'dancing'.
 A: Dancing is a navel engagement without loss of semen.

 Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other?
 A: fuck it..we'll never find an egg in all this shit.

 Q: What does a lawyer have in common with a sperm?
 A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming
    a human being.

 Q: How does a girl know when her boyfriend's sperm count
    is to high?
 A: When she has to chew before swallowing. (Playboy April, 1997)

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #19
 Q: What's the difference between love, true love and
    showing off?
 A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #83
 Q: Why are you being paid more for a sperm donation than
    for a blood one?
 A: Because it's hand made.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #86
 Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
 A: You know she'll swallow.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #178
 Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
 A: His wife died.

 Q: What's the difference between men and jelly beans?
 A: Jelly beans come in colours.

From: dscott in 1997
 Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird
    of true love?
 A: The swallow.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #193
 Q: What should you do if you come across a tiger
    in the jungle?
 A: Wipe it off and apologise.

 Q: What's gray and comes in quarts?
 A: An elephant.

From: BREWONETO in 1998
 Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
 A: Full.

From: BawdyNet Test Message in 1998
 Q: What's the difference between a woman and a coffin ?
 A: You come in one and go in the other.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #247 in 1998
 Q: What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
 A: Come in eight flavors.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #136 in 1998
 Q: What's the difference between a woman and a coffin ?
 A: You come in one and go in the other.

From: kmacinty in 2002 (S282b)
 Q: How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
 A: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.

                           -(o o)-
.........................Smiley Gets Chased from Smiliemania.da.