Subj: Track Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 14 jokes and articles)
Torch from
Steve Gibbs
| >>>
Subj: Track Jokes (Gz) (Includes 14 jokes and articles) |
|
Torch from Steve Gibbs |
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Jim
Fixx's Death'
DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Running
Off A Cliff'
JOBS3 file - 'Three
Boys Brag About Father's Speed'
OTHER SPORTS - 'Iron Man Competition'
SEX-SUPP - 'Sex
Track Race'
STORIES-SUPP - 'The
Boy Who Wouldn't Die'
Swimming - 'Ausi
Olympic Swimmer & The Gymnast'
TENNIS file - 'Jogger
Grabs Tennis Ball'
WOMEN2 file - 'Three
Women Discuss Sex Lives'
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| Subj:
The 2008 Olympic Games (S592)
From: aldavito on 5/19/2008 Photo from
Yahoo!
Videos...
|
 |
This commercial video is a wonderful
trip to China which is
preparing for the 2008 Summer
Olympics. Click 'HERE' to view.
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Subj: The
2004 Olympics (S394)
From: igiggle on 8/14/2004 (S394b - school-supp)
Here's the official site for
Athens 2004
http://www.athens2004.com/
Olympic Facts -
http://history1900s.about.com/library/misc/blolympicfacts.htm
Olympic Photo Gallery -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics_2004/photo_galleries/
Pictures from the 2004 games.
Olympic History
http://www.musarium.com/kodak/olympics/olympichistory/
The Olympic Motto: In 1921,
Pierre de Coubertin, founder
of the modern Olympic Games,
borrowed a Latin phrase from
his friend, Father Henri Didon,
for the Olympic motto:
Citius, Altius, Fortius ("Swifter,
Higher, Stronger").
Real Gold Medals: The last Olympic
gold medals that
were made entirely out of gold
were awarded in 1912.
Every two years, Rosie and I
makeup for all the TV we’ve missed
during the Olympics.
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Subj: First
Olympics Riddle (S278b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/1/2002
When and where were the first ancient Olympic Games held?
x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x
ANSWER
At Olympia in July 776 BC
(This is as per the evidence available.
But it is believed
to be much older)
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Subj: Wife's
Lover Runs Nude In Race (S219, S589b)
From: ICohen on 4/9/2001
A woman was having an affair
during the day while her husband
was at work. One day she
was in bed with her boyfriend when
she heard her husband's car
pull in the driveway. She yelled
at the boyfriend, "Hurry! Grab
your clothes and jump out the
window; my husband's home early!"
The boyfriend looked out the
window and said, "I can't jump
out the window! "It's raining
like hell out there!"
She said, "If my husband catches
us in here, he'll kill us
both!".
So the boyfriend grabs his clothes
and jumps out the window!
As he began running down the
street, he discovered he had run
right in the middle of a town
marathon, so he started running
along beside the others.
Being naked, with his clothes
tucked under his arm, he tried
to "blend in" as best he could.
One of the runners asked him,
"Do you always run in the nude?"
He answered, while gasping for
air, "Oh, yes, it feels so free
having the air blow over your
skin while you are running."
The other runner then asked the
nude man, "Do you always run
carrying your clothes on your
arm?" The nude man answered
breathlessly, "Oh, yes, that
way I can get dressed right at
the end of the run and get in
my car to go home!"
The runner then asked, "Do you
always wear a condom when you
run?" His reply: "Only
if it's raining."
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 |
Subj:
Track Accidents (S593b)
From: tom on 5/25/2008 |
You can view this interesting movie on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Olympic
Condoms (S189, S400b)
From: thebartend on 09/15/2000
and
From: LABLaughsAdult on 9/15/2004
A man is out shopping and discovers
a new brand of Olympic
condoms. Clearly impressed,
he buys a pack. Upon getting
home he announces to his wife
the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There is three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds wryely, "Why
don't you wear Silver, it would
be nice if you came second for
a change!".
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Subj: Australian
Olympic Questions (S188)
From: KMACINTY on 09/08/2000
Here are some of the questions
that were asked of the Sydney
Olympic Committee via their
Web site, and answers supplied
where appropriate.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos
in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much beer
you've consumed...
Q: Which direction should I drive
- Perth to Darwin or
Darwin to Perth
- to avoid driving with the sun in
my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering
that the Olympics are
being held in Sydney.
Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)
Q: Can you tell me the regions
in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller
than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
Q: Can you give me some information
about hippo racing
in Australia? (USA)
A: What's this guy smoking,
and where do I get some?
Q: Which direction is North in
Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should
be about right.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna
Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Americans have long had considerable
trouble
distinguishing
between Austria and Australia.
Q: I have a question about a
famous animal in Australia,
but I forget its
name. It's a kind of bear and lives
in trees. (USA)
Q: Will I be able to speak English
most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn
it first.
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Subj: Steroids
On The Girl's Track Team (DU)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #217 on 97-12-16
The over-ambitious coach of a
girls track team had been
administering steroids to the
squad on a regular basis for
several months. An obvious
result of the steroid use was
that the teams' overall performance
greatly improved. They
won the county, state, and national
championships, all in
the same year.
One day, Sally, a sixteen year
old high jumper, visited the
coach in his office. "Excuse
me, Coach, could I talk to you.
I have a little problem."
"Sure, Sally," replied the coach, "What can I do for you?"
Sally hung her head low and said,
"Well, a lot of curly,
dark hair has started to grow
on my chest."
"What?" the surprised coach yelped, "How far down does it go?"
She answered softly, "Down, between
my legs - In fact, it
covers my testicles...
....and that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about."
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Subj: Short
Track Jokes
| Subj:
New Olympic Event (S437b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/8/2005 |
 |
Top
Subj: Chinese
Olympics Team (S188)
From: TAdams on 09/08/2000
I don't know if you heard but
there is a scandal involving
drugs and the Chinese Olympic
team this year...
They ran blood tests, and found
elevated levels of MSG...
and also traces of heartworm
medication.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/26/2002
(S265c)
"The battles that count aren't
the ones for gold medals.
The struggles within yourself
are where it's at."
-- Jesse Owens
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 4/9/2002 (S272c)
Marathon runners with bad footwear
suffer the agony
of defeat
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/20/2002 (S273c)
"Fill the unforgiving minute
with sixty seconds worth
of distance run." --
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
From: igiggle on Date: 11/28/2005 (S462b)
A.C. Gilvert, the inventor of
the Erector set, won
an Olympic gold medal in 1908
for the pole vault.
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 |
Distance running smiley from
Smiley_Central |