Subj:     English Language Supp Jokes
..........(Includes 50 jokes, 18 1123,25,cf,vXT2a,21)
..........L5 Update

Book and bird  from
Includes the following:  Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S638c)
........................."Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes - Musical Video (S970)
.........................Ships In The Night (DU)
.........................George Carlin On Euphemistic Language - Video (S769)
.........................Complete Vs Finished (S855)
.........................Do you ACTUALLY Know English? - Web Site Test (S915)
.........................Collective Nouns In The English Language (S765)
.........................Going West By Maurice Gee - Video (S706)
.........................Find A 12 Letter Word (S555)
.........................Word Riddle... Amazing! - Video (S528c)
.........................Forgotten Words (S503b)
.........................Frazz Sunday Comic Strip - Web Page (S620b)
.........................Modern Shakespeare (S427b)
.........................4 Cans Of Alphabet Soup - Drawing (S925)
.........................Romeo And Juliet-Net Txt Version (S333b)
.........................Word Riddle II - Web Page (S639c)
.........................Rules Of English (S559c)
.........................Sketch Show - The English Course Sketch - Video (S764)
.........................Grammar Rules For The Unenlightened; Or, How To Write Good (S119)
.........................More Short English Jokes
..............................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip - Web Page (S741)
..............................Uncle Art's Funland - Web Page w/Newspaper(S659b)
..............................Uncle Art's Funland II - Web Page w/Newspaper (S645c)
..............................Uncle Art's Funland III - Web Page w/Newspaper (S666b)
..............................Uncle Art's Funland IV - Web Page w/Newspaper (S683b)
..............................Uncle Art's Funland V - Web Page w/Newspaper(S669)
..............................Importance Of Learning English - Web Page w/Photo (S639c)
..............................One Big Happy Comic Strip - Web Page w/4 Comics (S631c)
..............................A Lick And A Promise - Web Page (S625c)
..............................Grammer Lesson (S350)
..............................Text Reversal - Web Site (S569b)
..............................Grammar Problem (S504c)
..............................Shakespeare-Battleship Sunday Comic Strip - Web Page (S545c)
..............................Words As Nouns And Verbs (S486b)
..............................Encyclopedias And Dictionaries Online - Web Site (S471c)
..............................How To Write Badly But Readable (S346)
..............................How To Write Badly But Readable II - Web Page w/JPG (S545c)
..............................How To Write Badly But Readable III (S764)
..............................Agnes Comic Strip - Web Page (S650)
..............................One Big Happy Comic Strip V - Web Page (S640c)


     by John Graziano in 2009 (S638c)
 Source: www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/03/20
Subj:     "Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes 
          By alyankovicVEVO (S970d-iFrame)
          From: Rosie Switzer
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/8Gv0H-vPoDc
Photo from YouTube.com...

 Click 'HERE' to see Weird Al's parody of Robin Thicke's
 "Blurred Lines."  Grammar sticklers everywhere are in

Sunj:     Ships In The Night
          by Lawrence Bush

 I had only just arrived at the club when I bumped into Roger.
 After we had exchanged a few pleasantries, he lowered his
 voice and asked, "What do you think of Martha and I as a
 potential twosome?"

 "That," I replied, "would be a mistake.  Martha and me is
 more like it."

 "You're interested in Martha?"

 "I'm interested in clear communication."

 "Fair enough," he agreed.  "May the best man win."  Then
 he sighed.

 "Here I thought we had a clear path to becoming a very
 unique couple."

 "You couldn't be a very unique couple, Roger."

 "Oh?  And why is that?"

 "Martha couldn't be a little pregnant, could she?"

 "Say what?  You think that Martha and me..."

 "Martha and I."

 "Oh."  Roger blushed and set down his drink.  "Gee, I
 didn't know."

 "Of course you didn't," I assured him.  "Most people don't."

 "I feel very badly about this."

 "You shouldn't say that: I feel bad..."

 "Please, don't," Roger said. "If anyone's at fault here,
 it's me!"

Subj:     George Carlin On Euphemistic Language
          in 2011 (S769d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/vuEQixrBKCc

 In this stand-up routing from 1990, George Carlin discusses
 euphemisms in the English language.  A euphemism is the
 substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for
 one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; such
 as using "eliminate" as a euphemism for "kill," or using
 "post-traumatic stress disorder" as a euphemism for "shell
 shock."  Click 'HERE' to see this great video on our use
 of the "Soft Language."

Subj:     Complete Vs Finished (S855)
          From: darrelldre in 2013

 For the linguists among us...

 No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the
 difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.  However, in a recent
 linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by
 some of the best linguists in the world:  Samsundar Balgobin, a
 Guyanese, was the clear winner.

 His final challenge was this:  Some say there is no difference
 between COMPLETE and FINISHED.  Please explain the difference
 between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.

 Here is his astute answer:  "When you marry the right woman, you
 are COMPLETE.  But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are
 FINISHED.  And when the right one catches you with the wrong one,

 His answer was received with a standing ovation.

Subj:     Do you ACTUALLY Know English?
          Created By Jon Bumpus (S915)
          From: DianeJames Malicki
 Source: www.playbuzz.com/jonb10/do

 Find out if you're in good grammatical standing with the
 English language!  Click on the above source to take this
 not-so-easy, sixteen question test.  I got eleven right.

Subj:     Collective Nouns In The English Language
          From: AFine963 in 2011 (S765)

 The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic
 collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

 We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens,
 a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.  However, less widely
 known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their
 cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and,
 presumably because they look so wise a Parliament of owls.

 Now consider a group of Baboons.  They are the loudest, most
 dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least
 intelligent of all primates.  And what is the proper collective
 noun for a group of baboons?

 Believe it or not ....... a Congress!

 I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of

Subj:     Going West By Maurice Gee
          in 2010 (S706d-On site,SWF)
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source: www.wimp.com/goingwest/

 Filmed for NewZeland Book Council
 Produced by Agency: Colenso BBDO
 Animated by Andersen M Studio
 Design and animation: Line Andersen
 Photography and lighting: Martin Andersen
 Sound design: Mikkel H. Eriksen (Instrument Studio)

 I put all the above credits in this description, because
 this video is absolutely amazing.  Click 'HERE' to see
 how to make a book come alive.  The pages come to life
 beautifully.  This video is sinister, clever, and real art.

Subj:     Find A 12 Letter Word (S555)
          From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers in 2007
 Source: www.braingle.com/brainteasers/

 Find a common 12 letter English word containing three P's,
 two R's, two A's, one O, one E, one D, one T, and one other

 The solution can be found at the source above.

Subj:     Word Riddle... Amazing!
          in 2007 (S528c,d-iFrame)
 At: www.youtube.com/embed/6hOwBPqSUvI

 (Also see 'Find A Word Riddle #13' in Riddles)

 There is a common English word that is nine letters long.
 Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains
 an English word-from nine letters right down to a single
 letter.  What is the original word, and what are the words
 that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?
 This video is a riddle.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Forgotten Words (S503b)
          From: flovilla in 2006

 I came across this phrase in a book yesterday "FENDER SKIRTS."
 A term I haven't heard in a long time and thinking about
 "FENDER SKIRTS" started me thinking about other words that
 quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice.

 Like "CURB FEELERS" and "STEERING KNOBS".  Since I'd been
 thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first.
 Kids will probably have to find some elderly person over 50
 to explain dome of these terms to you.

 Remember "CONTINENTAL KITS?" They were rear bumper extenders
 and "SPARE TIRE COVERS" that were supposed to make any car
 as cool as a Lincoln Continental.

 When did we quit calling them "EMERGENCY BRAKES?"  At some
 point "PARKING BRAKE" became the proper term.  But I miss
 the hint of drama that went with "EMERGENCY BRAKE".

 I'm sad too, that almost all the old folks are gone who
 would call the "ACCELERATOR" the "FOOT FEED".

 Didn't you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come
 home, so you could ride the "RUNNING BOARD" up to the house?

 Here's a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never
 hear anymore - "STORE-BOUGHT."  Of course, just about every-
 thing is "STORE-BOUGHT" these days.  But once it was bragging
 material to have a "STORE-BOUGHT" dress or "STORE-BOUGHT" bag
 of candy.

 "COAST TO COAST" is a phrase that once held all sorts of
 excitement and now means almost nothing.  Now we take the
 term "WORLD WIDE" for granted.  This floors me.

 On a smaller scale, "WALL-TO-WALL" was once a magical term
 in our homes.  In the '50s, everyone covered his or her
 hardwood floors with, wow "WALL-TO-WALL" carpeting!  Today,
 everyone replaces their "WALL-TO-WALL" carpeting with
 hardwood floors.  Go figure!

 When's the last time you heard the quaint phrase "IN A
 FAMILY WAY?"  It's hard to imagine that the word "PREGNANT"
 was once considered a little too graphic, a little too
 clinical for use in polite company.  So we had all that
 talk about stork visits and "BEING IN THE FAMILY WAY" or

 Apparently "BRASSIERE" is a word no longer in usage.  I
 said it the other day and my daughter cracked up, I guess
 it's just "BRA" now "UNMENTIONABLES" probably wouldn't be
 understood at all.

 I always loved going to the "PICTURE SHOW", but I considered
 "MOVIE" an affection.

 Most of these words go back to the '50s, but here's a pure-
 '60's word I came across the other day- "RAT FINK".  Ooh,
 what a nasty put-down!

 Here's a word I miss- "PERCOLATOR".  That was just a fun
 word to say.  And what was it replaced with?  "COFFEE MAKER".
 How dull.  Mr.Coffee, I blame you for this.

 I miss those made-up marketing words that were meant to
 sound so modern and now sound so retro.  Words like "DYNAFLOW"
 and "ELECTROLUX."  Introducing the 1963 Admiral TV, now

 Food for thought- was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago?
 Nobody complains of that anymore.  Maybe that's what Castor
 Oil cured, because I never hear mothers threatening kids with
 Caster Oil anymore.

 Some words aren't gone, but are definitely on the endangered
 list.  The one that grieves me most is "SUPPER".  Now everybody
 says "DINNER."

 Save a great word.  Invite someone to supper.  Discuss "Fender

Subj:.....Frazz Sunday Comic Strip
          by Jef Mallett in 2000 (S620b)
..........At: www.gocomics.com/frazz/2008/11/23

 In this episode janitor Edwin Frazier and a student discuss
 poetry and the different parts of speech.  Click 'HERE' to
 see this cute comic strip.

Subj:     Modern Shakespeare (S427b)
          From: jbcary1 in 2005

 William Shakespeare was a very wise man. But you'd never know
 it because he used such fancy-schmancy words.  Now our crack
 team of cunning linguists has translated a number of Shake-
 speare's quotes into modern day English.  It's about time we
 were all able to enjoy the wit and wisdom of this oddly
 groomed scribe.

 Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.
 Translation: We should masturbate more.

 The weakest kind of fruit drops earliest to the ground.
 Translation: Only fight sissies.

 Great floods have flown from simple sources.
 Translation: Never have sex with your girlfriend during
 her period.

 The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
 Translation: Let's kill all the lawyers. Really.

 Be to yourself as you would to your friend.
 Translation: It's OK to sleep with your sister because your
 friend sure would.

 Is the jay more precious than the lark because his feathers
 are more beautiful?
 Translation: Good-looking strippers get bigger tips.

 Have patience, and endure.
 Translation: Use one of those numbing creams if you have to.
 Or try wearing five condoms at once.

 I can express no kinder sign of love than this kind kiss.
 Translation: First base is better than striking out altogether.

 Men at some time are masters of their fate.
 Translation: Get married and you're screwed.

 They that thrive well take counsel of their friends.
 Translation: If your drinking buddies say she's really a man,
 listen to them.

 That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, if with his
 tongue he cannot win a woman.
 Translation: If you're desperate to impress her, you can
 always resort to oral sex.

 Heaven hath a hand in these events.
 Translation: How else would you explain that Pamela Anderson

 O, flatter me, for love delights in praises.
 Translation: Honesty isn't necessarily the best policy when
 it comes to penis size.

 The course of true love never did run smooth.
 Translation: When dumping someone, always wear a
 protective cup.

 I'll note you in my book of memory.
 Translation: Don't expect me to call the day after.

 Alas, poor world, what treasure hast thou lost.
 Translation: Lap dances have actually been outlawed in some
 parts of the country.

 Love's gentle spring doth always fresh remain.
 Translation: With a little help from our friends at
 Massengill, that is.

 Praising what is lost, makes the remembrance dear.
 Translation: When you're telling your buddies about your
 conquests, exaggerate. A lot.

 'Tis better to be brief than tedious.
 Translation: Nooners rock.

 My endeavors have ever come too short of my desires.
 Translation: You've never had twins and you never will.
 Get over it.

 John Cary
 Advanced Reliability Technologies, LLC

 Subj:     4 Cans Of Alphabet Soup (S925)
          From: Siretta Tuttle on Facebook
 Source: (Removed from facebook.com/photo)
Subj:     Romeo And Juliet-Net Txt Version (S333b)
          From: DafterLafter in 2003

  --------------------- Act 1 -----------------------

 Romeo : R u awake? Want 2 chat?
 Juliet: O Rom. Where4 art thou?
 Romeo:  Outside yr window.
 Juliet: Stalker!
 Romeo:  Had 2 come. feeling jiggy.
 Juliet: B careful. My family h8 u.
 Romeo:  Tell me about it. What about u?
 Juliet: 'm up for marriage f u are.. Is tht a bit fwd?
 Romeo:  No. Yes. No. Oh, dsnt mat-r,  2moro @ 9?
 Juliet: Luv U xxxx
 Romeo:  CU then xxxx

  --------------------- Act 2 -----------------------

 Friar:  Do u?
 Juliet: I do
 Romeo:  I do

  --------------------- Act 3 -----------------------

 Juliet: Come bck 2 bed. It's the nightingale not the lark.
 Romeo:  OK
 Juliet: !!! I ws wrong !!!. It's the lark. U gotta go.
         Or die.
 Romeo:  Damn. I shouldn't hv wasted Tybalt ? gt banished.
 Juliet: When CU again?
 Romeo:  Soon. Promise. Dry sorrow drinks our blood. Adieu.
 Juliet: Miss u big time.

  --------------------- Act 4 -----------------------

 Nurse:  Yr mum says u have 2 marry Paris!!
 Juliet: No way. Yuk yuk yuk.  n-e-way, am mard 2 Rom.

  --------------------- Act 5 -----------------------

 Friar:  Really? O no. U wl have 2 take potion
         that makes u look ded.
 Juliet: Gr8.

 --------------------- Act 6 -----------------------

 Romeo:  J-why r u not returning my texts?
 Romeo:  RUOK? Am abroad but phone still works.
 Romeo:  TEXT ME!
 Batty:  Bad news. J dead. Sorry m8.

  --------------------- Act 7 -----------------------

 Romeo:  J-wish u wr able 2 read this...am now poisoning ?
         and climbing in yr grave. LUV U Ju xxxx

  --------------------- Act 8 -----------------------

 Juliet: R-got yr text! Am alive! Ws faking it! Whr RU? Oh...
 Friar:  Vry bad situation.
 Juliet: Nightmare. LUVU2. Always. Dagger.


Subj:     Word Riddle II 
          From: LABLaughsRiddles
..........in 2009 (S639c)

 These are well known sayings some of us use week in,
 week out.  How well can you translate them?

  1. Scintillate, Scintillate, asteroid exiguous.

  2. Members of an avian species of
     identical plumage congregate.

  3. Surveillance should precede salutations.

  4. Pulchritude poses possesses solely
     cutaneous profundity

  5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose
     over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

  6. Freedom from incrustations of grime
     is contiguous to rectitude.

  7. The stylus is more potent then the claymore.

  8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a
     superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

  9. Eschew the implement of correction
     of vitiate the scion.

 10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an
     unremittingly ogled saucepan does not does reach 100C?.

 11. All articles that coruscate with
     resplendence are not truly auriferous.

 12. Where there are visible vapors in ignited
     carbonaceous material,  there is conflagration.

 13. Sorting on the part of mendicants
     must be interdicted.

 14. A plethora of individual with expertise in
     culinary techniques vitiate the potable
     concoctions produced by steeping certain

 15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.

 16. Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.

 17. Individuals who make their abode in vitreous
     edifices would be advised to refrain from
     catapulting petrous projectiles.

 18. Neophyte's serendipity.

 19. Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores
     without interludes of hedonistic diversion
     renders John a habatudinous fellow.

 20. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no
     congeries of a small, green bryophytic plant.

 21. A person presenting the ultimate cachinnation
     possess thereby the optimal cachinnation.

 22. Abstention from any aleatory undertakings
     precludes a potent potential escalation
     of lucrative nature.

 23. Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency
     have the potential of fracturing my osseous
     structures but appellations will eternally
     name innocuous.

 Click 'HERE' to view the answers.

Subj:     Rules Of English (S559c)
          From: humorlist-digest V1 #274 in 1997

 Here are several very important but often forgotten rules
 of English:

  1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

  3. Avoid cliches like the plague.  (They're old hat.)

  4. Employ the vernacular.

  5. Eschew ampersands ? abbreviations, etc.

  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

  8. Contractions aren't necessary.

  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

 10. One should never generalize.

 11. Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
     "I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know."

 12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

 13. Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary;
     it's highly superfluous.

 14. Profanity sucks.

 15. Be more or less specific.

 16. Understatement is always best..

 17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

 18. One-word sentences?  Eliminate.

 19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

 20. The passive voice is to be avoided.

 21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

 22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

 23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

 24. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

 25. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

 26. No sentence fragments.

 27. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
     Parenthetical words

 28. however should be enclosed in commas.

 29. Never use a big word when a diminutive
     one would suffice.

 30. Use words correctly, irregardless of how
     others use them.

 31. Understatement is always the absolute best
     way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

 32. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a
     thousand times:   Resist hyperbole; not one
     writer in a million can use it correctly.

 33. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

 34. Proofread carefully to see if you any
     words out.

Subj:     Sketch Show - The English Course Sketch
          in 2011 (S764d-On Site)
 Source1: www.wimp.com/badschool/
 Source2: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sketch_Show

 The Sketch Show was a British television sketch comedy
 program. It aired on ITV between 2001 and 2003.

 A short-lived spinoff of the same title was produced in
 the United States.  The American version of the show,
 produced by Kelsey Grammer, aired during 2005 on Fox.
 The main cast consisted of Malcolm Barrett, Kaitlin
 Olson, Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe O'Brian from the hit
 TV show 24 Hours), and Paul F. Tompkins, as well
 as Lee Mack from the British version of the show.

 The English Course Sketch is a skit in which the cast is
 taking an English course and each one has a particular
 problem with an aspect of the language, which comes out
 in their cafeteria conversation.

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, short skit.

Subj:     Grammar Rules For The Unenlightened;
.............Or, How To Write Good
          From: Ossama's Laugh in 1997 (S119)

 Don't use no double negatives
 Don't never use no triple negatives.
 No sentence fragments
 Corollary: Complete sentences: important.
 Stamp out and eliminate redundancy.
 Avoid cliches like the plague.
 All generalizations are bad.
 Corollary: All statements must be specific.
 Never listen to advice.
 Take care that your verb and subject is in agreement.
 A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.
 Down with categorical imperatives.
 Avoid those run-on sentences that just go on, and on, and on,
    they never stop, they just keep rambling, and you really
    wish the person would just shut up, but no, they just keep
    going, they're worse than the Energizer Bunny, they babble
    incessantly, and these sentences, they just never stop,
    they go on forever... if you get my drift...
 Never contradict yourself always.
 You should never use the second person.
 When dangling, watch your participles.
 Never go off on tangents, which are lines that intersect a
    curve at only one point and were discovered by Euclid, who
    lived in the sixth century, which was an era dominated by
    the Goths, who lived in what we now know as Poland...
 As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations."
 Excessive use of exclamation points can be disastrous!!!!!
 Remember to end each sentence with a period
 Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
 Don't use question marks inappropriately?
 Don't be terse.
 Don't obfuscate your theses with extraneous verbiage.
 Never use that totally cool, radically groovy out-of-date
 Avoid tumbling off the cliff of triteness into the black
    abyss of overused metaphors.
 Keep your ear to the grindstone, your nose to the ground,
    take the bull by the horns of a dilemma, and stop mixing
    your metaphors.
 Avoid those abysmally horrible, outrageously repellent
 Avoid any awful anachronistic aggravating antediluvian

Subj:     More Short English Jokes

Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip
          By B Crane in 2011 (S741)
 Source: gocomics.com/pickles/2011/03/27
 Click 'HERE' to learn the ten most powerful 2-letter
 words in the English language.

Subj:     Uncle Art's Funland (S659b)
          By N.A.Nugent in 2009
..........At: (Removed from unitedfeatures.com)
.Drawing from UnitedFeatures.com
 Uncle Art's Funland appears in the Sunday comics.
 Click 'HERE' to try this word recognition puzzle,
 which is designed to be easily solved by children.

Subj:     Uncle Art's Funland II (S645c)
          By N.A.Nugent in 2009
 Source: (Removed from unitedfeatures.com)
 Uncle Art's Funland appears in the Sunday comics.
 Click 'HERE'to try this word puzzle, which is
 designed to be easily solved by an eight year old.

Subj:     Uncle Art's Funland III (S666b)
          By N.A.Nugent in 2009
..........At: (Removed from unitedfeatures.com)
.Drawing from UnitedFeatures.com
 Uncle Art's Funland appears in the Sunday comics.
 Click 'HERE' to try this puzzle designed for
 children.  See how many three letter words you
 can spell with these nine key letters.

Subj:     Uncle Art's Funland IV (S683b)
          By N.A.Nugent in 2010
 Source: (Removed from unitedfeatures.com)
 Uncle Art's Funland appears in the Sunday comics.
 Homonyms are words that sound the same but have
 different meanings.  There are eight homonyms in
 this ten-word sentence.  Can you write in the
 proper words?  Click 'HERE' to try this puzzle
 designed for children.

Subj:     Uncle Art's Funland V (S669)
          By N.A.Nugent in 2009
..........At: (Removed from unitedfeatures.com)
.Drawing from UnitedFeatures.com
 Uncle Art's Funland appears in the Sunday comics.
 Click 'HERE' to try this puzzle designed for
 children.  By using the letters LNES, try to make
 a certain 13-letter word.  The letter L appears
 once, the letter N twice, the E four times, and
 the S six times.

Subj:     Importance Of Learning English
          From: tom in 2009 (S639c)
Photo from Flickr...
 Here is one reason why it is important to learn
 English.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

Subj:     One Big Happy Comic Strip (S631c)
          by Rick Detorie in 2009
..........At: www.gocomics.com/onebighappy
 These cute comic strips discusses adjectives, nouns
 and other parts of speech.  Click 'HERE' to see it.

Subj:     A Lick And A Promise
          in 2008 (S625c)
Photo from Comics and Sketches...
 'A lick and a promise' was just one of the many old phrases
 that our mothers, grandmothers, and others used that they
 probably heard from the generations before them.  With the
 passing of time, many old phrases become obsolete or even
 disappear.  This is unfortunate because some of them are
 very appropriate and humorous.  Click 'HERE' to read a list
 of some of forty-two memorable old phrases.

Subj:     Grammer Lesson (S350)
          From: CHRISDADDYG in 2003
 TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
 ELLEN: I is...
 TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
 ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Subj:     Text Reversal
          From: TextReversal
..........in 2007 (S569b)
 Source: www.textreverse.com/
 Go to the site above, and type in some text.  Press the
 'Reverse Text' button and your text is backwards.  For
 we who are still in middle school mentally, this is neat.

Subj:     Grammar Problem (S504c)
          From: curiouser in 2006
 Source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_while_John_had

 Can you make the words below into grammatically correct
 English simply by adding punctuation?  You may not change
 the word order, or add or remove any words.  You may
 replace lower case with upper case letters.

 James  while  Emily  had  had  had  had  had  had  had
 had  had  had  had  a  better  effect  on  the  teacher

 A solution is provided at the source above.

Subj:     Shakespeare-Battleship Sunday Comic Strip
          By Darby Conley in 2007 (S545c)
..........At: www.gocomics.com/getfuzzy/2007/06/24
 This "Get Fuzzy" Sunday comic strip on June 24 featured a
 Shakespeare-Battleship theme.  This cute comic can be seen
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Words As Nouns And Verbs (S486b)
          From: igiggle in 2006
 After I explained to my sophomore English class that party
 is a noun, not a verb, several students argued that since
 everybody uses the word as a verb, it should be acceptable.

 "Okay," I said.  "Give me some good examples."

 "How about Shakespeare?"  Josh replied.  "Remember, Juliet
 tells Romeo that partying is such sweet sorrow."
   ~~ Reader's Digest

Subj:     Encyclopedias And Dictionaries Online
          By Danielle Hollister
          From: igiggle in 2006 (S471c)
 Sources: www.bellaonline.com/articles/art4001.asp
 Over 40 encyclopedias and 140 dictionaries online.

Subj:     How To Write Badly But Readable
          From: woneye in 2003 (S346, S1123)
 Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't
 mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
 iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the
 rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll
 raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey
 lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

 This is wondefull to ear.  Now us lexdysics will be able to
 right hour oan grate bks.

Subj:     How To Write Badly But Readable II
          in 2007 (S545c)
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This cute JPG of the famous reading test can be seen
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     How To Write Badly But Readable III
          From: RDobry in 2011 (S764)
 If you can read this you have a strong mind:
 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG
 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!  1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD
 BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY
 W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD!  0NLY C3R741N
 P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.  R3 P057 1F U C4N R35D 7H15.

Subj:     Agnes Comic Strip (S650)
          by Tony Cochran in 2009
 Source: www.gocomics.com/agnes/2009/06/26
 Click 'HERE' to read this cute comic strip about
 words that end in "dous".

Subj:     One Big Happy Comic Strip V
..........by Rick Detorie in 2009 (S640c)
..........At: www.gocomics.com/onebighappy
 This cute comic strip discusses the use of the
 exclamation point in writing.  Click 'HERE' to
 see it.


From: DafterLafter in 2003 (S333b)
 Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's
 not at all true.  I have the heart of a young boy. ... In a
 jar.... On my desk.  -- Steven King

From: LABLaughs.com in 2003 (S336b)
 Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by
 mankind.  -- Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

From: LABLaughs.com in 2003 (S345b)
 Most people would succeed in small things,
 if they were not troubled with great ambitions.
   -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com in 2006 (S472b)
 "Necessity may be the mother of invention, but
  play is certainly the father."  -- Roger von Oech

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com in 2006 (S486b)
 A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
 and nobody wants to read.  -- Mark Twain

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com in 2006 (S486b)
 "You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream
  things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?"
    -- George Bernard Shaw

From: catlynnbray in 2006 (S490b)
 "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
  of any man I know."  -- Abraham Lincoln

From: LABLaughs.com in 2002 (S281b in Tho-Learn-Supp)
 The man who goes alone can start today; but he who
 travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   -- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

From: LABLaughs.com in 2006 (S515b in Tho-Learn-Supp)
 "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
 Live the life you have imagined."  -- Henry David Thoreau

From: ginafm in 2009 (S659b)
 Was learning cursive really necessary?

From: LABLaughs.com in 2010 (S681b)
 "Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tries,
  and a touch that never hurts."  -- Charles Dickens

From: Rebecca Champion in 2011 (S766)
 You are never too old to set another goal
 or to dream a new dream.  -- C. S. Lewis

                           -(o o)-
..............................From Smiley_Central.