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Subj:     Signs And Names Supp
..........(Includes 84 jokes, 31 1124,19,cf,vXT3a8a,7)
..........L5 Update
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Coke Cap from
A Little Bit of Everything
Includes the following:  A Sign From Anonymous (S842)
.........................Mother Who Names Her Child 'Le-a' (S1124)
.........................A Sign From Above - Video (S610b)
.........................Baby's Name Based On Occupation (S507c)
.........................The Story Of A Sign - Video (S611)
.........................Finding Your New Name (S406b, DU)
.........................Secret To Happiness Sign (S859)
.........................The Signs Of Our Times (S243b, DU)
.........................Weird Restaurant Names (DU)
.........................Other Signs And Names:
..............................Finger Message (S841)
..............................Church Signs In England (S679b)
..............................Logos Gone Terribly Wrong (S612c)
..............................Creative Advertising (S541c)
..............................A Very Stupid Sign (S593c)
..............................Obama Political Cartoon (S575b)
..............................Casa D'Ice Restaurant Signs (S568b)
..............................9 More Casa D'Ice Restaurant Signs (S573c)
..............................Old Marijuana Sign (S548b)
..............................Learn To Fly Sign (S528b)
..............................Outstanding Logos ? What's Behind Them (S518c)
..............................Oklahoma Truck Supply Sign (S538)
..............................Pacman Sign And Quote (S559b)
..............................Tequila and Salt (S572b)
..............................Nine Cute Signs (S755)
..............................My Kind Of Place (S681b)

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Top
Subj:     A Sign From Anonymous (S842)
          From: WordsOverPixels.com in 2013
 Source: www.wordsoverpixels.com/haters-gonna-hate-potatoes-gonna
.........-potate-waiters-go/a7534ed539a5e83b6a9b6d09a4999de1.html
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The source WordsOverPixels.com has hundreds
of amazing, thoughtful, and funny signs.
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Top
Subj:     Mother Who Names Her Child 'Le-a' (S1124)
          From: Andrew Fine in 2018
 Source: www.snopes.com/fact-check/le-a/

 How would you pronounce this as a child's name?

 Leah?? NO

 Lee - A?? NOPE

 Lay - a?? NO

 Lei?? Guess Again.

 Are you resorting to tongue clicks yet??

 It's pronounced "Ledasha". The dash is not silent.

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Subj:     A Sign From Above
          From: jerry in 2008
..........(S610b,d-Off Site in Cars-Supp)
 Source: www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/938044/

 Car gets crushed by a sign from above.  Is this person
 incredibly lucky, or unlucky?  You decide after seeing
 this ten second video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Baby's Name Based On Occupation (S507c)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2006

 Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....

 PROFESSION.................................NAME

 Lawyer's daughter..........................Sue
 Thief's son................................Rob
 Lawyer's son...............................Will
 Doctor's son...............................Bill
 Meteorologist's daughter...................Haley
 Steam shovel operator's son................Doug
 Hair stylist's son.........................Bob
 Homeopathic doctor's son...................Herb
 Justice of the peace's daughter............Mary
 Sound stage technician's son...............Mike
 Hot-dog vendor's son.......................Frank
 Gambler's daughter.........................Betty
 Exercise guru's son........................Jim
 Cattle thief's son.........................Russell
 Painter's son..............................Art
 Iron worker's son..........................Rusty
 TV show star's daughter....................Emmy
 Movie star's son...........................Oscar
 Barber's son...............................Harry
 Housewife's son ...........................Dusty
 Minister's daughter .......................Faith
 Day-trader's daughter .....................Hope
 Televangelist's daughter ..................Charity
 Geneticist's son ..........................Gene
 Espresso vendor's son .....................Joe
 Undertaker's son ..........................Barry
 Beautician's son ..........................Curly
 Gardener's daughter .......................Daisy
 Florist's daughter ........................Rose
 Baker's daughter ..........................Cookie
 Manicurist's son ..........................Hans
 Athlete's son .............................Victor
 Plumber's son .............................John
 Accountant's son ..........................Ira
 Musician's daughter .......................Melody
 Jeweler's daughter ........................Opal
 Gastrointerologist's daughter .............Fanny
 Butcher's daughter.........................Patty
 Bartender's daughter.......................Brandy
 Counterfeiter's son........................Bill
 Museum curator's son.......................Art
 Book printer's daughter....................Paige
 Trout fisher's daughter....................Brook
 Publisher's daughter.......................Mag
 Woodworker's daughter......................Peg
 Tennis player's son........................Ace
 Clothing manufacturer's daughter...........Polly Esther
 Teacher's son..............................Mark
 Singer's twin daughters....................Harmony and
    Melody Highway
 patrolman's son............................Chase

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Subj:     The Story Of A Sign
          From: edapsmas in 2008
..........(S611d-iFrame in Hand-Supp)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/PYMnKRv4TH0

 This short film (5 min.) was voted #1 for the special award
 at the Cannes 2008 Film Festival by YouTube viewers.  You
 view this touching video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Finding Your New Name (S406b, DU)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2004

 The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain
 Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by
 Dave Pilkey.  The evil Professor forces everyone to assume
 new names......  Use the third letter of your first name
 to determine your new first name:

 a = Poopsie
 b = Lumpy
 c = Buttercup
 d = Gadget
 e = Crusty
 f = Greasy
 g  = Fluffy
 h = Cheeseball
 i = Chim-Chim
 j = Stinky
 k = Flunky
 l = Bootie
 m = Pinky
 n = Zippy
 o = goober
 p = doofus
 q = slimy
 r = loopy
 s =  snotty
 t = tootie
 u = dorkey
 v = Squeezit
 w = Oprah
 x = Skipper
 y = Dinky
 z = Zsa-Zsa

 Use the second letter of your last name to
 determine the first half of your new last name:

 a = Apple
 b = Toilet
 c = Giggle
 d = Burger
 e = Girdle
 f = Barf
 g =  Lizard
 h = Waffle
 i = Cootie
 j = Monkey
 k = Potty
 l = Liver
 m = Banana
 n = Rhino
 o = Bubble
 p = Hamster
 q = Toad!
 r= Gizzard
 s = Pizza
 t  = Gerbil
 u = Chicken
 v = Pickle
 w = Chuckle
 x = Tofu
 y = Gorilla
 z =  Stinker

 Use the fourth letter of your last name to
 determine the  second half of your new last name:

 a = head
 b = mouth
 c = face
 d = nose
 e = tush
 f = breath
 g = pants
 h =  shorts
 i = lips
 j = honker
 k = butt
 l = brain
 m = tushie
 n = biscuits
 o = hiney
 p = chunks
 q = toes
 r = buns
 s = fanny
 t = sniffer
 u =  sprinkles
 v = kisser
 w = squirt
 x = humperdinck
 y = brains
 z = juice

 Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is
 Goober Chickenshorts.  William Jefferson Clinton
 is Bootie Liverbiscuits. Now when you SEND THIS
 ON use your NEW name as the subject.  And remember
 that children laugh an average of 146 times a day;
 adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.  Put
 more laughter in your day.

 ENJOY from Loopy Girdlebrain (Lorraine)

Top
Subj:     Secret To Happiness Sign (S859)
          From: virv in 2013
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Top
Subj:     The Signs Of Our Times (S243b, DU)
          From: jerry in 2001

 A sign that there is cause and effect, as seen in a shop
 window: ''Our motto is to give our customers the lowest
 possible prices and workmanship.''

 *** *** ***

 A sign that you should stay away from loan sharks, as seen
 at a loan company office: ''Ask about our plans for owning
 your home.''

 *** *** ***

 A sign that even professionals can reach their limits, as
 seen in a maternity ward: ''No children allowed''

 *** *** ***

 A sign that some people live in a time warp, as seen at a
 restaurant: ''Open seven days a week and weekends.''

 *** *** ***

 A sign that good marketing is all about controlling
 expectations, as seen on a delicatessen wall:
 ''Our best is none too good.''

 *** *** ***

 A sign that this is not your father's Christmas anymore,
 as seen in a toy department: ''Five Santa Clauses.  No
 waiting.''

 *** *** ***

 A sign that honesty is still highly regarded in business,
 as seen outside a country shop: ''We buy junk and sell
 antiques.''

 *** *** ***

 The signs are taken from the Old California Gazette in
 San Diego.  Dumb comments are our own.  Original reference
 found in the Steve Harvey column in the LA Times.

Top
Subj:     "Weird Restaurant Names" (DU)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #251 in 1998

 Tim - There is a Chinese takeaway in New Orleans with a
 picture of a small Oriental on roller skates bearing a tray
 of Chinese food boxes.  The name of the place? "Takee Outee"

 Andy - Here in Irvine, CA, There is a Restaurant called Tia
 Juana's.  They serve a damn fine margarita!

 John - There is a tavern here in Medford Oregon called
 dilligafs...{do I look like I give a fuck}

 Elaine - I was just in Memphis, TN last weekend.  They have
 a restaurant there called "Cheeburger Cheeburger."

 Stan - My favorite was the restaurant in the old Kingston,
 NY, bus depot.  It was called the Terminal Diner.

 Mel - Have you ever heard of the restaurant opened by a
 French man and a Black man?  It's called "Che What?"

 Richard - There is also a restaurant here in Palm Harbor,
 FL named "Aunt Chiladas".

 Jeff - There's a restaurant in Bangkok, Thailand called
 Cabbages ? Condoms.  My girlfriend's dad brought a T-shirt
 back from there earlier this month.  Then last week I saw
 it in a evening news program about prostitution in Thailand.
 Their menu's say  "Our food is guaranteed not to make you
 pregnant."

 Wally - There used to ba a tavern in Hammond, Indiana named
 "Bill's Knott Inn" on the side of the building it said
 "Free Beer -- Tomorrow"

 Emmy says there is a Nacho Momma's in Geneva NY.

 And Mike says there's one "...here in Baltimore, Maryland,
 in the Fell's Point Neighborhood. 2907 O'Donnell Street,
 410-675-0898"

 Marco - In Rotterdam, The Netherlands, we have a Chinese
 restaurant nemed "Wan Kok".  The name seems okay, until
 you know what it means in Dutch: "Lousy Cook"

 Cameron - at The Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains, just
 west of Sydney, there is an up market restaurant called...
 "The Fork- N- View".  Say it quickly, you'll get it.

 Ray from The Joke A Day List - My favorite named restaurant
 used to be outside of Detroit.  It was called the "Squat
 and Gobble".

 Skye - There used to be a restaurant in Murray, Utah,
 called Uncle Ben's Carry Out Ribs.....right next door to a
 mortuary.

 And David sends the last word on this subject:
 "How many goddammed "Nacho Mama" variations ARE there in
 this world?

 I'm thinking maybe somebody oughta figure out who started
 the first one, then collect some franchise fees from the
 others.  Sounds like a lucrative operation for so many
 Nacho Mama's to get so many rave reviews.  Only goes to
 show just how useful a Black Mexican can really be.


Subj:     Other Signs And Names:

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Top
Subj:     Finger Message (S841)
          From: Caroline Newton in 2013
 Source: www.wordsoverpixels.com/if-you-can-read-this-you-
.........are-awesome/dde3fb3af83f49398ee4653a3e6982e4.html
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 If you can read this you are amazing.  Can you find the two errors?
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Source1 is part of WordsOverPixels.com which has
hundreds of amazing, thoughtful, and funny signs.
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Top
Subj:     Church Signs In England
          From: samhutkins
..........in 2010 (S679b)
 The English have always had away with words!  Click
 'HERE' to see fourteen, funny, English church signs.
 

Top
Subj:     Logos Gone Terribly Wrong
          From: darrellvip
          in 2008 (S612c)
 These fourteen pictures show how signs can project
 the wrong message.  Click 'HERE' to see them.
 

Top
Subj:     Creative Advertising
          From: jbcary1
..........in 2007 (S541c)
 These twelve, impressive, outdoor ads can be
 viewed by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     A Very Stupid Sign (S593c)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2008
..........At: (Removed from buffaloschips.com)
 This internet page is NOT worth seeing.  But if you can't
 resist, you can see by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Obama Political Cartoon
          From: tom in 2008
          (S575b, in Polit-Supp)
 You can view this cute political cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Casa D'Ice Restaurant Signs
          From: ginafm in 2007 (S568b)
 Casa D'Ice Restaurant is 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh
 in North Versailles, PA.  The owner changes the signs when
 he gets another idea or just wants to make a political
 statement.  This guy is hardly "Politically Correct" and
 says things in a very direct manner (He is Italian, of
 course)!  Click 'HERE' to read his signs.

Top
Subj:     9 More Casa D'Ice Restaurant Signs (S573c)
          From: darrellvip in 2008
 Click 'HERE' to read nine more Casa D'Ice Restaurant Signs.
 

Top
Subj:     Old Marijuana Sign (S548b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult
          in 2007 (in Police-Supp)
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This is a cute Marijuana Danger Sign probably from before
 1960.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Learn To Fly Sign
          From: gordonschuk in 2007
..........(S528b in plane-supp)
 You can view this flying school sign by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Outstanding Logos And
.............What's Behind Them
..........in 2006 (S518c)
 You can view a page of interesting facts about
 six logos by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Oklahoma Truck Supply Sign
          From: SCOTCOB in 2007
..........(S538 in Truck)
 You can view this cute business sign by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Pacman Sign And Quote 
          in 2007 (S559b)
..........(in Games2-Supp)
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This is a very interesting quotation by the C.E.O. of
 Nintendo which has been made into a sign.  You can view
 it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Tequila and Salt
          From: gordonschuk in 2008
..........(S572b in Psych-Supp)
 This sign should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
 where one could read it every day.  You may not realize it,
 but it's 100% true.  Click 'HERE' to read the sign.
 

Top
Subj:     Nine Cute Signs (S755)
          From: tom in 2011
Drawing from Shutterstock.com...
 Click 'HERE' to see nine cute signs.
 

Top
Subj:     My Kind Of Place (S681b)
          From: gattica30 in 2010
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From: Joke-of-the-Day.com in 2007 (S540b)
 Sign on a bulletin board in a kindergarten in Toronto, Canada:
 "I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care."

 Sign in a Laundromat:
 AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:  PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
 CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

 Sign in a London department store:
 BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

 In an office:
 WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE
 BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

 Outside a farm:
 HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT YOURSELF

 In an office:
 AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND
 UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

 On a church door:
 THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN.  ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
 (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT.
 PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

 English sign in a German cafe:
 MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING

 Outside a secondhand shop:
 WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC.
 WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

 Sign outside a new town hall which was to be
 opened by the Prince of Wales:
 THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING.  IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED
 AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.

 Outside a photographer's studio:
 OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

 Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
  SLOW CATTLE CROSSING.  NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.

 Outside a disco:
 SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN EVERYONE WELCOME

 Sign warning of quicksand:
 QUICKSAND.  ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED.
 BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

 Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish:
 DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE
 MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO
 THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER

 Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
 ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR
 MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.

 Sign on motorway garage:
 PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
 YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

 Notice in health food shop window:
 CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

 Spotted in a safari park:
 ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

 Seen during a conference:
 FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T
 KNOW  IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

 Notice in a field:
 THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD  FOR FREE,
 BUT THE BULL CHARGES

 Message on a leaflet:
 IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL
 YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

 Sign on a repair shop door:
 WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON
 THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

 Sign at Norfolk farm gate:
 BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER
 AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

 Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
 TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

From: joke-of-the-day.com in 2003 (S328b)
 Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
   -- Anonymous
 

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...............................From A Little Bit of Everything
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