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Subj: Nerd Test 1b (Gz-m4) (Includes 0 jokes and articles) |
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Subj: Nerdity
Test, Vers. 5.x.cubed.minus.3.x.all.divided.by.2
From Joker's Wild assembple on 5 December, 1993
(see 'Neredity Test Part 1a' for first half of test)
Part B
Section 6: Leisure Time - Nerd Toys
306. Have you ever bought something
from Radio Shack?
307. Do you know what an oscilloscope
does?
308. Have you ever used an oscilloscope?
309. Do you own an oscilloscope?
310. Have you ever used a microscope?
311. Do you own a microscope?
312. Have you ever used a telescope?
313. ...not for
peering through someone's bedroom window?
314. Do you own a voltmeter?
315. Do you own any remote controlled
vehicles?
316. Do you own a CB radio?
317. Have you ever had an amateur
radio license?
318. Do you still have an amateur
radio license?
319. Have you ever had an extra-class
amateur radio license?
320. Have you ever used a chemistry
set?
321. ...since the
age of 13?
322. Have you ever used a rare earth
element?
323. Do you own a slinky?
324. Does a slinky make you think
about oscillations?
325. Do you own a Rubik's cube?
326. Are you able to solve Rubik's
Cube?
327. ...without
using the book?
328. ...in less
than two minutes?
329. Have you ever tried to calculate
the number of possible
permutations
a Rubik's Cube can have?
Section 7: Leisure Time - TV and Movies
330. Do you watch more than 4 hours
of TV on any given day
of the week?
331. Can you name more than 5 shows
on PBS? (inc.:A?E,
Discovery
Channel)
332. Have you ever watched a PBS documentary?
333. ...voluntarily?
334. ...in the last
three weeks?
335. Have you ever watched C-Span
for more than 5 minutes?
Have you ever watched a complete episode of...
336. Dr. Who?
337. Battlestar Galactica?
338. Space: 1999?
339. Starblazers? (cartoon about
the WWII carrier flying
through space)
Can you whistle, hum, sing or snap the theme songs to...
340. ...Gilligan's Island?
341. ...Flintstones?
342. ...The Brady Bunch?
343. ...The Jetson's?
344. ...The Addam's Family?
344. ...Dobbie Gillis?
346. ...I Dream of Genie?
347. Have you ever seen any of the
"Revenge of The Nerd"
movies more
than once?
348. Have you seen all of the Star
Wars movies?
349. ...in one 24
hour period?
350. Have you ever watched something
and stated "that's
physically
impossible" (due to Newton's laws, etc.)?
Section 8: Leisure Time - Books and Magazines
Have you ever read anything by...
351. ...Arthur C. Clarke?
352. ...Douglas Adams?
353. ...Isaac Asimov?
354. ...Robert H. Heinlein?
355. ...Piers Anthony?
356. ...J.R.R. Tolkein?
357. ...Stephen Hawkings?
359. ...Carl Sagan?
360. ...Richard Feynman? (e.g.
his lectures, etc.)
361. ...TSR Hobbies? (i.e. a
novel published by the D?D people)
361. Have you ever read -Cultural-Literacy-
or any other
book on "what
you, as an intelligent person, should know"?
362. Have you ever read -Innumeracy-
or any other book about
mathematics
made popular?
363. Do you read books on a daily
basis?
364. Have you finished a book in the
last week?
365. Have you finished more than one
book in the last week?
366. Have you ever bought a book of
crossword puzzles/
logic problems?
367. Do you read archaic computer
manuals for pleasure?
Do you have magazine subscriptions to...
368. ...Popular Mechanics?
369. ...Popular Science?
370. ...Omni?
371. ...Scientific America?
372. ...National Geographic? 373.
...Discover?
374. ...any computer oriented magazine?
(MacWorld,
PCWorld,
etc.)
375. ...Computer Gaming World or other
"video game" magazine?
376. ...any medical journals? (New
England Journal
of Medicine)
377. ...any science periodicals?
378. ...any comic book or "graphic
novel"?
(X-Men, Superman,
Heavy Metal)
Section 9: Star Trek
379. Can you name or discuss the plots
of more than 10 Star
Trek episodes?
380. Have you seen all of the Star
Trek films?
381. ...in one 48 hour period?
382. Do you refer to the various "Treks"
as "TOS" (The
Original
Series), "TNG" (The Next Generation) and
"DS9" (Deep
Space 9) or similar?
383. Have you ever argued with someone
over which
"Trek" is
better?
384. Have you ever argued over who
was a better commander
of the Enterprise?
385. Have you ever felt the urge to
learn the Klingon
language?
386. Have you ever been to a trek
convention?
387. ...in the last
six months?
388. Have you ever owned a pair of
Spock ears (Star Trek)?
389. ...and worn
them in public?
Section 10: Clothing and Apparel
390. Are your socks unmatched?
391. Do you own a digital watch?
392. ...that plays
music?
393. ...that's currently
set to chime on the hour?
394. ...that has
a calculator built in?
395. Do you own a pocket protector?
396. ...and are
you wearing it?
397. Do you have acne?
398. Do you have greasy hair?
399. ...without
realizing it?
400. Do you own any clothing with
scientific knowledge printed
on it? (e.g.
t-shirts with Maxwell's equations)
401. ...which you
still wear from time to time?
402. Have you ever worn a radiation
film badge?
403. ...while not
in the laboratory?
404. ...and described
what it was to someone,
who then backed away in fear?
405. Are your pants too short?
406. Does your underwear have your
name in it?
407. Is your outfit uncoordinated?
(have someone else
evaluate
this)
408. Have you ever worn a button-down
shirt and left the
tails hanging
out?
409. Have you ever bought similar
looking shirts/pants in
order to
save time when dressing because "everything
goes together"?
410. Do you wear glasses?
411. ...held together
by adhesives? (tape, glue, boogers)
412. Is your vision worse than 20/40?
(in either eye)
413. Is your vision worse than 20/80?
(in either eye)
414. Are you legally blind?
(in either eye)
(strange,
I don't recall writing a Braille edition...)
Section 11: Personality and Lifestyle
415. Have you ever slept an inverted
day? (sleep at dawn,
wake at dusk)
416. ...for more
than one day in a row?
417. Have you ever slept round the
clock? (24 continuous
hours in
bed)
Which of the following have you used to prevent sleep...
418. Caffeine? 419.
exercise? 420. Vivarin? 421. NoDoz?
422. something you made in chem. lab?
423. something you found in chem.
lab?
424. Have you worked for an engineering
or manufacturing firm?
425. ...in the last
3 months?
426. ...and gotten
credit at a school for doing so?
427. Have you worked in a research
lab?
428. ...and been
more interested in the work than the pay?
429. Have you ever visited a power
plant? (Hoover Dam, nuclear
plant, etc.)
430. ...and not
been bored?
431. Are you socially inept?
432. Was the last naked person you
saw a hi-res computer scan?
433. Do you talk to yourself?
434. ...when other
people are around?
435. Do you talk to imaginary people?
436. ...do they
talk back?
437. ...do they
seem to be more/less intelligent than you?
438. Do you have a tough time remembering
people's names?
439. ...but no trouble
with their numeric data? (phone#, SS#)
440. Have you ever played mathematical
games with other
numbers you
see to pass the time? (square/cube root,
prime factors
of phone#)
441. Do you see everyday situations
as representing
mathematical
concepts?
442. Do you look at quantitative factors
when participating
in social
events? (ex: choosing drinks by % alcohol
rather than
taste)
443. Mark this true if you did NOT
go to your senior prom.
444. Did you go stag to your Senior
Prom?
445. Have you ever found a grammatical
error in a published
book?
446. Have you ever quoted a piece
of literature from memory?
(poem, quote)
447. Have you ever eaten pizza cold?
448. ...do you like
it that way?
449. ...because
you're too lazy to reheat it?
450. Have you ever gotten pizza delivered
to the lab/office/
science building?
451. Is any leftover delivery food
currently residing in your
refrigerator?
452. ...that's been
there so long, you can't remember
ordering
it?
453. ...that's been
there so long, it's become mobile/
sentient?
454. Is any food in your refrigerator
moldy?
455. Have you ever commented on the
lack of intellectual
ability found
in a "Jeopardy" contestant?
456. Have you ever contemplated the
meaning of life/existence
of God?
457. ...while not
drunk?
458. ...while alone?
459. Have you ever thought about extra
dimensions/parallel
universes?
460. ...and discussed
their possibilities with others?
461. Have you come to any conclusions
about UFO's/life on
other planets?
462. ...and used
Time-Life's "Mysteries of the Unknown"
series as
a factual reference to support your claim?
463. Have you ever commented: "If
I drive fast enough at
the red light,
it'll appear green."
464. Have you ever found yourself
discussing one of the
popular scientific
theories of the day with someone
you just
met? (cold fusion)
465. ...did they
bring it up because they thought you
incapable
of talking about non-technical topics?
466. Have you ever taken part in an
experiment to prove/
disprove
one of the popular scientific theories of the
day? (cold
fusion, big bang)
467. Have you ever thought about reviving
the dead?
(Frankenstein)
468. ...for sexual
purposes?
469. ...and had
some degree of success?
470. ...but been
laughed at by a leading medical institution?
471. Have you ever given an inanimate
object a name?
(inc.: stuffed
animal)
472. Was the object
something electronic or mechanical?
473. Did the object
also have a "personality"?
474. Have you ever compared and contrasted
two scientists?
(Einstein
vs. Newton, etc.)
475. Have you ever argued with someone
else over which of
two scientists
was better?
476. Have you ever argued with someone
over which of two
computer
types/OS's is better? (Macintosh vs. IBM,
UNIX vs.
VMS)
477. Have you ever laughed out loud
at a joke written in
a serious
scientific paper? (Feynman's lectures,
textbook)
478. Has anyone ever called you a
geek/nerd?
479. ...in the last
two weeks?
480. ...for doing/saying
something you knew to be geeky?
481. Have you ever intentionally done
something that you
consider
geeky?
482. ...in the last
month?
483. ...today?
Section 12: The Nerd Test
484. Are you taking this test alone?
485. Are you currently reading this
test on
a computer
screen?
486. Are you planning to double-check
your answers
to this test?
487. Do you feel the need (or are
you currently using) a
calculator
to score the test?
488. Are you computing your score
in scientific notation?
489. Have you contemplated writing
a computer program that
would ask
and/or tabulate questions found on this test?
490. Are you currently scoring this
test in reverse?
(i.e. Assuming
100% nerd and deducting for each 'no'?)
491. Have you come across copies of
this test from two
separate
sources?
492. If you are still reading this
test, do you really need
a test score
to prove you are a nerd?
493. Is your nerdity test score higher
than your purity
test score?
494. Did you feel offended by any
of the questions
on this test?
495. Did you resort to lying in order
to raise your score?
496. Did you resort to lying in order
to lower your score?
497. Are you currently competing with
someone else for the
highest score
on this test (or were contemplating it)?
498. ...did you
come up second best and challenge them
to a rematch?
499. Have you asked for a technical
clarification of anything
on this test?
500. Have you ever thought of a question
that belongs on
this test? Please
send it to: jjb1@crux3.cit.cornell.edu
Please put your pencils down. That's it, hope you enjoyed.
To analyze your Nerdity Quotient,
divide your total number
of "yes/true" responses by the
total number of questions
and compare to this list.
Ranking:
0 - 20 Nerd-wannabe
21 - 30 Nerd-in-Training
31 - 35 Closet nerd
36 - 40 You dress like
people in Wal-Mart ads
41 - 45 You refuse to
live anywhere without pizza
delivery service
46 - 50 Your social life
needs some serious help
51 - 55 YOU need some
serious help
56 - 60 You are on first
name basis with Radio Shack
employees
61 - 65 Your best friend
is a microchip
66 - 70 Bill Gates and
E. Gary Gygax are your heroes
71 - 75 You own more surge
protectors than cooking utensils
76 - 80 "Revenge of the
Nerds" poster-child
81 - 85 Hoping to invent
Warp Field Theory or
transporter technology
86 - 90 Desperately seeking
cybernetic interface implanted
in your brain
91 - 99 Move over, Einstein
100
Hail, O Nerd Master, virgin sliderulers I
sacrifice unto you
This version compiled by yours
truly: J. Bennett, Cornell U.,
Ithaca, NY. Any questions or
comments? Drop me a line at
jjb1@crux3.cit.cornell.edu
Credits- (a.k.a. The "you-think-I'm-gonna-take-all-the-blame"
department) A special
big thanks to the following (in no
particular order):
Matt Warren :warren-matthew@cs.yale.edu
for multiple
watching of "Revenge
of the Nerds", underwear with name
in it as well as
the question on Jeopardy contestants
being stupid.
Rebecca Crowley :rcrowley@zso.dec.com
for pointing out
that a nerd not
only HAS arguments with his/her professor,
but WINS them too!
Laura Sachi :sach0001@student.tc.umn.edu
for pointing
out the nerd tendency
to simplify the situation, and
merely count the
questions on the test based on the
one's they can
answer 'no' to.
Eric Klis :klis0001@student.tc.umn.edu
for verifying
equations in textbooks,
using a calculator to tabulate
score, being offended
by questions found on the test,
and lying in order
to get a different score. (well, the
questions pertaining
to those activities anyway, I don't
know that he has
done any of them)
Carl Oppendahl: oppendahl@panix.com
for reminding me of the
"dark ages" of
computers when programmers used punch cards,
offering the category
of ham radio as a potential nerd
hobby, and questioning
the speed of a nerd's modem.
Michael Fitch: mjfitch@itchy.phy.duke.edu
who felt obligated
to raise the scores
of "those physics geeks" who have used
radiation film
badges, stolen radiation warning stickers
for use on their
notebooks, discussed cold fusion with
passing strangers
(and been involved in cold fusion testing),
integrated numerically,
and been placated by a well drawn
spherical harmonic.
anonymous : for competing for
the highest score on the test
and for challenging
to a rematch when done.
n40mp@relay.nswc.navy.mil :
knowledge of reverse polish
notation calculators
and favorite computing language (as
well as defending
it in argument).
Kevin MacCuish: internet@cad.uccb.ns.ca
: Thanks for sending
a whole lot of
potential questions including the self-help
tests, reading
computer manuals for fun, jealousy toward
someone due to
their computer, 8-track nerds, and everyday
situations as mathematical
concepts.
T.K. Baltimore: tkbalt@minerva.cis.yale.edu
: IBM vs. Mac and
the arguments over
which is better.
Jennifer C. Ginfrida : Jentrpt@bach.udl.edu
: for reminding me
of my childhood
days spent watching Starblazers.
Japanimation was
great, but I suspect that you may be the
only person known
to exist who can still sing the themesong
to that particular
show.
Josh Wojcik: Wojcik@umr.edu
: for solving Schroedinger's eqn.
"for fun".
Hey, if you've got the time and there's nothing
better to do, why
not?
Jennifer Deiros: mdeiros@cs.tufts.edu
: she's not the only one
who still owns
a Commodore 64 and still buys software for it.
Peter White : Peter.White@analog.com
: standardizing his OS's
through the use
of alias and batch commands, gif file
wallpaper and drinking
by % alcohol rather than by taste.
Mike Owsiany : Mowsiany@ecs.umass.edu
: applying to colleges
just to see if
you can get in.
Rnewell@pomona.claremont.edu
: "TNG" vs. "TOS" for the trekker
nerds.
Gary P. Chimes : gpchimes@students.wise.edu
: who scores the
test in scientific
notation, argues over who was better,
Einstein or Feynman
and isn't afraid to laugh out loud
while reading Feynman's
lectures.
Peter Rabinas : peter.j.rabinas.1@nd.edu
: for pointing out
that only a nerd
would spend time taking a test to see if
he was a nerd.
Harry Surden : Has2@cornell.edu
: who not only has the dubious
distinction of
being the first person from my own site
unknown to me to
offer input, but has also lost sleep over
computer games,
subscribes to Computer Gaming World. Naked
people and hi-res
computer scan is also one of his (all of
which should lead
you to conclude that Ithaca really needs
a better social
environment) I'd like to continue to thank
these people for
contributing to the older versions of the
nerdity test (see
lower version numbers for specifics):
unknown: RMG3@psuvm.psu.edu,
Rahul Verma: RV0S+@andrew.cmu.edu,
Thomas Marlowe: KYRIE@coos.dartmouth.edu,
Kiet H Tran: KHT@kepler.unh.edu,
Cynthia Pettit: Pettit@cs.unc.edu,
Andrew: CS1122@snowhite.cis.uoguelph.ca,
Susan Schneck: schneck@gibbs.oit.unc.edu,
Hal J. Burch: HBURCH@sleepy.ossm.edu,
Carl Mueller: mueller@cs.unc.edu,
Andrew Bell: bell@cs.unc.edu,
And a big thanks to the "Post-Prelim/Problem
Set Beer and
Wine Crew"
THANK YOU ALL!!
For additional information or
a copy of the current version,
send me e-mail to the above
address. IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE
A CONTRIBUTION please send me
the questions you feel
appropriate (please, just the
questions, NOT the entire test)
as well as how you'd like to
be referred to in the credits.
History:
In the beginning there was a
large, dense ball of matter at
the center of the universe.
For reasons unknown and beyond
the scope of this course, this
mass exploded, spewing matter
outward. Eventually (derivation
skipped, but shown
explicitly in the recommended
readings) everything cooled
down, life developed and someone,
somewhere created...
No version number : containing
the original 100 questions
from which the following is
all derived. Origin unknown.
Format rough and crude and showing
obvious derivation from the purity test.
version 2.0 : fabled and never
seen by this author.
version 2.1 : the first such
version 2.1 (both were created
independently);
no data available and may be mere rumor.
version 2.1.pi^2 : Rumored to
exist somewhere. This author
saw a copy of it
once, but has since lost it somewhere
on his desktop...
Some of its was utilized in the
creation of version
3.1415
version 2.1 : (3-12-92)
Prequel to the current edition.
Essentially the
100 question version reformatted, made
user-friendly and
expanded to 200 questions.
version 3.1415 : (2-8-93)
a further evolution of V.2.1.
It contains 300
questions and was somewhat reworked and
rewritten.
version 4.thirds.pi.r.cubed
(3-21-93) Originally this was
supposed to be
the 3.1415 version with 100 ("have you
done it recently")
questions added in order to normalize
the test.
Some testing revealed this to be largely
unnecessary and
so much exterior input was received that
a 400 question
version based on existing questions allowed
this version to
be released.
version 5.x.cubed.minus.3.x.all.divided.by.2
(12-5-93)
100 new questions,
most of which came from people's
comments to earlier
versions of the test now in
circulation long
enough to generate sizable response.
Notable changes include reformatting
and reorganizing the
questions into
more categories as well as the addition
of the "ranking"
section. Some attempts were made at
steering the question
wording away from the "serious"
and toward the
"humorous". For those wondering about
the version number,
it represents the third Legendre
polynomial; sorry,
but there just aren't all that many
nerdy numbers starting
with 5.
General Information
In two years of compiling this
in the remoteness of upstate
New York, responses
have come from as far east as the UK
and as far west
as Singapore. If you are interested,
both non-North
Americans state that the test isn't
universal.
They both complained that many questions
were culturally
biased and others just didn't apply.
If I were writing
this for sociological impact rather
than for fun I
suppose I would be upset by this news.
Roughly 2/3 of the responses
I get are from educational
institutions.
I assume distribution correlates roughly
along those lines
too, but have no way of knowing for
sure. I get
roughly 3 or 4 responses a week.
The highest reported score is
83% and lowest is 15%. My
own score when
last I checked was roughly 81% but of
course I'm obviously
skewed (in more ways than one).
If you can beat
one of the high scores, let me know
and I'll FTP you
a year's supply of Turtle Wax brand
screen-cleaner
(Lemon Scent!) as well as all the
adhesive, colored
disk labels you can eat.
\\\//
-(o o)-
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