Subj: Cute Tests1 (Gz)
(Includes 19 jokes and articles)
Humor Warning
from
Animated GIF Finder
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Subj: Cute Tests1 (Gz) (Includes 19 jokes and articles) |
|
Humor Warning from Animated GIF Finder |
Also see ANAGRAM file - 'Box
Lunch Auction w/Anagram'
ANIMAL,OTHER - 'Professional
Competency Test'
APPLICATION - (See whole file)
BASKETBALL - 'Too
Big Of A House Test'
BIRD-DUCKS - 'Duck
Word Riddle'
BLONDE2 file - 'A Little Blonde
Test'
BODY PARTS - 'Body
Part Quiz'
BREAST-SUPP - 'Boobs, Butt,
And Shoulder Test'
CARS-SUPP - 'What
Type Of Sports Car Are You?'
CARTOON file - 'Cartoon
Character Test'
CHURCH file - 'Entrance
Exam For Heaven'
COLLEGE1 file- 'Lieing
To The Professor'
DRINKING_BR2 - 'The Beer
Quiz'
EBONICS file - 'Ebonics Test'
ELDERLY3 file- 'History
Exam'
......................-
'Age
Barometer'
......................-
'Official
Baby Boomer Qualifying Exam'
ELDERLY3-SUPP- 'The
Over 40 Test'
ELDERLY4 file- 'Life's
A Test - And You're Grades on A Curve'
FACTS3 file - 'History
Test'
FACTS4 file - 'True/False
Trivia Test From Texas'
......................-
'Phobia
Trivia...'
FOOD_ETC2 - 'Don't
Gross Out The World'
FOOTBALL file- 'College
Entrance Exam'
GAMES file - 'Bottom
Of The Sea'
GOLF1 file - 'Golf
Trivia Challenge'
HALLOWEEN - 'Halloween
Quiz'
HOSPITAL1 - 'Toughest
Time Of My Life'
JEWISH2 file - 'Jewish
Test'
JOB-STUFF - 'The
Dilemma'
JOB-STUFF-SUP- 'Foolish
Trivia'
......................-
'Smart
Marketing'
KIDS3 file - 'Baby
Quiz'
KIDS4 file - 'Crayon
Color Quiz'
MARRIAGE4 - 'The
Game Of Romance: How To Keep Score'
MATH1 file - 'Cajun
Math Test'
.........MATH3
file - 'Old Numbers'
......................-
'Modern
Living Math Test'
......................-
'High
School Math Proficiency Exam'
MATH4 file - 'PUZZLE
- Mind Reading Brain Teaser'
......................-.(contains
puzzles & problems)
MEN2 file - 'Rogue
Male Test'
MONKEY file - 'Monkey
Kissed'
MUSIC file - 'Music
Test Questions From Missouri'
NATIONAL2 - 'Independence
Day Quiz'
NATIONAL-SUPP- 'Landmark
Quiz'
NERD file - 'White
And Nerdy - Quiz'
OTHER-ANIMALS- 'Professional
Competency Test'
OTHER-OCCUP - 'Photographer's
Test In Florida'
PIG file - 'Personality
Test'
.........POLIT-BUSH
- 'The Presidential
Test'
POLIT-SUPP - 'QUIZ:
Test Your Candidate IQ'
PROGRAMMER - 'Quiz-Programmer
Or Serial Killer'
PSYCHOLOGY - 'Big
Red Button'
......................-
'Color
Quiz'
......................-
'Oreo
Personality Test'
......................-
'Find
The Head Test'
REDNECK3 file- 'Redneck
Engineering Exam'
REDNECK-SUPP - 'Are
You A Redneck Quiz'
SCHOOL3 file - 'Illinois
Teacher Tests'
SEX2 file - 'Sex
Quiz'
......................-
'Purity
Test'
......................-
'Purity
Test II'
SEX3 file - 'Sexual
Tension Quiz'
THO-LRN-SUPP - 'The
Real Friend Test'
THOUGHTS-QTS - 'Charles
Schultz's Philosophy'
TH-SILLY-SUPP- 'Trick
Questions & Answers'
TRAIN file - 'Switchman
Test For Train Yard'
TREES file - 'The
Tree Picture Test'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Unofficial IQ Test (S379)
From: igiggle on 5/4/2004 At: http://www.richstevens.com/flash/iq.swf |
 |
This test is a lot of fun and
well worth playing. You
can play at the source above,
or click 'HERE' for the
file version. I only got
an 8.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Polish Intelligence Test (S372b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 3/10/2004
Study each question carefully,
then choose the answer that
seems "most" correct (TRUE or
FALSE) and mark an "X" (just
like you sign your name) on
the appropriate line at the right.
1. A clitoris is a type of flower ____TRUE____FALSE
2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit ____TRUE____FALSE
3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird ____TRUE____FALSE
4. Vagina - a medical term to
describe heart trouble
____TRUE____FALSE
5. A menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels ____TRUE____FALSE
6. A G-string is a part of a violin ____TRUE____FALSE
7. Semen is another word for sailor ____TRUE____FALSE
8. Anus is the latin word for "yearly" ____TRUE____FALSE
9. Testicles are found on an octopus ____TRUE____FALSE
10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles ____TRUE____FALSE
11. Masturbate is used to catch a large fish ____TRUE____FALSE
12. Kotex is a radio station in Bryan, Tx ____TRUE____FALSE
13. Coitus is a musical instrument ____TRUE____FALSE
14. Fetus is a character on gunsmoke ____TRUE____FALSE
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute ____TRUE____FALSE
16. A condom is an apartment complex ____TRUE____FALSE
17. orgasm - accompanies the choir at church ____TRUE____FALSE
18. A diaphram is a drawing in geometry ____TRUE____FALSE
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle ____TRUE____FALSE
20. erection - when the Japanese
vote for their new
government____TRUE____FALSE
21. A lesbian is a person from the middle east ____TRUE____FALSE
22. Sodomy is a special kind
of fast-growing grass
____TRUE____FALSE
23. Pornography is the business
of making record albums
____TRUE____FALSE
24. Genitals are people of non-jewish faith ____TRUE____FALSE
25. Douch is the Italian word for "twelve" ____TRUE____FALSE
26. An enema is someone who is not your friend ____TRUE____FALSE
27. Ovaries are a french egg
dish made with cheese
____TRUE____FALSE
28. Scrotum is a small planet near Venus ____TRUE____FALSE
29. "Cock" is a bird that crows in the morning ____TRUE____FALSE
\\\//
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Subj: Puzzles
Of Names (S127, S153)
From: rlr29 on 7/6/99
Solve the puzzles by saying them
out loud, over and over,
faster and faster, repeating
the phrase, until you "hear"
the answer.
Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles
1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)
2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional
character)
3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)
4. MOW BEAD HICK (book)
5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)
6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)
7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)
8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)
9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV
show)
10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US
(person)
11. DOCKED HEARSE WHOSE (person)
12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS
HE (place)
13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN
(fictional character)
14. THESE HOUND DOVE MOO SICK
(movie)
15. BUCK SPUN HE (fictional
character)
Answers
1. Jacques Cousteau
2. Santa Claus
3. Michael Jordan
4. Moby Dick
5. Thomas Jefferson
6. Chiquita Banana
7. The Titanic
8. I love you
9. The Brady Bunch
10. Christopher Columbus
11. Doctor Seuss
12. The Milky Way Galaxy
13. Agent 007
14. The Sound of Music
15. Bugs Bunny
\\\//
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Subj: Trick
Question Test (S292, S475)
From: erinleigh1 on 9/2/2002
and
From: LABLaughsClean on 2/17/2006
Exercise of the brain is as important
as exercise of the
muscles. As we grow older,
it's important that we keep
mentally alert. The saying:
"If you don't use it, you
will lose it" also applies to
the brain, so.........
Below is a very private way
to gage your loss or non loss
of intelligence. Take
the following test presented here
and determine if you are losing
it or are a MENSA candidate.
OK, relax, clears your mind and....... begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If
you said "toast," then give up now
and go do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If
you said, "bread", go to question
2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said "milk", please do not
attempt the next question.
Your brain is obviously over
stressed and may even overheat.
It may be that you need to
content yourself with reading
something more appropriate such
as "Children's World."
If you said, "water" then proceed to
question three.
3. If a red house is made from
red bricks and a blue house
is made from blue bricks and
a pink house is made from pink
bricks and a black house is
made from black bricks, what is
a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made
from glass. If you said
"green bricks", what the heck
are you still doing here
reading these questions?????
Dang..... If you said
"glass", then go on to question
four.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane
is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany. If you will recall,
Germany at the time was
politically divided into West
Germany and East Germany.
Anyway, during the flight, TWO
of the engines fail. The
pilot, realizing that the last
remaining engine is also
failing, decides on a crash
landing procedure. Unfortunately
the engine fails before he has
time and the plane crashes
smack in the middle of "no man's
land" between East Germany
and West Germany. Where
would you bury the survivors - East
Germany or West Germany or in
"no man's land"?
Answer: You don't, of course,
bury survivors. If you said
ANYTHING else, you are a real
dunce and you must NEVER try
to rescue anyone from a plane
crash. Your efforts would
not be appreciated. ...... If
you said, "Don't bury the
survivors" then proceed to the
next question.
5. If the hour hand on a clock
moves 1/60th of a degree
every minute then how many degrees
will the hour hand move
in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If
you said "360 degrees" or anything
other than "one degree", you
are to be congratulated on
getting this far, but you are
obviously out of your league.
Turn your pencil in and exit
the room. Everyone else
proceed to the final question.
6. Without using a calculator
- You are driving a bus from
London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people get
on the bus. In Reading,
six people get off the bus and
nine people get on. In
Swindon, two people get off and
four get on. In Cardiff, 11
people get off and 16 people
get on. In Swansea, three
people get off and five people
get on. In Carmathen,
six people get off and three get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the
bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for heaven sake!
It was YOU, you dummy. Read
the first line!!!
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Subj: Trick
Question Test II (S294, S520c)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/15/2002
and
From: gattica30 on 1/5/2007
Below are three questions. You
have to answer them instantly.
You can't take your time. Answer
all of them immediately and
then quickly scroll down to
check your responses.
Ready? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Scroll down for the first question...
First Question: You are participating
in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
Answer:
If you answer that you are first,
then you are wrong!
If you overtake the second person
and you take his place,
you are second!
To answer the second question,
don't take as much time as
you took for the first question.
Scroll down...
Second Question: If you overtake
the last person,
then you are...?
Answer:
If you answered that you are
second to last, then you
are wrong again. Tell
me, how can you overtake the
LAST person?! You're not
very good at this are you?
Third Question: Very tricky math!
Note: This must be done in your
head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil
or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. Add another
1000. Now add 20. Now add
another 1000. Now add
10.
What is the total?
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with
your calculator! The
decimal sequence confuses most
peoples brains, which
always jumps to the highest
decimals (100's instead of 10's).
\\\//
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Subj: Mental
Flexibility Test (S65, S521)
From: auntieg on 98-04-28
(Click 'HERE' to do the Mensa version
and 'HERE' for second file version)
This test does not necessarily
measure your intelligence
quotient (IQ) with words and
certainly not your mathematical
ability. It will however,
give you some gauge of your
mental flexibility and creativity.
In the many years since this
test was developed, few people
have been able to solve more
than half of the items on the
first try. Many however,
have reported getting the answers
long after the test had been
set aside, particularly at
unexpected moments when their
minds were relaxed. Take
this as a personal challenge!
There are no jokes or tricks.
The items are all well known,
like the following example:
EXAMPLE: 12 - M in a Y
ANSWER: 12 Months in a Year
26 - L of the A 7 - W of the W 1,001 - A N
12 - S of the Z 9 - P in the S S 88 - K on a P
13 - S on the A F 32 - D F at which W F 18 - H on a G C
90 - D in a R A 200 - D for P G in M 8 - S on a S S
3 - B M (S H T R) 4 - Q in a G 24 - H in a D
1 - W on a U 5 - D in a Z C 57 - H V
11 - P on a F T 29 - D in F in a L Y 12 - K of the R T
3 - P for a F G in F 20 - Y that R V W S 101 - D
60 - S in a M 7 - H of R
54 - C in a D (with two J's) 187,000 - M per S is the S of L
1,000 - W that a P is W 40 - D and N of the G F
25,000 - M around the E
100 - T a S L strikes the E
The Answers
26 - L of the A 7 - W of the
W 1,001 - A N
Letters, Alphabet Wonders, World
Arabian Nights
12 - S of the Z 9 - P in the
S S 88 - K on a P
Signs, Zodiac Planets,
Solar System Keys, Piano
13 - S on the A F 32 - D F at
which W F 18 - H on a G C
Stripes, American Flag Deg.
F, Water Freezes Holes, Golf Course
90 - D in a R A 200 - D for
P G in M 8 - S on a S S
Deg., Right Angle $, Passing
Go, Monop. Sides, Stop Sign
3 - B M (S H T R) 4 - Q in a
G 24 - H in a D
Blind Mice (See How..) Quarts,
Gallon Hour, Day
1 - W on a U 5 - D in
a Z C 57 - H V
Wheels, Unicycle Digits, Zip
Code Heinz Variety
11 - P on a F T 29 - D in F
in a L Y 12 - K of the R T
People, Football Team Days,
February, Leap Yr Knights, Round Table
3 - P for a F G in F 20 - Y
that R V W S 101 - D
Points, Field Gl, Ftbl Years,
Rip VanWinkle Slpt Dalmatians
60 - S in a M 7 - H of
R
Seconds, Minute Hills, Rome
54 - C in a D (with two J's)
187,000 - M per S is the S of L
Cards, Deck, Joker Miles,
Second, Speed, Light
1,000 - W that a P is W 40 -
D and N of the G F
Words, Picture, Worth
Days, Night, Great Flood
25,000 - M around the E 100
- T a S L strikes the E
Miles, Earth Times,
Second, Earth
\\\//
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Subj: Get
Your Mind Out Of The Gutter Test (S55)
From: cohen#il on 98-02-18
Be careful! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER
1). What is a four-letter word
that ends in k
and
means the same as intercourse?
2). What is it that a cow has
four of and a woman has only
two
of?
3). What can you find in a
man's pants that is about six
inches
long, has a head on it, and that women love so
much
that they often blow it?
4). What word starts with f
and ends with u-c-k?
5). Name five words that are
each four letters long,
end
in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?
6). What does a dog do that
you can step into?
7). What four letter word begins
with f and ends with k,
and
if you can't get one you can use your hands?
8). What is hard, six inches
long, has two nuts, and can
make
a girl fat?
9). What four-letter word ends
in i-t
and
is found on the bottom of birdcages?
10). What is it that all men
have one of; it's longer on
some
men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and
a man
gives it to his wife after they're married?
ANSWERS:
1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt)
6. (pants)
7. (fork)
8. (Almond Joy candy bar)
9. (grit)
10. (last name)
\\\//
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Subj: Get
Your Mind Out Of The Gutter Test II (S400)
From: JokesUncut on 9/13/2004
Instructions: For each answer,
you will have three clues.
Try to determine what the object
or thing is that is being
described. For every correct
answer, give yourself two
points, for every incorrect
answer deduct two points.
If you score over 21 points,
you are classed as having a
great sex experience.
If you score between 14 points and
21 points, you are in need of
more love. If you score less
than 14 points and are female...
send address and photos!
You may begin ... now!
CLUES
1. I am a protrusion that
comes in many sizes. When I'm
not
well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
2. I'm spread before I'm
eaten. Your tongue gets me off.
People
sometimes lick my nuts.
3. I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm
called a big swinger.
4. Over 1,000 people went
down on me. I wasn't maiden for
long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
5. You stick your poles
inside me. You tie me down to get
me
up. I get wet before you do.
6. When I go in, I can
produce pain. I cause you to spit,
and
ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.
7. A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're
bored.
The best man always has me first.
8. All day long, it's
in and out. I discharge loads from
my
shaft. Both men and women go down on me.
9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You like to blow me.
10. If I miss, I hit your
bush. It's my job to stuff your
box.
When I come, it's news.
11. I offer protection.
I get the finger ten times. You
use
your fingers to get me off.
12. I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates. I come with
a quiver.
13. My business is done
in briefs. I am a cunning
linguist.
I plead and plead for it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANSWERS
1. Nose
2. Peanut Butter
3. A Crane
4. The Titanic
5. A Tent
6. A Dentist
7. A Wedding Ring
8. An Elevator
9. Chewing Gum
10. News Paper Boy
11. A Glove
12. An Arrow
13. An Attorney
\\\//
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Subj: Intriguing
Intelligence Test (S30, S604c)
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and
From: flovilla on 2/23/2006
Read this sentence:
 |
Drawing from the book
Optical Illusions, page 54 by Keith Kay Published by Sterking Publishing Company, Inc. 387 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016 |
Now count aloud
the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY
ONCE. Do
not go back and count them again. See below.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANSWER:
There are six F's
in the sentence. One with average
intelligence finds
three of them. If you spotted four,
you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn
up your nose at
most anybody. If you caught six, you
are a genius.
There is no catch.
Most people forget the OFs. The
human brain tends
to see them as "Vs" instead of "Fs."
\\\//
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Subj: A Cute
Test (S18)
..........From:
Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
Don't cheat. It's kind of interesting -- !!!
A man (M) and a lady (L) who
are very much in love, and
devoted to one another are separated
by a river with no way
of getting across to the other
side. On L's side of the
river, there is a boatman (B)
who is able to take her over
to the other side of the river
but refuses to do so unless
she pays him a price of $20,
twice his normal fare. L has
no money. Another man
(S) then tells L that he will giver
her $20 if she sleeps with him.
L agrees to do so and on
receiving the $20, pays B who
takes her over to the other
side of the river. She
is reunited with M and they are
very happy together. However,
a friend of M (F) finds out
what L did with S and immediately
tells M. On learning the
news, M finds L and ends things
with her, stating that he
wants nothing more to do with
her.
Your task is to rank these five
people, M, L, B, S, and F,
from best to worst (i.e., best
person to worst person).
Please rank them in the following
spaces before moving on.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Don't read any further until
you've finished the 1-5. If
you do, you'll miss the whole
point. When you do finish,
scroll down and read on.
The order which you've ranked
the five people is supposed
to represent the importance
that you place on different
things in your life. 1 being
the most important, and 5
being the least. The letters
stand for:
M-morality
S-sex
L-love
B-business
F-friends
\\\//
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Subj: Final
Exams Poem
from Joker's Wild on 04/10/97
Now I lay me down to study
I pray the Lord I won't go nutty
If I should fail to learn this
junk
I pray the Lord I will not flunk
But if I do, don't pity me at
all
Just lay my bones in the study
hall
Tell my teacher I did my best
Then pile my books upon my chest
Now I lay me down to rest
If I should die before I wake
That's one less test I'll have
to take
\\\//
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Subj: F I
N A L E X A M I N A T I O N
Name: _____________
Class: ____________
I pledge on my honor that during
this examination that I
have neither given nor received
assistance, and that
I have seen no dishonest work.
Signed___________________
INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question
carefully. Answer all
questions. Time Limit:
4 hours. YOU MAY BEGIN NOW.
FOREIGN AFFAIRS:
It has recently been suggested
(especially after Black Monday)
that only a foreign war can
restore America's lost national
consensus. Propose the
ideal opponent(s) for the US in such
a war, and how the conflict
might be engineered so that US
would seem not to be the aggressor
in the situation. Discuss
the pros and cons.
JURIS PRUDENCE:
In Part 2 of Shakespeare's "Henry
VI", Jack Cade, the leader
of the Populist revolt, proposes
that the first order of
business following a successful
coup d'e'tat could be to
"kill all the lawyers".
In light of the present populist
mood in the United States, assess
the utility and any
potential impact of such a policy
today.
Mathematics:
Give today's date, in metric.
LITERATURE
Compose an epic poem based on
the events of your own life as
you see them. Footnote
allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats,
Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology
and the Marx brothers.
Critique your poem with a full
discussion of its metrics.
LOGIC:
Using accepted methodology prove
all four of the following:
That the universe is infinite;
that truth is beauty; that
there is not a little person
who turns off the light in the
refrigerator when you close
the door, and that you are the
person taking this exam.
Now disprove all of the above.
Be specific; show all work.
COMPREHENSION:
Three minute time test.
Read everything before doing
anything. Put your name
in the upper right hand corner of
this page. Circle the
word name in sentence three. Sign
your name under the title of
this paper, after the title
write yes, yes, yes. Put an
X in the lower left hand corner
of this paper. Draw a
triangle around the X you just put
down. On the back of this
paper multiply 703x668. Loudly
call out your name when you
get to this point. If you think
you have followed directions
carefully to this point call
out "I have." Punch three
small holes in the top of this
paper. If you are the
first person to get this far, call
out "I am the first person to
this point, I am leading in
following directions." On the
reverse side of this paper
add 8950 and 9850. Put
a circle around your answer and put
a square around the circle.
Now that you have finished
reading carefully, do only sentence
two.
HISTORY
Describe the history of the
papacy from its origin to the
present day, concentrating especially,
but not exclusively,
on its social, political, economic,
religious, and philoso-
phical impact on Europe, Asia,
America, and Africa. Be
brief, concise, and specific.
MEDICINE
You have been provided with
a razor blade, a piece of gauze,
and a bottle of Scotch.
Remove your appendix. Do not
suture until your work has been
inspected. You have fifteen
minutes.
PUBLIC SPEAKING
2,500 riot-crazed aborigines
are storming the classroom.
Calm them. You may use
any ancient language except Latin
or Greek.
BIOLOGY
Create life. Estimate
the difference in subsequent human
culture if this form of life
had developed 50 million years
earlier, with special attention
to its probable effect on
the English parliamentary system.
Prove your thesis.
MUSIC
Write a piano concerto.
Orchestrate and perform it with a
flute and drum. You will
find a piano under your seat.
PSYCHOLOGY
Based on your judgments of their
works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree
of adjustment, and repressed
frustrations of each of the
following:
Alexander of Aprodisias,
Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea,
Hammurabi.
Support your evaluation with quotations
from each man's
work, making appropriate references.
It is not necessary
to translate.
SOCIOLOGY
Estimate the sociological problems
which might accompany
the end of the world.
Construct an experiment to test
your theory.
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE
Define Management. Define
Science. How do they relate?
Why? Create a generalized
algorithm to optimize all
managerial decisions.
Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50
terminals, have each terminal
activate your algorithm;
design the communications interface
and all necessary
control programs.
ENGINEERING
The disassembled parts of a
high-powered rifle have been
placed in a box on your desk.
You will also find an
instruction manual, printed
in Swahili. In ten minutes,
a hungry Bengal tiger will be
admitted to the room. Take
whatever action you feel appropriate.
Be prepared to
justify your decision.
ECONOMICS
Develop a realistic plan for
refinancing the national debt.
Trace the possible effects of
your plan in the following
areas: Cubism, the Donatist
controversy, the wave theory
of light. Outline a method
for preventing these effects.
Criticize this method from all
possible points of view.
Point out the deficiencies in
your point of view, as
demonstrated in your answer
to the last question.
POLITICAL SCIENCE
There is a red telephone on
the desk beside you. Start
World War III. Report
at length on its socio-political
effects, if any.
EPISTEMOLOGY
Take a position for or against
truth. Prove the validity
of your position.
PHYSICS
Explain the nature of matter.
Include in your answer an
evaluation of the impact of
the development of mathematics
on science.
PHILOSOPHY
Sketch the development of human
thought; estimate its
significance. Compare
with the development of any other
kind of thought.
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
Describe in detail. Be
objective and specific.
Extra Credit: Define the Universe. Give three examples.
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Subj: The
S.A.P
SELECTIONS FROM THE WEST VIRGINIA
SCHOLASTIC APTITUDE PREPARATORY
TEST (the S.A.P.)
ENGLISH
1. Which of the following is
the correct answer to this question?
a.
b. c. d. e. none of the above
2. ingot:bleak ::
ingot:_______
a. tepid
b. gold c. oak d. bolonga e. bleak
3. pork:algae ::
green:_______
a. six
b. five c. ten d. marble e. red
4. mugger:park ::
king:_______
a. castle
b. burger c. queen d. Jacuzzi e. bleak
READING COMPREHENSION
Read the following carefully and answer the questions below.
In addition to the obvious effects
of solar activity on the
upper atmosphere, some scientists
contend that it also
affects the weather. These
contentions, however, are for
the most part unconfirmed and
some are very dubious. Even
further afield, a British researcher
on epidemiology
claimed last year that "the
periods of world dominance of
successive major subtypes of
influenza A virus have
synchronized closely with the
periodicity of sunspots."
Correlations of biomedical phenomenon
with solar activity,
such as this one, are generally
not taken seriously by most
Western scientists. Many
researchers in the Soviet Union,
however, do believe in such
possibilites, including even a
correlation of sunspots with
outbreaks of plague-spreading
rodents in central Asia.
1. In what lanuage is the British
researcher speaking?
a. Japanese
b. Urdu c. Bengali d. British e. Media
2. The term "most Western" means
a. Hawaii
b. John Ford's longest film c. nothing d. correct
3. A conclusion that could be
drawn from this passage is
a. Russian scientists
are idiots and Russia is full of rats
b. The sun has
sunspots
c. Don't ask a
question of a British researcher if you
want an answer
d. all of the above
MATHEMATICS
1. Which of the following is
a number?
a. blue b.
Jacques Cousteau c. watermelon d. John Doe e. 5
2. If Juan is fourteen and weighs
150 pounds, and Grover is
nine and weighs
70 pounds, what is the probability that
Juan can get anything
he wants from Grover?
a. 0%
b. 100% c. a and b d. a only e. b only
3. Delbert McBumm wants to pawn
a hundred-dollar watch. The
pawnbroker gives
him eleven dollars for it and then sells
it for a hundred
and twenty-five. What was the relative
rate of mark-up
in the watch in relation to half of its
worth, if the worth
is calculated at three-quarters the
difference between
the pawnbrokers's offer and 78% of
Delbert's assessment
of the watch's value?
a. 100
b. 50 c. 75 d. 115 e. none of the above
/\50 6/\
5. Calculate the shaded area
6/ \__/ \2
of the figure at
the right.
/ 2 |
a. 0
b. 50% c. c only
\ /\ |
d. the answer is
a
9\ /7 \ |10
e. go back, it's
a
\/ 8\__|
6. Grant McSwine is a repairman.
If he tells Mr. White that
it will take him
about 10 hours to do a specific job, how
long will it really
take him?
a. six weeks
b. half an hour c. about $300 longer
d. not enough information
because the type of repair is
not indicated
QUANTITATIVE COMPARISON
In the following questions you
are asked to compare two
quantities. These quantities
may be equal, or one may be
bigger, or neither. On
your answer sheet choose a if b is
bigger, choose b if a and b
are equal, choose c if a is
bigger, choose d if neither
one is bigger, choose e if both
are bigger, choose f if the
answer cannot be determined
from the information given,
choose g if you have no idea.
a. 2
b. 15
a. the area of
a circle b. the area of a square
whose area is 10
whose area is 10
a. my dad
b. your dad
a. New York City
b. Limpid, Iowa
a. something
b. nothing
a. a mountain
b. a molehill
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Subj: Pop
Quiz (S39)
From TNKRTEACH on 97-04-14
(The movie version of this test is below titled
The
Unofficial IQ Test)
Here is a little test you might like to take.
20 Correct - Genius
17 Correct - Above Normal
15 Correct - Normal
8 Correct - Nincompoop
6 Correct - Moron
3 Correct - Idiot
****************** Questions ****************
1. Do they have a 4th of July
in England?
2. How many birthdays does
the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days;
how many have 28?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50
cents; the woman is the beggar's
sister, but
the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
5. Why can't a man living in
the USA be buried in Canada?
6. How many outs are there
in an inning?
7. Is it legal for a man in
California to
marry his
widow's sister? Why?
8. Two men play five games
of checkers. Each man wins the
same number
of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add
10. What is the answer?
10. A man builds a house rectangular
in shape. All sides
have southern
exposure. A big bear walks by, what color
is the bear?
Why?
11. If there are 3 apples and
you take away 2,
how many
do you have?
12. I have two US coins totaling
55 cents. One is not a
nickel.
What are the coins?
13. If you have only one match
and you walked into a room
where there
was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a
wood burning
stove, which one would you light first?
14. How far can a dog run into
the woods?
15. A doctor gives you three
pills telling you to take one
every half
hour. How long would the pills last?
16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and
all but 9 die.
How many
are left?
17. How many animals of each
sex did Moses take on the ark?
18. A clerk in the butcher shop
is 5' 10'' tall.
What does
he weigh?
19. How many two cent stamps
are there in a dozen?
20. What was the President's
name in 1950?
****************** Answers ****************
1. Yes
2. One
3. All of them (12)
4. The beggar is her sister.
5. He can't be buried if he
isn't dead.
6. 6
7. No - because he is dead.
8. They aren't playing each
other.
9. 70
10. White. The house is
at the North Pole so
it is a polar
bear.
11. 2
12. 50 cent piece and a nickel.
(one is a nickel,
the other
is not)
13. The match.
14. Half way. Then he
is running out of the woods.
15. 1 Hour
16. 9
17. None - Noah took them on
the ark, not Moses.
18. Meat
19. 12
20. Same as it is now.
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Subj: Cute
Exam Questions
1.
The story around Harvard was
that there was a graduate
Math course whose final always
consisted of
"Make up an appropriate final
exam for this course and
answer it. You will be
graded on both parts."
Then one year, a student answered as follows:
The exam is: "Make up an appropriate
final exam for this
course and answer it.
You will be graded on both parts."
The answer is: "Make up an appropriate
final exam for this
course and answer it.
You will be graded on both parts."
His reasoning was that since
that was the best exam the
professor could write, it certainly
ought to be good enough
for a student.
He got an A. The professor
specifically prohibited that
answer from then on.
2.
This is true, about a chemistry
professor at Idaho State
University. The professor
had the following as an extra
credit question on an exam:
An age-old question is "How many
angels can dance on the
head of a pin?"
Answer that question given the
following:
Each angel requires an area
equal to a circle with
a diameter the
size of a gold atom in which to dance.
The pin in question has a head
which is a circular plane
with a diameter
of 0.5 mm.
Make any other assumptions necessary
to solve the problem.
The professor was sorry to admit
that he had to give full
credit to the following answer:
I assume that angels do not exist.
The answer is 0.
3.
The following questions were
used by Dr.Adrian Melott,
Associate Professor of Physics
and Astronomy here at
the University of Kansas:
"I put two multiple choice questions
on my Physics 111
test, after the study of elementary
mechanics and gravity":
13. If you are standing on the
Moon, and holding a rock,
and you let it go, it will:
(a) float away
(b) float where
it is
(c) move sideways
(d) fall to the
ground
(e) none of the
above
25. When the Apollo astronauts
were on the Moon, they did not
fall off because:
(a) the Earth's
gravity extends to the Moon
(b) the Moon has
gravity
(c) they wore heavy
boots
(d) they had safety
ropes
(e) they had spiked
shoes
The response showed some interesting
patterns! The first
question was of average difficulty,
compared with the rest
of the test: 57% got it right.
The second question was
easier: 73% got it right.
We need more research to explain
how people got #25 right but
missed #13!
The second interesting point
is that these questions proved
to be excellent discriminators;
that is, success on these
two questions proved to be an
extremely good predictor of
overall success on the test.
On the first question, 92% of
those in the upper quarter of
the test score got it right;
only 20% of those in the bottom
quarter did. They generally
chose answers (a) or (b). On
the second question, 97% in
the upper quarter got it right
and 33% in the lower quarter
did. The big popular choice of
this group was (c)...33% chose
heavy boots, followed closely
by safety ropes at 27%.
A telling comment on the issue of teaching elementary mechanics.
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Subj: Word
Puzzles
1)
PhD
|
/ \
| |
\ /
|
PhD Para - Doc's (can draw ortho - doc's
as well)
2) hijklmno H to O, as in water
3) HiHoAg hi ho silver!!!
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Subj: Short
Testing Jokes
 |
Subj:
Urine Test (S520)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/2/2007 |
| Subj:
Find The Red Dot (S508b in Halloween)
From: darrell94590 on 10/16/2006 |
 |
Top
Subj: Coordination
Trick Or Test (S347)
From: KMacintyre on 9/26/2003
Can someone explain this?
While sitting at your desk make
clockwise circles with your
right foot.(don't let your foot
touch the floor)
While doing this, draw the number
"6" in the air with your
right hand.
Your foot will change direction.
From: Daemonic Funnies Page
I think animal testing is a terrible
idea; they get all nervous
and give the wrong answers.
-- A Bit of Fry and Laurie
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 |
Reassemble Smiley from
Smiliemania.da |