Subj: Banking And Money Supp (Gz)
(Includes 23 jokes and articles)
Dollar Sign from
Bellsnwhistles
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Subj: Banking And Money Supp (Gz) (Includes 23 jokes and articles) |
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Dollar Sign from Bellsnwhistles |
| Subj:
Big Lottery Winners (S589c)
From: darrellvip on 5/1/2008 |
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You can see this cute, short movie on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Inheriting
From Sickly Father (S521b)
From: allenbergman on 10/31/2006
When John found out he was going
to inherit a fortune on the
death of his sickly father,
he decided he needed a woman to
enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles
bar where he spotted the
most beautiful woman he had
ever seen. Her natural beauty
took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary
man," he said as he walked
up to her, but in just a week
or two, my father will die, and
I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
So impressed was the woman that
she went home with him that
evening and three days later
became his stepmother. Women
are so much smarter than men...
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Subj: Cancel
Your Credit Cards Before You Die (S489b)
From: auntiegah on 6/7/2006
I hope you all get a good laugh
from this but there is a truth
to it as well..........
Be sure and cancel your credit
cards before you die. This is
so priceless, and so easy to
see happening, customer service
being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and
Citibank billed her for February
and March for their annual
service charges on her credit
card, and then added late fees
and interest on the monthly
charge. The balance had been $0.00,
now is somewhere around $60.00.
A family member placed a call
to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never
closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will
they do when they find out she
is dead?"
Bank: "Either report her account
to the frauds division or report
her to the credit bureau, maybe
both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Bank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just
get what I was telling you, the part
about her being dead?"
Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never
closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number
is given) After they get
the fax:
Bank: "Our system just isn't
set-up for death. I don't know
what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you
figure it out, great! If not, you
could just keep billing her.
I don't think she will care."
Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Bank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial
Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot
Number 69."
Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "Well, What do
you do with dead people on your
planet?"
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Subj: Nobel
Peace Prize Winner Brings Hope (S508c)
By Holly Mullen of the Salt Lake Tribune
From: edapsmas on 10/15/2006
This is a true story, and NOT
a joke.
| This year's winner
for the Nober Peace Price
is Muhammad Yunus, Bangladeshi economist and humanitarian. Yunus, 66 shares the Nobel with the Grameen Bank, which he founded in a desperately poor village in Bangladesh in 1976. The concept of microlending ($50 to $100 U.S. currency per loan) fuels Grameen's |
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Picture from
Yahoo News |
In 30 years, the microlending
model has caught on in poor
neighborhoods in Chicago, Los
Angeles, and even with a group
of struggling Latino businesswomen
in Utah County. BYU
students have been schooled
in the concept by Marriott
School of Entrepreneurship Dean
Ned C. Hill and Warner
Woodworth, professor of social
entrepreneurship.
Yunus began his odyssey after
watching a woman named Sophia
weave a bamboo stool.
She told him she earned 2 cents a day.
She recounted how the women
in her village had to buy bamboo
from a trader who took the stools
to market at a price he
fixed. Yunus loaned Sophia
and 41 other women $27 of his
own to build a business.
And so it went.
Conventional wisdom held that
the poor are lazy, stupid and,
certainly, unreliable credit
risks. Yunus believed that
access to credit would build
the poorest person's self-worth.
In turn, the money would be
paid back. If it sounds like
rusty old socialism, hang on.
His genius lies in blending
concepts of various economic
models. The bank loans money
on an individual basis, but
only if the borrower joins a
group of four or more.
No one can be blood-related and
each must agree to help the
others succeed.
The loan repayment rate is nearly
perfect. According to the
Grameen Web site, 6.6 billion
entrepreneurs have borrowed
from the program. Ninety-four
percent of the bank belongs
to the borrowers; 97 percent
of them are women. The
government owns the remaining
6 percent. Borrowers operate
under rules they imposed on
themselves - a constitution, if
you will - meant to instill
social and economic discipline.
It's called "The Sixteen Decisions."
Those guiding principles might
strike the average wage-
earning American as quaint,
almost cute. But the rules are
life-affirming to the mostly
female borrowers (whom Yunus
observed pay their loans off
more quickly than men. They
also tended to spread their
prosperity among their entire
family, while men tended to
spend it on themselves).
Among the Sixteen Decisions:
"Prosperity we shall bring to
our families."
"We shall not live in dilapidated
houses. We shall repair
our houses
and work toward constructing new houses as
soon as possible."
"We shall not take dowry at
our sons' weddings, nor shall
we give any
dowry at our daughters' weddings."
"We shall build and use pit
latrines."
Yunus' last visit to Utah was
in July 2005. He networked
with BYU students and with Utah
members of RESULTS, a
worldwide grass-roots organization
determined to end
poverty and hunger.
"Yunus is changing the world,
and it started with one
small observation from a woman
weaving a stool," Leckman
said.
So there it is. We live in a
world where money too often
goes hand-in-hand with bloodshed,
fraud and conflict.
What a concept Muhammad Yunus
offered: That money can
also bring peace.
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Subj: Money
Facts (S448b)
From: gayleheckman on 8/14/2005
THE BUCK STOPS HERE…BUT WHY IS
A DOLLAR CALLED A BUCK?
Before the days of paper money,
Americans traded animal
skins, including deer and elk
bucks, for goods and services.
Hence the word "buck" to describe
money…and here are a few
other fun facts about money.
During the Civil War, the Bureau
of Engraving and Printing
was first called upon to print
paper notes in denominations
of 3 cents, 5 cents, 10 cents,
25 cents and 50 cents. The
reason for this is that people
hoarded coins for their
intrinsic metal value, which
created a drastic shortage.
These first bills, called greenbacks,
were used to pay Civil
War soldiers.
Martha Washington is the only
woman whose portrait has
appeared on a US currency note,
appearing on the face of
the $1 Silver Certificate of
1886 and 1891, and the back
of the $1 Silver Certificate
of 1896. There have not been
any women featured on US paper
currency in the entire 20th
century.
Why are US notes green? No one
is really sure. However, in
1929, when the Bureau of Engraving
and Printing began making
smaller size currency, green
was continued because pigment
of that color was readily available
in large quantities. The
color is relatively high in
its resistance to chemical and
physical changes, and green
has now been psychologically
identified with the strong and
stable credit of the US government.
The origin of the dollar sign
— $ — has various explanations.
The most widely accepted is
that it is the result of the
evolution of the Mexican or
Spanish "PS" symbol for pesos.
This theory, derived from a
study of old manuscripts, explains
that the S gradually came to
be written over the P, developing
a close equivalent to the $
mark. It was widely used even
before the adoption of the United
States Dollar in 1785.
Contrary to popular belief, the
automobile pictured on the
back of the $10 note is not
a Model T Ford. It is simply a
drawing by the person who designed
the bill.
The United States Secret Service
was originally formed in 1865
to combat counterfeit money.
At that time, as much as one-third
of all the money in the United
States was estimated to be
counterfeit. Currently,
about $250,000 in counterfeit money
still appears each day!
Did you know that a quarter has
119 grooves around the edge,
and a dime has 118? And do you
know the purpose of the ridges
on the edges of coins?
Without ridges, it is possible to
scrape metal off coins without
it being obvious. In the days
when coins were made of silver
or gold, a person could have
made a good, but illegal, living
from shaving coins and
selling the precious metal.
How long does money last?
The Federal Reserve System lists
that a $1 bill lasts about 22
months; $5 bills for 2 years;
$10 bills for 3 years; $20 bills
for 4 years…while $50 and
$100’s enjoy a relatively long
life of 9 years. Coins, on
the other hand, generally stay
in circulation around 30 years.
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Subj: Short
Banking-Supp Jokes
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Subj:
Pooh Comic Strip (S602c)
By Disney From: Creators.com on 7/23/2008 |
| Subj:
Where Bad Credit Hurts the Most (S599)
By Julie Sturgeon • Bankrate.com From: Money.AOL.com on 7/7/2008 |
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Subj:
The Moneylender (SZ589b)
From: ginafm on 4/30/2008 Black pebble from David-Louis.com and white pebble from Yusuke.homeip.net |
| Subj:
The New Bush Coins (S583b)
From: rfslick on 3/26/2008 Source: http://blip.tv/file/520347?ref=patrick.net |
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Top
Subj: Bank
Robber Shoots Witnesses (S580c)
From: Fischer-J on 3/1/2008
A guy robs a bank and takes
hostages. In the course of the
robbery his mask slips off.
He asks one of the hostages:
"Did you see my face?"
The hostage answers yes, and the
robber shoots him.
Then the robber turns to the
second hostage: "Did you see
my face?" The hostage
answers: "No, but my wife did .."
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Subj:
3M - Security Glass (S573b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/7/2008 |
| Subj:
Quarter Backs (S557)
by Sandy Wood and Kara Kovalchik From: jbcary1 on 9/20/2007 Source: http://mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php |
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Picture from
MentalFloss.com |
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Subj:
Money And Manure (S533c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 4/9/2007 |
| Subj:
Penny And Money Quizes (S482b)
From: AOL News on 4/22/2006 |
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Top
Subj: Currency
Exchange At Bank (S472c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/28/2006
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars
I needed to exchange, so
I went to the currency exchange
window at the local bank.
Short line... Just one person
in front of me, an Asian guy
who was trying to exchange yen
for dollars and he was a
little agitated. He asked the
teller, "Why it change?
Yesterday I get two hunat dolla
of yen - today I get hunat
eighty? Why it change?"
The teller says, "Fluctuations."
The Asian guy says,
"Fluc you white guys too!"
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Subj:
Piggy Bank - Game (S460b)
From: igiggle on 11/18/2005 |
| Subj:
Money Problems Sign (S450)
From: LABLaughsClean on 8/29/2005 |
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From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 2/19/2006
(S475b)
"Every crowd has a silver lining."
-- P.T. Barnum
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/24/2006
(S509b)
"What some people mistake for
the high cost of living is
really the cost of high living."
-- Doug Larson
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/17/2006
(S513b)
"I don't have a bank account,
because I don't know
my mother's maiden name."
-- Paula Poundstone
From: LABLaughsClean on 8/27/2007 (S554b)
There is nothing so comfortable
as money, but nothing
so defiling if it be come by
unworthily; nothing so
comfortable, but nothing so
noxious if the mind be
allowed to dwell upon it constantly.
If a man have
enough, let him spend it freely.
If he wants it, let
him earn it honestly.
-- Unknown
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/6/2007 (S559b)
Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended
a meeting in which
he was the shortest man present.
"Dr. Holmes," quipped
a friend, "I should think you'd
feel rather small among
us big fellows."
"I do," retorted Holmes. "I feel
like a dime among a lot
of pennies."
From:LABLaughsClean on 7/7/2008 (S600b
in Slogans)
If you want to know what a man
is really like, take notice
how he acts when he loses money.
-- New England proverb
From:LABLaughsClean on 7/16/2008 (S601b
in Tho-time-supp)
"Waste your money and you're
only out of money, but
waste your time and you've
lost part of your life."
-- Michael Leboeuf
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