cars1

Subj: Car1 Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 37 jokes and articles)

Short, cute, WMV movie. You can view it at the source above,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Driving Tips From Detroit (S470)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/31/2006

Driving Tips for our 2006 Superbowl Guests:

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's
    Di-troit, NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit
    then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the
    country Music hoe-down.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit
has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening
rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour
starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-
    ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off
    the starting line when the light turns green, count to five
    before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-
    traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting
    shot.

5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of
the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot and Cadieux also.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375,
I-696, The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life.
Just deal with it.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the
    posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh,
    and don't even think of allowing more than one car length
    between cars!

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit
is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that
reads "Keep honking, I'm reloading."

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone,
people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit.
I would suggest you duck.

13. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you
have a map.

17. The left turn is simple: If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of
a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then
make a right. NOW you have gone left.

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Subj:     Taking Your Wife Out (S390b)
          From: Imogenelumen on 7/14/2004

When I got home from work last night,
my wife demanded that I take her out
to some place expensive.
So I took her to the gas station.

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Subj:     New Driver (S120, S426b)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 5/20/99

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license.
The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the
car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the
first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat,
directly behind the newly minted driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery
after all those months of sitting in the front passenger
seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to
his father.

"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick
the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been
doing to me all these years."

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Subj:     Super Car And The Moped(S07, S499c)
..........From: ipkis on 97-07-03
      and From: gordonschuk on 8/12/2006

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car on the
market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most
expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light

An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old)
pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek,
shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya'
got there, sonny?"

The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a
million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why
does it cost so much?

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states
the cool dude proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside? "Sure,"
replies the owner.

So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks
around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says
"That's a pretty nice car...but I'll stick with my moped."

Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show
the old man just what his car can do. He floors it,
and within 6 seconds the speedometer reads 60 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It
seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what
it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something
whips by him, going much faster!!!!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari!"
the young man asks himself.

He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to
250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the
old man on the moped. Amazed that the moped could
pass his Ferrari he gives it some more gas and passes
the moped. He looks in his mirror and sees the old man
gaining on him again.

Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the
gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on
him again. The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing
he can do. Suddenly the moped plows into the back of his
Ferrari, demolishing the rear.

The young man jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is
still alive!!! He runs up to the mangled old man and says,
"Oh my goodness! Is there anything I can do for you?" The
old man whispers....

Unhook ...my suspenders from your side-view mirror."

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Subj:     Lady Farts While Buying Expensive Car (S351, S566)
          From: Imogenelumen on 10/17/2003

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership and browses
around. Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful
car and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends forward to feel the fine leather
upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence
escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks
around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a sales
person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back,
there standing next to her is a salesman. With a
pleasant smile he greets her, "Good day, Madame. How
may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting
as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and
asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, "Madame, I'm
very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it,
you are gonna shit when you hear the price."

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Subj:     Lady Buys An Expensive Car (S500b)
          From: ipkis on 97-06-16
      and From: auntiegah on 8/16/2006

This lady always wanted an expensive car -- a status symbol
to drive around and be seen in. She scrimps and saves, goes
to the dealer, and plops down several years income for a
brand new state-of-the-art, computer enhanced, kick-ass,
dream mobile.

She's driving off. Decides she wants some music and searches
for the radio. The dashboard looks like a control panel at
NASA. She fiddles with this button, that gizmo... jiggles
these and those, but finally gives up. Can't find the damned
thing.

Furious, she races back to the dealership and screams at the
salesman. Tells him they forgot to install the radio.

He assures her it's right there in front of her. It's hooked
into the onboard computer. All she has to do is tell it what
she wants. He demonstrates: "Classical", he says.

*click*

The car fills with the sounds of Paganini.

"Blues", he says, and *click* a B.B. King classic plays.

She drives off amazed. "Country", she says, and *click* a
Garth Brooks tune comes on. "Folk" *click* Joan Baez sings
about the night they drove ol' Dixie down. "New Age" *click*
Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on. She's so captivated by
this new toy that she isn't paying much attention to the
road. Another driver runs a light and cuts her off.

"ASSHOLE!!!" she screams.

*click*

"Good morning, everyone. You're listening to the Rush
Limbaugh Show"

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Subj:     Man Borrows $5000 From Bank (S19, S351)
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
      and From: RFSlick on 10/22/2003

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-
Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask
for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so
the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's
underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors,
and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That
will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the
loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started
to walk away.

"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I
found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would
you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in
Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?

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Subj:     Man Paints Porch (S19, S536b)
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
      and From: edbabcock on 4/28/2007

A guy out in California had an awful craving but who didn't
have a cent in his pockets. He tried to panhandle enough
for a bottle but people just ignored him. Desperate, he
started going door to door in Bel Air, offering to cut lawns,
take out trash, clean cellars - anything for a few bucks.
Doors were slammed in his face.

Finally, though, a man said, "OK, I need my porch painted.
I'll give you $20 for the job." The man provided three
gallons of green paint and a brush and added, "It's in the
back. Now, do a good job." The thirsty guy gushed, "You
can count on that." And, he headed toward the back with
the paint and brush. About an hour later, he was back at
the door, his clothes paint-spattered. He told his bene-
factor, "It's all done and I really did a good job. It's
all painted green now."

The guy handed him the 20 bucks and the drink-craving guy
headed for the nearest bar. Suddenly, he turned and yelled
back to the guy who wanted his porch painted: "Hey! By the
way, that's not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari."

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Subj:     Two Mercedes At A Stoplight (S30, S427b)
          From: humorlist-digest V1 #178 on 97-08-22

This L.A. guy bought a brand new Mercedes, and as luck
would have it, he pulls up to a stoplight next to a guy
with the same car.

They eyed each other and the other guy said, "You got a
phone in yours?"

"Yes, I've got a phone!"

"You got a TV?"

"Yes, I've got a TV!"

"You got a bed in yours?"

"A bed? No," (dejectedly).

The light changed and they took off. This got to working
on the guy. He thought he had everything. So, he turns
around and drives straight to the dealership and tells
them he wants a bed put in.

They tell him that Mercedes don't come with beds, but the
man was adamant and demanded a bed be installed. Finally,
they said they'd figure out a way. The guy picks up his
car and for the next two weeks drives all over L.A.
looking for that guy to show him that he had a bed, too.

He finally spots the car in a parking lot and pulls in
beside it. He gets out and knocks on the window. No
answer. He knocks again. No answer. He starts to walk
away when the window rolls slowly down a bit and the
guy growls, "What do you want?"

He says, "I got a bed in my car!"

The guy replies, "You got me out of the shower just to
tell me that?"

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Subj:     Greenberg Brothers Invern AC (S59, S530b)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #208 on 97-11-08
      and From: darrell94590 on 3/12/2007

It was a sweltering August day when the Greenberg brothers
entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan offices of the notoriously
anti-Semitic car-maker, Henry Ford.

"Mr. Ford," announced Hyman Greenberg, the eldest of the
three, "we have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize
the automobile industry."

Ford looked skeptical, but their threats to offer it to the
competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to
demonstrate it to you in person." After a little cajoling,
they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black
car that was parked in front of the building.

Norman Greenberg, the middle brother, opened the door of the
car. "Please step inside Mr. Ford."

"What!" shouted the tycoon, "are you crazy? It must be two
hundred degrees in that car!"

"It is," smiled the youngest brother, Max, "but sit down,
Mr. Ford, and push the white button."

Intrigued, Ford pushed the button. All of a sudden a whoosh
of freezing air started blowing from vents all around the
car, and within seconds the automobile was not only comfort-
able, it was quite cool!

"This is amazing!" exclaimed Ford. "How much do you want
for the patent?"

Norman spoke up. "The price is one million dollars." Then
he paused, "And there is something else. We want the name
'Greenberg Brothers Air Conditioning' to be stamped right
next to the Ford logo."

"Money is no problem," retorted Ford, "but no way will I
have a 'Jew-name' next to my logo on my cars!"

They haggled back and forth for a while and finally they
settled. One and one half million dollars, and the name
Greenberg would be left off. However, the first names of
the Greenberg brothers would be forever emblazoned upon
the console of every Ford air conditioning system.

And that is why today, whenever you enter a Ford vehicle
you will see those three names clearly defined on the
air-conditioning control panel:

HI NORM MAX

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Subj:     18 Gas Price Cartoons (S450)
          From: RFSlick
          on 8/30/2005

You can view these eleven, cute cartoons on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Car Has Flat Tire By Mental Hospital
          From: Octagon999 on 97-12-12

Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his
left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the
tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in
which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all
knocked into a nearby storm drain.

Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call
a cab when he hears a shout from behing the hospital fence,
where one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing.

"Hey, pal! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of
the other three wheels? That'll hold your tires on until
you can get to a garage or something."

Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but
realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire
without incident. Before he leaves, he calls back to the
patient. "You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why
do they have you in there?"

The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy,
not because I'm stupid."

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Subj:     Mini Van Towed By A Jaguar
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/29/97

A man was driving along in his mini and it broke down. He
was parked on the verge trying fix it when a Jaguar pulled
over in front of him and the man offered to help. After a
few minutes they obviously weren't going to get it going
so the Jaguar driver offered him a tow. They hitched up
the mini and agreed that, if he was going too fast, the
mini would blow his horn and flash his lights to get him
to slow down and off they set.

At the next traffic lights a Ferrari pulls up beside the
Jaguar and revs his engine provocatively a few times.
When the lights turn to amber the Ferrari and the Jaguar
burn rubber and are both soon doing 140 mph.

After a while they go through a speed trap and the
policeman, realising that he will need help to catch
them, radios in for assistance saying: "You won't believe
what I saw; a Ferrari and a Jaguar doing 140mph side by
side and a mini behind them flashing his lights and
blowing his horn trying to get past".

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Subj:     Did You Look Under The Hood? (S49)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/29/97

So my car broke down yesterday. Naturally, I did what any
other person does in that situation -- I looked under the
hood. Not that would ever really do any good, you under-
stand. Even if I could figure out what was wrong, even
if the problem were blatantly obvious, like little green
space aliens ripping out cables from the motor, it's not
like I could do anything about it. ("Hey, we got any of
that anti-space-alien fluid in the trunk?")

We don't like to admit to ourselves that we know nothing
about a particular topic -- that instead of going out and
reading a book on automobile maintenance, we sat in front
of the TV eating Cheetos and watching The Nashville
Network's 24-hour Hee Haw Marathon. So we look under the
hood. It's a Great American pasttime, performed by Great
American citizens... usually on Great Broken American cars.

I felt like I had to at least give it a shot -- so I
checked the transmission fluid. It was green, which I
figured meant "Go," so I concluded that wasn't the problem.

My next step was to take it to the garage where I engaged
in another Great American pasttime of pretending I knew
what the hell the mechanic was talking about. Mechanics
know that if you have no idea what they're talking about,
they can pretty much charge you whatever they feel like,
and you have to pretty much go along with it. So you try
to convince them that you know more about cars than they
do. (Of course, if you did, you probably wouldn't have it
in the garage in the first place, but I digress...)

Mechanic: Hmmm... could be the spark wires.

Me: Yeah, they never looked too good to me.

Mechanic: Or maybe the coil pack.

Me: I hear they can cause problems.

Mechanic: (Getting suspicious) Do you know what a coil pack does?

Me: Umm... pack the coils?

Mechanic: Uh-huh... right. Or it could be the... fallopian tubes.

Me: Yeah, right. Could be.

Mechanic: Or a busted bible belt.

Me: Sure. I thought it was sounding funny.

Mechanic: (Having fun now) Or maybe your rotweiler springs
have created a bedpan in the space-time continuum.

Me: That's what I thought, too. So, how much will it cost to fix?

Mechanic: $87,000.

Me: Uhh... okay.

I'm pretty much at the mercy of these guys and without a car.
Of course, up until now, San Francisco had been enjoying an
unprecedented spell of good weather. Since then, it's rained
continuously. I'm sure that's more than a coincidence. Know
those third-world countries where people are starving because
they haven't had rain since Kevin Costner was in a good movie?
I should just bring my car over there and have it break down.
As long as they agree to pay the mechanic's bill.

Naturally, this is coming at the worst possible time of the
year, because I still have to Christmas shop for people.
Luckily, I'm within walking distance of a lot of cool shops.
Unfortunately, they're all hip, trendy, semi-alternative
Haight Ashbury shops, which makes it really hard to get
stuff for my parents. ("Gosh, son, a 'Policeman are dickheads'
bumper sticker and a gift certificate for a free tattoo.
You're outta the will.")

Yeah, I live in Haight-Ashbury, which used to be a big old
hippie paradise back in the 60's. Now, on the corner of
Haight and Ashbury is a Gap. To me, this kind of symbolizes
everything that happened to the 60's. Remember the whole
hemp revolution? How you can make really cheap cloth and
paper and...I dunno... aluminum siding... out of hemp? But
of course, if you go to a store and actually try to purchase
some of this trendy "cheap" hemp clothing, it costs more
than most aircraft.

It's nice to see that in some ways, that revolutionary
spirit of the 60's still hasn't quite died. When I walk
down the street, there are always kids asking for change.
I tell them, "Sure! I'm willing to get up off my butt and
change this country for the better." Then they say some-
thing along the lines of, "You dumb-ass. I just want
money." Of course, there's no way I can help them out with
that. The mechanic took it all.

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Subj:     The Shotgun Rules, Vers. 1.1
          from THE GAG ROOM on 03/16/97

The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun
(the passenger seat) in an automobile. These rules are
definitive and binding.

Section I
The Basic Rules

1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the
    word "Shotgun" in a clear voice. This call must be
    heard and acknowledged by the driver. The other
    occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as
    long as the driver verifies the call.

2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the
vehicle are outside and on the way to said vehicle.

3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may
    only be called while walking toward the vehicle and
    only applies to the drive immediately forthcoming.
    Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle
    or still technically on the way to the first location.
    For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and
    call Shotgun for the return journey.

4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes.
The driver has the right to suspend or remove all
shotgun privileges from one or more persons.

Section II
Special Cases

These special exceptions to the rules above should be
considered in the order presented; the case listed first
will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it,
when applicable.

1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is
drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as
driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.

2. If the instance that the person who actually owns the
vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically
given Shotgun, unless they decline.

3. In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, partner,
    or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany
    the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless
    they decline.

4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so
    ill during the course of the journey that the other
    occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the
    ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate
    use of the window.

5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to
    a given location and this person is not the driver, then
    as the designated navigator for the group they automat-
    ically get Shotgun, unless they decline.

6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide
    or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the
    driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic
    misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers
    may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a
    three hour trip with him crammed in the back.

Section III
The Survival of the Fittest Rule

1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival
    of the Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun.
    In this case all rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and
    the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by
    force.

2. The driver must announce the institution of the Survival
    of the Fittest Rule with reasonable warning to all
    passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood
    lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.

Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability.

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Subj:     How To Identify Where A Driver Is From (S133)
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-06-28
      and From: KMacinty on 8/12/99

Moved to 'Driver Identification By State' in CARS3

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Subj:     BMW's Windows Car (S267b)
          From: jerry on 3/12/2002

News Item: Microsoft announces that BMW's new 7-series
sedan will use Windows CE software to run its in-dash
control computer. Other automakers will follow suit.

The Top 15 Features of a Windows Car

? Damage from frequent crashes greatly limited by
   agonizingly slow speeds.
? MS-AAA mysteriously knows where you are and what you
   ran into before you even call.
? Lets you e-mail viruses to jerks who cut you off in
   traffic.
? Sure, you *own* the car -- but your nerdy 17-year-old
   nephew is the only one who can figure out how to drive it.
? Engine trouble? Just execute a Ctrl+Alt+Honk and the
   car repairs itself.
? "Crowby," the annoying, animated crowbar, keeps changing
   the radio station.
? It doesn't matter how good it is, those techno-snobs
   with the free Linux cars always look down on you.
? It's a royal pain to try to pull into a non-Microsoft
   gas station.
? Now only takes THREE MINUTES to start.
? Whenever you leave your driveway, the little paperclip
   guy jumps out of the glove box and says, "It looks like
   you're going to work! Can I help?"
? You have to reinstall the entire engine once a month.
? After putting it in park, it shakes and rattles for a
   couple minutes before you finally get the signal that
   it's safe to turn off the engine.
? Despite reassurances of improved security from Microsoft,
   hackers can easily gain entry by simply using the door
   handles.
? You can't lend it to someone else; they have to purchase
   their own.
? You have to pull to the side of the road, turn off and
   restart the engine whenever you change CD's.

From Top5.com

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Subj:     If Microsoft Built Cars (S204)
          From: Octagon999 on 97-11-01
      and From: RFSlick on 11/06/2000

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar
cars that got 1000 mi/gal."

According to Microsoft, if automotive technology had kept
pace with computer technology over the past few decades:

- You would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8

- Cars would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour

- Economy cars would weigh 30 pounds

- Would get a thousand miles to the gallon of gas

- And the sticker price of a new economy car would be less
than $50

In response to all this goading, General Motor responds, "Yes,
but would you really want to drive a car that crashes 4 times
a day?"

If Microsoft Built Cars:
- Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd
have to buy a new car

-   Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
     reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange
     reason, you'd just accept this and drive on

-   Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car
     to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to reinstall
     a new engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept
     this too

-   You could only have one person in the car at a time,
     unless you bought a "Car95" or a "CarNT". But then you'd
     have to buy more seats

-   Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
     was twice as fast, twice as easy to drive- but it would
     only run on 5 percent of the roads

- The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft
upgrades which would make their cars run much slower

- The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would
be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light

- New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt

- The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
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Subj:     Car Thefts
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/31/97

Car Thefts - from Alexander Forbes Communications Division,
South Africa

Although crime seems to be the best paid profession in
South Africa at the moment, it is still not as sophisticated
as in some of the other parts of the world.

A Gentleman based in Bogota, Columbia, tells the story of a
fellow American whose new Mercedes Benz was stolen off the
street. The next day, he received a phone call demanding a
$10,000 ransom. On the advice of his insurers, he paid up,
and the robbers duly left his car where he could find it.

The next day they phoned again, saying that because he had
paid so promptly, his car was "insured" against theft for
a full year. A week later, however, his Merc was gone
again. The same thieves phoned to demand $10,000. "But it's
not fair," protested the victim, "you stole my car before
and promised it wouldn't happen again for 12 months." After
first protesting that this was impossible, the caller
promised to check, and the victim could hear computer keys
over the phone. Finally, the caller was back on the line,
full of apologies, and told the victim where his Merc
could be found.

When he got there the American found not only his car, but
also a bottle of French Champagne on the front seat, as
well as a card apologizing for the mistake and the
inconvenience.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top

Subj: Why Your Mom Said Don't Pick Up Hitchhikers!
      From: darrell94590 (S457)
      on 10/25/2005

To view these six pictures on my web site click 'HERE'.

\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================

Smiley the race car driver from
Smiley_Central

.