Subj: Cartoon Character Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 39 jokes and articles)
Mouse Star from
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Subj: Cartoon Character Jokes (Gz) (Includes 39 jokes and articles) |
|
Mouse Star from PageWorks |
Also see CARS1 file - '11
Gas Price Cartoons'
FAIRY TALES - (see whole file)
FIREMEN file - 'Mickey's
Fire Brigand'
JOBS2 file - 'Dilbert's
Laws Of Work'
LISTS file - 'Top
Ten Rejected Dr. Seuss Books'
QUOTES2 file - 'Quoting Homer'
THOUGHTS-QUTS- 'Charles
Schultz's Philosophy'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Toon Crisis (S516 in Games2)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/4/2006 |
 |
This is the best shooting game
I have seen in years. It
is too cool. You can play
it at the source above, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: Cartoon
Character Test (S391b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/27/2004
Everyone has a personality of
a cartoon character. Have you
ever asked yourself what cartoon
character you most resemble?
Answer all the questions with
what describes you best, then
add up all your points at the
end and look for your results
1) Which one of the following
describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight
dinner
b) Fun/Theme Park
c) Painting in
the park
d) Rock concert
e) Going to the
movies
2) What is your favorite type
of music?
a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Country
e) Pop
3) What type of movies do you
prefer?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
4) Which one of these occupations
would you
choose, if you
only could choose one?
a) Waiter
b) Professional
Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Police
e) Cashier
5) What do you do with your spare
time?
a) Exercise
b) Read
c) Watch television
d) Listen to music
e) Sleep
6) Which one of the following
colors do you like best?
a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky Blue
d) Dark Blue
e) Red
7) What do you prefer to eat
right now?
a) Snow
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
8) What is your favorite Holiday?
a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year
d) Valentines Day
e) Thanksgiving
9) If you could go to one of
these places which
one would it be?
a) Paris
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
10) With which of the following
would you prefer
to spend time with
a) Someone Smart
b) Someone attractive
c) Someone who
likes to Party
d) Someone who
always has fun
e) Someone very
sentimental
Now add up your points and find
out the
answer you have been waiting
for!
1.) a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3
2.) a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3
3.) a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5
4.) a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1
5.) a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3
6.) a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4
7.) a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5
8.) a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5
9.) a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3
10.) a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4
(10-16 points) You are Garfield:
You are very comfortable,
and easy going and you definitely
know how to have fun but
sometimes you take it to an
extreme. You always know what
you are doing and you are always
in control of your life.
Others may not see things as
you do, but that doesn't mean
you always have to do what is
right. Try to remember your
happy spirit may hurt you or
others.
(18-26 points) You are Snoopy:
You are have fun and you are
very cool and popular. You always
know what's in and you
never are out of style.You are
good at knowing how to
satisfy everyone else.
You have probably disappeared for a
few days more than once but
you always come home. Being
married and having children
are important to you but only
after you have had your share
of fun times.
(22-28 points) You are Arnold: You
have lots of friends and
you are also popular always
willing to give advice and help
out a person in need.
You are very optimistic and you
always see the bright side of
things. Some good advice: try
not to be too much of a dreamer,
if you are you will have
many conflicts with life.
(29-34 points) You are Sponge Bob Square
Pants: You are the
classic person that everyone
loves. You are the best friend
anyone could ever want to have
and never want to lose. You
never cause harm to anyone and
they would never not understand
your feelings. Life is a journey
it's funny and calm for the
most part. Stay away from traitors
and jealous people ? then
you will be stress free.
(35-42 points) You are Charlie Brown:
you are tender, you fall
in love quickly but you are
also very serious about all
relationships. You are
a family person. You call your Mom
every Sunday. You have
many friends and may occasionally
forget a few birthdays. Don't
let your passion confuse you
with reality.
(43-50 points) You are Dexter: You
are smart and definitely a
thinker. Every situation
is fronted with a plan. You have a
brilliant mind. You demonstrate
very strong family principles.
Maintain a stable routine but
never ignore a bad situation
when it comes.
\\\//
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Subj: Donald
Duck and Minnie Mouse (S276, S461)
From: http://www.twistedhumor.com/
on December 27, 2000
(Also see 'A
Duck Walks Into A Drugstore' in BIRD-DUCKS)
Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse
were up in a hotel room and
decided that they wanted to
have sex. Well, the first
thing Minnie asks is, "Do you
have a condom?" Donald says
"No." Minnie tells Donald
that if he doesn't get a condom
that they can't have sex and
suggests to Donald that he go
buy a condom. She says
that maybe they sell them at the
front desk. Donald proceeds
to go downstairs and gets to
the front desk. He asks
the hotel clerk if they sell
condoms. The clerk says
"yes we do" and pulls one out
from under the desk and gives
it to Donald. The clerk
asks "Would you like me to put
that on your bill?" Donald
says "NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK
I AM, SOME KIND OF PERVERT?
\\\//
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Subj: Cartoon
Laws of Physics (S235b)
From: Laugh-A-Lot on 7/30/01
At: http://graceweb.org/Laugh-A-Lot!/Archives.html
Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended
in space will remain in space until
made aware of its
situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff,
expecting further pastureland.
He loiters in midair, soliloquizing
flippantly, until he
chances to look down.
At this point, the familiar principle
of 32 feet per second takes
over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion
will tend to remain in motion until
solid matter intervenes
suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or
in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon
characters are so absolute in
their momentum that only a
telephone pole or an outsize
boulder retards their forward
motion absolutely. Sir Isaac
Newton called this sudden
termination of motion the stooge's
surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing
through solid matter will leave a
perforation conforming
to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of
passage, this phenomenon is
the speciality of victims of
directed-pressure explosions
and of reckless cowards who
are so eager to escape that
they exit directly through the
wall of a house, leaving a
cookie-cutout-perfect hole.
The threat of skunks or
matrimony often catalyzes this
reaction.
Cartoon Law IV
The time required
for an object to fall twenty stories
is greater than
or equal to the time it takes for
whoever knocked
it off the ledge to spiral down twenty
flights to attempt
to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably
priceless, the attempt to
capture it inevitably unsuccessful.
Cartoon Law V
All principles
of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient
in most bodies for a shock
to propel them directly away
from the earth's surface. A
spooky noise or an adversary's
signature sound will
induce motion upward, usually
to the cradle of a
chandelier, a treetop, or the
crest of a flagpole. The
feet of a character who is running
or the wheels of a
speeding auto need never touch
the ground, especially
when in flight.
Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases,
objects can be in several places
at once.
This is particularly true of
tooth-and-claw fights, in
which a character's head may
be glimpsed emerging from
the cloud of altercation at
several places simultaneously.
This effect is common as well
among bodies that are
spinning or being throttled.
A `wacky' character has the
option of self-replication only
at manic high speeds and
may ricochet off walls to achieve
the velocity required.
Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies
can pass through solid walls painted to
resemble tunnel
entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency
has baffled generations,
but at least it is known that
whoever paints an entrance
on a wall's surface to trick
an opponent will be unable
to pursue him into this theoretical
space. The painter
is flattened against the wall
when he attempts to follow
into the painting.
This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.
Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement
of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more
deaths than the traditional
nine lives, might comfortably
afford. They can be decimated,
spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated,
spindled, or
disassembled, but they cannot
be destroyed. After a few
moments of blinking self pity,
they reinflate, elongate,
snap back, or solidify.
Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Cartoon Law IX
Everything falls
faster than an anvil.
Cartoon Law X
For every vengeance
there is an equal and opposite
revengeance.
This is the one law of animated
cartoon motion that also
applies to the physical world
at large. For that reason,
we need the relief of watching
it happen to a duck instead.
Cartoon Law Amendment A
A sharp object
will always propel a character upward.
When poked (usually in the buttocks)
with a sharp object
(usually a pin), a character will
defy gravity by shooting
straight up, with great velocity.
Cartoon Law Amendment B
The laws of object
permanence are nullified for
"cool" characters.
Characters who are intended to
be "cool" can make previously
nonexistent objects appear from
behind their backs at will.
For instance, the Road Runner
can materialize signs to
express himself without speaking.
Cartoon Law Amendment C
Explosive weapons
cannot cause fatal injuries.
They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.
Cartoon Law Amendment D
Gravity is transmitted
by slow-moving waves of large
wavelengths.
Their operation can be wittnessed
by observing the behavior
of a canine suspended over a
large vertical drop. Its feet
will begin to fall first, causing
its legs to stretch. As
the wave reaches its torso,
that part will begin to fall,
causing the neck to strech.
As the head begins to fall,
tension is released and the
canine will resume its regular
proportions until such time
as it strikes the ground.
Cartoon Law Amendment E
Dynamite is spontaneously
generated in "C-spaces"
(spaces in which
cartoon laws hold).
The process is analogous to steady-state
theories of the
universe which postulated that
the tensions involved in
maintaining a space would cause
the creation of hydrogen
from nothing. Dynamite quanta
are quite large (stick
sized) and unstable (lit).
Such quanta are attracted to
psychic forces generated by
feelings of distress in
"cool" characters (see Amendment
B, which may be a special
case of this law), who are able
to use said quanta to their
advantage. One may imagine
C-spaces where all matter and
energy result from primal masses
of dynamite exploding.
A big bang indeed.
\\\//
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Subj: Dilbert's
Words of Wisdom (S102)
From: ossama on 99-01-05
1. I can please only one person
per day. Today is not
your day.
Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially
like the whooshing sound
they make
as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with
you? How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but
your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back
on all this and plow into
a parked
car.
6. There are very few personal
problems that cannot be solved
through a
suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and
I'll tell you how to get
along without
it.
8. Accept that some days you're
the pigeon,
and some
days you're the statue.
9. Needing someone is like
needing a parachute. If he isn't
there the
first time you need him, chances are you won't
be needing
him again.
10. I don't have an attitude
problem. You have
a perception
problem.
11. Last night I lay in bed
looking up at the stars in the sky
and I thought
to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
12. My Reality Check bounced.
13. On the keyboard of life,
always keep one finger
on the escape
key.
14. I don't suffer from stress.
I'm a carrier.
15. You're slower than a herd
of turtles stampeding
through peanut
butter.
16. Everybody is somebody else's
weirdo.
\\\//
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Subj: Quotations
From The Universe According To Dilbert (S72)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 6/14/98
The Universe According To Dilbert
jokes were written by: Scott Adams
Stupidity is like nuclear power,
it can be used for good
or evil. But you still
don't want to get any on you.
You are without romance or mirth... You must be an engineer.
The status of a temp is somewhere
between that of a security
guard and the crud behind the
refrigerator.
I used to feel guilty about smashing
bugs until I realized
it's a sport.
And in the news... Body parts
were strewn for miles...
Check your sandwich.
Our company does not discriminate
on the basis of race,
sex, age, or religion... unless
the religions are bizarre
and unpopular and can be considered
cults (and so may be
freely discriminated against),
or you are a short, fat,
bald, ugly guy (and can be picked
on without restraint),
or are a nerd, smoker, or single
person. Stupid people
may now also be discriminated
against due to the failure
of their lobbying efforts.
I used to be clueless but I've
turned that situation
around 360 degrees.
Trying to attain vast power and
world domination again?!
Bad dog! Bad dog!
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
All your problems are caused
by invisible people. To
eliminate your problems, all
you need to do is find them
and kill them.
Someday, the people who know
how to use computers will
rule over those who don't.
And there will be a special
name for them: secretaries.
In the next hour, you will learn
how to cope with guilt
the Dogbert way. And if
you don't, well, it turns out
I get paid anyway.
Running feels awful, but it will
let you live longer...
So, life will feel awful, but
at least it will last longer.
Before you defeat the competition,
you must
first subjugate the other departments.
It's not a cult. Think of it
as a gang of morons
who have nothing better to do
with their lives.
Hello! This is a long-distance
phone company with vague
promises of unverifiable savings
if you switch to us. Is
this a convenient time for you?
No? OK, we'll call back later.
If you have everything, gloat.
When that gets boring,
start your own line of perfumes.
If you touch any key, our software
will lock up.
Call us and we'll blame it on
Microsoft.
Always put off dealing with time-wasting
morons. If you
would like to know how... I'll
get back to you on that.
There's more to science than
just hurting small animals,
but it's the part that's the
most fun.
What do you call a dog that's
been run over by
a steamroller? Spot.
Knowledge is power... But power
corrupts... And corruption
is a crime... And crime doesn't
pay... So if you keep on
studying you'll go broke!
Nature has a way of compensating
for weaknesses,
which is why stupid people have
big mouths.
Time slows down as you approach
the speed of light...
But time flies when you're having
fun... So if you walk
slower, do you have more fun
or do you just get more light?
It is said that man's ability
to reason that separates him
from mere animals, but then
again the animal kingdom has no
equivalent to "championship
wrestling."
One way to compensate for a tiny
brain is to pretend
to be dead.
If you haven't accomplished anything
so far, then your
best days are likely to be ahead
of you. But then, you
should consider your track record.
Intelligence has much less practical
application than
you'd think.
Used car salesmen are not in
it for the money.
They just like lying to strangers.
To become one with your computer
is to reach
a state of... nerdvana.
When virtual reality gets cheaper
than dating,
humanity is doomed.
\\\//
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Subj: Actual
Dilbert Quotes From Managers (S73)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 6/14/98
A magazine ran a Dilbert quotes
contest.
These are actual quotes from
managers in the business world:
As of tomorrow, employees will
only be able to access the
building using individual security
cards. Pictures will
be taken next Wednesday and
employees will receive their
cards in two weeks. (This was
the winning quote from
Charles Hurst at Sun Microsystems)
What I need is a list of specific
unknown problems we will
encounter. (Lykes Lines
Shipping)
How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?
E-mail is not to be used to pass
on information or data.
It should be used only for company
business.
(Accounting manager, Electric
Boat Company)
Turnover is good for the company,
as it proves
that we are doing a good job
in training people.
This project is so important,
we can't let things
that are more important interfere
with it.
(Advertising/Marketing manager,
United Parcel Service)
Doing it right is no excuse for
not meeting the schedule.
No one will believe you solved
this problem in one day!
We've been working on it for
months. Now, go act busy
for a few weeks and I'll let
you know when it's time to tell them.
(R?D supervisor, Minnesota Mining
and manufacturing/3M Corp.)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-07-09
My Boss spent the entire weekend
retyping a 25-page proposal
that only needed corrections.
She claims the disk I gave her
was damaged and she couldn't
edit it. The disk I gave her
was write-protected. (CIO
of Dell Computers)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork
is a lot of people doing what
I say." (Marketing executive,
Citrix Corporation)
"How About Friday?" My sister
passed away and her funeral
was scheduled for Monday.
When I told my Boss, he said she
died so that I would have to
miss work on the busiest day
of the year. He then asked
if we could change her burial
to Friday. He said, "That
would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
"We know that communication is
a problem, but the company
is not going to discuss it with
the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT?T
Lone Lines Division)
We recently received a memo from
senior management saying:
"This is to inform you that
a memo will be issued today
regarding the subject mentioned
above." (Microsoft, Legal
Affairs Division)
One day my Boss asked me to submit
a status report to him
concerning a project I was working
on. I asked him if
tomorrow would be soon enough.
He said "If I wanted it
tomorrow, I would have waited
until tomorrow to ask for
it!" (New business manager,
Hallmark Greeting Cards.)
Speaking the Same Language: As
director of communications
I was asked to prepare a memo
reviewing our company's
training programs and materials.
In the body of the memo
one of the sentences mentioned
the "pedagogical approach"
used by one of the training
manuals. The day after I
routed the memo to the executive
committee, I was called
into the HR director's office,
and told that the executive
vice president wanted me out
of the building by lunch.
When I asked why, I was told
that she wouldn't stand for
"perverts" (pedophilia?) working
in her company. Finally
he showed me her copy of the
memo, with her demand that I
be fired-and the word "pedagogical"
circled in red. The
HR manager was fairly reasonable,
and once he looked the
word up in his dictionary, and
made a copy of the
definition to send back to her,
he told me not to worry.
He would take care of it.
Two days later a memo to the
entire staff came out directing
us that no words which
could not be found in the local
Sunday newspaper could
be used in company memos.
A month later, I resigned.
In accordance with company policy,
I created my resign-
ation memo by pasting words
together from the Sunday
paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)
This gem is the closing paragraph
of a nationally-
circulated memo from a large
communications company:
"(Company name) is endeavorily
determined to promote
constant attention on current
procedures of transacting
business focusing emphasis on
innovative ways to better,
if not supersede, the expectations
of quality!"
(Lucent Technologies)
\\\//
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Subj: Dilbert
Creater Fools Computer Execs (S55)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
SAN JOSE, California (AP) --
Scott Adams doesn't just lampoon
consultants in his Dilbert cartoon
strip, he can also pose as
one and make managers believe
him.
Adams, whose strip appears in
1,700 newspapers in 51 countries,
spouted nonsense during a meeting
with executives of a Silicon
Valley company, and most of
them -- following the lead of their
boss -- just nodded in agreement.
"What if I was a management consultant?"
Adams wondered. "I
could lead a bunch of executives
in writing a mission statement
so impossibly complicated that
it has no real context whatsoever."
An account of Adam's hoax, which
happened last month at Logitech
International -- the world's
biggest maker of computer mice --
was printed in the San Jose
Mercury News' Sunday magazine, West.
Adams pulled off the deception
with the cooperation of Logitech
co-founder and vice chairman
Pierluigi Zappacosta.
Zappacosta summoned executives
to a meeting with Adams -- alias
Ray Mebert -- to draft a new
mission statement for Logitech's
New Ventures Group. His
memo touted Mebert as an expert who
could help the group "crisply
define" its goals.
Adams is hardly anonymous.
His photo appears on his best-
selling books and elsewhere,
and his Dilbert cartoons get
pinned up on bulletin boards
and employee cubicles at
innumerable companies, including
Logitech.
He disguised himself with a wig
and fake mustache. He also
arrived at Logitech's Fremont,
California, headquarters with
a photographer, videotaping
crew and a writer.
He told the group his credentials
included work on Procter
? Gamble Co.'s "Taste Bright
Project," a supposedly secret
effort to boost sales by improving
the taste of soap.
"There actually are some people
who admitted in focus groups
that they would sometimes taste
soap," Mebert explained.
Executives nodded agreement.
Mebert sneered at the New Ventures
Group's existing statement
-- "to provide Logitech with
profitable growth and related
new business areas" -- and led
an exercise in which managers
suggested words and ideas that
might become part of a new one.
The new statement read: "The
New Ventures Mission is to scout
profitable growth opportunities
in relationships, both
internally and externally, in
emerging, mission inclusive
markets, and explore new paradigms
and then filter and
communicate and evangelize the
findings."
Finally, the ersatz consultant
drew a last diagram, one that
he said would bring the session
into focus. It was a
picture of Dilbert, and Mebert
then pulled off his wig,
revealing Adams' thinning locks.
"You've all been had," he said.
The executives took the
joke with good grace.
"If Adams hadn't revealed himself,
I wonder how many of us
would have gone home and tried
tasting our soap?" joked
Jack Zahorsky, senior program
manager for control devices.
Copyright 1997 The Associated Press.
\\\//
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Subj: Peanuts
Specials For The 90's
From: humorlist-digest V2 #91 on 98-04-13
A few years ago, Charlie Brown
and the "Peanuts" gang made
a new friend who developed leukemia
in an animated special
titled, "Why, Charlie Brown,
Why?"
Recently, MetLife has put out
a series of instructional
pamphlets which feature the
"Peanuts" gang dealing with
such issues as the loss of a
loved one, writing a will,
and dealing with a permanent
disability.
Now that Charlie Brown is dealing
with important issues,
how about some "Peanuts" specials
for the kids of the '90s?
We learn about VD in:
"IT
BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"
Charlie and the little red-headed
girl learn about unwanted
pregnancy in:
"I'M
STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Is Linus gay?
"ITS
A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"
Charlie moves back to his house
in East L.A in:
"OYE!
VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?"
See how the Peanuts Gang deals
with date rape in:
"NO
MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Discover a father's forbidden
love in:
"IT'S
OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN"
Franklin speaks! The Peanuts
gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:
"IMO
BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"
What goes on the mind of a serial
killer? Discover the
inner workings of Pig Pen's
twisted psyche and meet his
murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean"
in:
"GOD
TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"
Schroder teaches the Peanuts
gang about getting high in:
"ROLL
US A FAT ONE, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Charlie Brown gets his first
job in:
"WOULD
YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT, CHARLIE BROWN?"
Charlie Brown peddles his body
for crack money while
stealing social security checks
and stripping cars in:
"GO
BLAME SOCIETY, CHARLIE BROWN"
Peppermint Patty 'goes to town'
on Marcie in:
"WHO
NEEDS MEN, CHARLIE BROWN?"
Charlie gets an AOL account and
stays up all night long in:
"WELCOME!...
YOU HAVE MAIL, CHARLIE BROWN"
Charlie gets a lesson in *serious*
pain in:
"DON'T
MESS AROUND WITH DOGBYTE'S GIRLFRIEND, CHARLIE BROWN!"
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Subj: Short
Cartoon Jokes
| Subj:
Coyote Catches Road Runner (S599b)
Youtube.com on 7/4/2008 Drawing
from Youtube.com...
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Subj:
Kill The Wabbit - What's Opera Doc? (S555b)
From: edapsmas on 9/2/2007 Drawing from YouTube.com |
| Subj:
X-Rated Loony Toons (S545b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/23/2007 |
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Subj:
Garfield Comic (S523b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/24/07 |
| Subj:
They Found Her!!!! (S467)
From: darrell94590 on 1/2/2006 |
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Top
Subj: Mickey
- GIF (S444)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/21/2005
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20040716
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Top
Subj: Mickey
And Minnie In Divorce Court (S329b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 5/17/2003
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse
were in divorce court. The
judge said, "Mickey, I'm sorry.
I can't grant you a divorce
on the grounds of insanity.
Minnie seems quite sane."
Mickey said, "I didn't say she
was insane, I said she was
fucking Goofy!"
Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson):
"The surest sign that
intelligent life exists elsewhere
in the universe is that
it has never tried to contact
us."
Calvin: People think it must
be fun to be a super genius,
but they don't
realize how hard it is to put up with
all the idiots
in the world. Hobbes: Isn't your pants'
zipper supposed
to be in the front?
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
The first couple to be shown
in bed together on prime time
television were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Wilma Flintstone's maiden name
was Wilma Slaghoopal, and
Betty Rubble's
Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
From: dogbyte on 2/27/2002 (S274c)
I may not be Fred Flintstone,
but I can make your Bed Rock!
What person, not a "Seinfeld"
regular cast member,
is featured on every episode
of "Seinfeld"?
Superman, either by name or
pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.
"If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred
minus one day, so I never have
to live without you."
- Winnie the Pooh
From: LABLaughsClean on 3/10/2005 (S424b)
"Sometimes I lie awake at night,
and I ask, 'Where have I
gone wrong?' Then a voice says
to me, 'This is going to
take more than one night.'
" -- Charlie Brown.
From: Tom_Adams on 98-04-29 (S65)
"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from
behind.
'Pooh!' he whispered.
'Yes, Piglet?'
'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking
Pooh's paw.
'I just wanted to be sure of
you.'"
From: RFSlick on 98-04-30
101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan
(Wendy) are the only two
Disney cartoon features with
both parents that are
present and don't die throughout
the movie.
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
From: auntieg 98-05-09
The characters Bert and Ernie
on Sesame Street were named
after Bert the cop and Ernie
the taxi driver in Frank
Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #270 on 98-08-31
"Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as
he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.
From: Bobbyt's Place
What do John the Baptist ? Winnie
the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name. --
XYTrapp
From: RFSlick on 99-02-14
Donald Duck's middle name is
Fauntleroy.
From: JCary on 6/15/99
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn
that way."
-- Jessica Rabbit in
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
From: FrankRoesc on 7/20/99
Donald Duck comics were banned
in Finland
because he doesn't wear any
pants.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #295 on 3/24/99
(S113)
"Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as
he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.
From: dogbyte on 11/9/2001 (S249)
Work is the crab grass in the
lawn of life.
-- Charles Schultz
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2002 (S281b)
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
-- Walt Disney (1901-1966)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/14/2005
(S456b)
"All our dreams can come true
- if we have the courage to
pursue them." -- Walt
Disney
From: humorlist-digest V2 #34 on 98-02-04
Q: What does Popeye do to keep
his favorite tool from rusting?
A: Sticks it in Olive Oyl.
From: kmacinty on 6/23/2002 (S282b)
Q: What is the definition of
wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants
to do to Madonna.
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Drawing a Smiley from
GIFs Rubrik:Neon Smiley |