Subj: Cartoon Character Jokes
..........(Includes 63 jokes, 19 1123n,22,cf,vYT2a7a,15)
..........Click "Here" for Cartoon-Supp
Mouse Star from
Also see ALIEN file - 'Minions
- Alien Puppy' - Short Film
BIRDS file - 'Pink Panther in "Pink on the Cob"' - Video
......................- 'Snow White Animated GIF'
BUGS_ETC-SUPP- 'Larva - Korean Animations'
COMPUTER-SUP2- 'South Park - Make Love, Not Warcraft' - Cartoon
CANADIAN file- 'Cartoony Prank' - Video
CARS1 file - '11 Gas Price Cartoons'
CARS-SUPP3 - 'Snoopy - Obey The Road Signs'
.........CATS1 file - 'The Aristocats Animated GIF'
CATS2 file - 'Simon's Cat In "Wake-Up"' - Video
CATS-SUPP - 'Simon's Cat In "Snow Business"' - Video
CHRISTMAS SUP- 'Simon's Cat In "Fowl Play"' - Video
.........CHURCH-SUPP2 - 'Church Mice - A Christian Comic'
COWBOY2 file - 'Jim Lisk, A Cowboy Cartoonist'
COWS_SHEEP - 'Pink Panther In "Little Beaux Pink"' - Video
yyDRAWINGS - 'Find Homer Simpson' - Drawing
FAIRY TALES - (see whole file)
FAIRYTALE-SUP- 'Tinderella: A Modern Fairy Tale' - Video
FARMER-SUPP - 'Fat - Farm Animals' - Animated Short Video
FIREMEN file - 'Mickey's Fire Brigand'
GAMES2 file - 'Tetris Vs Contra' - Cartoon Video
GAMES2-SUPP - 'Winnie the Pooh Comic Strip'
GAYS-SUPP - 'Bizarro Sunday Comic Strip'
HARLEY file - 'Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown' - Film Clip
JOBS2 file - 'Dilbert's Laws Of Work'
JOB-STUFF-SP2- 'Dilbert Cartoons: Dogbert's Consult Video'
KIDS2 file - 'How We Raise Our Kids! - Animated Short Film
LISTS file - 'Top Ten Rejected Dr. Seuss Books'
LOVE file - 'Tumbleweed Tango' - Video
.........LOVE-SUPP - 'Disney's Paperman' - Animated Short
MOVIES2-SUPP2- 'Minion Movie' - GIF
MUSIC file - 'Line Rider Animation w/Hall of the Mountain King Music'
MUSIC2 file - 'Tom And Jerry - Cat Concerto' - Video
MUSIC2-SUPP2 - 'The Beatles - Yellow Submarine' - Animated Video
NATIONAL-SUPP- 'Yakko's Nations of the World' - Video
ONELINERS - 'Old Cartoon'
POLICE-SUPP2 - 'Police Artist Sketch Of Robery Suspect'
POLIT-SUPP2 - 'A Career In Organized Crime'
QUOTES2 file - 'Quoting Homer'
SAILOR-MARINE- 'Popeye The Sailor w/Betty Boop' - Cartoon Video
STARTREK-SUPP- 'Yakko's Universe Song' - Cartoon
SUPERHEROES - 'Nanna Nanna Batman' - Drawing
......................- 'B.C. Sunday Comic Strip'
SWEDISH_ETC - 'The Saga of Bjorn' - Video
THOUGHTS-QUTS- 'Charles Schultz's Philosophy'
THOUGHTS-WARM- 'Snoopy And Fall Leaves' - Comic Strip
THOU-WARM-SUP- 'Pooh And Piglet Drawing'
WEDDING file - 'Taking The Plunge' - Animated Short Film
WED-HNY-SUPP - 'Dancing On The Moon - 1935' - Video
Subj: Fourteen Disney Animation Classics (S965)
From: Gen Y Kids on Facebook (d-On Site)
Source: (Removed from facebook.com/video)
.......Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful compilation.
Subj: Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse (S276, S461)
From: twistedhumor.com in 2000
(Also see 'A Duck Walks Into A Drugstore' in BIRD-DUCKS)
Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse
were up in a hotel room and
decided that they wanted to have sex. Well, the first
thing Minnie asks is, "Do you have a condom?" Donald says
"No." Minnie tells Donald that if he doesn't get a condom
that they can't have sex and suggests to Donald that he go
buy a condom. She says that maybe they sell them at the
front desk. Donald proceeds to go downstairs and gets to
the front desk. He asks the hotel clerk if they sell
condoms. The clerk says "yes we do" and pulls one out
from under the desk and gives it to Donald. The clerk
asks "Would you like me to put that on your bill?" Donald
says "NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF PERVERT?
Toon Crisis (S516)
..........in 2006 (d-On Site)
This is the best shooting game
I have seen in years. It
is too cool. You can play it by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Snoopy Meets Van Gogh - Painting (S1077)
Print from: Etsy
.....You can buy this Etsy art print for $10.20 from Etsy.
Kill The Wabbit - What's Opera Doc?
From: edapsmas in 2007
..........(S555b, S876d-On Site)
In 1957, Warner Bros. released
what has been acclaimed as
"The Greatest Animated Cartoon of All-Time": "What's Opera,
Doc?", based on the opera "Der Ring des Nibelungen" ("The
Ring of the Nibelung") by Richard Wagner. You can view it
by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Cartoon Laws of Physics (S235b)
From: Laugh-A-Lot in 2001
Source: (Removed from graceweb.org)
Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until
made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff,
expecting further pastureland.
He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he
chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle
of 32 feet per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until
solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or
in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon
characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a
telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward
motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden
termination of motion the stooge's surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a
perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of
passage, this phenomenon is
the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions
and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that
they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a
cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or
matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Cartoon Law IV
The time required for an object to fall twenty stories
is greater than or equal to the time it takes for
whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty
flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably
priceless, the attempt to
capture it inevitably unsuccessful.
Cartoon Law V
All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient
in most bodies for a shock
to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A
spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will
induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a
chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The
feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a
speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially
when in flight.
Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases, objects can be in several places
This is particularly true of
tooth-and-claw fights, in
which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from
the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously.
This effect is common as well among bodies that are
spinning or being throttled. A `wacky' character has the
option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and
may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.
Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to
resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency
has baffled generations,
but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance
on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable
to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter
is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow
into the painting.
This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.
Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more
deaths than the traditional
nine lives, might comfortably afford. They can be decimated,
spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or
disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few
moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate,
snap back, or solidify.
Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Cartoon Law IX
Everything falls faster than an anvil.
Cartoon Law X
For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite
This is the one law of animated
cartoon motion that also
applies to the physical world at large. For that reason,
we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.
Cartoon Law Amendment A
A sharp object will always propel a character upward.
When poked (usually in the buttocks)
with a sharp object
(usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting
straight up, with great velocity.
Cartoon Law Amendment B
The laws of object permanence are nullified for
Characters who are intended to
be "cool" can make previously
nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will.
For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to
express himself without speaking.
Cartoon Law Amendment C
Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.
They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.
Cartoon Law Amendment D
Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large
Their operation can be wittnessed
by observing the behavior
of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet
will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As
the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall,
causing the neck to strech. As the head begins to fall,
tension is released and the canine will resume its regular
proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.
Cartoon Law Amendment E
Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces"
(spaces in which cartoon laws hold).
The process is analogous to steady-state
theories of the
universe which postulated that the tensions involved in
maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen
from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick
sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to
psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in
"cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special
case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their
advantage. One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and
energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding.
A big bang indeed.
Coyote Catches Road Runner
..........in 2008 (S599b,d-iFrame)
You can see this cute cartoon video by clicking 'HERE'.
Coyote Catches Road Runner II
From: rfslick in 2009
to see this somewhat dumb, somewhat
gruesome cartoon, but I like it.
Subj: Opus Comic Strip Returns (S968)
by Berkeley Breathed
. Bloom County comic strip ran from 1980 through 1989.
. After a twenty-five year pause, it is back and this
. is it's first strip posted on Monday, July 13, 2015
Subj: Actual Dilbert Quotes From Managers (S73)
From: Ossama's Laugh in 1998
A magazine ran a Dilbert quotes
These are actual quotes from managers in the business world:
As of tomorrow, employees will
only be able to access the
building using individual security cards. Pictures will
be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their
cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from
Charles Hurst at Sun Microsystems)
What I need is a list of specific
unknown problems we will
encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)
How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?
E-mail is not to be used to pass
on information or data.
It should be used only for company business.
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
Turnover is good for the company,
as it proves
that we are doing a good job in training people.
This project is so important,
we can't let things
that are more important interfere with it.
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
Doing it right is no excuse for
not meeting the schedule.
No one will believe you solved this problem in one day!
We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy
for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
(R?D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and manufacturing/3M Corp.)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-07-09
My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal
that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her
was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her
was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork
is a lot of people doing what
I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
"How About Friday?" My sister
passed away and her funeral
was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she
died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day
of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial
to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
"We know that communication is
a problem, but the company
is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT?T Lone Lines Division)
We recently received a memo from
senior management saying:
"This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today
regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal
One day my Boss asked me to submit
a status report to him
concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if
tomorrow would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it
tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for
it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)
Speaking the Same Language: As
director of communications
I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's
training programs and materials. In the body of the memo
one of the sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach"
used by one of the training manuals. The day after I
routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called
into the HR director's office, and told that the executive
vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch.
When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for
"perverts" (pedophilia?) working in her company. Finally
he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I
be fired-and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The
HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the
word up in his dictionary, and made a copy of the
definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry.
He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the
entire staff came out directing us that no words which
could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could
be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned.
In accordance with company policy, I created my resign-
ation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday
paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)
This gem is the closing paragraph
of a nationally-
circulated memo from a large communications company:
"(Company name) is endeavorily determined to promote
constant attention on current procedures of transacting
business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better,
if not supersede, the expectations of quality!"
Rocko's Modern Life
From: Larry Lemas
..........in 2017 (S1071d-On Site)
to see the trailer for Rocko's Modern Life,
TV special, on Nickelodeon.
Subj: Bizarro Cartoons (S645c)
By Dan Piraro in 2009
Betty Boop And Grampy
..........in 2009 (S628b,d-On Site)
Betty Boop and Grampy having
a party with friends showing
off all his cool inventions. Click 'HERE' to see this
splendid, 1935 cartoon.
Subj: Dilbert Creater Fools Computer Execs (S55)
From: Ossama's Laugh in 1998
SAN JOSE, California (AP) --
Scott Adams doesn't just lampoon
consultants in his Dilbert cartoon strip, he can also pose as
one and make managers believe him.
Adams, whose strip appears in
1,700 newspapers in 51 countries,
spouted nonsense during a meeting with executives of a Silicon
Valley company, and most of them -- following the lead of their
boss -- just nodded in agreement.
"What if I was a management consultant?"
Adams wondered. "I
could lead a bunch of executives in writing a mission statement
so impossibly complicated that it has no real context whatsoever."
An account of Adam's hoax, which
happened last month at Logitech
International -- the world's biggest maker of computer mice --
was printed in the San Jose Mercury News' Sunday magazine, West.
Adams pulled off the deception
with the cooperation of Logitech
co-founder and vice chairman Pierluigi Zappacosta.
Zappacosta summoned executives
to a meeting with Adams -- alias
Ray Mebert -- to draft a new mission statement for Logitech's
New Ventures Group. His memo touted Mebert as an expert who
could help the group "crisply define" its goals.
Adams is hardly anonymous.
His photo appears on his best-
selling books and elsewhere, and his Dilbert cartoons get
pinned up on bulletin boards and employee cubicles at
innumerable companies, including Logitech.
He disguised himself with a wig
and fake mustache. He also
arrived at Logitech's Fremont, California, headquarters with
a photographer, videotaping crew and a writer.
He told the group his credentials
included work on Procter
? Gamble Co.'s "Taste Bright Project," a supposedly secret
effort to boost sales by improving the taste of soap.
"There actually are some people
who admitted in focus groups
that they would sometimes taste soap," Mebert explained.
Executives nodded agreement.
Mebert sneered at the New Ventures
Group's existing statement
-- "to provide Logitech with profitable growth and related
new business areas" -- and led an exercise in which managers
suggested words and ideas that might become part of a new one.
The new statement read: "The
New Ventures Mission is to scout
profitable growth opportunities in relationships, both
internally and externally, in emerging, mission inclusive
markets, and explore new paradigms and then filter and
communicate and evangelize the findings."
Finally, the ersatz consultant
drew a last diagram, one that
he said would bring the session into focus. It was a
picture of Dilbert, and Mebert then pulled off his wig,
revealing Adams' thinning locks.
"You've all been had," he said.
The executives took the
joke with good grace.
"If Adams hadn't revealed himself,
I wonder how many of us
would have gone home and tried tasting our soap?" joked
Jack Zahorsky, senior program manager for control devices.
Copyright 1997 The Associated Press.
Porky Pig Cusses
..........in 2009 (S673b,d-iFrame)
Click 'HERE' to see this cute, short cartoon.
Subj: Dilbert's Words of Wisdom (S102)
From: ossama in 1999
1. I can please only one person
per day. Today is not
your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound
they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into
a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get
along without it.
8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.
9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't
there the first time you need him, chances are you won't
be needing him again.
10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have
a perception problem.
11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky
and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
12. My Reality Check bounced.
13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger
on the escape key.
14. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding
through peanut butter.
16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Mr Bean In The Pink (S1109)
By Robin Drisell (d-On Site)
From: Mr Bean in 2018
Subj: Bizarro Cartoons II (S656)
By Dan Piraro in 2009
Voices Of Characters
From: Seattle Times
..........in 2008 (S649)
To see other Asimov quizes click on.
Trouble For Newspapers Spells Trouble For Cartoonists
by Lee Bains, posted Dec 29th 2008
..........(S625, in Headlines)
Opus On Comic Strips
By Berkeley Breathed
..........in 2008 (S607c)
You can view other great Opus
Comic Strips by clicking 'HERE2'.
Free Range (S607c)
by Bill Whitehead in 2008
Small drawing from FreeRangecomic.com
X-Rated Loony Toons
..........in 2007 (S545b)
Garfield Comic (S523b)
From: LABLaughsClean in 2007
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
They Found Her!!!!
..........in 2006 (S467)
Winnie The Pooh Comic Strips (S628c)
..........Created by A.A. Milne in his 1920s books
..........by Disney in 2009
Subj: Mickey - GIF (S444)
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2005
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
Subj: Mickey And Minnie In Divorce Court
From: LABLaughs.com in 2003 (S329b)
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court. The
judge said, "Mickey, I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce
on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane."
Mickey said, "I didn't say she
was insane, I said she was
Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson):
"The surest sign that
intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that
it has never tried to contact us."
Calvin: People think it must
be fun to be a super genius,
but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with
all the idiots in the world. Hobbes: Isn't your pants'
zipper supposed to be in the front?
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
The first couple to be shown
in bed together on prime time
television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Wilma Flintstone's maiden name
was Wilma Slaghoopal, and
Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
From: dogbyte on 2/27/2002 (S274c)
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bed Rock!
What person, not a "Seinfeld"
regular cast member,
is featured on every episode of "Seinfeld"?
Superman, either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.
"If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred
minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
- Winnie the Pooh
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005 (S424b)
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I
gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to
take more than one night.' " -- Charlie Brown.
From: Tom_Adams in 1998 (S65)
"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
'Pooh!' he whispered.
'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"
From: RFSlick in 1998
101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two
Disney cartoon features with both parents that are
present and don't die throughout the movie.
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
From: auntieg in 1998
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named
after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank
Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #270 in 1998
"Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.
From: Bobbyt's Place
What do John the Baptist ? Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name. -- XYTrapp
From: RFSlick in 1999
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
From: JCary in 1999
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
-- Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
From: FrankRoesc in 1999
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland
because he doesn't wear any pants.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #295 in 1999
"Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.
From: dogbyte in 2001 (S249)
Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.
-- Charles Schultz
From: LABLaughs.com in 2002 (S281b)
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
-- Walt Disney (1901-1966)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com in 2005
"All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to
pursue them." -- Walt Disney
From: humorlist-digest V2 #34 in 1998
Q: What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
A: Sticks it in Olive Oyl.
From: kmacinty in 2002 (S282b)
Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.
...........................From GIFs Rubrik:Neon Smiley.