Subj: Food, Cooking, And Recipe Jokes Supp
(Includes 58 jokes and articles, 23845,48,cf,md4,45)
Mrs. Mac's Hot Car Wash Ad!!!! (S726d)
Click on the above source, or
for my copy, to
see this forty second, hot ad for Mrs. Mac's famous
Jamie Oliver: Teach Every Child About Food
on 2/21/2010 (S684d)
Jamie Oliver is a chef from England
who has his own
cooking show. He is on a personal mission to save
the world's children from obesity. This 21 minute,
TED video is amazing and blew me a bit away. Click
on either of the above two sources, or 'HERE' for my
copy, to see his suggestions to save our children.
His suggestion that every child
should leave school
knowing how to cook ten healthy meals is so obvious
and important, why haven't we thought of it.
Subj: Wooden Spoons (S699b)
From: Anonymous Jr. on 6/5/2010
One day during cooking class,
the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was
extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When
she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments,
she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons."
As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated
the physics behind
the mystery of the wooden spoon, and decided it must have
something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs.
Jones to test my theory. "Why wooden spoons?" I asked.
"Because," she replied, "if I
have to sit here listening to
twenty-three metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'll
IronWorkz, A Rock Band (S684d)
on 2/19/2010 (in Headlines/Ads-Supp)
This commercial for red meat
with iron is very cute.
Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
to see this video of good advice for old folks.
Awesome Nutrition Chart (S648b)
From: rfslick on 6/5/2009
Drawing from FAS.USDA.gov
I do not know the source, or
accuracy of these nutritional
facts, but I still want to share them with you. Click
'HERE' to see the chart.
Subj: Doctor Gives Lecture On Dangerous Foods (S647b)
From: ginafm on 5/25/2009
A Doctor was addressing a large
audience in Tampa. 'The
material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed
most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is
loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that
is the most dangerous of
all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here
tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds
of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand,
and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'
Match The Food To The Logo (S646)
From: USA Today on May 27,2009
Given five foods and five well
known fast food chains,
can you match the each food to the right restaurant?
Click 'HERE' to text your food knowledge.
Subj: The New Supermarket (S640c)
From: edapsmas on 4/15/2009
There is a new supermarket opened
in Mertzon, Texas. It
has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant
thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases,
you hear cows mooing and
you smell fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there
is the aroma of charcoal
grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case,
you hear hens cluck and
cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features
the tantalizing smell of
fresh baked bread ? cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.
Coca Cola Commercial (S599d)
From: darrellvip on 7/3/2008
This wonderful Coca Cola commercial
is about Mr. Hadley.
He lives in a rest home and has never drank a coke.
Click 'HERE' to see how his first coke changes his life.
Subj: Directions (S621c)
From: LABLaughsClean on12/2/2008
A friend was thinking about buying
a new house in the
country and asked me to come out and look at it. We
found the town, but we couldn't locate the road. We
drove over to city hall, where a community get-together
was going on, and asked around, but no one had heard
of the road.
Even the policemen and fire personnel
were stumped. We
went to city hall and consulted a map, with no luck,
until finally one young man came to our aid. He pointed
to the map, showing us exactly how to get there.
I thanked the young man and asked
if he was with the
police or fire department.
"Neither," he replied. "I deliver pizzas."
The 5-Second Rule! (S555d)
From: darrellvip on 9/8/2007
Subj: Aluminum Foil Box (S593c)
From: jbcary1 on 5/28/2008
This is good one! I can't
even believe it! We learn
something new everyday! I had to go into the kitchen and
check this out for myself. Who ever looks at the end of
your aluminum foil box? What a fantastic idea. Now, if
someone would just make plastic wrap that didn't stick to
I've been using aluminum foil
for more years than I care to
remember. Great stuff, but sometimes it can be a pain. You
know, like when you are in the middle of doing something and
you try to pull some foil out and the roll comes out of the
box. Then you have to put the roll back in the box and start
over. The darn roll always comes out at the wrong time.
Well, I would like to share this
with you. Yesterday I went
to throw out an empty Reynolds foil box and for some reason I
turned it and looked at the end of the box. And written on
the end it said, Press here to lock end. Right there on the
end of the box is a tab to lock the roll in place. How long
has this little locking tab been there? I then looked at a
generic brand of aluminum foil and it had one, too. I then
looked at a box of Saran wrap and it had one too! I can't
count the number of times the Saran wrap roll has jumped out
when I was trying to cover something up.
The Best Pepsi Commercial Ever (S625b)
on 1/2/2009 (S625b,d)
In this cute Pepsi commercial,
a dog steals lunch and places
the blame on the cat. Click 'HERE' to see this cute short ad.
Subj: The Bake Sale Cake (S544c, S750)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/17/2007
and From: firstname.lastname@example.org on 5/26/2011
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake
for the Baptist Church
Ladies' Group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot
about it until the last Minute.
She remembered it the morning
of the bake sale and after
rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake
mix and quickly made it. While drying her hair and
dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout
camp. But, when Alice took the cake from the oven, the
center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly
disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time bake
This cake was so important to
Alice because she did so
want to fit in at her new church, and in her new
community of new friends.
So, being inventive, she looked
around the house for
something to build up the center of the cake. Alice
found it in the bathroom, a roll of toilet paper. She
plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only
did the finished product look beautiful, it looked
Before she left the house
to drop the cake by the
church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter
Amanda and gave her some money and specific
instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it
opened at 9:30, and to buy this cake and bring it
When the daughter arrived at
the sale, she found that
the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold!
Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mother.
Alice was horrified. She
was beside herself. Everyone
would know! What would they think of her? She would
be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed.
That night Alice was laying awake
in bed thinking about
people pointing their fingers at her and talking about
her behind her back.
The next day Alice promised herself
that she would try
not to think about the cake and she would attend the
fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend
of a friend and try to have a good time there.
She did not really want to attend
because the hostess
was a real snob who more than once had looked down
her nose at Alice because Alice was a single parent
and not from one of the founding families of
Having already RSVP'd she could
not think of a
believable excuse to stay away. The meal was elegant;
the company was definitely upper crust Old South...
To Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented
Alice felt the blood drain from
her body when she saw
it being brought in. She started out of her chair to
rush to the hostess and tell her all about it, but
before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife
said, "What a beautiful cake!"
"Thank you", said the snobby
hostess, "I baked it
Alice sat back and smiled thinking, "GOD IS GOOD."
Packaged Food Mascots - Memory Test
From: ginafm on 1/6/2009 (S626c,d)
Drawing from The Biting Edge...
Can you pick which products were
sold by the mascots Tony the
Tiger, Chester the Cool Cat, and other cute creatures. Click
on the above source, or 'HERE' for my file copy, to test your
Subj: Name Three Cheeses (S569)
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 12/13/2007
The names of three famous cheeses
are "interlettered" in the
following line. All the letters are in the correct order for
each word. Unscramble your cheeses:
The solution can be found on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
From: ginafm on 8/13/2008
The British photographer Carl
Warner created this series
of photos using only food to make the scenery. Click 'HERE'
to view this PowerPoint Show.
Butter vs. Margarine (S607b)
From: gordonschuk on 8/17/2008
Drawing from Snopes.com...
The Difference Between Butter And Margarine?
Both have the same amount of
calories, butter is slightly
higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by
53% over eating the same amount of butter according to a
recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption
of many other
nutrients in other foods, butter has many nutritional
benefits where margarine has a few only because they are
added! Butter tastes much better than margarine and it
can enhance the flavors of other foods. Butter has been
around for centuries where margarine has been around for
less than 100 years.
Now for Margarine, very high
in trans fatty acids triple
risk of Coronary Heart Disease, increases total and LDL
(This is the bad Cholesterol), lowers HDL cholesterol and
this is the good one, increases the risk of cancers by up
to five fold, lowers quality of breast milk, decreases
immune response, and decreases insulin response.
And here is the most disturbing fact......
Margarine is but one molecule
from being PLASTIC.....
(This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine
for life and anything else that is hydrogenated, this
means hydrogen is added changing the molecular structure
of the food.)
You can try this for yourself,
purchase a tub of margarine
and leave it in your garage or shaded area, within a couple
of days you will note a couple of things, no flies, not
even those pesky fruit flies will go near it, (that should
tell you something) it does not rot, smell differently...
Because it has no nutritional value, nothing will grow on
it, even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not find a
home to grow... Why?
Because it is nearly plastic.
Would you melt your Tupperware
and spread that on your toast?
This article is mostly true as
reported by Snopes.com at
the above source.
by John Graziano
From: Comics.com on 1/9/2009
Mona Lisa Recreated With Coffee (S673)
From: ginafm on 12/2/2009
Photo from YouTube.com
The Mona Lisa, one of the world's
most famous paintings,
has been recreated with 3,604 cups of coffee - and 564
pints of milk at the Aroma Festival at The Rocks in Sydney,
Australia. Click on the sources above, or 'HERE'for my
file copy, read the story, see the pictures, and see a
stop-motion video of its construction.
Subj: Preparing Spaghetti Sauce In A Hurry (S704b)
From: www.arcamax.com on 7/13/2010
Becky prepared a pasta dish for
a dinner party she was giving.
In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti
sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried
about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch.
She called the local Poison Control
Center and voiced her
concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again.
That night, the phone rang during
dinner, and one of the
guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the
guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want
to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
Creme d'Or Commercial (S629b,d)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/12/2009
Can ice cream be worth a sin?
This Creme d'Or commercial
is short and cute. Click on the above source, or 'HERE'
for my file version, to see it.
Spiral Wine Cellar In The Kitchen (S720)
The Spiral Cellar system was
developed in 1978 by a Frenchman
who saw that few modern houses had wine cellars, but that
people still needed a place to store their wine. If a wine-
lover has a serious collection it can quickly outgrow wine
racks and refrigerator units. So he came up with the Spiral
Cellar design, which uses the earth to insulate and create
good storage conditions. It does this, however, in a fraction
of the space of a regular cellar. It also can maintain a
constant temperature with no power required.
A spiral cellar is dug into the
floor by a professional team,
and the cellar storage itself is created from concrete wrapped
in a watertight lining. Passive ventilation keeps the temper-
ature around 55?, an ideal temperature for wine storage. There
are several sizes, holding from 1000-1600 bottles.
Of course, this is one indulgence
for wealthy or well-off wine
drinkers only. The Spiral Cellar purchase and installation
runs at least $30,000. Click 'HERE' to see and read more
about wine cellars in the kitchen.
Wings Etc's Ad For Blazin' Balls
From: LOLS Videos
on 1/13/2010 (S731d, S845)
The Chickens and the Buffalo
are singin' and dancin' about
the New "Blazin' Balls" at Wings Etc.! Click on the above
source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to listen to this cute,
Subj: More Short Food Jokes
Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S748)
By Brian Crane
From: WashingtonPost.com on 10/15/2010
Pearls Before Swine (S745)
By Stephan Pastis
From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/23/2011
Pickles Comic Strip II (S717)
By Brian Crane
From: WashingtonPost.com on 10/15/2010
Sandwich Menu From Woolworths In 1957
From: tom on 7/19/2010 (S710b)
Subj: Parents Worry About Son's Small Penis (S752)
From: allenbergman on 6/10/2011
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their
little angel appeared to be in good health, they were
concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the
doctor confidently declared,
'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy
arrived at breakfast, there
was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied.
'The rest are for your father.'
Food Consumption By Families In Different Countries (S703)
Are You Coming To The BBQ? (S694)
Banana Gone Bad (S683a)
From: AFine963 on 2/12/2010
Pickles Comic Strip (S668b)
By Brian Crane
From: WashingtonPost.com on 10/24/2009
Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S662)
By Bob Thaves
From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/18/2009
Bizarro Cartoon (S656b)
By Dan Piraro
From: WashingtonPost.com on 8/1/2009
Mallard Comic Strip (S651b)
By Bruce Tinsley
From: Seattle Post-Intelligencer on 7/1/2009
Close A Bag, Without Using A Bag Clip!
on 6/26/2009 (S651d)
Australian Kiwi Bacon Ad (S634d)
Herman Sunday Comic Strip III (S633b)
By Jim Unger
From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/22/2008
Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S624)
By Wiley Miller
From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/28/2008
Just Water (S623b)
From: gattica30 on 12/17/2008
This PowerPoint Show is a series of photos of
Herman Comic Strip (S623b)
By Jim Unger
From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/17/2008
New Wine For Seniors (S620b)
From: ginafm on 11/23/2008
You can see this cute web page by clicking 'HERE'.
Martha vs Maxine?? (S615)
From: tom on 9/29/2008
Photo from Veg Lawyer's Weblog
Rubes Comic Strip ® (S611b)
by Leigh Rubin
From: Creators.com on 9/22/2008
Lays Potato Chip Commercial (S608d)
The Coffee Machine (S600c,d)
Capp Comics On Fixing Dinner (S598b)
by Reg Smythe
From Andy Capp Comic Strip on 7/2/2008
Herman Comics On Genetic Engineering
By Jim Unger
From: Comics.com on 6/14/2008 (S595b)
Square Watermelons (S593b)
Dangling Restaurant (S581b)
Ameriquest's Romantic Dinner (S581d)
Home Depot Hot Dogs (S579b,d)
Lemon Slices in Drinks (S579d)
From: darrellvip on 12/6/2007
What is this and who is she....?
Jimmy Dean Sausage Phone Call (S566b)
From: unknown on 11/20/2007
Photo from Lee's Traveller
EggsActly Talented (S548)
From: Contra Costa Times on 5/11/2008,
Page C1 (S591b)
"When the well is dry, we know the worth of water."
-- Benjamin Franklin
...............................Smiley eats an ice cream from catlynnbray