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Subj: Food, Cooking, And Recipe Jokes Supp2
          (Includes 44 jokes and articles, 09 1034,38,cf,wXT2c4b,18)
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Taco w/Chili  from
GIFMania.co.uk
Includes the following:  Cookie Monster Bakes Cookies - Video (S1004)
.........................Jimmy Fallon Makes Blake Shelton Try Sushi (S1011)
.........................The New Supermarket (S500c)
.........................Maxwell House's 5 Blend Coffee - Video (S1025)
.........................Ape Pancakes - Video (S929)
.........................Bread Shopping Tips (S289b)
.........................Zits Sunday Comic Strip (S910)
.........................Eating Dirt In A Restaurant - Web Page (S840)
.........................Banned Doritos Super Bowl Commercial (S894)
.........................How To Read Bar Codes And Plu's - Sign (S901)
.........................Kate Upton Banned Super Bowl Commercial (S891)
.........................The Popinator - Video (S819)
.........................Selling Peaches Door To Door (S833)
.........................Candorville Comic Strip (S988)
.........................Fantastic Delites Free Vending Machine - Video (S809)
.........................Amazing Frozen Lemons (S821)
.........................David Letterman - Harrison Ford Tells A Joke - Video (S758)
.........................What Flavor Is Extracted From Orchids? (S911)
.........................Buddy Hackett on the Dean Martin Show - Video (S798)
.........................The Dinner Party (S541)
.........................Pickles Comic Strip (S1034)
.........................Finger Food with Fingers - Video (S971)
.........................Part of:  A Little History From the 1500s
.........................Bizarro Cartoon III (S959)
.........................More Short Food Jokes
..............................Mother Goose And Grimm - Comic Strip (S982)
..............................All Men Should Make Coffee For Their Women - Photo (S976)
..............................Legos Coffee Mug - Photo (S931)
..............................Periodic Table of Elements Coffee Mug - Photo (S908)
..............................Did You Hug Your Mug Today? - Photo (S893)
..............................Coffee Cup Sign (S890)
..............................Coffee Filter Cartoon Joke (S889)
..............................Book of Coffee - Drawing (S880)
..............................Coffee Sign (S876)
..............................Coffee Cup Tastes Coffee - Photo (S873)
..............................Monday Coffee - Photo (S872)
..............................Stressed Pillow - Photo (S845)
..............................Bizarro II Cartoon (S836)
..............................Shoe Comic Strip (S788)
..............................Anti-Theft Lunch Bag - Photo (S784)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S753)
..............................Garfield Comic Strip (S781)
..............................Two Popsicle Stick Riddles (S824, S829)

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Subj:     Cookie Monster Bakes Cookies (S1004)
          Made by Apple
          From: sam.hutkins on 3/28/2016
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/CCbWyYr82BM
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.......Click 'HERE' to see the Cookie Monster bake cookies.
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Top
Subj:     Jimmy Fallon Makes Blake Shelton Try Sushi
          From: Tonight Show w/Jimmy Fallon (S1011)

 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/7WYmWo28svg

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 Blake has never tried sushi before, so Jimmy takes him to
 Nobu to broaden his horizons. Click 'HERE' to see what happens.
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Top
Subj:     The New Supermarket (S500c)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 8/14/2006

 The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water
 mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on,
 you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of fresh
 rain.

 When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
 witness the scent of fresh butter fat.

 When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackle and
 the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.

 .............So far I have been afraid to go down the
 toilet paper aisle.

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Subj:     Maxwell House's 5 Blend Coffee (S1025)
          From: Maxwell House on 9/3/2016
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/maxwellhouse/?fref=ts
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........Click 'HERE' to see how Haxwell House mixes 5
..............coffees into their blend in 12 seconds.
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Top
Subj:     Ape Pancakes (S929d)
          Published by: Nathan Shields
          From: Becky Bennigson on Facebook
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/KR2ibLNW_wo
 Source2: http://www.thisblewmymind.com/it-looked-like-a-
..........failed-pancake-until-he-flipped-it-over-unreal/#_

 His children were looking at pictures of gorillas and other
 primates, so Nathan Shields decided to make his kids a
 special breakfast using nothing but pancake batter and
 hot chocolate mix.  It looked like a failed pancake until
 he flipped them over.  Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful
 breakfast.

Top
Subj:     Bread Shopping Tips (S289b)
          From: mombear1 on 8/12/2002

 When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever
 wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness
 or softness?

 Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five
 days a week?

 Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a
 different color twist tie.  They are:

        Monday - Blue
        Tuesday - Green
        Thursday - Red
        Friday - White
        Saturday - Yellow

 So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie - not
 white which is Friday's (almost a week old)!

 The colors go alphabetically by color Blue - Green - Red -
 White - Yellow.  Monday through Saturday.  Very easy to
 remember.

 I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store
 and sure enough the bread wrappers DO have different twist
 ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different
 colors.

 We learn something new everyday!!!  Enjoy fresh bread when
 you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

 Pass this information on to friends so they also can be informed.

 --- Ava Hildreth
 --- ava1950@earthlink.net

 This smells like an Urban Legend.  I went to
      http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org
 and searched the internet to the extent of my abilities.  My
 wife says that the ones with twisties do come in different
 colors, but that some have square plastic ties with dates on
 them.  I still doubt that all bread compaies are this uniform.

Top
Subj:     Zits Sunday Comic Strip (S910)
          by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman on 6/22/2014
Source: http://comicskingdom.com/zits/2014-06-22
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.....Click 'HERE' to see an enlargement.
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Top
Subj:     Eating Dirt In A Restaurant (S840d)
          From: Bonehead Of The Day Award
          on 1/20/2013
 Source: http://en.rocketnews24.com/2013/01/20/we-get-the-
.........dirt-on-this-seasons-fad-ingredient-hint-its-dirt/

 There is a chic French restaurant in Tokyo's Gotanda
 district known to those in-the-know. It's called Ne
 Quittez Pas, and it is famous for using high-quality
 seafood and produce from Kanagawa's Misaki region.
 However, they've just unveiled a new full-course menu
 created around a rather peculiar ingredient: actual dirt.

 Click 'HERE' to read and see about this interesting full-
 course menu.

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Subj:     Banned Doritos Super Bowl Commercial
          From: James Emerson on Facebook (S894d)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/_YAiCyzMKPE

 How far will a woman go for a little taste of Doritos? Click
 'HERE' to see this cute, short, banned Doritos Super Bowl ad.

Top
Subj:     How To Read Bar Codes And Plu's (S901)
          From: Ava Schauer on Facebook
 Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/93379392245317148/
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Click 
 to see an enlargement.
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Top
Subj:     Kate Upton Banned Super Bowl Commercial (S891d)
          Posted by kateuptoncatdaddy
          From: tom on 2/5/2014
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/v85xuRGwNbA

 This advertisement for Carl's Junior was banned from the
 2012 Super Bowl ads because it was too HOT for TV!  Click
 'HERE' to see this very sexy burger ad.

Top
Subj:     The Popinator (S819d)
          From: Wimp.com on 1/26/2012
Photo from Uncrate.com...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/b1cz8IasV4w
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/thepopinator/
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The Popinator instantly deliver
popcorn into a person's mouth
just by saying the word "pop".
It is able to pinpoint where in
the room the person is and shoot a
piece of popcorn up to 15 feet.
Photo from YouTube.com
 Click 'HERE' for to see this cute, wonderful invention.
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Subj: The Truth About The Popinator
 Source3: http://www.youtube.com/
..........embed/DIdxdM4QTY8
A voice-activated cannon fires
popcorn into your mouth? CNN's
Jeanne Moos reports it's too
Photo from YouTube.com
 good to be entirely true.  Click 'HERE' to see CNN's
 Jeanne Moos report.
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Top
Subj:     Selling Peaches Door To Door (S833)
          From: darrelldre on 10/30/2012

 A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.  He knocked
 on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a
 very sheer negligee answered the door.  He raised his basket
 to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy
 some peaches?"

 She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked,
 "Are they as firm as this?"

 He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear
 ran from his eye.

 Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking,
 "Are they nice and pink like this?"

 The farmer again said, "Yes, ma'am," and a tear came from
 his other eye.

 Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked,
 "And are they as fuzzy as this?"

 He again said, "Yes, ma'am," and broke down just a crying.

 She asked, "Why on earth are you crying, honey?"

 Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the
 flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, I voted
 for Obama, and now I think I'm gonna' get screwed out of my
 peaches...

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Subj:     Candorville Comic Strip (S988)
          By Darrin Bell on 8/13/2015
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/candorville/2015/08/13
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Subj:     Fantastic Delites Free Vending Machine
          From: Wimp.com on 7/13/2012 (S809d)
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/R8RIqJLUYSE
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/freesnacks/

 How far will people go for the taste of Fantastic
 Delites as a free snacks?  We built a machine and
 took it to the streets to find out.

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, funny vending machine.

Top
Subj:     Amazing Frozen Lemons (S821)
          From: rfslick on 10/7/2012
 Source: http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/lemons.asp

., this is a food article, and NOT a joke.
......It's worth trying, if it's just for the taste?
......All it is...  is a frozen lemon.

 Many professionals in restaurants and eateries are using or
 consuming the entire lemon and nothing is wasted.

 How can you use the whole lemon without waste?

 Simple.. place the lemon in the freezer section of your
 refrigerator. Once the lemon is frozen, get your grater,
 and shred the whole lemon (no need to peel it)and sprinkle
 it on top of your foods.  Sprinkle it to your vegetable
 salad, ice cream, soup, noodles,spaghetti sauce, rice,
 sushi, fish dishes.

 All of the foods will unexpectedly have a wonderful taste,
 something that you may have never tasted before.  Most
 likely, you only think of lemon juice and vitamin C. Not
 anymore.

 Now that you've learned this lemon secret, What's the
 major advantage of using the whole lemon other than
 preventing waste and adding new taste to your dishes?

 Well, you see lemon peels contain as much as 5 to 10
 times more vitamins than the lemon juice itself.  And
 yes, that's what you've been wasting.  But from now on,
 by following this simple procedure of freezing the whole
 lemon, then grating it on top of your dishes, you can
 consume all of those nutrients and get even healthier.

 It's also good that lemon peels are health rejuvenators
 in eradicating toxic elements in the body.

 So place your lemon in your freezer, and then grate it
 on your meal every day. It is a key to make your foods
 tastier and you get to live healthier and longer!  That's
 the lemon secret!  Better late than NEVER!  The surprising
 benefits of lemon!

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Subj:     David Letterman - Harrison Ford Tells A Joke
          From: Mr. Anonymous on 7/22/2011 (S758d in Fuck)
..........Source: (Removed from YouTube.com)

 (See 'Fries From Jack In The Box' in Food_Etc2)

 On July 21,2011, Harrison Ford appeared on Late Show w/David
 Letterman.  Click 'HERE' to hear Harrison tell the joke about
 a lady in a grocery store who wanted to buy some broccoli.

Top
Subj:     What Flavor Is Extracted From Orchids?
          in Trivia Bits by Paul Paquet (S911d)
          From: ContraCosta Times on 6/28/2014
Photo from Creators.com
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Top
Subj:     Buddy Hackett on the Dean Martin Show
          From: tom on 4/29/2012 (S798d)
Photo from Veengle.com...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/GMXS6z9g7wE
 Source2: http://video.staged.com/localshops/
..........buddy_hackett_on_the_dean_martin_show

 In this episode of the Dean Martin Show, Buddy Hackett
 tells his "Pizza" adventure story.  Click 'HERE' to
 watch these two best friends have fun.

Top
Subj:     The Dinner Party (S541)
          From: jbcary1 on 5/24/2007

 A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a
 regular basis and socialize.  As a result, about 10 couples
 formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a
 different neighbors' house each month.

 Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
 When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the
 dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to
 outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best
 that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.

 A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook
 and decided to have mushroom smothered steak.  When she went
 to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for
 a small can was more than she wanted to pay.  She then told
 her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they
 are too expensive."

 He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some
 of those mushrooms?  There are plenty of them right in the
 creek bed."

 She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard
 that wild mushrooms are poison."

 He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating
 them all the time and it never has affected them."

 After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try
 and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked
 some.

 She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them,
 sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her
 smothered steak.

 Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the
 yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful.  She even put
 some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.

 Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.  All
 morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't
 seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

 The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from
 town to come out and help her serve.  She had on a white apron
 and a little cap on her head.  It was first class all the way.

 After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and
 relax and socialize.  The men were visiting and the women
 started to gossip a bit.

 About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen
 and whispered in Susie's ear.  She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot
 just died."

 With this news, Susie went into hysterics.  After she finally
 calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had
 happened.

 The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of
 it.  I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as
 quick as I can get there.  We'll give everyone enemas and
 we will pump out everyone's stomach.  Everything will be
 fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."

 It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren
 as the ambulance was coming down the road.  When they got
 there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and
 a stomach pump.  The doctor arrived shortly thereafter.  One
 by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave
 them an enema and pumped out their stomach.

 After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and
 said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."

 They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the
 living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and
 said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never
 even stopped!

Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S1034)
          By Brian Crane on 11/9/2016
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2016/11/09
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Top
Subj:     Finger Food with Fingers (S971d)
          Made by National Geographic
          From: From: bill7808 on 8/16/2015

 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/LG3d79V6xsA

 Once a year, the Big Apple hosts a unique dinner - the annual
 gala of the Explorer's Club. The highlight of the evening is
 the cocktail hour, where the finger food might have legs, a
 face, or even a tongue.  Click 'HERE' to see the story.

Top
 Subj:     Part of:  A Little History From the 1500s in FACTS5

 They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung
 over the fire.  Every day they lit the fire and added things
 to the pot.  They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much
 meat.  They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
 in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next
 day.  Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there
 for quite a while -- hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot,
 peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

 Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite
 special.  When visitors came over, they would hang up their
 bacon to show off.  It was a sign of wealth that a man "could
 bring home the bacon."  They would cut off a little to share
 with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

 Those with money had plates made of pewter.  Food with a high
 acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,
 causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often
 with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were
 considered poisonous.

 Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a
 piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl.  Often
 trenchers were made from stale pays and bread which was so
 old and hard that they could use them for quite some time.
 Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold
 got into the wood and old bread.  After eating off wormy
 moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

 Bread was divided according to status.  Workers got the burnt
 bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got
 the top, or "upper crust."

 Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey.  The combination
 would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days.  Someone
 walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare
 them for burial.  They were laid out on the kitchen table for
 a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat
 and drink and wait and see if they would wake up hence the
 custom of holding a "wake."

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon III (S959)
          By Dan Piraro on 6/4/2015
Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/june-4-2015/
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Subj:     More Short Food Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm (S982)
          By Mike Peters on 11/4/2015
Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php
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Subj:     All Men Should Make Coffee For Their Women (S976)
          From: Teena Ferris Miller on Facebook
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/photos
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.(Also see 'Who Should Brew The Coffee?' in Food_Etc2)
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Subj:     Legos Coffee Mug (S931)
          From: Brandi Rahill on Facebook
 Source1: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/ee
..........3c/?cpg=nngnsorn&nan_pid=1812785789
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..........You can buy this cute mug at the above source for $19.99.
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Top
Subj:     Periodic Table of Elements Coffee Mug (S908 in Chemestry)
          Made by Neurons
          From: George Takei on 12/5/2013
 Source: http://www.amazon.com/Father-Periodic-Table-Elements-
.........Coffee/dp/B00D62660C/ref=sr_1_12?tag=ohmy0c-20
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 I'd make a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
 This coffee mug is elemental.
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Top
Subj:     Did You Hug Your Mug Today? (S893d)
          From: Etsy.com on 2/25/2014
Source: http://img0.etsystatic.com/017/0/82
........86383/il_340x270.546238448_tjhr.jpg
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Subj:     Coffee Cup Sign (S890d)
          From: Larry Garland on Facebook of 1/27/2014
 Source: Photos of Whole Latte Love
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Top
Subj:     Coffee Filter Cartoon Joke (S889d)
          From: George Takei on 1/23/2014
 Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sydesjokes/11931690504/
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Top
Subj:     Book of Coffee (S880)
          From: Rucas Castro on Facebook on 11/16/2013
 Source: Facebook Photos
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Subj:     Coffee Sign (S876)
          From: Whole Latte Love on Facebook on 10/23/2013
 Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/59602395041429933/
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Subj:     Coffee Cup Tastes Coffee (S873)
          From: Whole Latte Love on Facebook on 9/28/2013
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=513597148734984&set=
.........a.415519141876119.1073741826.401967509897949&type=1&theater
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Top
Subj:     Monday Coffee (S872)
          From: Linda Lemelin on Facebook on 9/24/2013
 Source: http://www.pinterest.com/kloveshearts/coffee-days/
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Top
Subj:     Stressed Pillow (S845)
          From Zazzle.com
          For sale for $63.50
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Top
Subj:     Bizarro II Cartoon (S836)
          By Dan Piraro on 1/15/2013
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/january-15-2013/
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In ten years, no one will know that this
was a joke about the movie "Life of Pi."

Click  for other "Life of Pie" pictures.

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Subj:     Shoe Comic Strip (S788)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 2/18/12
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2012/02/18
 Click 'HERE' to consider the danger and benefits of omelets.
 

Top
Subj:     Anti-Theft Lunch Bag (S784)
          From: Steven Sanfilippo on 1/23/2012
 Source: Facebook
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Top
Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S753)
          By Dan Piraro on 6/18/2011
Drawing from CafePress.com
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/june-18-2011/
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon about the proper
 temperature to drink wine.
 

Top
Subj:     Garfield Comic Strip (S781)
          By Jim Davis on 1/2/2012
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/garfield/2012/01/02
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From: sam.hutkins on 5/1/2015 (S954 in Doctor-supp)
 A guy has a carrot in his ear and a potato in his nose.
 He goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, "You haven't
 been eating right."
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Subj:     Two Popsicle Stick Riddles (S824, S829)
          From: Unilever
................Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632
 Source: www.Popsicle.com
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                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
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..............................Mad Girl w/Food  from PicZo.com
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