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Subj:     Funeral Supplement
                 (Includes 20 jokes and articles, 19 1097n,14,cL3f,wXT2b,9)

Tombstone  from
cookpat.geo on 10/24/2004
Includes the following:  Bizarro Cartoon II (S857)
.........................Bagpiper At A Pauper's Funeral (S676)
.........................Archie Bunker Gives A Eulogy - Video (S837)
.........................Preparing For The Future (S625)
.........................Tom Hanks Cracks Up Memorial Service - Video (S818)
.........................Angry, Old Man Dies (S793)
.........................Coffin Prank - Video (S736)
.........................Widow Writes Obituary (S153)
.........................The Funeral - Video (S690)
.........................Widow Writes Obituary II (S621)
.........................The Haka For Mr. Tamatea - Video (S972)
.........................Memorial Stone (S321)
                         Short Funeral Jokes
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S785)
..............................Goldfish Funeral - Video (S708b)
..............................Mother Goose And Grimm (S714)
..............................Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S634c)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon III (S929)
..............................Flo and Friends Comic Strip (S612c)
..............................Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S726)
..............................Shoe Comic Strip II (S879)

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Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon II (S857)
          By Dan Piraro on 6/14/2013
Source: www.bizarro.com/comics/june-14-2013/
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Subj:     Bagpiper At A Pauper's Funeral (S676, S782)
          From: allenbergman in 2009
      and From: darrelldre 1n 2010

 (Also see 'Minister's First Funeral' in Preacher-supp)

 As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a
 funeral director to play at a grave side service for a home-
 less man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to
 be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.

 As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and
 being a typical man I didn't stop for directions.  I finally
 arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently
 gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.  There were only
 the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

 I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.  I
 went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault
 lid was already in place.

 I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.  The
 workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.
 I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family
 and friends.  I played like I've never played before for
 this homeless man.  And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the
 workers began to weep.  They wept, I wept, we all wept
 together.  When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and
 started for my car.  Though my head hung low my heart was
 full.

 As I was opened the door to my car, I heard one of the
 workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin'
 like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks
 for twenty years."

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Subj:     Archie Bunker Gives A Eulogy
          From: tom in 2013 (S837d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/LSknapintns
 Source2: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Bunker
 Source3: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_in_the_Family

 Archibald 'Archie' Bunker is a fictional New Yorker in the 1970s
 top-rated American television sitcom All in the Family and its
 spin-off Archie Bunker's Place, played to acclaim by Carroll
 O'Connor.

 Jerome 'Stretch' Cunningham, played by James Cromwell, was
 Archie's friend and co-worker from the loading dock.  In one
 episode, Stretch dies of a heart attack. Archie reluctantly
 agrees to deliver Stretch Cunningham's eulogy, unaware that
 his departed friend was Jewish.

 Click 'HERE' to see this very moving episode.

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Subj:     Preparing For The Future (S625)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/31/2008

 It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged
 mother, but John felt that he must.

 "Mom, you are no longer a spring chicken and you do
 need to think ahead of what will happen in the future.
 Why don't we make arrangements about when..... you
 know... when.... God forbid... you pass on?"

 The mother didn't say anything, just sat there staring
 ahead.

 "I mean, Mom, like.... how do you want to finally go?
 Do you want to be buried? Cremated?"

 There was yet another long pause. Then the mother looked
 up and said, "Son, why don't you simply surprise me?"

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Subj:     Tom Hanks At A Memorial Service
          From: Mel's Video of the Day
..........in 2012 (S818d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/DsQhB4tJRxw
 Source2: www.coolestone.com/media/4547/
..........Tom-Hanks-Cracks-Up-Memorial-Service/

 An emotional Tom Hanks shares a funny story at Michael
 Clarke Duncan's memorial service.  Click 'HERE' to hear
 this funny, yet very emotional, true story.

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Subj:     Angry, Old Man Dies (S793)
          From: virv on 3/23/2012

 An old man and woman were married for many years, even though
 they hated each other.  Whenever there was a confrontation,
 yelling could be heard deep into the night.  The old man would
 shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave
 and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

 Neighbors feared him.  They believed he practiced magic because
 of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbor-
 hood.  The old man liked the fact that he was feared.  To every-
 one's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.  His wife
 had a closed casket at the funeral.

 After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began
 to party as if there was no tomorrow.  Her neighbors, concerned
 for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be
 able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest
 of your life?"

 The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig.  I had him
 buried upside down.  And I know he won't ask for directions."

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Subj:     Coffin Prank
          From: hilary.miller05
..........in 2011 (S736d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/OvPQZlFuU_Q

 I don't usually forward TV prank videos, but this
 one is cute.  Click 'HERE' to see this silly video.

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Subj:     Widow Writes Obituary (S153, S478b)
          From: mbucher on 01/05/2000

 The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.
 "How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked a woman.
 "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely.
 "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?"
 "Yes ma'am."
 "Got some paper?"
 "Yes ma'am."
 "Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'."
 "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly.
 "That's it."
 "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word
  minimum.
 "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman.  Now let me think a
  minute... okay, got  a pencil?"
 "Yes ma'am."
 "Got some paper?"
 "Yes, ma'am."
  Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale."

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Subj:     The Funeral
          From: darrellvip
..........in 2010 (S690d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/YTJeaOXCjXw

 Click 'HERE' to see this very beautiful video.

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Subj:     Widow Writes Obituary II (S621)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/12/2008

 When the husband finally died, his wife put the
 death notice in the paper, but added that he died
 of gonorrhea.

 No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend
 of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You
 know very well that he died of diarrhea, not
 gonorrhea.'

 Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so
 of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought
 it would be better for posterity to remember him as
 a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'

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Subj:     The Haka For Mr. Tamatea (S972d)
          From: From: bill7808 in 2015
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/M6Qtc_zlGhc
 Source2: www.hefty.co/dawson-tamatea/

 The school wrote: "The entire school performing the Haka
 during the arrival of Mr. Tamatea in the hearse."  Click
 'HERE' to see this very emotional and powerful performance.

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Subj:     Memorial Stone (S321)
          From: JBCARY1 on 3/24/2003

 A woman's husband dies.  He has only $20,000 to his
 name.  After everything is done at the funeral home
 and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there
 is no money left.

 The friend says "How can that be?  You told me he still
 had $20,000 left a few days before he died.  How can
 you be broke?"

 The widow says, "Well, the funeral home cost me $6,000.
 And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to
 the temple, so that was another $2,000.  The rest went
 for the memorial stone.

 The friend says, $12,000 for the memorial stone?  My
 God, how big was it?"

 Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats."


Subj:     Short Funeral Jokes
 

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Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S785)
          By Dan Piraro in 2012
Source: www.bizarro.com/comics/january-26-2012/
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Subj:     Goldfish Funeral
          From: rfslick (S708b)
..........in 2010 (d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/zjdzgm00qGs
 (Also see "Little Tommy's Fish Dies" and "Dead Goldfish" in Funeral)

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, forty-two second video.
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Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm (S714)
          By Mike Peters in 2010 (in Fairy Tale Supp)
Source: www.grimmy.com/comics.php
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From: tom on 1/5/2013 (S834 in Slogans and Proverbs)
 "After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box."
    -- Italian proverb

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Subj:     Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S634c)
          By Wiley Miller on 3/1/2009
 Source: www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2009/03/01
 This comic strip is very cute.  Click 'HERE' to see it.
 

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Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon III (S929)
          By Dan Piraro on 11/7/2014
Source: www.bizarro.com/comics/november-7-2014/
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From: darrellvip on 1/6/2010 (S677b)
     Ashes to ashes
      Dust to dust
 If Liberace ate pussy
 He'd still be with us.
 

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Subj:     Flo and Friends Comic Strip
          by Jenny Campbell
..........in 9/28/2008 (S612c)
 Source: www.gocomics.com/floandfriends/2008/09/28
 This comic strip deals with funerals and senior citizens.
 You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S726)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins
          on 12/12/2010
 Source: www.gocomics.com/shoe/2010/12/12
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, Sunday comic strip about
 funerals and politicians.
 

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Subj:     Shoe Comic Strip II (S879)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 11/11/13
Source: www.gocomics.com/shoe/2013/11/11
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............................From RFSlick on 6/11/05
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