Subj: Funeral Supplement
(Includes 20 jokes and articles, 19 1097n,14,cL3f,wXT2b,9)
cookpat.geo on 10/24/2004
Subj: Bizarro Cartoon II (S857)
By Dan Piraro on 6/14/2013
Subj: Bagpiper At A Pauper's Funeral (S676, S782)
From: allenbergman in 2009
and From: darrelldre 1n 2010
(Also see 'Minister's First Funeral' in Preacher-supp)
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs.
Recently I was asked by a
funeral director to play at a grave side service for a home-
less man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to
be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the
backwoods, I got lost; and
being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally
arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently
gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only
the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to
men for being late. I
went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault
lid was already in place.
I didn't know what else to do,
so I started to play. The
workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.
I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family
and friends. I played like I've never played before for
this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the
workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept
together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and
started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was
As I was opened the door to my
car, I heard one of the
workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin'
like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks
for twenty years."
Archie Bunker Gives A Eulogy
From: tom in 2013 (S837d-iFrame)
Archibald 'Archie' Bunker is
a fictional New Yorker in the 1970s
top-rated American television sitcom All in the Family and its
spin-off Archie Bunker's Place, played to acclaim by Carroll
Jerome 'Stretch' Cunningham,
played by James Cromwell, was
Archie's friend and co-worker from the loading dock. In one
episode, Stretch dies of a heart attack. Archie reluctantly
agrees to deliver Stretch Cunningham's eulogy, unaware that
his departed friend was Jewish.
Click 'HERE' to see this very moving episode.
Subj: Preparing For The Future (S625)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/31/2008
It was a difficult subject to
bring before his aged
mother, but John felt that he must.
"Mom, you are no longer a spring
chicken and you do
need to think ahead of what will happen in the future.
Why don't we make arrangements about when..... you
know... when.... God forbid... you pass on?"
The mother didn't say anything,
just sat there staring
"I mean, Mom, like.... how do
you want to finally go?
Do you want to be buried? Cremated?"
There was yet another long pause.
Then the mother looked
up and said, "Son, why don't you simply surprise me?"
Tom Hanks At A Memorial Service
From: Mel's Video of the Day
..........in 2012 (S818d-iFrame)
An emotional Tom Hanks shares
a funny story at Michael
Clarke Duncan's memorial service. Click 'HERE' to hear
this funny, yet very emotional, true story.
Subj: Angry, Old Man Dies (S793)
From: virv on 3/23/2012
An old man and woman were married
for many years, even though
they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation,
yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would
shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave
and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They
believed he practiced magic because
of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbor-
hood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To every-
one's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife
had a closed casket at the funeral.
After the burial, she went straight
to the local bar and began
to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned
for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be
able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest
of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and
said, "Let him dig. I had him
buried upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."
..........in 2011 (S736d-iFrame)
I don't usually forward TV prank
videos, but this
one is cute. Click 'HERE' to see this silly video.
Subj: Widow Writes Obituary (S153, S478b)
From: mbucher on 01/05/2000
The phone rang in the obituary
department of the local newspaper.
"How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked a woman.
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely.
"Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?"
"Got some paper?"
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'."
"That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly.
"I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a
minute... okay, got a pencil?"
"Got some paper?"
Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale."
..........in 2010 (S690d-iFrame)
Click 'HERE' to see this very beautiful video.
Subj: Widow Writes Obituary II (S621)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/12/2008
When the husband finally died,
his wife put the
death notice in the paper, but added that he died
No sooner were the papers delivered
when a friend
of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You
know very well that he died of diarrhea, not
Replied the widow, 'I nursed
him night and day so
of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought
it would be better for posterity to remember him as
a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'
Subj: The Haka For Mr. Tamatea (S972d)
From: From: bill7808 in 2015
wrote: "The entire school performing the Haka
during the arrival of Mr. Tamatea in the hearse." Click
'HERE' to see this very emotional and powerful performance.
Subj: Memorial Stone (S321)
From: JBCARY1 on 3/24/2003
A woman's husband dies.
He has only $20,000 to his
name. After everything is done at the funeral home
and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there
is no money left.
The friend says "How can that
be? You told me he still
had $20,000 left a few days before he died. How can
you be broke?"
The widow says, "Well, the funeral
home cost me $6,000.
And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to
the temple, so that was another $2,000. The rest went
for the memorial stone.
The friend says, $12,000 for
the memorial stone? My
God, how big was it?"
Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats."
Subj: Short Funeral Jokes
Subj: Bizarro Cartoon (S785)
By Dan Piraro in 2012
From: rfslick (S708b)
..........in 2010 (d-iFrame)
to see this cute, forty-two second video.
Subj: Mother Goose And Grimm (S714)
By Mike Peters in 2010 (in Fairy Tale Supp)
From: tom on 1/5/2013 (S834 in Slogans
"After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box."
-- Italian proverb
Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S634c)
By Wiley Miller on 3/1/2009
Subj: Bizarro Cartoon III (S929)
By Dan Piraro on 11/7/2014
From: darrellvip on 1/6/2010 (S677b)
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If Liberace ate pussy
He'd still be with us.
Flo and Friends Comic Strip
by Jenny Campbell
..........in 9/28/2008 (S612c)
Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S726)
By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins
Subj: Shoe Comic Strip II (S879)
By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 11/11/13
............................From RFSlick on 6/11/05