Subj:.....Hollywood Squares (S237, S603)           From: Cypriot on 8/3/2001       and From: joych on 7/29/2008   Photo from Wat.Midco.net...

Peter Marshall:  According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy
                 on a woman?
Redd Foxx:       I wouldn't have it any other way...

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Peter Marshall:  Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
Paul Lynde:      Yes, but he still won't go up to your
                 apartment.

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Peter Marshall:  According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at
                 a party and you think he's really attractive,
                 is it okay to come out directly and ask him
                 if he's married?
Rose Marie:      No, wait until morning.

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Peter Marshall:  Do female frogs croak?
Paul Lynde:      If you hold their little heads under water.

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Peter Marshall:  In Hawaiian, does it take more than three
                 words to say "I love you?"
Vincent Price:   No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
                 twenty.

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Peter Marshall:  Prometheus was tied to the top of a
                 mountain by the gods because he had given
                 something to man. What did he give us?
Paul Lynde:      I don't know what you got, but I got a
                 sports shirt.

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Peter Marshall:  As you grow older, do you tend to gesture
                 more or less with your hands while you are
                 talking?
Rose Marie:      You ask me one more growing older question,
                 Peter ... and I'll give you a gesture you'll
                 never forget!

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Peter Marshall:  If you find someone lying unconscious in
                 the street, should you do anything?
George Goebel:   I'd probably crawl around him I guess.

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Peter Marshall:  Charley, you've just decided to grow
                 strawberries.  Are you going to get any
                 during your first year?
Charley Weaver:  Of course not, Peter.  I'm too busy growing
                 strawberries!

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Peter Marshall:  In bowling, what's a perfect score?
Rose Marie:      Ralph, the pin boy.

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Peter Marshall:  Eddie, according to the Institute of
                 Motivational Research, a wife should be
                 beware if another woman takes an interest
                 in a certain item of her husband's clothing.
                 What item?
Ed Asner:        Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind.

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Peter Marshall:  It is considered in bad taste to discuss
                 two subjects at nudist camps.  One is
                 politics.  What is the other?
Paul Lynde:      Tape measures.

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Peter Marshall:  True or false:  A pea can last as long as
                 5,000 years.
George Gobel:    Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

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Peter Marshall:  Is there a weight limit for bags on airline
                 flights in this country?
Charley Weaver:  If she can fit under the seat, she can fly.

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Peter Marshall:  During a tornado, are you safer in the
                 bedroom or in the closet?
Rose Marie:      Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in
                 the bedroom.

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Peter Marshall:  True or false, George:  Experts say there
                 are only seven or eight things in the world
                 dumber than an ant.
George Gobel:    Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em.

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From: pns on 1/14/2002 (S259)

Peter Marshall: If you're going to make a parachute jump,
                you should be at least how high?
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

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Peter Marshall: You've been having trouble going to sleep.
                Are you probably a man or a woman?
Don Knotts:     That's what's been keeping me awake.

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Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish
                as you get older?
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

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Peter Marshall: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and
                "Can't Get Enough"?
George Gobel:   I don't know but it's coming from the
                next apartment.

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Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde:     Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

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Peter Marshall: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
Marty Allen:    Only after lights out.

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Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will
                usually wag his tail. What will a
                goose do?
Paul Lynde:     Make him bark.

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Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what
                would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde:     Whatever it is, it would never be afraid
                of the dark.

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Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is their anything
                wrong with getting into the habit of
                kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

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Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour guide
                starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
                What does that mean?
George Goebel:  Cattle crossing.

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Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part
                of your body - what is it?
Paul Lynde:     Mine may be abused but it certainly
                isn't neglected!

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Peter Marshall: Charley, what do you call a pig that
                weighs more than 150 pounds?
Charley Weaver: A divorc?e.

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Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa
                put horseradish on his head, what was he
                trying to do?
George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

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Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of
                time, your wife or your elephant?
Paul Lynde:     Who told you about my elephant?

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Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is
                responsible for its sex?
Charley Weaver: Well, I'll lend him the car but the
                rest is up to him.

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Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago,
                when he was 41 years old.  Now he says it
                was "one of the best things I ever did."
                What was it?
Marty Allen:    Rhonda Fleming.

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Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he
                firmly believes in them and has actually
                seen them on at least two occasions.
                What are they?
Charley Weaver: His feet.

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From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/7/2002 (S265b)

Peter Marshall: What are the two things women should never
                do in bed with their husbands?
Paul Lynde:     Point and Laugh

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Peter Marshall: In the Arctic the most fearsome animal is
                the polar bear, what is the only thing a
                polar bear is afraid of?
Paul Lynde:     A lonely Eskimo!!

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Peter Marshall: You are traveling at a high rate of speed
                down a steep hill, and the brakes on your
                car stop working.  What should you do?"
Paul Lynde:     "Honk if you love Jesus.."

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Peter Marshall: In a survey of teenage mothers, most of
                them said they were listening to this when
                they got pregnant - what is it?
Paul Lynde:     A pack of lies!

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Peter Marshall: What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for
                that other cattle aren't?
Paul Lynde:     They give milk... and cookies, but I don't
                recommend the cookies.

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Peter Marshall: According to Amy Vanderbilt, what is the
                maximum length of time you and your fianc?
                should be engaged?
Rose Marie:     Engaged in what?

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Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently said, "I am sorry.
                I am sorry for them both."  Who was he
                referring to?
Paul Lynde:     His fans.

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Peter Marshall: On what night is a woman most likely to
                be molested?
Rose Marie:     With my luck, it's probably tonight --
                and I'm working.

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Peter Marshall: Your sheep has a temperature of 102.
                Is she normal?
Burt Reynolds:  People think I'm not normal because
                I keep taking her temperature.

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Peter Marshall: Why is the booby bird called the booby bird?
Karen Valentine:Because they have big... feet.

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Peter Marshall: You're a 71-year-old man who has lost
                interest in sex. Does your doctor have
                anything to help you?
Charley Weaver: No, but his nurse does.

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Peter Marshall: According to "Cosmo," will you probably
                be helped in overcoming your shyness by
                choosing an extroverted, outgoing husband?
Rose Marie:     Gosh, Pete, I did that once and his wife
                caught us.

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Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley
                Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter
                With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver. That's why they asked the
                question.

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Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object which he
                loves to cling to.  Should you try to
                break him of his habit?
Joan Rivers:    Yes. It's daddy's turn.

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(new)
Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother's
                womb, can you detect light?
Paul Lynde:     Only during ballet practice.

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Peter Marshall: True or false...a pea can last as long
                as 5,000 years.
George Gobel:   Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...

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From: Grampsboyd on 9/6/2002

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter
                to have more than one daddy?
Paul Lynde:     Why, that bitch!

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Peter Marshall: What entertainer in Las Vegas makes more
                money that anyone else?
George Gobel:   I know who she is, but I don't think she
                told me her real name.