Subj: Movies_Etc Supp2 (Gz)
(Includes 29 jokes and articles)
Laurel and Hardy
from
darrel94590 on 8/5/2005
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Subj: Movies_Etc Supp2 (Gz) (Includes 29 jokes and articles) |
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Laurel and Hardy
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| Subj:
SNL's Cork Soakers (S510)
From: edapsmas on 11/1/2006 |
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Picture from
Yahoo! Video |
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Subj: A Stranger
Moved In Our Home (S528b)
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 3/6/2007
A few months before I was born,
my Dad met a stranger who
was new to our small Tennessee
town. From the beginning,
Dad was fascinated with this
enchanting newcomer and soon
invited him to live with our
family. The stranger was
quickly accepted and was around
to welcome me into the
world a few months later.
As I grew up, I never questioned
his place in my family.
In my young mind, he had a special
niche. My parents were
complementary instructors: Mom
taught me the word of God,
and Dad taught me to obey it.
But the stranger -- he was
our storyteller. He would
keep us spellbound for hours on
end with adventures, mysteries
and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything
about politics, history or
science, he always knew the
answers about the past, under-
stood the present and even seemed
able to predict the
future! He took my family
to the first major league ball
game. He made me laugh,
and he made me cry. The stranger
never stopped talking, but Dad
didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly
while the rest of us
were shushing each other to
listen to what he had to say,
and she would go to her room
and read her books (I wonder
now if she ever prayed for the
stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with
certain moral convictions,
but the stranger never felt
obligated to honor them.
Profanity, for example, was
not allowed in our home...
not from us, our friends or
any visitors. Our longtime
visitor, however, got away with
four-letter words that
burned my ears and made my dad
squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad was a teetotaler who didn't
permit alcohol in the
home, not even for cooking.
But the stranger encouraged
us to try it on a regular basis.
He made cigarettes look
cool, cigars manly and pipes
distinguished. He talked
freely (much too freely!) about
sex.
His comments were sometimes blatant,
sometimes suggestive,
and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early
concepts about relationships
were influenced strongly by
the stranger. Time after
time, he opposed the values of
my parents, yet he was seldom
rebuked... and NEVER asked
to leave.
More than fifty years have passed
since the stranger moved
in with our family. He
has blended right in and is not
nearly as fascinating as he
was at first. Still, if you
were to walk into my parent's
den today, you would still
find him sitting over in his
corner, waiting for someone
to listen to him talk and watch
him draw his pictures. His
name?...
We just call him, "TV."
This is Rex Barker reminding
you that while there is
certainly some great (albeit
limited) programming on
television, it is not called
the “Boob Tube” for no reason.
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Subj:
TV Tetris In Japan (S546 in Asian)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/25/2007 |
The Japanese are so weird, and
yet, so awesome. This
25,000 KB movie is big, but
too good to not put on my
site. You can view it
at the source above, or on my
site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Funny
English Sub-Titles From Hong Kong Films (S515b)
From: From: danschu63 on 12/1/2006
Source: http://www.esatclear.ie/~irish.trade/bj000004.htm
1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
3. Gun wounds again?
4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
10. You always use violence.
I should've ordered
glutinous
rice chicken.
11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
12. You daring lousy guy.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.
15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
19. This will be of fine service
for you, you bag of the
scum.
I am sure you will not mind that I remove your
manhoods
and leave them out on the dessert flour for
your aunts
to eat. [sic, of course]
20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman!
I have captured you by the
short rabbits
and can now deliver you violently to your
gynecologist
for a thorough examination.
21. Greetings, large black person.
Let us not forget to
form a team
up together and go into the country to
inflict the
pain of our karate feets on some ass of
the giant
lizard person.
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Subj: Meeting
Paul Newman (S509b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/23/2006
A Michigan woman and her family
were vacationing in a small
New England town where Paul
Newman and his family often
visited. One Sunday morning
the woman got up early to take
a long walk.
After a brisk five-mile hike,
she decided to treat herself
to a double-dip chocolate ice
cream cone. She hopped in the
car, drove to the center of
the village and went straight to
the combination bakery/ice cream
parlor. There was only one
other patron in the store.
Paul Newman, sitting at the counter
having a doughnut and
coffee.
The woman's heart skipped a beat
as her eyes made contact
with those famous baby-blue
eyes. The actor nodded
graciously and the star-struck
woman smiled demurely.
"Pull yourself together!", she
chides herself. You're a
happily married woman with three
children. You're forty-
five-years old, not a teenager!
The clerk filled her order and
she took the double-dip
chocolate ice cream cone in
one hand and her change in the
other. Then when she went
out the door, avoiding even a
glance in Paul Newman's direction.
When she reached her car, she
realized that she had a handful
of change - but her other hand
was empty. Where's my ice
cream cone? Did I leave
it in the store?
Back into the shop she went,
expecting to see the cone still
in the clerk's hand or in a
holder on the counter or
something. But no ice
cream cone was in sight. With that,
she happened to look over at
Paul Newman. His face broke
into his familiar warm, friendly
grin and he said to the
woman,
"You put it in your purse."
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Subj: More
Short Movie Jokes
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Subj:
Welcome Back Kotter: Where Are They Now? (S600)
From: Television.aol.com on 7/14/2008 Photo from Everett Collection |
| Subj:
Robert DeNiro On Saturday Night Live (S585)
From: edapsmas on 4/8/2008 |
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Subj:
Celebrity Wax Figures (S585)
From: AOL Music on 4/7/2008 |
| Subj:
Casablanca In A PowerPoint (S585)
From: darrellvip on 4/6/2008 |
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Subj:
Four Funny Commercials (S577b)
From: aldavito on 1/28/2008 |
| Subj:
We Wish You A Merry Christmas (S569)
From: tom (in Christmas1) on 12/15/2007 |
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Subj:
Tom Hanks As 007 (S568b)
From: CKButch4Femme on 12/10/2007 Photo from Star-Palace |
| Subj:
Lord Of The Rings Parody (S567)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/29/2007 Source: http://www.magicthoughts.com/lordrings.html |
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Subj:
Writers' Strike (S566c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/26/2007 |
| Subj:
Contortionist (S552b in Other-Occup)
From: ginafm on 8/16/2007 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90By5VSaWR4 |
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Subj:.....Triumph,
The Insult Comic Dog, At The Tonys (S552b)
From: YouTube.com on 8/16/2007 |
| Subj:
Star Wars Premier In New York City (S551)
From: YouTube.com on 8/11/2007 (in ST1) Picture
from YouTube...
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Subj:
Paul Potts Sings Opera (S550 in Englishman)
From: samhutkins on 8/5/2007 |
| Subj:
Four Jay Leno Interviews (S549c)
From: rfslick on 7/21/2007 Photos from FemaleFirst.co.uk
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Subj:
On the Street Where You Live (S548b in Mus-Supp)
From: Media @ Large on 7/18/2007 Picture from Damav.com |
| Subj:
The Past And Black and White TV (S547)
From: rfslick on 7/7/2007 |
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Subj:
South Park On Wheel Of Fortune (S543c)
From: edapsmas on 6/14/2007 |
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Audrey Hepburn's "Beauty Tips" (S535)
From: darrell94590 on 4/20/2007 Photo from
PosterShop
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Subj:
Fred Astaire Tap Dancing (S534)
From: darrell94590 on 4/17/2007 |
| Subj:
Defense Against The Dark Arts (S533)
From: Entertainment Weekly in the April6,2007 Issue |
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Subj:
Movie Start, Then And Now (S531c)
From: edapsmas on 3/28/2007 |
| Subj:
Eddie Haskell, The Beaver, And Wally (S530c)
From: darrell94590 on 3/17/2007 |
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Subj:
World's Most Dangerous Comedian (S528)
From: darrell94590 on 2/28/2007 |
| Subj:
FCCFU (S517b)
From: JOELFALLON on 12/11/06 Source: http://www.fccfu.com/video/fccfu_lg.mov |
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Subj:
The Land of Sandra Dee - Poem (S509c)
From: darrell94590 on 10/23/2006 Picture from RTV Slovenija |
| Subj:
Mae West Quotation (S494c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/10/2006 |
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Subj:
A True Lone Ranger Story (S546 in Cowboy2)
From: Stupidity.org on 7/1/2007 Photo from Paul ? Sue's Hoempage |
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 2/21/2007
(S527b)
"The secret of staying young
is to live honestly, eat slowly,
and lie about your age."
-- Lucille Ball
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/11/2007 (S536b)
"The less secure a man is, the
more likely he is
to have extreme prejudices."
-- Clint Eastwood
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 5/28/2007
(S542b)
"I hate television. I hate it
as much as I hate peanuts.
But I can't stop eating peanuts."
-- Orson Welles
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 6/23/2007
(S545b)
"Beauty is in the eye of the
beholder and it may be
necessary from time to time
to give a stupid or
misinformed beholder a black
eye." -- Miss Piggy
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Smiley says Byes from
Imogenelumen on 8/8/2004 |
