.
.
>>>
Subj:     Movies, TV, And Plays Jokes
                 (Includes 70 jokes and articles, 03 1055n,8,cif,wYT2a4,7)

          Click "Here" for Movie_Etc-Supp
          Click "Here" for Movie_Etc-Supp2

..........Click Movies2 for more movies, etc.
 


Cameraman from
ARG! Cartoon Aimation Studio
Includes the following:  George Gobel On The Johnny Carson Show - Vid (S629 - Supp2)
.........................America's Got Talent - Video (S631b in Supp2)
.........................Pilobolus On Late Night With Conan O'Brien - Vid (S620-Sp2)
.........................Mary Poppins Stays At A Hotel (S136)
.........................Pilobolus at the 79th Oscars - Video (S620 in Supp2)
.........................SNL's Cork Soakers - Video (S510 in Supp2)
.........................A Stranger Moved In Our Home (S528b in Supp2)
.........................TV Tetris In Japan - Video (S546 - in Supp2)
.........................Funny English Sub-Titles From Hong Kong Films (S515b-Supp2)
.........................Robert DeNiro On Saturday Night Live - Video (S585 - Supp2)
.........................Meeting Paul Newman (S509b in Supp2)
.........................Tom Hanks Is James Bond, Spoof Trailer - Vid (S568b -Supp2)
.........................The Man Who Had No Face (S181 in Supp2)
.........................Famous Last Words From Movies (S625c in Supp2)
.........................Bailout Plan by Wanda Sykes - Jay Leno Show - Vid(S632-Sp2)
.........................Truths About Life I Learned
............................From Bad '80s Comedies(S208 in Supp2)
.........................Johnny Carson and Dom deLuise - Video (S627 in Supp2)
.........................Generic Disaster Movie Script (S79 in Supp2)
.........................
.........................Jimmy Fallon on America's Got Talent - Video (S967 in Supp)
.........................The Best Of JayWalking (S652 in Supp)
.........................WW II Movie Stars (S475 in Supp)
.........................Celebrity Christmas Voices (S466b in Supp)
.........................Poem - Black and White TV (S340b in Supp)
.........................How To Write A Block-Buster Movie (S399b in Supp)
.........................Alternative "Lord of the Rings" (S274e in Supp)
.........................Chick Flicks - Cartoon (S416 in Supp)
.........................Man Attends Mystery Play (S327 in Supp)
.........................Hollywood Squares (S237 in Supp)
.........................Playing Your Trumpet In A Movie (S272d in Supp)
.........................Saving Private Ryan (S91 in Supp)
.........................A Few Good Dentists (S302b in  Supp)
.........................93-FM Mate Match Show (S476c in Supp)
.........................If Schwarzenegger Was Gov Of Calif. (S217 in Supp)
.........................
.........................Laurel And Hardy, The Music Box - Videos (S671b, S810)
.........................Man Sleeps In Theater (S114)
.........................Things You Would Never Know Without Movies (S46)
.........................Stair Dance Scene In The Little Colonel Movie (S1028)
.........................Movie Titles for an Aging James Bond (S238)
.........................Man w/Ugly Name Wants To Act (S209, S623b)
.........................Pets On Stage (S171)
.........................Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (S161)
.........................Complete Home Entertainment Center - Cartoon (S411b)
.........................Switzers And Gibutosis In Movies (DU)
.........................Celebrity Love Child - Game (S462b)
                         Short Movie Jokes
..............................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S626b in Supp2)
..............................Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters - Video (S641b in Supp2)
..............................I Love Jesus, But I Drink A Little - Video/Audio (S632 in Supp2)
..............................When TV Was Cool (S627b in Supp2)
..............................Installing Your Digital TV Converter Box - Videos (S615 in Supp2)
..............................Next Season On Dancing With The Stars!! (S613b in Supp2)
..............................Happy Days' Actors (S612 in Supp2)
..............................Welcome Back Kotter: Where Are They Now? (S600 in Supp2)
..............................We Wish You A Merry Christmas - Video (S569 in Supp2)
..............................Celebrity Wax Figures (S585 in Supp2)
..............................Casablanca In A PowerPoint (S585 in Supp2)
..............................Four Funny Commercials - Videos (S577b in Supp2)
..............................Lord Of The Rings Parody - Video (S567 in Supp2)
..............................Writers' Strike (S566c in Supp2)
..............................Contortionist - Video (S552b in Supp2)
..............................Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog, At The Tonys - Video (S552b Supp2)
..............................Star Wars Premier In New York City - Video (S551 in Supp2)
..............................Paul Potts Sings Opera - Video (S550 in Supp2)
..............................Four Jay Leno Interviews - Video (S549c in Supp2)
..............................On the Street Where You Live - Video (S548b in Supp2)
..............................The Past And Black and White TV (S547 in Supp2)
..............................South Park On Wheel Of Fortune - Video (S543c in Supp2)
..............................Audrey Hepburn's "Beauty Tips" (S535 in Supp2)
..............................Fred Astaire Tap Dancing - Video (S534 in Supp2)
..............................Defense Against The Dark Arts (S533 in Supp2)
..............................Movie Start, Then And Now - PPS (S531c in Supp2)
..............................Eddie Haskell, The Beaver, And Wally (S530c in Supp2)
..............................World's Most Dangerous Comedian - Video (S528 in Supp2)
..............................FCCFU - Video (S517b in Supp2)
..............................The Land of Sandra Dee - Poem (S509c in Supp2)
..............................Mae West Quotation (S494c in Supp2)
..............................A True Lone Ranger Story - Video (S546 in Supp2)
..............................
..............................Paris Hilton On SNL - Video (S489c in Supp)
..............................Our Gang Comedies (S488 in Supp)
..............................McLain's Poetic Joke (S478b in Supp)
..............................Radio Prank Gone Wrong - Audio (S472b in Supp)
..............................Harry Potter And The Crystal Ball (S470b in Supp)
..............................41 Childhood Pictures Of The Stars (S465 in Supp)
..............................WatchFilms.com - Videos (S460b in Supp)
..............................
..............................Movie Quiz - Y E A H,    B A B Y (S127)
..............................American Idle - Video (S471)
..............................Son Gets Part In Play (S181)
..............................W. C. Fields Quotations (S460b)
..............................Finding Nemo Picture (S365b in Supp)
..............................Montana Survivor TV Series (S365b in Supp)
..............................Short Movie "Buggin You (S302 in Supp)
..............................Movie Quotations (S125b)
..............................Thought For The Day (S166)

Also see ACCIDENTS1   - 'Jerome Irving Rodale's Death'
         ARAB file    - 'Funny Quotes About Osama'
         ASCII ART I  - 'The Simsons'
.........ASIAN-CHINESE- 'NCIS Chinese Fortune'
.........AS-CHINE-SUPP- 'Fist of Legend; Jet Li vs. Chin Siu Ho' - Video
.........AUSTRALIAN   - 'Sean Connery Has Sex Three Times'
         BARBIE file  - 'Cougar Barbie'
         BASKETBALL   - 'Veniamin on America's Got Talent'
.........BASEBALL-SUPP- '"Who's On First?", The Sequel' - Video
         BIOLOGY file - 'What a Wonderful World with David Attenborough' - Video
         BIRDS file   - 'The Gooney Bird And The TV'
         BIRD-CHICKEN - 'Man And Chicken Go To The Movies'
         BIRDS-DUCKS  - 'The Rise And Fall Of The Aflac Duck'
         BLACK1 file  - 'Eddie Murphy In Mr Robinson's Neighborhood On SNL'
         BLONDE1 file - 'Blonde Urban Or Rural'
         BLONDE2 file - 'Dumb Blonde On Game Show'
......................- 'Blonde Rents Porn Tape'
         BODY_PTS-SUPP- 'Britain's Got Talent - Feet Act'
         BUCKLEY file - 'Lord Buckley'
         CARS1 file   - 'Harrison Ford As Different Ford Model Cars'
         CARS-SUPP    - 'Mojo In The Morning' - Radio Show
         CARS-SUPP2   - 'Super Bowl 2013 Ad: Where Do Babies Come From?' - Video
.........CARTOON file - 'Coyote Catches Roadrunner' - Video
......................- 'Coyote Catches Roadrunner II' - Video
......................-'Voices Of Characters'
......................- (see whole file)
         CARTOON-SUPP - 'Fractured Fairytales - Ridinghoods Anonymous' - Video
......................- 'Disney Pixar Up - Married Life' - Video
......................- 'Mel Gibson's Phone Call Rant To The Old Spice Guy' - Video
         CHICKEN file - 'Man And Chicken Go To The Movies'
         CLOTHING     - 'Magic Cloths' on America's Got Talent
         COMPUTRS-SUP2- 'Walter Cronkite's Home/Office Of 2001' - Video
         CONTRACTOR   - 'Using A Caulking Gun Correctly'
......................- 'Irish Girl Calls Demolition Company'
         COWBOY2 file - 'Carol Burnett Show - The Old Sheriff' - Video
         DOG1 file    - 'Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog'
         DOG2 file    - 'Mother Goose And Grimm On James Bond'
         DOG3 file    - 'The Dog And The Pool' on The Elen Degeneres Show'
......................- 'Lady With Dog Leaves Movie'
         DOG-SUPP     - 'Ron White On The Jay Leno Show'
......................- 'Gin The Dog'
         DRINKINGBEER2- 'Truth About Drinking Beer'
......................- 'Norm Peterson, from the TV show Cheers!'
.........DOONSBURY    -  (many Arnold pictures)
         EDEN file    - 'Johnny and Betty In The Garden Of Eden' - Video
         ELDERLY2 file- 'Elderly Lady Receives Radio'
         ELDERLY2-SUPP- 'Oldest Showgirl in the World'
         ENGLISHMAN   - 'Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry Comedy Sketch' - Video
......................- 'Britains Got Talent Striptease' - Video
......................- 'Susan Boyle On Britains Got Talent'
         ENGLSHMAN-SUP- 'Mrs Brown's Misunderstanding' - Video
......................- 'Sketch Show - The English Course Sketch' - Video
         FART-SUPP    - 'Bo! In The USA - Oprah Winfrey Show' - Video
         FRENCH file  -  Hannibal Lecter on France
.........FOOD_ETC file- 'Dad's Brownies'
         FOOD_ETC-SUP2- 'Buddy Hackett on the Dean Martin Show' - Video
         FOOTBALL-SUPP- 'Football Like It Was' on Johnny Carson
         FUCK file    - 'David Letterman - Harrison Ford Tells A Joke' - Video
         FUNERAL-SUPP - 'Archie Bunker Gives A Eulogy' - Video
         GAYS-SUPP    - 'First Gay Edition Of The Bachelor' - Video
......................- 'Tran Tuong Nguyen Show and song - One Man Woman'
         GAMES2-SUPP2 - 'Chalk Warfare 3.0' - Video
         GERMANY file - 'Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator' - Video
         HEAD-ADS-SUP2- 'Unlock the 007 in you. You have 70 seconds!' - Video
         HORSES file  - 'The Sketch Show UK - Irish Jockey' - Video
......................- 'The Sketch Show Fox - Irish Jockey' - Video
         HOSPITAL2    - 'George Clooney On Jimmy Kimmel Live'
         HOSPITAL-SUPP- 'Archie Bunker And The Doctor' - Video
         HUNTING-SUPP - 'William Shatner As Denny Crane On Boston Legal' - Videos
         ITALIAN file - 'The Sopranos Explanation Site'
         JESUS file   - 'Proof that Elvis was Jesus'
         JOB-STUFF-SUP- 'SNL's Reliable Dividend Growth Fund'
         KIDS3 file   - 'Andy Griffith Show - Opie's Allowance' - Video
         MANNERS file - 'Fruitcake Lady' - Video
......................- 'Fruitcake Lady II' - Video
         MANNERS-SUPP - 'Fruitcake Lady III' - Video
         MATH1 file   - '911 Math' - Video
......................- 'Johnny Doesn't Pay Attention In Class'
         MATH2 file   - 'Abbott And Costello 13 X 7 is 28' - Video
         MENandWOMEN2 - 'Remote Controls For Men And Women'
         MONSTERS     - 'Minions Movie Trailer'
         MOVIES file  - 'PumpCast News'
......................- 'The Morning Radio Show'
......................-.(see whole file)
         MUSIC file   - 'Paul McCartney Tickets'
......................- 'Action Stars Portray Famous Composers'
         MUSIC-SUPP   - 'Bon Jovi And The Insult Comic Dog'
         MUSIC-SUPP2  - 'Muppet Show - Mahna Mahna Original' - Video
.........MUSIC2 file  - 'Fred Astaire's Drums Skit' - Video
......................- 'Harpo/Chico Comic Piano Duet' - Video
         NATIONAL file- 'America Why I Love Her by John Wayne'
         OTH-ANIM-SUPP- 'Jackie Chan Trains A Fish' - Video
         OTHER_OCCUP  - 'Steve Martin's Magic Act'
......................- 'Triumph Gives The Hawaii Weather Report'
         OTH_OCC-SUPP - 'An Actor Gets A Part'
         OTHER_NATIONS- 'Five Year Old Genius Arden Hayes on Jimmy Kimmel Live'
         PENIS1 file  - ''Is It Weird' TV Show w/Steve Harvey'
         PHONE-SUPP   - 'Bruce Lee Plays Ping Pong With Nunchucks' - Video
......................- 'Telemarketer Nightmare' - Radio
         PHYSICS3 file- 'The Big Bang' TV Show - 6 videos
......................- 'The Big Bang' TV Show - many quotes
         PILOT-SUPP   - 'Dean Martin And Foster Brooks'
         PLANE-SUPP   - 'Frank Sinatra Parody' - Radio
         POETRY-SUPP  - 'Jimmy Stewart Reads a Poem On Johnny Carson' - Video
         POLIT-OBAMA  - 'Presidential Jeopardy..'
         POLIT-SUPP   - 'Bob Hope's One-Liner' - Video
         POLIT-SUPP2  - '"Slow Jam The News" w/Mitt Romney (Jimmy Fallon)'
         PREACHER file- 'Elderly Couple Healed By TV Preacher'
         PREGNANT-SUPP- 'Bill Cosby - Where Babies Come From' - Video
         PRIEST3 file - 'Elvis is Back'
         PUSSY file   - 'Raquel Welch Visits The Tonight Show'
.........PSYCH-SUPP   - 'Frasier's Celebrity Callers' - Video
.........QUOTES2 file - 'Austin Powers Pick-Up Lines'
......................- 'Goldwynisms'
         QTS-COMEDIAN - 'Robin Williams On The Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson'
         QTS-COMED-SUP- 'Jack Benny: Your Money Or Your Life' - Audio
......................- 'Jeff Dunham And Walter' - Video
         RATS/MICE    - 'Two Mice Live In A Movie Warehouse'
.........SCHOOL1 file - 'Tonight Show "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"'
.........SCHOOLS-SUPP2- 'Don Blue's Radio Show - Benicia Schools'
         SCIENCE2 file- 'The Ellen DeGeneres Show - Giant Smoke Rings' - Video
         SOLDIER1 file- 'ER Doctors Discusses Vets'
         SOLDIER2 file- 'The Lee Marvin Story'
         SOLDIER-SUPP2- 'Andrews Sisters - Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy' - Video
......................- 'The Great Escape - Tunnel Revealed'
......................- 'Southpark: Killing Ben Laden' - Video
         STORIES-SUPP - 'With A Piece Of Chalk...' - Video
         SUPERHEROES  - 'Batman Movie, The Bomb Scene' - Video
         TEST-SUPP    - 'Quiz: Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?'
         THO-LRN-SUPP2- 'Will Smith - The Key To Life' - Video
         THO-TIME-SUPP- 'A Conversation With My 12 Year Old Self' - Video
         THOUGHTS-WARM- 'Tonight Show - Secret Handshake w/Justin Bieber' - Video

============================================================Top
Subj:     Laurel And Hardy, The Music Box 
          From: Veoh.com on 11/20/2009 (S671b, S810d2)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/LJwuHJyxkp0

 In 1932, Laurel and Hardy made the twenty-nine minute movie
 "The Music Box."  The United States was in the "The Great
 Depression," and Laurel and Hardy's personal lives were in
 trouble.  The boys only made one movie that year, but "The
 Music Box" won them an Oscar.
.
.
Click 'HERE' for my copy, to see
this one minute colorized clip
of this funny section of the movie.
.
.
Or click 'HERE' for my copy, to see
the full twenty-nine minute black
and white movie.
.
.
Top
Subj:     Man Sleeps In Theater (S114)
          From: RFSlick on 3/14/99

 A cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh
 Amarillo Theater.  When the usher came by and noticed this,
 he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're
 only allowed one seat."

 The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became more
 impatient.  "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going
 to have to call the manager."

 The cowboy just groaned.  The usher marched briskly back up
 the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
 Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy,
 but with no success.  Finally, they summoned the police.

 The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All
 right buddy, what's your name?"

 "Sam," the cowboy moaned.

 "Where ya from, Sam?"

 With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."

Top
Subj:     Things You Would Never Know Without Movies (S46)
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-12-10

 During all police investigations it will be necessary to
 visit a stripclub at least once.

 If being chased through town, you can usually take cover
 in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of
 the year.

 All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach
 up to the armpitlevel on a woman but only to waist level
 on the man lying beside her.

 All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of
 French Bread and a stick of celery.

 It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
 someone in the control tower to talk you down.

 Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while
 scuba diving.

 The ventilation system of any building is the perfect
 hiding place.  No-one will ever think of looking for you
 in there and you can travel to any other part of the
 building you want without difficulty.

 If you need to reload your gun, you will always have
 more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any
 before now.

 You're very likely to survive any battle in any war
 unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture
 of your sweetheart back home.

 The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

 A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
 beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
 wounds.

 The Chief of Police is always black.

 When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you
 take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it
 over. It will always be the exact fare.

 Kitchens don't have light switches.  When entering a
 kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use
 that light instead.

 If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate
 any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

 Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
 family every morning even though their husband and
 children never have time to eat it.

 Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

 The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective
 - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

 Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

 It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning
 or ending phone conversations.

 Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is
 necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left
 to right every few moments.

 All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
 large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going
 to go off.

 It is always possible to park directly outside the building
 you are visiting.

 A detective can only solve a case once he has been
 suspended from duty.

 It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a
 fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait
 patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in
 a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
 predecessors.

 When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the
 head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

 No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
 volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into
 shock.

 Police Departments give their officers personality tests
 to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who
 is their total opposite.

 When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
 English to each other.

Top
Subj:     Stair Dance Scene In The
.............Little Colonel Movie (S1028)
          From: Audrey Schroder on 9/20/16
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/
.........embed/wtHvetGnOdM

 Click 'HERE' to see Bill "Bojangles" Robinson teaches
 Shirley Temple his signature stair dance in this scene
 from The Little Colonel movie in 1935.

Top
Subj:     Movie Titles for an Aging James Bond (S238)
          From: drribeiro on 8/20/2001

 The Top 15 James Bond Movie Titles
    if Pierce Brosnan Doesn't Retire Soon

 15. Glovedfinger
 14. Never Say Never Again, Thanks To Viagra
 13. Dr. No Bladder Control
 12. Grumpy Old Spies
 11. The Spy Who Loved Me On The Third Try, Then Rolled
        Over and Slept All Afternoon
 10. Dude, Where's My Aston Martin?
  9. From Tampa, With Love
  8. For Your Good Eye Only
  7. Dr., No! Not Another Prostate Exam!
  6. On Her Majesty's Coroner's Table
  5. Lawnraker
  4. The Man With the Golden Girls
  3. License to Kill (Daylight Hours Only)
  2. Octogenarianpussy

  and Topfive.com's Number 1 James Bond Movie
  Title if Pierce Brosnan Doesn't Retire Soon...

  1. ColdSphincter

Top
Subj:     Man w/Ugly Name Wants To Act (S209, S623b)
          From: gheckman on 1/27/2001
      and From: ginafm on 12/16/2008

 A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a
 Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand.  The
 agent reviewed the young man's slim resume and small port-
 folio with the care that was deserving of this fine young
 specimen.

 "You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor
 of an actor.  Tell me, have you had any roles that I might
 be aware of?"

 "Other than the requisite high school and college plays, no
 sir," said the handsome young man.

 "I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours,"
 said the agent.

 "Sir?"

 "Your name. Penis Van Lesbian. That's not a name that will
 go far in Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll
 have to change your name."

 "Sir," the handsome young man protested. "The Van Lesbian
 name was my father's, my grandfather's and his father's
 name.  We have proudly carried this name for generations
 and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason."

 "If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you,
 young man."

 "Then I bid you farewell - my name will not change."  With
 that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agents office never to
 return.

 Five Years Later...

 The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with
 some producers and shuffled through his mail.  Mostly junk
 mail, trade journals and the like.

 There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed
 the letter.  As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check
 dropped from the folds and onto his desk.  He looked at
 the check. It was for $ 50,000 dollars!  He read the letter:

 Dear Sir:

 Several years ago, I entered your office determined to
 become an actor.  You refused to represent me unless I
 changed my name.  I objected, saying The Penis Van Lesbian
 name had been carried for generations and left your
 office.  However, upon leaving, I chanced to reconsider my
 hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to
 heed your advice and endeavored to change my name.  Now I
 am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions
 worldwide.  Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is
 often that I think back to my meeting with you and your
 insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of
 gratitude, so please accept this check with my humble
 thanks, for it was your idea, which has brought me to such
 wealth and fame.

 Very Sincerely Yours,

 Dick Van Dyke"

Top
Subj:     Pets On Stage (S171)
          From: Anaise on 5/9/00
Drawing from Flicker.com

 This story is so long it must have it's own web page.
 Click 'HERE' to view it

Top
Subj:     Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (S161)
          From: RFSlick on 2/29/00

 A husband and wife are getting ready for bed one evening,
 and he asks, Honey, do you want to have sex tonight?

 No, she replies.

 Is that your final answer?

 Yes, that's my final answer, she insists.

 The husband thinks carefully for a moment, then asks,
 May I phone a friend?

Top
Subj:     Complete Home Entertainment Center (S411b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/2/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
.
;..............
.
.
Top
Subj:     Switzers And Gibutosis In Movies (DU)
          From: PGM2R4U on 8/8/99

 Note from the TRIVIA ENCYCLOPIA by Fred L. Worth.

 The early movie comedies of the nineteen thirties and forties
 included a short reel between double features serial named,
 OUR GANG COMEDY,  later adapted to the "LITTLE RASCALS".

 Included in such comedy series were young school and pre-
 school actors then named Alphalpha (SWITZER), Spanky
 (McFarland), Buckwheat (Thomas),  Darla (Hood), Porky (Lee)
 and others.  CARL SWITZER who played the part of Alphalpha,
 also played in several movies, including one starring
 Elizabeth Taylor, "There's one born every minute".  Bobby
 Blake, (Mickey Gibutosi) Co-Star of  "In Cold Blood", the
 story of a Kansas murder case, was also an early member of
 Our Gang.

 Making one want to laugh seems to run in the Switzer family
 but not in the Gibutosi family..
 

 Pat  Maher  de  Vallejo

 P.S. We are loaded with TRIVIA.  Question-What does SHAZAM MEAN.

Top
Subj:     Celebrity Love Child (S462b,d)
          From: igiggle on 12/2/2005
 Source: (Removed from homepage.ntlworld.com)

 NtlWorld merged the faces of 20 celebrity pairs to discover
 what their offspring might look like.  Can you determine the
 parents?  You can play the game by clicking 'HERE'.


Subj:     Short Movie Or TV Or Play Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     Movie Quiz - Y E A H,    B A B Y   ! ! ! (S127)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 7/6/99
In the film Austin Powers, what was the name of the
henchman whose head was eaten by the ill-tempered
mutated sea bass?

       a) John Smith   c) Andy (no last name)
       b) Random Task  d) Alotta Fagina
 

Top
Subj:     American Idle (S471d)
          From: igiggle on 1/21/2006
..........Source: (Removed from cookiedoughrecords.com)
 The very cute, SWF cartoon/video 'American Idle' can be seen
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Son Gets Part In Play (S181)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 7/14/00
 Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental
 appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were
 supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got one.

 Matt enthusiastically announced that he had. "I play a man
 who's been married for twenty years."

 "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you
 know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."
 

Top
Subj:     W. C. Fields Quotations (S460b)
          From: Quotes From W.C. Fields on 11/17/05
 Source: (Removed from louisville.edu)
Picture from
Quotes From W.C. Fields
 To view this great set of W.C. Fields quotations
 click 'HERE'.
 

From: Anonymous Jr. on 5/15/2010
Source: (Removed from articlehealthandfitness.com)
 W.C.Fields once said that "Anyone who hates dogs and kids
 can't be all bad". That got him a lot of laughs because
 people knew that you had to like your friends', relatives'
 and neighbors' kids and dogs whether you really did or not.
 It was expected back then as it still is today.  That means
 you had to genuinely like them regardless of what they did
 to you--things which should have been stopped and apologized
 for.
 

From: smiles on 98-10-01 (S87)
 "Hey, who took the cork off my lunch?"  -- W.C. Fields

 On W.C.Fields grave "I'd rather be here than in Philadelphia."
 

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 7/28/2002 (S287b)
 "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
    -- W. C. Fields
 

From: Imogenelumen on 1/27/2004 (S366)
 A woman drove me to drink ...  and I hadn't even the
 courtesy to thank her.  -- W.C. Fields

 I never drink water because of the disgusting things
 that fish do in it.  -- W.C. Fields
 

From: igiggle on 1/3/2005 (S414b)
 A salesman harassed W.C. Fields until the actor ducked into
 a barbershop to avoid him.  The tenacious fellow went in as
 well, and Fields yelled in exasperation, "I've told you no
 ten times now.  Just to shut you up, I'll put the proposition
 to my lawyer next time I see him!"

 The salesman pressed, "Will you take the proper steps if he
 says it's alright?"

 "I certainly will, "announced Fields. "I'll ask another lawyer."
 

From: drgolfmd on 11/9/2006 (S512c)
 "Everybody's got to believe in something.  I believe
  I'll have another beer."  -- W. C. Fields
 

Top
Subj:     Movie Quotations (S125b)
          From: JCary on 6/15/99
 "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
   -- Jessica Rabbit in WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

 "I feel the need, the need for speed!"  -- TOP GUN

 "We don't own anything in this world Karen,
 we're just passing through"  -- OUT OF AFRICA

 "I think people who talk in metaphors should
 shampoo my crotch."  -AS GOOD AS IT GETS

 "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"
    -- APOCALYPSE NOW

 "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
    -- GONE WITH THE WIND

 "Here's looking at you, kid."  -- CASABLANCA

 "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part
 always gets in the way."  -- When Harry Met Sally
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 8/29/2002 (S291b)
 Do, or do not. There is no 'try'.
   -- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')

 Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie, a
 travel documentary about northern Europe?  It's
 called "Mr. Opie's Holland"  --  The Oregonian
 

 In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it
 again, Sam."  Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary,
 my dear Watson."  Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up,
 Scotty," but he did say, "Beam me up, Mr. Scott".

 Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

 Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They
 were seventh cousins.

 In most television commercials advertising milk, a
 mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in
 place of the milk.

 John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An
 Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".
 

From: LabLaughs.com on 7/2/2005 (S440b)
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 "The length of a film should be directly related to the
  endurance of the human bladder."  -- Alfred Hitchcock.

 Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

 Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names of
 Cher and Sonny Bono.

 Who plays the piano on "Mad About You?"
 Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You"
    theme?
    Paul Reiser himself.

 Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie were named
      after characters in which famous holiday movie?
 The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were
 named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver
 in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."

 All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck
 on what time?  All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp
 Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

 What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny)
 is most ironic?  He was allergic to carrots.

 The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
 time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

 The first toilet ever seen on television was on
 "Leave It To Beaver".

 What person, not a "Seinfeld" regular cast member,
 is featured on every  episode of "Seinfeld"?
 Superman, either by name or pictures on Jerry's
 refrigerator.

 In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel
 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs,
 for instance) but did not renumber the other channel
 assignments.  That is why your TV set has channels 2
 and up, but no channel 1.

 Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever
   nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy."
   Her entire role lasted only six minutes.

 Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that
   was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show.
   His first name was Willy.  The skipper's real name
   on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby.  It was
   mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's
   newscast about the wreck.

 A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to be
   talking in the background -- when they say "walla-
   walla" it looks like they are actually talking.

 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two
   Disney cartoon features with both parents that are
   present and don't die throughout the movie.
 

From: Daemonic Funnies Page on 12/1/97 (449b - other-sports)
 Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who
 have had years and years of training can, using only
 their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies
 in the history of the world.
                              -- Dave Barry
 

From: auntieg 98-05-09
 All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

 The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up
 when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet
 and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."
 

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #284 on 99-02-06
 TV listing for the Wizard of Oz in the Marin Paper:

 Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills
 the first woman she meets and then teams up with three
 complete strangers to kill again.
 

From: mombear1 on 8/21/2001 (S238)
 Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during
 World War II were made of wood.

 During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur", a small red car
 can be seen in the distance.

 Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to
 s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
 That's the opposite of the norm.

 Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie
 Chaplin look-alike contest.
 

From: igiggle on 4/25/2004 (S378b)
 Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.
   -- Jayne Mansfield
 

Top
Subj:     Thought For The Day (S166)
          From: FrankRoesch on 03/31/2000
 Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
 

From: ICohen on 3/13/2001 (S215)
 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

From: RFSlick on 8/25/2001 (S239)
 I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it.
 I said, "Thyroid problem?"  -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
 

From: joke-of-the-day-Mail.com on 1/9/2006 (S468)
 "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles
 develop your strengths. When you go through hardships
 and decide not to surrender, that is strength."
   -- Arnold Schwarzenegger

 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a
 bitch.  -- Jack Nicholson

 According to a new survey, women say they feel more
 comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
 undressing in front of other women.  They say that
 women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
 just grateful.  -- Robert De Niro
 

From: jerry on 12/26/2001 (S256)
 About 100,000 people submitted their favorite jokes as
 part of a massive experiment called Laughlab.  Here, the
 German category.

 "Why is television called a medium?  Because it is neither
 rare nor well-done."
 

From: smiles on 6/8/99 (S129b)
 Whenever I have to choose between two evils, I always like
 to try the one I haven't tried before.  -- Mae West.


From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 4/29/2002 (S274c)
 Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an
 institution yet.  -- Mae West
 

From: joke-of-the-day.com on 5/7/2003 (S328b)
 Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder,
 lightning, tornados and hail.  -- Mae West
 

From: igiggle on 1/7/2006 (S468b)
 I generally avoid temptation, unless I can't resist it.
   -- Mae West
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/24/2002 (S273c)
 "I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
    -- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/19/2002 (S286b)
 Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is
 enemy action.  -- Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger"
 by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
 

From: dogbyte on 1/4/2002 (S258)
 Q: Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain?
 A: Lawn Boy.

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