Subj: Thanksgiving-Supp Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 6 jokes and articles)
Happy_Thanksgiving
comes from
darrell94590@sbcglobal.net
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Subj: Thanksgiving-Supp Jokes (Gz) (Includes 6 jokes and articles) |
|
Happy_Thanksgiving comes from darrell94590@sbcglobal.net |
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Subj: A Thanksgiving
Prayer (S514b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/23/2006
I am thankful for the wife who
says, "Hot dogs for supper!"
Because she is home with
me, not someone else.
I am thankful for the husband
who is on the sofa being a couch
potato Because he is home
with me and not out at the bars.
I am thankful for the teenager
who is complaining about
doing dishes Because she
is at home and not out on the streets.
I am thankful for the taxes I
pay
Because it means I am employed.
I am thankful for the mess to
clean after a party
Because it means I have been
surrounded by friends.
I am thankful for the clothes
that fit a little too snug
Because it means I have enough
to eat.
I am thankful for my shadow that
watches me work
Because it means I am out
in the sunshine.
I am thankful for a lawn to mow,
windows to clean
and gutters to fix Because
it means I have a home.
I am thankful for the complaining
I hear about the government
Because it means we have
freedom of speech.
I am thankful for the parking
spot I find at the far end of
the parking lot Because it
means I am able to walk and I have
been blessed with transportation.
I am thankful for my huge heating
bill
Because it means I am warm.
I am thankful for the pile of
laundry and ironing
Because it means I have clothes
to wear.
I am thankful for weariness and
aching muscles at the end
of the day Because it means
I have been able to work.
I am thankful for the alarm that
rings early in the
morning hours Because it
means I am alive.
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Subj: Pregnant
Turkey (S511b)
From: hellgunner50 on 11/5/2006
Last year at Thanksgiving, my
mom went to my sister's house
for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister
is, my mom decided to play a
trick. She told my sister that
she needed something from the
store.
When my sister left, my mom took
the turkey out of the oven,
removed the stuffing, stuffed
a Cornish hen, and inserted it
into the turkey, and re-stuffed
the turkey. She then placed
the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner,
my sister pulled the turkey out
of the oven and proceeded to
remove the stuffing. When her
serving spoon hit something,
she reached in and pulled out
the little bird.
With a look of total shock on
her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Darci, you've cooked a pregnant
bird!"
At the reality of this horrifying
news, my sister started to
cry. It took the family
two hours to convince her that
turkeys lay eggs!
Yep..................SHE'S A BLONDE!
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Subj: Thanksgiving
Reflection (S460)
From: darrell94590 on 11/22/2005
For most people, Thanksgiving
is a time to reflect on what
we've been given and savor the
scents of crisp autumn days
and pumpkin pie.
For me, it's a little more complicated.
One November afternoon when my
daughter was in kindergarten,
I picked her up after school.
She bobbed out to the car and
crawled into the back seat.
"What did you do today?" I asked.
She couldn't wait to tell
me.
"We learned that boys are different from girls," she chirped.
Looking into the rearview mirror,
I could just see the top
of her head.
"My teacher told us that boys
have a thing the girls don't,"
she added
"Well, yes they do..." I said cautiously.
I couldn't think of anything
else to say, so we were quiet
for a moment. Then she piped
up again. "That's how girls
know that boys are boys," she
said. "They see that thing
that hangs down and they know
that he is a boy."
I mentally calculated the distance
home. Our five-minute
commute already felt like an
hour.
"Did you know that when the boys
see a girl they puff up?"
My palms were beginning to sweat.
"Um...well..."
I was still searching for something
new to say, to change
the subject, when she asked,
"Why do the girls like the
boys to have those things?"
Well I didn't know what to
say. I mean, what woman hasn't
asked herself that
question at least once?
"Oh, well...um..." I stammered.
She didn't wait for my answer.
She had her own. "It's
cause it moves when they walk
and then the girls see
that and that's when they know
they are boys and that's
when they like them. Then the
boy sees the girl and he
puffs up, and then the girl
knows he likes her, too.
And then they get married. And
then they get cooked."
That last part confused me a
bit, but on the whole I
thought she had a pretty good
grasp on things.
As soon as we got home and I
pulled into the garage,
she hopped out of the car, fishing
something out of
her school bag.
"I drew a picture," she said. "Do you want to see?"
I wasn't sure I did, but I looked
at it anyway. I had
to sit down.
There, all puffed up so to speak,
looking mighty
attractive for the ladies, was
a crayon drawing of
a great big Tom Turkey. His
snood, the thing that
hangs down over his beak, the
thing that female
turkeys find so irresistible,
was magnificent. His
tail feathers were standing
tall and proud.
She was a little offended that
I laughed so hard at
her drawing, and I laughed until
I cried. But when
I told her I loved it - and
I did - she got over her
pique.
That was the end of that, for
her anyway. But I'm not
so lucky.
Every year I remember that conversation.
And to be honest, I haven't looked
at a turkey, or a
man, the same way since.
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Thanksgiving Jokes
Top
Subj: Gratitude
(S566b)
by Melody Beattie
From: ginafm on 11/21/2007
Gratitude unlocks the fullness
of life.
It turns what we have into enough,
and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to
clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home,
a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our
past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
 |
Subj:
Thanksgiving Indiscretions (S460b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/23/2005 |
| Subj:
Turkey Slider (S460)
From: Thanksgiving Games on 11/24/2005 |
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