National States Supp
(Includes 28 jokes and articles. 03928,12,cf,md4w,10)
Flag as Eagle from
Animated GIF Finder
by John Graziano
From: Comics.com on 10/31/2008
|Click on the button below
for this amazing
50 State Capitals (S672d)
From: Wimp.com on 11/21/2009
Wakko Warner sings the 50 States
and their Capitals in Steven
Spielberg's classic Warner Brothers cartoon. The Animaniacs
is arguably one of the greatest cartoons of the early 1990s.
Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see this
Subj: States Names Puzzle (S582)
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 3/18/2008
Each person lives in a state
that can be spelled by
rearranging the letters of that Person's name.
Where do they live?
Nora I. Charlton
Colin A. Fair
Dora K. Hatton
Hilda D. Rosen
A. K. Barnes
J. R. Sweeney
The solution can be found on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Towns In Texas (S560c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/10/2007
Texas is the FUN state!!
Here is a list
of actual places to travel in Texas ...
Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159 Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077 Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013 Friendship, Texas 76530
Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270 Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086 Sunny Side, Texas 77423
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605 Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789 Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567 Rice, Texas 75155
And top it off with: Sweetwater, Texas 79556
Why travel to other cities? Texas has them ALL!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323 Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245 Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570 Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861 Reno, Texas 75462
Feel like traveling outside the country?
Don't bother buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613 Egypt, Texas 77436
Turkey, Texas 79261 London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682 Paris, Texas 75460
No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791
We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031
And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590
Energy, Texas 76452
Blanket, Texas 76432 Winters, Texas
Poolville, Texas 76487 Cool, Texas (Parker County)
Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670
Men are from Mars, women are from
Venus, Texas 76084
You guessed it... it's on the state line...
Texline, Texas 79087
For the kids..
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070 Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665 Sylvester, Texas 79560
Other city names in Texas, to make you smile..... : :))
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423 Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759 Plainview, Texas 79072
Best, Texas 76932 Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763 Dime Box, Texas
Telephone, Texas 75488 Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379 Twitty, Texas 79079
And last but not least. The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas 75662
Have a Good Day!
P.S. Whoops, left out :
Cut n shoot,
Hoop And Holler, Ding Dong,
and don't forget......
And, of course, there is a place in Texas that is......
by John Graziano
From: Comics.com on 12/23/2008
Subj: Reno Vs Los Angeles (S522c)
From: The Daily Brain Teaser on 1/17/07
In this question you have a fifty-fifty
chance of guessing
right since there are only two possible answers. All of
us know that the five American states which are either
touching or sitting in the Pacific Ocean are Alaska, Hawaii,
Washington, Oregon, and California. So we should find it
simple to answer whether Reno, Nevada, is east or west of
Los Angeles, California.
The answer can be fourn at the source above.
Subj: Four Women On A Drive (S447b, DU)
From: RFSlick on 8/7/2005
(See 'American, Canadian, And Australian In Seedy Bar' in BAR2)
Four women were driving across
the country. Each one was
from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Nevada and Calif-
ornia. Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho
started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them
out of the window. "What the heck are you doing?" demanded
the Californian. "We have so many of these darn things in
Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!" A moment later,
the gal from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from her
bag and tossing them from the window. "What are you doing
that for?" asked the lady from Nevada. "We have so many of
these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!"
Inspired, the woman from Nevada opened the car door and
pushed the Californian out.
Subj: State Average IQ and Presidential Vote (S428, DU)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/29/2005
The IQ numbers were originally
attributed to the book "IQ
and the Wealth of Nations", though they do not appear in
the current edition. The tests and data were administered
via the Raven's APT, and the The Test Agency, one of the
UK's leading publishers and distributors of psychometric
tests. This data has been published in the Economist and
the St. Petersburg Times, though this does not mean it
should be taken as fact. Though the data does correlate
somewhat to IQ of students per state based on SAT/ACT
data, though this would be biased for those that had
completed a high school education. Someone has also taken
2000 census data on percentage of state residents that have
earned a college degree and used that to compare the voting
in the 2000 election, it's funny, but that seems to correlate
Subj: God Created Washington State (S408b, DU)
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/8/2004
God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the
archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He
inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction,
and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"and I've put Life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great
place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different
parts of earth. "For
example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity
and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over
there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there
is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God
continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered
The Archangel, impressed by God's
work, then pointed to a
land area and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God "That's Washington
State, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and
streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The
people from Washington State are going to be handsome,
modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be
found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable,
hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and
admiration, but then proclaimed,
"What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
"There is another Washington...wait
until you see the idiots
I put there."
Subj: North Dakota's Nuclear Missiles (S315b, DU)
From: pns on 2/5/2003
On a lighter note than the Powell
speech we have this
disturbing revelation from the ONION satire magazine
From - The Onion | 2/5/2003
North Dakota Found To Be Harboring Nuclear Missiles
BISMARCK, ND - The stage was
set for another international
showdown Monday, when chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans
Blix confirmed that the remote, isolationist state of
North Dakota is in possession of a large stockpile of
"Satellite photos confirm that
the North Dakotans have
been quietly harboring an extensive nuclear-weapons
program," said Blix, presenting his findings in a speech
to the U.N. Security Council. "Alarmingly, this barely
developed hinterland possesses the world's most tech-
nologically advanced weapons of mass destruction, capable
of reaching targets all over the world."
After initially offering no comment
on the report, North
Dakota officials admitted to having a stockpile of 1,710
warheads at two military sites and confirmed that the
state has been home to an active nuclear-weapons-
development program for decades.
Blix called the revelation a
"terrifying prospect for
the world at large."
Within hours of the announcement,
Kofi Annan urged North Dakota to abandon its program.
"This is clearly an excessive
number of weapons for a
place like North Dakota to possess," Annan said. "In
this post-Cold War environment, we should be moving
away from nuclear proliferation among developing states."
European leaders also spoke out
in opposition to North
Dakota's weapons program.
"North Dakota, still in its cultural
infancy, cannot be
trusted to responsibly handle weapons of mass destruction,"
French President Jacques Chirac said. "We are talking
about a place that doesn't even have a Thai restaurant or
movie theater that shows foreign films, but still they have
the resources to build thousands of warheads. Do not
believe their claims of being 'The Peace Garden State.'"
According to Chirac, North Dakota's
development of nuclear
arms "represents a grave threat to peaceful states the
world over, none more so than its longtime neighbor and
rival across the 45th Parallel, South Dakota."
"The South Dakotans, while a
simple people themselves,
are friendly, hospitable, and far more in touch with the
outside world," Chirac said. "Many people, myself
included, have passed through and seen the Badlands and
Mount Rushmore. North Dakota, on the other hand, is a
bleak, racially homogeneous state that few people ever
enter or exit."
After a joint meeting of the
French and German cabinets,
German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said the two nations
"agree that this situation must be rectified" and implored
North Dakota to cease its uranium-enrichment program
"We have opened the door to talks,"
Schroeder said. "But,
unfortunately, North Dakota seems unwilling to engage with
the world community at this time."
According to Blix, North Dakota
is home to 500 Minuteman
III ICBMs and 50 Peacekeeper missiles, giving it one of
the heaviest concentrations of the weapons on earth. The
biggest discovery made by U.N. inspectors, Blix said, was
a missile field at Minot Air Force Base, where they found
an "almost unbelievable" stockpile of warheads.
The rogue state was also found
to possess enormous stock-
piles of fissile material.
"North Dakota could have as much
as 75 metric tons of
weapons-grade uranium and 8 metric tons of weapons-grade
plutonium," Blix said. "Just 55 pounds of uranium are
needed to construct a simple nuclear weapon. Do the math,
the prospects are terrifying."
The man at the center of the
controversy is North Dakota's
leader, Gov. John Hoeven. Having risen to power in 2000
after amassing tremendous wealth in the private sector,
Hoeven lives a life of comfort and excess inside the
heavily patrolled North Dakota governor's mansion, a lavish
dwelling paid for entirely by the state, while many of his
people engage in subsistence farming.
Some suspect that Hoeven is using
the nuclear program as a
bargaining chip to gain badly needed economic benefits for
his state. Hardly at the forefront of technology in other
aspects, North Dakota has a largely rural population and a
child-poverty rate of 14 percent, a fact critics have been
quick to point out.
"North Dakotans live a horrible
life of isolation and
deprivation, struggling to grow crops in a hostile, sub-
zero climate while their indifferent government routinely
prioritizes bolstering the state's military might," BBC
World correspondent Caroline Eagan said. "There are people
starving there, and yet high-tech weapons laboratories and
military bases abound. It's deplorable."
Added Eagan: "And, no big surprise,
the U.S. played a major
role in arming this place. I hear most of the missiles are
Many U.S. citizens have expressed
fear, some realizing for
the first time that North Dakota has thousands of weapons
capable of reaching any major American city within minutes.
"It is absolutely frightening
that there are all these
weapons of mass destruction practically in my backyard,"
said Karen Stiles of Moorhead, MN. "Do we really know
enough about these people who have their finger on the
button that could kill millions?"
Added Stiles: "How did our elected officials let this happen?"
Subj: U.S. Towns With Strange Names (S314, S663b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 2/3/2003
Here are sure some oddly named
towns in the USA. Below
are 10 sets of names. In each set I made up two of the
town names, the other one is a real town. In each set of
three names, see if you can figure out which town is real:
1. Toad Suck, Gulping Armadillo,
Hairy Bear (Arkansas)
2. Cold Beans, Bananaville, Hot Coffee (Mississippi)
3. Tree frog Slue, Spread Eagle, Kitty Corners (Wisconsin)
4. Frankenstein, Dracula Flats, Godzillaburg (Missouri)
5. Turkey Scrub, Raptor Ridge, Chicken (Alaska)
6. Old Nine Center, Fifty-Six, Numbers (Arizona)
7. Poke-Um, Whippingstone, Knockemstiff (Ohio)
8. Rabbit Hash, Greasy Gopher, Road Kill (Kentucky)
9. Happy Jack, Smiling Mill, Merry Mirth (Arizona)
10. Password, Truth or Consequences, Game Show (New Mexico)
The answers are below
Here are the real towns...
1) Toad Suck, Arkansas
2) Hot Coffee, Mississippi
3) Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
4) Frankenstein, Missouri
5) Chicken, Alaska
6) Fifty-Six, Arizona
7) Knockemstiff, Ohio
8) Rabbit Hash, Kentucky
9) Happy Jack, Arizona
10) Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Here's the scoring:
10 Correct: I don't believe it. :-?
6-9 Correct: You've amazing guessing power.
Buy a lottery ticket.
2-5 Correct: In the words of the Smothers Brothers,
0-1 Correct: You're an honest person,
I appreciate that!
Subj: How To Pronounce Wisconsin City (S305b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 12/5/2002
Two tourists were driving through
Wisconsin. As they
were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about
the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back
and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter,
one tourist asked the
employee," before we order, could you please settle an
argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we
The blonde leaned over the counter
and said, "Burrrrrr
Subj: Bishop's Castle (S928d)
From: AFine963 on 11/1/2014
In the San Isabel National Forest in Colorado is a medieval
castle built for 40 years by Jim Bishop. He began construction
at the age of 15 years. Click 'HERE' to see an enlargement.
Subj: Louisiana Hurricane Season Notes (S298b)
From: flovilla on 10/13/2002
We're in the peak of the hurricane
you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person
pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico
and making two basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting
time to be in Louisiana.
If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you
need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit
by "the big one.''
Based on my experiences, I recommend
that you follow this
simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled
water to last your
family for atleast three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.
Unfortunately, statistics show
that most people will not
follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay
here in Louisiana.
I'll start with one of the most
HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you
own a home, you must have
hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap
and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic
(1) It is reasonably well-built,
(2) It is located in Nebraska.
Unfortunately, if your home is
located in South Louisiana,
or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane,
most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you
hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to
pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into
the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have
to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will
charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement
value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop
you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane George, I have
had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.
This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance
Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to
my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to
SHUTTERS: Your house should have
hurricane shutters on all
the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane
-- all the toilets.
There are several types of shutters,
with advantages and
Plywood shutters: The advantage
is that, because you make
them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that,
because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage
is that these work well,
once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you
get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps,
and it will be December.
Roll-down shutters: The advantages
are that they're very
easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The
disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to
pay for them.
"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These
are the newest wrinkle in
hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but
they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this,
because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.
"Hurricane Proofing Your Property:
As the hurricane
approaches, check your yard for movable objects like
barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting
relatives, etc.. You should, as a precaution, throw these
items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming
pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise,
the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly
EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live
in a low-lying area, you
should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine
whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's
license; if it says ``Louisiana,'' you live in a low-lying
area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to
avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits.
Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam
several miles from your home, along with two hundred
thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't
evacuate, you will need a
mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Louisiana tradition
requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then
go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with
strangers over who get the last can of SPAM.
In addition to food and water,
you will need the following
At least $167 worth of batteries
that turn out, when the
power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
(No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what
the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)
A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
A big knife that you can strap
to your leg.
(This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
A large quantity of raw chicken,
to placate the alligators.
(Ask anybody who went through Camille; after the hurricane,
there WILL be irate alligators.)
$35,000 in cash or diamonds so
that, after the hurricane
passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no
Of course these are just basic
precautions. As the hurricane
draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of
the situation by turning on your television and watching TV
reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and
tell you over and over how vitally important it is for
everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise!
This also applies to S.E. Texas.
Subj: More Short States Jokes
McCoy Political Cartoon (S633)
By Glenn McCoy
From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/24/2009
Mt. Rushmore (S629c)
Bar In Wisconsin (S554b)
Subj: Iraq Vs Washington D.C. (S353b)
From: tadams96 on 11/6/2003
"The U.S. military has had considerably more success in
turning Iraq around than liberals have had in turning the
ghettos around with their 40-year "War on Poverty." So
far, fewer troops have been killed by hostile fire since
the end of major combat in Iraq than civilians were
murdered in Washington, D.C., last year (239 deaths in
Iraq compared to 262 murders in D.C.). How many years
has it been since we declared the end of major U.S. combat
operations against Marion Barry's regime? How long before
we just give up and pull out of that hellish quagmire
known as Washington, D.C.?"
When For The First 48 States (S540)
Subj: If You Don't Pay Your Water Bill (S337b)
From: jerry on 7/8/2003
If you don't pay the bill, they turn off the water. Seems
fair enough, doesn't it? Especially after several warnings.
It's a little complicated when the customer is an entire
town. Lannings, Montana had been billing residents and
receiving payments but due to squeezed finances used the
money in other areas. So their water was shut off.
Why They Lock Their Doors In Florida (S435)
Subj: Florida The Health State (S410b)
From: JokesUncut on 11/23/2004
Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in Florida.
In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver...
"Say, is this really a healthful place?"
"It sure is," the cabby replied.
"When I came here I
couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my
head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room,
and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said the
tourist , "How long have
you been here?"
"I was born here."
States Drag And Drop (S414b)
Subj: Rochester, New York's Slogan (S032b)
From: jerry on 11/13/2002
The cash strapped city of Rochester, New York decided that
the myriad problems they face are caused by their lacking
a city slogan. They paid an agency $400,000 to come up
with, of all things, "Rochester. Made for living,"
whatever this means.
Bob Lonsberry Column, Rochester,
State Map Test (S401d)
From: igiggle on 6/9/2004
From: igiggle on 5/3/2003 (S327b)
A severe storm rumbled through my hometown in Oklahoma.
The entire town was reduced to rubble. Tens of dollars
of damage was reported.
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/18/2006 (S495b)
Q: Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting
on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways
the rest of the week.
..........................Smiley Climbs the Empire State Building from Smiley_Central