(Includes 20 jokes and articles)
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National States Supp (Gz)
(Includes 20 jokes and articles) |
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Subj: States
Names Puzzle (S582)
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 3/18/2008
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/03-18-08.html
Each person lives in a state
that can be spelled by
rearranging the letters of that
Person's name.
Where do they live?
Roy
Kewn
Nora
I. Charlton
Colin
A. Fair
Dora
K. Hatton
Earl
Wade
Hilda
D. Rosen
A.
K. Barnes
J.
R. Sweeney
The solution can be found on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Towns
In Texas (S560c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/10/2007
Texas is the FUN state!!
Here is a list
of actual places to travel in
Texas ...
Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530
***
Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423
***
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556
***
Why travel to other cities?
Texas has them ALL!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462
***
Feel like traveling outside
the country?
Don't bother buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
***
No need to travel to Washington
D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791
***
We even have a city named after
our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031
***
And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590
***
Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452
***
Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432 Winters, Texas
***
Hot?
Poolville, Texas 76487 Cool, Texas (Parker County)
***
Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas
Goliad, Texas
Alamo, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
***
Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670
***
Men are from Mars, women are
from
Venus, Texas 76084
***
You guessed it... it's on the
state line...
Texline, Texas 79087
***
For the kids..
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560
***
Other city names in Texas, to
make you smile..... : :))
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Plainview, Texas 79072
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079
***
And last but not least. The
Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas 75662
***
Have a Good Day!
***
P.S. Whoops, left out :
Muleshoe,
Cut n shoot,
Hoop And Holler,
Ding Dong,
and don't forget......
Farewell, Texas
***
And, of course, there is a place
in Texas that is......
KNOTT, TEXAS
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Subj: Reno
Vs Los Angeles (S522c)
From: The Daily Brain Teaser on 1/17/07
Source: http://www.apuzzlezone.com/adailypuzzle/01-17-07.html
In this question you have a fifty-fifty
chance of guessing
right since there are only two
possible answers. All of
us know that the five American
states which are either
touching or sitting in the Pacific
Ocean are Alaska, Hawaii,
Washington, Oregon, and California.
So we should find it
simple to answer whether Reno,
Nevada, is east or west of
Los Angeles, California.
The answer can be fourn at the source above.
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Subj: Four
Women On A Drive (S447b)
From: RFSlick on 8/7/2005
(See 'American,
Canadian, And Australian In Seedy Bar' in BAR2)
Four women were driving across
the country. Each one was
from a different state: Idaho,
Nebraska, Nevada and Calif-
ornia. Shortly after the
trip began, the woman from Idaho
started pulling potatoes from
her bag and throwing them
out of the window. "What the
heck are you doing?" demanded
the Californian. "We have
so many of these darn things in
Idaho, I am just sick of looking
at them!" A moment later,
the gal from Nebraska began
pulling ears of corn from her
bag and tossing them from the
window. "What are you doing
that for?" asked the lady from
Nevada. "We have so many of
these things in Nebraska, I
am just sick of looking at them!"
Inspired, the woman from Nevada
opened the car door and
pushed the Californian out.
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Subj: State
Average IQ and Presidential Vote (S428)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/29/2005
Source: http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/iqvote.htm
The IQ numbers were originally
attributed to the book "IQ
and the Wealth of Nations",
though they do not appear in
the current edition. The tests
and data were administered
via the Raven's APT, and the
The Test Agency, one of the
UK's leading publishers and
distributors of psychometric
tests. This data has been published
in the Economist and
the St. Petersburg Times, though
this does not mean it
should be taken as fact.
Though the data does correlate
somewhat to IQ
of students per state based on SAT/ACT
data, though this would be biased
for those that had
completed a high school education.
Someone has also taken
2000 census data on percentage
of state residents that have
earned a college degree and
used that to compare
the voting
in
the 2000 election, it's funny, but that seems to correlate
as well.
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Subj: God
Created Washington State (S408b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/8/2004
God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the
archangel, found him, resting
on the seventh day. He
inquired of God. "Where
have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction,
and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael. Look what I've
made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"and I've put Life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth and
it's going to be a great
place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different
parts of earth. "For
example, northern Europe will
be a place of great opportunity
and wealth, while southern Europe
is going to be poor. Over
there I've placed a continent
of white people, and over there
is a continent of black people.
Balance in all things," God
continued pointing to different
countries. "This one will be
extremely hot, while this one
will be very cold and covered
in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's
work, then pointed to a
land area and said, "What's
that one?"
"Ah," said God "That's Washington
State, the most glorious
place on earth. There
are beautiful mountains, rivers and
streams, lakes, forests, hills,
plains, and coulees. The
people from Washington State
are going to be handsome,
modest, intelligent, and humorous,
and they are going to be
found traveling the world.
They will be extremely sociable,
hardworking, high achieving,
and they will be known throughout
the world as diplomats, and
carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and
admiration, but then proclaimed,
"What about balance, God? You
said there would be balance."
God smiled,
"There is another Washington...wait
until you see the idiots
I put there."
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Subj: North
Dakota's Nuclear Missiles (S315b)
From: pns on 2/5/2003
On a lighter note than the Powell
speech we have this
disturbing revelation from the
ONION satire magazine
? The Onion | 2/5/2003
North Dakota Found To Be Harboring Nuclear Missiles
BISMARCK, NDThe stage was set
for another international
showdown Monday, when chief
U.N. weapons inspector Hans
Blix confirmed that the remote,
isolationist state of
North Dakota is in possession
of a large stockpile of
nuclear missiles.
"Satellite photos confirm that
the North Dakotans have
been quietly harboring an extensive
nuclear-weapons
program," said Blix, presenting
his findings in a speech
to the U.N. Security Council.
"Alarmingly, this barely
developed hinterland possesses
the world's most tech-
nologically advanced weapons
of mass destruction, capable
of reaching targets all over
the world."
After initially offering no comment
on the report, North
Dakota officials admitted to
having a stockpile of 1,710
warheads at two military sites
and confirmed that the
state has been home to an active
nuclear-weapons-
development program for decades.
Blix called the revelation a
"terrifying prospect for
the world at large."
Within hours of the announcement,
U.N. Secretary-General
Kofi Annan urged North Dakota
to abandon its program.
"This is clearly an excessive
number of weapons for a
place like North Dakota to possess,"
Annan said. "In
this post-Cold War environment,
we should be moving
away from nuclear proliferation
among developing states."
European leaders also spoke out
in opposition to North
Dakota's weapons program.
"North Dakota, still in its cultural
infancy, cannot be
trusted to responsibly handle
weapons of mass destruction,"
French President Jacques Chirac
said. "We are talking
about a place that doesn't even
have a Thai restaurant or
movie theater that shows foreign
films, but still they have
the resources to build thousands
of warheads. Do not
believe their claims of being
'The Peace Garden State.'"
According to Chirac, North Dakota's
development of nuclear
arms "represents a grave threat
to peaceful states the
world over, none more so than
its longtime neighbor and
rival across the 45th Parallel,
South Dakota."
"The South Dakotans, while a
simple people themselves,
are friendly, hospitable, and
far more in touch with the
outside world," Chirac said.
"Many people, myself
included, have passed through
and seen the Badlands and
Mount Rushmore. North
Dakota, on the other hand, is a
bleak, racially homogeneous
state that few people ever
enter or exit."
After a joint meeting of the
French and German cabinets,
German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder
said the two nations
"agree that this situation must
be rectified" and implored
North Dakota to cease its uranium-enrichment
program
immediately.
"We have opened the door to talks,"
Schroeder said. "But,
unfortunately, North Dakota
seems unwilling to engage with
the world community at this
time."
According to Blix, North Dakota
is home to 500 Minuteman
III ICBMs and 50 Peacekeeper
missiles, giving it one of
the heaviest concentrations
of the weapons on earth. The
biggest discovery made by U.N.
inspectors, Blix said, was
a missile field at Minot Air
Force Base, where they found
an "almost unbelievable" stockpile
of warheads.
The rogue state was also found
to possess enormous stock-
piles of fissile material.
"North Dakota could have as much
as 75 metric tons of
weapons-grade uranium and 8
metric tons of weapons-grade
plutonium," Blix said. "Just
55 pounds of uranium are
needed to construct a simple
nuclear weapon. Do the maththe
prospects are terrifying."
The man at the center of the
controversy is North Dakota's
leader, Gov. John Hoeven.
Having risen to power in 2000
after amassing tremendous wealth
in the private sector,
Hoeven lives a life of comfort
and excess inside the
heavily patrolled North Dakota
governor's mansion, a lavish
dwelling paid for entirely by
the state, while many of his
people engage in subsistence
farming.
Some suspect that Hoeven is using
the nuclear program as a
bargaining chip to gain badly
needed economic benefits for
his state. Hardly at the
forefront of technology in other
aspects, North Dakota has a
largely rural population and a
child-poverty rate of 14 percenta
fact critics have been
quick to point out.
"North Dakotans live a horrible
life of isolation and
deprivation, struggling to grow
crops in a hostile, sub-
zero climate while their indifferent
government routinely
prioritizes bolstering the state's
military might," BBC
World correspondent Caroline
Eagan said. "There are people
starving there, and yet high-tech
weapons laboratories and
military bases abound. It's
deplorable."
Added Eagan: "And, no big surprise,
the U.S. played a major
role in arming this place.
I hear most of the missiles are
American-made."
Many U.S. citizens have expressed
fear, some realizing for
the first time that North Dakota
has thousands of weapons
capable of reaching any major
American city within minutes.
"It is absolutely frightening
that there are all these
weapons of mass destruction
practically in my backyard,"
said Karen Stiles of Moorhead,
MN. "Do we really know
enough about these people who
have their finger on the
button that could kill millions?"
Added Stiles: "How did our elected officials let this happen?"
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Subj: U.S.
Towns With Strange Names (S314)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 2/3/2003
Here are sure some oddly named
towns in the USA. Below
are 10 sets of names. In each
set I made up two of the
town names, the other one is
a real town. In each set of
three names, see if you can
figure out which town is real:
1. Toad Suck, Gulping Armadillo,
Hairy Bear (Arkansas)
2. Cold Beans, Bananaville,
Hot Coffee (Mississippi)
3. Tree frog Slue, Spread Eagle,
Kitty Corners (Wisconsin)
4. Frankenstein, Dracula Flats,
Godzillaburg (Missouri)
5. Turkey Scrub, Raptor Ridge,
Chicken (Alaska)
6. Old Nine Center, Fifty-Six,
Numbers (Arizona)
7. Poke-Um, Whippingstone,
Knockemstiff (Ohio)
8. Rabbit Hash, Greasy Gopher,
Road Kill (Kentucky)
9. Happy Jack, Smiling Mill,
Merry Mirth (Arizona)
10. Password, Truth or Consequences,
Game Show (New Mexico)
The answers are below
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Here are the real towns...
1) Toad Suck, Arkansas
2) Hot Coffee, Mississippi
3) Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
4) Frankenstein, Missouri
5) Chicken, Alaska
6) Fifty-Six, Arizona
7) Knockemstiff, Ohio
8) Rabbit Hash, Kentucky
9) Happy Jack, Arizona
10) Truth or Consequences, New
Mexico
Here's the scoring:
10 Correct: I don't believe
it. :-?
6-9 Correct: You've amazing
guessing power.
Buy a lottery ticket.
2-5 Correct: In the words of
the Smothers Brothers,
Mediocre Fred.
0-1 Correct: You're an honest
person,
I appreciate that!
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Subj: How
To Pronounce Wisconsin City (S305b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 12/5/2002
Two tourists were driving through
Wisconsin. As they
were approaching Oconomowoc,
they started arguing about
the pronunciation of the town’s
name. They argued back
and forth until they stopped
for lunch.
As they stood at the counter,
one tourist asked the
employee," before we order,
could you please settle an
argument for us? Would
you please pronounce where we
are…very slowly?"
The blonde leaned over the counter
and said, "Burrrrrr
gerrrrrr Kiiiing."
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Subj: More
Short States Jokes
 |
Subj:
Titty Bar In Wisconsin (S554b)
From: CKButch4Femme on 8/30/2007 |
| Subj:
When For The First 48 States (S540)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/7/2007 |
 |
 |
Subj:
Why They Lock Their Doors In Florida (S435)
From: darrell94590 on 5/27/2005 |
Top
Subj: Florida
The Health State (S410b)
From: JokesUncut on 11/23/2004
Mr. Peterson, a tourist from
Toronto arrived in Florida.
In an airport taxi cab, Peterson
asked the driver...
"Say, is this really a healthful
place?"
"It sure is," the cabby replied.
"When I came here I
couldn't say one word.
I had hardly any hair on my
head. I didn't have the
strength to walk across a room,
and I had to be lifted out of
bed."
"That's wonderful!" said the
tourist , "How long have
you been here?"
"I was born here."
| Subj:
States Drag And Drop (S414b)
From: igiggle on 1/2/2005 |
 |
 |
Subj:
State Map Test (S401)
From: igiggle on 6/9/2004 At: www.pibmug.com/files/map_test.swf |
Top
Subj: Iraq
Vs Washington D.C. (S353b)
From: tadams96 on 11/6/2003
"The U.S. military has had considerably
more success in
turning Iraq around than liberals
have had in turning the
ghettos around with their 40-year
"War on Poverty." So
far, fewer troops have been
killed by hostile fire since
the end of major combat in Iraq
than civilians were
murdered in Washington, D.C.,
last year (239 deaths in
Iraq compared to 262 murders
in D.C.). How many years
has it been since we declared
the end of major U.S. combat
operations against Marion Barry's
regime? How long before
we just give up and pull out
of that hellish quagmire
known as Washington, D.C.? "
Top
Subj: If You
Don't Pay Your Water Bill (S337b)
From: jerry on 7/8/2003
If you don't pay the bill, they
turn off the water. Seems
fair enough, doesn't it?
Especially after several warnings.
It's a little complicated when
the customer is an entire
town. Lannings, Montana
had been billing residents and
receiving payments but due to
squeezed finances used the
money in other areas.
So their water was shut off.
Top
Subj: Rochester,
New York's Slogan (S032b)
From: jerry on 11/13/2002
The cash strapped city of Rochester,
New York decided that
the myriad problems they face
are caused by their lacking
a city slogan. They paid
an agency $400,000 to come up
with, of all things, "Rochester.
Made for living,"
whatever this means.
Didn't work.
Bob Lonsberry Column, Rochester,
NY 18-Oct-02
From: igiggle on 5/3/2003 (S327b)
A severe storm rumbled through
my hometown in Oklahoma.
The entire town was reduced
to rubble. Tens of dollars
of damage was reported.
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/18/2006 (S495b)
Q: Why did Tennessee choose
orange as their team color?
A: You can wear it to the game
on Saturday, hunting
on Sunday, and
picking up trash along the highways
the rest of the
week.
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