Subj: Peanut Jokes
(Includes 5 jokes and articles, 09703n,0,cf,md4w,0)
Dancing Peanut from
Also see MARRIAGE1
Gets Peanut In His Ear'
RIDDLE file - 'A What Am I Riddle #8'
Subj: Tour Bus Driver And Peanuts (S412b, S622c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 12/9/2004
(Also see 'Preacher Eats Peanuts' below)
A tour bus driver drives with
a bus full of seniors down a
highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old
lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he grate-
fully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she
taps him on his shoulder again
and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats
this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the
little old lady why they do
not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that
it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not
able to chew them. "Why do you buy them then?" he asks
Whereupon the old lady answers,
'We just love the chocolate
Subj: Preacher Eats Peanuts (S131A, S703)
(Also see 'Tour Bus Driver And Peanuts' above)
The local Pastor was visiting
the home of Sister Jones to
comfort her after the recent loss of her husband. "Come in
Pastor," said Sister Jones. "Have a seat on the sofa."
Sitting on the sofa, the Pastor
eyed a dish of peanuts
setting on the coffee table. He took a few of the peanuts
and began to eat them. After ten minutes he noticed that
he had eaten nearly all the peanuts.
"Why Sister Jones," said the
Pastor, "It appears that I have
eaten almost all your peanuts."
"That's okay Pastor," replied
Sister Jones. "Now that I have
lost all my teeth I only get to suck the chocolate off!"
Subj: Guy Hears Voices In A Bar (S144)
From: TNKRTEACH on 97-06-11
and From: PGSP4LIFE on 11/02/1999
A guy goes into a bar. He's sitting
on the stool, enjoying
his drink when he hears, "You look great!" He looks around
- there's nobody near him. He hears the voice again, "No
really, you look terrific."
The guy looks around again.
Nobody. He hears, "Is that a
new shirt or something? Because you are absolutely glowing!"
He then realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts
on the bar.
"Hey," the guy calls to the bartender, "What's with the nuts?"
"Oh," the bartender answers, "They're complimentary."
Subj: Short Peanut Jokes
From: Bobbyt's Place
Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night...
One was assaulted. -- The Oregonian
From: humorlist-digest V2 #115 on 98-05-10
Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof
............................Three Stooges from Smiley_Central