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Subj:     Plane-Supp2 Jokes
                 (Includes 22 jokes and articles, 25 1051n,19,cf,wXT4,18)

Drawing  from
AnimationLibrary.com
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Includes the following:  XXL's Airport Love - Video (S892)
.........................WestJet Christmas Miracle - Video (S932)
.........................European Air Traffic In A 24 Hour Period - Video (S895)
.........................Pilot Lands At Secret Base (S126b, S558c)
.........................Top Gear - James May Rides In A U-2 Spy Plane - Vid (S901)
.........................Canadian Develops Futuristic Hoverboard - Video (S990)
.........................Wile E Coyote's Health Tip - Drawing (S941)
.........................Cheap Flights With Subtitles - Videos (S794)
.........................B-24 Liberator Willow Run Assembly Plant - Video (S859)
.........................F-35B Sea Trials - Video (S782)
.........................Gibraltar Airport - Photos/Video (S752)
.........................A Romance Novel (S869)
.........................WASP X-Jet Flying Machine - Video (S749)
.........................TED: 3 things I Learned While My Plane Crashed - Vid (S748)
.........................Duct Taping A Plane In Alaska (S750)
.........................In Descent Proposal - Video (S821)
.........................Quotes from Plane Crews (S236, S451b)
.........................How To Launch A Float Plane - Video (S623c)
.........................Short Plane Jokes
..............................Lutheran Airlines - Video/Audio (S766)
..............................Modern Hot Air Balloons (S846)
..............................Aircraft Detection Before Radar (S756)
..............................Kulula Airlines Photos/Video (S754)

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Subj:     XXL's Airport Love (S892d)
          Made by XXL All Sports United on 2/6/2014
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/y5pzhmGX1sk
 Source2: http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/02/11/
..........xxl-pro-lgbt-olympics-ad-airport-love/
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.......The Norwegian clothing company XXL, which sells sports
.......and outdoor clothing, is the latest company to express
.......support for Russia's oppressed LGBT community.  The short,
.......but eye-catching commercial debuted during the opening
.......ceremony of the 2014 Winter Olympics, in Sochi, Russia.
.......Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful commercial.

Top
Subj:     WestJet Christmas Miracle (S932d)
          From: Cathy Lavezzo-Freitas on Facebook
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/zIEIvi2MuEk
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=585372214845121

 Thanks to a team of merry WestJetters and the power of
 technology, we've learned that miracles really do happen.
 Click 'HERE' to see this actual Christmas magic at
 Hamilton International Airport.

Top
Subj:     European Air Traffic In A 24 Hour Period
          Created By Stan Schroeder
          Posted by vidya (S895d)
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/s2b06qtqpp4
 Source2: http://mashable.com/2014/03/14/visualization-
..........air-traffic/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link

 National Air Traffic Services (NATS), the main air navigation
 service provider in the UK, visualizes their airspace over a
 typical 24-hour period in the summertime.  The intensity is
 mainly due to traffic from the Heathrow and Gatwick airports.
 Click 'HERE' to see this very beautiful simulation.

Top
Subj:     Pilot Lands At Secret Base (S126b, S558c)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 6/24/99
      and From: ginafm on 9/28/2007

 You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security,
 super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

 Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51
 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret"
 base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the
 pilot into an interrogation room.

 The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost,
 and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel.
 The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot
 and held him overnight during the investigation.

 By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot
 really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane,
 gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete
 with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told
 him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent
 him on his way.

 The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the
 same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded
 the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.

 The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to
 me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her
 where I was last night!"

Top
Subj:     Top Gear - James May Rides In A U-2 Spy Plane (S901d)
          Published by BBC America
          From: tom on 4/22/2014
 Source: http://www.wimp.com/breathtakingfootage/

 James May from TopGear ride on a U-2 spy plane over 70,000 ft.
 It is a TU-2 plane (two seat TU-2 Trainer for U-2 pilots).
 Click 'HERE' to see this very beautiful, high altitude flight.

Top
Subj:    Canadian Develops Futuristic Hoverboard (S990d)
         Inventor Catalin Alexandru Duru
         From: Jon Pasco on Facebook on 1/3/2016
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/
.........video.php?v=990253301032716

 Canadian inventor Catalin Alexandru Duru has created a hoverboard
 that allows humans to fly.  Click 'HERE' to see Duru soar 275 ft.

Top
Subj:     Wile E Coyote's Health Tip (S941)
          From: The Major's Notes
 Source: http://toddnoordyk.com/wordpress/front-
.........page-blogs/health-tip-from-wily-e-coyote/
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Top
Subj:     Cheap Flights With Subtitles (S794d)
          From: lubin100 on 10/17/2011
Picture from RoseTheatreKingston.org
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/HPyl2tOaKxM
 Source2: http://www.comedy.co.uk/fringe/2011/
..........features/fascinating_aida_cheap_flights/
 Source3: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascinating_A%C3%AFda

 In this video, the song 'Cheap Flights' is performed
 by the comedy cabaret trio Fascinating Aida at the
 2011 Edinburgh Fringe..Fascinating Aida is a British
 comedy singing group and satirical cabaret act founded
 in March 1983 by Dillie Keane.

 Click 'HERE' to see this absolutely wonderful comedy/
 singing group doing a very funny and all too true singing
 act. The fact that they are singing in English with English
 subtitle makes it even funnier.

Top
Subj:     B-24 Liberator Willow Run Assembly Plant
          From: darrelldre on 6/22/2013 (S859d)
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/iKlt6rNciTo

 This video is about the Ford Motor Company production plant
 at Willow Run for B-24's before and during World War II.
 Ford Motor Company built B-24 Liberators starting on June
 16,1941.  Production rates were so great at the Ford Willow
 Run plant, that a new B-24 rolled off the production line
 every 55 minutes.  Click 'HERE' to see this interesting,
 historic video.

Top
Subj:     F-35B Sea Trials (S782d) 
          From: darrelldre on 1/8/2012
          (See "F-35B STOVL Flight" in Plane-Supp)
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ki86x1WKPmE

 The F-35B short takeoff/vertical landing variant completed
 ship suitability testing aboard the USS WASP (LHD-1) off
 the coast of Virginia in October 2011.  Combined, F-35B
 test aircraft BF-2 and BF-4 accomplished 72 short takeoffs
 and 72 vertical landings during the three-week testing period.

 Click 'HERE' to see this stealth, supersonic, fighter-bomber
 land vertically on an aircraft carrier.
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Top
Subj:     Gibraltar Airport (S752d)
          From: tom on 6/8/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1580754IA2U
 Source2: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/gibraltar-airport-runway.shtml
 Source3: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibraltar_Airport
 

 Gibraltar Airport is the civilian airport that serves the
 British overseas territory of Gibraltar.  It is owned by
 the Ministry of Defense for use by the Royal Air Force.
 Civilian operators use the airport; currently the only
 scheduled flights operate to the United Kingdom.

 In 2004 the airport handled 314,375 passengers and 380
 tons of cargo.  Winston Churchill Avenue (the main
 road heading towards the land border with Spain) inter-
 sects the airport runway, so consequently has to be
 closed every time a plane lands or departs.  The History
 Channel program Most Extreme Airports ranks it as the
 fifth most dangerous airport in the world and the most
 dangerous in Europe.

 Click 'HERE' to see nine photos and a video about this
 very strange airport.

Top
Subj:     A Romance Novel (S869)
          From: bill7808 on 9/3/2013

 Romance Novel--2013 Edition...

 He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and
 guided me into a room, his room.  Then he quietly shut
 the door and we were alone.  He approached me soundlessly,
 from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close
 to my ear. "Just relax." 

 Without warning he reached down and I felt his strong,
 calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and
 moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily.  My
 breath caught in my throat.  I knew I should be afraid,
 but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced,
 so sure. 

 When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight
 shudder, and partly closed my eyes.  My pulse was pounding.
 I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. 

 And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands,
 I inhaled sharply. 

 Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his
 hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine.
 Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly
 trusting and expectant. 

 This is a man, I thought.  A man used to taking charge.
 A man not used to taking 'no' for an answer.  A man who
 would tell me what he wanted.  A man who would look into
 my soul and say ............ 

 "Okay, ma'am, all done. You can board your flight now." 

Top
Subj:     WASP X-Jet Flying Machine (S749d)
          From: Wimp.com on 5/22/2011
Photo from Google Images
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/flyingmachine/
 Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Williams_X-Jet

 The Williams X-Jet, created by Williams International, was
 a small, light-weight Vertical Take Off and Landing (VTOL)
 system powered by a modified Williams F107 turbofan aircraft
 engine.  This vehicle was nicknamed "The Flying Pulpit".  It
 was designed to be operated by and carry one person and
 controlled by leaning in the direction of desired travel
 and adjusting the power.  It could move in any direction,
 accelerate rapidly, hover, and rotate on its axis, staying
 aloft for up to 45 minutes and traveling at speeds up to
 60 miles per hour (100 km/h).

 Click 'HERE' to see the amazing flying machine.  How in hell
 did this not 'catch on?'  Why has it still not been sold?
 I'd rather have one of these than a Jet Ski or Harley Davidson
 any day...

Top
Subj:     3 Things I Learned While My Plane Crashed
          From: Wimp.com on 5/14/2011 (S748d)
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/8_zk2DpgLCs
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/threethings/

 Ric Elias had a front-row seat on Flight 1549, the plane
 that crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York in
 January 2009.  What went through his mind as the doomed
 plane went down?  At TED, he tells his story publicly
 for the first time.  Click 'HERE' to hear Ric's new
 values in life.

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Subj:     Duct Taping A Plane In Alaska (S750d)
          From: tom on 5/26/2011
 Source1: http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/appetite-revenge
 Source2: http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=52677

 When bush pilot Luke Miller, 28, made an overnight stop at a
 friend's hunting lodge in Southwest Alaska earlier this year,
 he had no way to know that a large and very dedicated menace
 would, under cover of night, chew and claw his plane to shreds.
 There are endless bear tales by the thousands in Alaska.  With
 this one, six pictures are worth a thousand words.  Click
 'HERE' to see these six amazing pictures.

Top
Subj:     In Descent Proposal (S821d)
          From: Mel's Video of the Day on 10/4/12
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxTAjVGN4CE
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/4654/In-Descent-Proposal/

 Young man takes his girl friend up in an airplane and
 then acts like there is an emergency.  He asks her to
 read over the emergency checklist which he had made up
 the night before and is really a marriage proposal.
 She looks really scared but then says... ( you gotta
 watch the video to find out what she said! )

 Click 'HERE' to watch this jerk do a beautiful proposal.

Top
Subj:     Quotes from Plane Crews (S236, S451b)
          From: jokecenter.com on 08/06/2001

 Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the
 in-flight safety lecture and their other announcements
 a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that
 have been heard and/or reported:

 "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are
 only 4 ways out of this airplane."

 As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington
 National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big
 fellas. WHOA!"

 After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
 Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced:
 "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments
 because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything
 has shifted."

 "Weather at our destinations is 50 degrees with some broken
 clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive.

 Thank you and remember, nobody loves you, or your money,
 more than Southwest Airlines."

 "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the
 event of an emergency water landing, please take them with
 our compliments."

 Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached
 our cruising altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt
 sign. I'm switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back
 there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight."

 "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from
 the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth
 and nose before assisting children or adults acting like
 children."

 "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your
 belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly
 among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or
 spouses."

 "Last one off the plane must clean it."

 Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing
 in Salt Lake City. The flight attendant came on the intercom
 and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are
 thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault,
 and it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight
 attendant's fault. It was the asphalt!"

 Another flight attendants comment on a less than perfect
 landing, "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain
 Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

 After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight
 attendant came on with, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain
 in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought
 the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And once
 the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are
 silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way
 through the wreckage to the terminal."

 Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement, "We'd
 like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And,
 the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through
 the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think
 of us here a US Airways."

 And from the pilot during his welcome message, "We are
 pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the
 industry.  Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight."

From: gheckman on 10/16/2001
 "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.  We hope you
 enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking
 you for a ride."

 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will
 descend from the ceiling.  Stop screaming, and grab the
 mask, and pull it over your face.  If you have a small
 child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting
 with their's.  If you are traveling with more than one small
 child - pick your favorite.

 "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop
 from the overhead area.  Please place the mask over your
 own mouth and nose before assisting children - or other
 adults acting like children."

 An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he
 had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.  The
 airline had a policy which required the first officer to
 stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and
 give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ Airlines."  He said
 that, in the light of his bad landing, he had a hard time
 looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone
 would have a smart comment.

 Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old
 lady walking with a cane.  She said: "Sonny, mind if I
 ask you a question?"

 "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot.

 "What is it?" The little old lady said. "Did we land or
 were we shot down."
 

From: christyhenning on 9/4/2005
 On a Southwest flight (SW has no  assigned seating, you
 just sit where you want) passengers were apparently
 having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant
 announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture
 here, find a seat and get in  it!"

 On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant
 crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached
 cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.
 This is for  your comfort and to enhance the appearance of
 your flight attendants."

 After  a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
 Memphis, a flight  attendant on a Northwest flight announced,
 "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments
 because, after a landing like that,  sure as hell everything
 has shifted."

 From a  Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest
 Flight 245 to  Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the
 metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It  works just like
 every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate
 one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

From: allenbergman on 4/3/2007 (S532b)
 A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.  After it reached
 a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announce-
 ment over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your
 captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from
 New York to Los Angeles.  The weather ahead is good and, there-
 fore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.  Now sit
 back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"  Silence followed, and after a
 few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said,
 "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
 While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally
 spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front
 of my pants!"  A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing.
 You should see the back of mine!"

Top
Subj:     How To Launch A Float Plane (S623c,d)
          From: mauryschu on 12/16/2008
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/7vWyTHQRIK8

 Thought you might like to see what kind of aviation related
 things they do in Prince George, B.C..  We have all seen
 hundreds of float planes come and go...but bet you haven't
 seen one takeoff like this.

 You have probably heard in "aviation lore" about all sorts
 of things pilots have attempted with airplanes.  Well, be
 prepared to witness one of them.  When a floatplane is
 landed on the grass and taken to the hangar for maintenance,
 obviously it has to depart once again.  Landing a floatplane
 on grass is easier than becoming airborne on grass.  This
 is where "Dolly" comes in.  Put the aircraft on a dolly,
 fire it up, tow it down the runway, and, once a certain
 speed is attained, push the throttle to "Warp Factor 9",
 and you are airborne.

 Have to give the pilot and truck driver high marks for
 guts.  I imagine you only get one shot at this... notice
 the fire truck pursuing them (nice confidence builder)...
 they obviously had a few doubts themselves.

 Click 'HERE' to see how the good people at Hill Aircraft
 Service Ltd. in Prince George, B.C., accomplish a "dolly
 takeoff"!


Subj:     Short Plane Jokes

Top
Subj:     Lutheran Airlines (S766d)
          From: virv on 9/16/2011
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/KakIacaDyCI
 Listen to this announcement, and see if you don't want to
 choose this airline!  Even if you are not Lutheran or from
 Minnesota, you will get a kick out of listening to this...
 I especially like how they collect money for the flight.
 Click 'HERE' to hear this audio file with cute photos.
 

Top
Subj:     Modern Hot Air Balloons (S846d)
          From: Jane Seaman Hernandez
          on Facebook on 4/2/2013
Photo from Wilipedia.org...
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 Modern hot air balloons come in every shape and
 color that the mind can imagine. Click  to
 see my favorite, Abbey of Saint Gall balloon.
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Top
Subj:     Aircraft Detection Before Radar (S756d)
          From: lubin100
          on 7/8/2011
 Source: http://www.design-technology.info/inventors/page29.htm
 Before the Second World War, researchers in France, Germany,
 Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, the Soviet Union, the United
 Kingdom, and the United States, independently and in great
 secrecy, developed technologies that led to the modern version
 of radar.  All these countries tried to develop acoustic
 detection devices to warn when aircraft were attacking their
 countries.  Click 'HERE' to see and read this fascinating
 true story.
 

Top
Subj:     Kulula Airlines (S754d)
          From: sam.hutkins on 6/21/2011
Photo from Google.com...
 Source1: http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/kulula.asp
 Source2: https://www.youtube.com/embed/BMwy0hm8YGs

 Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't
 take itself too seriously.   Check out their new livery!
 Click 'HERE' to see ten photos and a video about this
 very humorous airline.

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                           -(o o)-
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...........................From Aircraft Animations.
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