Subj: Quotations From Various Politicians       From: ossama on 98-05-18 Drawing from WotALaugh.com

 "I resent your insinuendoes."

 "No man is an Ireland."

 "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will
  remain the same."

 "We're going to have the best-educated American people
  in the world."

 "I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress,
  especially members of the House and members of the Senate."
    -- Dan Quayle

 "If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."

 "We do not have censorship. What we have is a
  limitation on what newspapers can report."

 "Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."

 "Outside of the killings in Washington DC, we have one of the
  lowest crime rates in the nation." -- Marion Berry

 "Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."

 "To be demeanered like that is an exercise in fertility."

 "I deny the allegations, and I defy the allegators."

 "If somebody's gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there."

 "When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."

 "Let's do this in one foul swoop."

 "I want to thank each and every one of you for having
  extinguished yourselves in this session."

 "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."

 "I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks."

 "The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13."

 "I hate to confuse myself with the facts."

 "We have a permanent plan for the time being."

 "Family planning has many misconceptions."

 "The people in my district do not want this highway bypass,
  no matter if it goes through or around the city."

 "My knowledge is no match for his ignorance."

 "As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a
  nuclear suppository in our state."

 "These numbers are not my own; they are from
  someone who knows what he's talking about."

 "People planning on getting into serious accidents
  should have their seat belts on."

 "In 1994, Americans stand on the horns of an enema."

From: humorlist-digest V2 #175 on 98-07-14
 The aging process could be slowed down if
 it had to work its way through Congress.

 "The first law of politics:  Never say anything in a national
  campaign that anyone might remember."   Eugene McCarthy

Top
Subj:     Quotes By Different Roosevelts

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 7/21/2005 (S444b)
 "Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened
 the fiber of a free people.  A nation does not have to be
 cruel to be tough."  -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 8/18/2006 (S500b)
 "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
    -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/14/2005 (S425b)
 He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend,
 loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all.
   -- Eleanor Roosevelt

From: LABLaughsClean on 2/21/2005 (S425b)
 "People grow through experience if they meet life honestly
 and courageously. This is how character is built."
   -- Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962), My Day

From: LABLaughsClean on 4/11/2005 (S428b)
 "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
   -- Eleanor Roosevelt

From: LABLaughsClean on 11/27/2006 (S515b)
 Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but
 beautiful old people are works of art."  -- Eleanor Roosevelt

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/7/2006 (S512b)
 "When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do
  not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'"
    -- Teddy Roosevelt
 

Also see 'Roosevelt's Talk To His Son' in LAWYER2
.........'Roosevelt on Courage' in THO-LEARNED2-SUPP
.........'Eleanor Roosevelt on Faith' in RELIGION2
.........'Eleanor on Success' in THOUGHTS LEARNED SUPP
.........'Thoughts Of Eleanor Roosevelt' in THOU-WARM
 

Top
Subj:     Political Wisdom Quotes (S326)
          From: woneye on 4/17/2003

 A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow
 man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
   -- G. Gordon Liddy

 A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend
 on the support of Paul.  -- George Bernard Shaw

 Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people
 in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
   -- Douglas Casey (1992)

 Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey
 and car keys to teenage boys.  -- P.J. O'Rourke

 Government is the great fiction, through which everybody
 endeavors to give at the expense of everybody else.
   -- Frederic Bastiat

 Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a
 few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving,
 regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
   -- Ronald Reagan (1986)

 Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it.  The government
 is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at
 one end and no responsibility at the other.  -- Ronald Reagan

From: LABLaughsClean on 5/16/2005 (S433b)
 "You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of
  eating jellybeans."  -- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004),
  quoted in Observer, March 29 1981
 

 I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report
 the acts.  -- Will Rogers

 If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you
 see what it costs when it's free. -- P.J. O'Rourke

 Just because you do not take an interest in politics
 doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you.
   -- Pericles (430 B.C.)

 The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the
 blessings.  The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal
 sharing of misery. --Winston Churchill

 What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
   -- Edward Langley
 

Top

Subj:.....Winston Churchill Quotes And Facts (S67)   Drawing from Yahoo! Images...

.
 "I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of
 Parliament.  The first lesson that you must learn is,
 when I call for statistics about the rate of infant
 mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died
 when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was
 Prime Minister.  That is a political statistic."
   -- Winston Churchill

From: auntieg 98-05-09
 Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

 Winston Churchill was at a dinner party during World War II.
 As he some times does, he had drank too much.  The lady next
 him turned to him and said "You are drunk!".  Churchill
 turned to her and replied "And you are ugly, but tomorrow I
 will be sober."

From: humorlist-digest V2 #59 on 98-03-09
 Famous Playwright sent Churchill two tickets to opening
 night saying, "Bring a friend,... if you have one."
 Churchill sent regrets saying, "Can't make opening night,
 I can come the 2nd night,... if there is one."

 Lady Astor: If I were your wife I'd poison your tea.
 Winston Churchill: If I were your husband i'd drink it.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 12/2/2001 (S253)
 "Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not
 always like being taught."  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughs.com on 3/18/2002 (S268c)
 The price of greatness is responsibility.
   -- Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughs.com on 5/16/2002 (S276c)
 He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I
 admire.  -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/17/2002 (S281b)
 If you are going through hell, keep going.
   - Sir Winston Churchill(1874-1965)

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/25/2002 (S282b)
 I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared
 for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/12/2002 (S284b)
 A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
 an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
   -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

From: LABLaughs.com on 8/21/2002 (S290b)
 A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a
 chance to get its pants on.  -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

From: LABLaughs.com on 9/5/2002 (S292b)
 Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no
 heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a
 conservative, has no brains.
   -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

From: Puneet385 on 9/15/2002 (S294 in DOGS3)
 I like pigs.  Dogs look up to us.  Cats look down on us.
 Pigs treat us as equals.  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/20/2002 (S300b)
 When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
   -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

From: LABLaughs.com on 3/18/2003 (S320b)
 It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look
 farther than you can see.  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/3/2003 (S322b)
 When I look back on all these worries, I remember the
 story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he
 had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which
 had never happened.  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: woneye on 4/17/2003 (S326)
 The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of
 the blessings.  The inherent blessing of socialism is the
 equal sharing of misery. --Winston Churchill

 We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into
 prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying
 to lift himself up by the handle.  -- Winston Churchill

From: MSindel on 7/10/2003 (S337b)
 "In order to become a great man, one must first
  be a great rascal."  -- Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughs.com on 9/4/2003 (S344b)
 There is only one duty, only one safe course, and
 that is to try to be right.  -- Winston Churchill

From: igiggle on 4/12/2005 (S429b)
 When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
   -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughsClean on 6/7/2005 (S437b)
 "Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is,
 however, a prejudice that many people have been able to
 overcome." --Winston Churchill

 (in drinking)
 Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
 alcohol has taken out of me.    --Winston Churchill
 

From: darrell94590 on 11/14/2005 (S460b)
 Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow
 older, it will avoid you.  -- Winston Churchill

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 12/4/2005 (S463b)
 "It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books
  of quotations."  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 2/17/2006 (S463b)
 "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
    -- Winston Churchill

From: darrell94590 on 6/9/2006 (S489b)
 "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
    -- Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 2/20/2006 (S501b)
 "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
    -- Winston Churchill

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 10/25/2006 (S509b)
 "Mountaintops inspire leaders, but valleys mature them."
    -- Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughsClean on 3/19/2008 (S583b – nat-supp)
 It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have
 to do what's required.  -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughsClean on 4/25/2008 (S588b)
 "We shall not fail or falter. We shall not weaken or tire.
  Give us the tools and we will finish the job."
    -- Sir Winston Churchill

From: Creators.com on 7/31/2008 (S604c)
      Agnes Comics by Tony Cochran .

Also see 'Churchill on Golf' in GOLF3
.........'Churchill on Italians' in ITALIANS
.........'Churchill on Government' in POLITICAL1
.........'Scottish Farmer Saves A Boy' in SCOTTISH
.........'Churchill on Courage' in THO-LEARNED2-SUPP
.........'Churchill on Taxes' in TAXES
 

Top
Subj:     Dan Quayle Quotations (S111)
          From: RFSlick on 99-03-09
 Recently, Dan Quayle announced his intentions to run for
 President of the U.S. in 2000.  Since many younger voters
 may not have been watching the news when these were said the
 first time, we provide you with this list of famous Quayle
 quotes.

 "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only
 regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school
 so I could converse  with those people."
   -- J. Danforth Quayle

 "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    -- J. Danforth Quayle

 "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a
  mother and child."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow
  astronauts."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat
  the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We
  have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and
  water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If
  oxygen, that means we can breathe."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89

 "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a
  mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's
  history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived
  in this century. I didn't live in this century."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88 then Indiana senator
    and Republican vice-presidential candidate during a news
    conference in which he was asked his opinion of the Holocaust.

 "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more
  freedom and democracy - but that could change."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89

 "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice
  president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89

 "May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the
  world."  -- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.

 "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88

 "I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good
  judgements in the future."  -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "The future will be better tomorrow."  -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "We're going to have the best-educated American people
  in the world."  -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88

 "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive
  positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
     -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89

 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO.
  We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of
  Europe."     -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "Public speaking is very easy."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88

 "I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going
  to the polls."  -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused
  the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct
  and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are
  to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are
  to blame.  -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of
  not having it."  -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92
                      (reported in  Esquire, 8/92)

 "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not  occur."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90

 "For NASA, space is still a high priority."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/5/90

 "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach
  our children."  -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/18/90

 "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes
  that Dan Quayle may or may not make."  -- VP Dan Quayle

 "We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to
  enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
  the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
    -- Vice President Dan Quayle

 "I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress,
  especially members of the House and members of the Senate."
    -- Vice-President Dan Quayle

Top
Subj:     Actual Politician's Quotes: (S242)
          From: RFSlick on 9/16/2001
 "The President has kept all the promises he intended
  to keep."  -- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous.
 "Politicians are interested in people.  Not that this
  is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs."
    -- PJ O'Rourke
 "The government's health care policy is as significant
  as a blush on a dead man's cheek."  -- Clive Jenkins
 "Making a speech on economics is a bit like pissing
  down your leg.  It seems hot to you but never to
  anyone else."  -- Lyndon B Johnson
 "Don't get excited about a tax cut. It's like a mugger
  giving you back fare for a taxi."  -- Arnold Glasow
 "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of
  Chicago."  -- Dan Quayle.
 "A committee is a group of people who individually can
  do nothing but together can decide that nothing can
  be done."  -- Fred Allen.
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/5/2003 (S345b)
 We must open the doors of opportunity. But we must also
 equip our people to walk through those doors.
   -- Lyndon B. Johnson

From: RFSlick on 98-05-27 (S242)
 "The first law of politics:  Never say anything in a national
  campaign that anyone might remember."  --  Eugene McCarthy

 

Subj:.....President J.F.Kennedy Quotations Picture from MySpace.com

 Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make
 violent revolution inevitable.  -- John F. Kennedy (in Quotes1)

From: Benicia Herald newspaper on 3/27/2003, page B5 (S322)
 "We have the power to make this the best generation of
 humankind in the history of the world or the last."
   -- President John F. Kennedy

From: LABLaughs.com on 3/27/2002 (S269c)
 The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
   -- definition of"happiness" by John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/9/2002 (S284b)
 Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
    -- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

From: LABLaughs.com on 9/13/2002 (S294b)
 I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   -- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) when asked what
      is his favorite song

From: LABLaughs.com on 5/16/2003 (S329b)
 We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.
   -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

From: LABLaughs.com on 5/18/2003 (S329b)
 As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the
 highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by
 them.  -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/4/2003 (S336b)
 Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and
 direction.  -- John F. [Fitzgerald] Kennedy (1917 - 1963)

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/7/2003 (S337b)
 Civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is
 always subject to proof.
   -- John F. [Fitzgerald] Kennedy (1917 - 1963)

 

Subj:.....Ben Franklin Quotations Drawing from JohmGushue.com...

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/11/2002 (S280b)
 A slip of the foot you may soon recover,
 but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
   -- Benjamin Franklin

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/20/2002 (S286b)
 "Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
    -- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/11/2002 (S286b)
 Well done is better than well said.
   -- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/9/2003 (S322b)
 An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
   -- Benjamin Franklin

From: LABLaughs.com on 5/31/2003 (S333b)
 A good conscience is a continual Christmas.
   -- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2003 (S333b)
 It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you
 think of in time.  -- Benjamin Franklin

From: LABLaughs.com on 8/1/2003 (S345b)
 The height of foolishness is to discard an opportunity
 without full and proper investigation.  -- Benjamin Franklin

From: LABLaughsClean on 2/10/2005 (S420b)
"Those who give up liberty for the sake of security, deserve
 neither liberty nor security."  -- Benjamin Franklin

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 4/15/2005 (S429b)
 Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is
 nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a
 man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum,
 it makes one.  -- Benjamin Franklin

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/14/2006 (S490b)
 "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog,
  and ready money."  -- Benjamin Franklin

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/11/2006 (S499b)
 "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/28/2006 (S506b)
 "In order for three people to keep a secret,
  two must be dead."  -- Ben Franklin

 Fish and visitors stink in three days.
   -- Benjamine Franklin (in Quotes1)

 We must hang together, gentlemen...else, we shall most
 assuredly hang separately.  -- Benjamin Franklin, 1776 (in Quotes1)

From: LABLaughsClean on 2/6/2007 (S527b)
 "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good
  for anything else."  -- Benjamin Franklin

From: WashingtonPost.com on 7/26/2008 (S602b)
      Frank and Ernest comics by Bob Thaves .

For more Franklin quotes see
.....'Franklin on Water' in Food_Etc-Supp
.....'Franklin on Lawyers' in Lawyer2
.....'Franklin on Marriage' in Marriage4
.....'Franklin on New Years' in New_Years
.....'Franklin on Learning' in School-Supp.
.....'Franklin on Time' in THO-TIME-SUPP
 

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/11/2002 (S280b)
 The only thing new in the world is the
 history you don't know.  -- Harry S. Truman

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 9/15/2005 (S452b)
 "If you can't convince them, confuse them."
    -- Harry Truman

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/20/2002 (S281b)
 A people that values its privileges above its principles
 soon loses both.
   -- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address,
      January 20, 1953

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/24/2002 (S282b)
 I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   -- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/16/2003 (S324b)
 In truth, politeness is artificial good humor, it covers
 the natural want of it, and ends by rendering habitual a
 substitute nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
   -- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

From: rfslick on 11/11/2005 (S459b)
 A government big enough to give you everything you want, is
 strong enough to take everything you have.  -- Thomas Jefferson

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 8/11/2006 (S499b)
 "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude
  from from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help
  the man with the wrong mental attitude."  -- Thomas Jefferson

From: rfslick on 11/27/2007 (S566b)
 "Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow
  for those who do not."  -- Thomas Jefferson

From: rfslick on 11/11/2005 (S459b)
 The ultimate result of shielding men from the
 effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
   -- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)